


Let You & Me Become We

by bunny_LeoLan



Category: Untamed - Fandom, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) RPF, 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Genre: A lot of hugs and kisses, Alternate Universe - Real World, Angst and Romance, Bickering Couple, Bottom Wang Yi Bo/Top Xiao Zhan | Sean, Developing Relationship, Emotional Roller Coaster, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Switching, Too much of skinship, Top Wang Yi Bo/Bottom Xiao Zhan | Sean, lsfy - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:22:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 43
Words: 142,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24282796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunny_LeoLan/pseuds/bunny_LeoLan
Summary: Yibo had already sensed that rejection was coming his way, yet he began to open his heart to him.  Xiao Zhan wrapped him tightly in his embrace, only to whisper a “No” beside his ears.What should Yibo do? He knew he had to keep living, knowing that his feelings would not be reciprocated. So, he stepped back and walked out of the other’s life.About Xiao Zhan… What did the one single “No”, that he had said two years before, did to him? It drowned him in an ocean of profound loneliness.He let it hurt,He let it bleed,Yet he kept waiting for Yibo… only He could make him heal.Let’s witness their reconciliation – the couple that is ‘meant-to-be’.
Relationships: Wang Yi Bo & Xiao Zhan, Wang Yi Bo/Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan | Sean, Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan, Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan | Sean/Xiao Zhan | Sean
Comments: 333
Kudos: 557





	1. Emptiness Without You

**Author's Note:**

> Note: This is a work of fiction (RPF). You may find certain similarities but the actors concerned are in no way related to what is happening in this story.

The ringing of the alarm and his mobile disturbed the peaceful silence of his apartment, early morning. The ear shattering screams of the boy, in his dreams, slowly faded away as the disgusting sound of his table clock and the loathsome mobile ringtone, gradually, went on becoming louder. He groaned as he tried sitting on the bed, clutching his forehead with both his hands. His nightmare slipped into the back of his mind and he became aware that he was sitting on his own bed, inside his own apartment, waking up early morning with a nasty hangover.

The ringing of his mobile which had stopped a few seconds ago, started again, leaving him confused and irritated. With his eyes half-shut, he picked up his phone from his bed side table. The screen displayed one call from his manager and another from the CEO of his agency.

Xiao Zhan sighed. He was not in a mood to receive their calls, at the moment. His head was throbbing mercilessly and he was not in the slightest spirit to listen to their nagging once again and that too, early in the morning at six.

But he was left with no choice than to put up with this monotonous routine of meeting his manager at 11 am when she would come to pick him up. They would go straight to the headquarter of his agency and deal with the CEO’s non-stop _“Xiao Zhan, please, please. We rely on you. Please think about it once more”_ and then go the set of the movie he was currently shooting for.

He quickly typed an SMS to his manager _‘I am not feeling well. Desperately need some rest. Give me 2 more hours. I will see you at 1pm’_

He kept the phone on the bed and climbed down. Unknowingly, his feet came in contact with the glass bottles that were there on the floor, at the foot of the bed and his not-so-delicate kick made two of them roll over, spilling the remaining wine all over the carpet. 

Xiao Zhan kept staring at the empty wine bottles. His recently developed regular drinking habits would cause him no good, he knew, but he just could not help it.

It had been two years that every day, whatever might be the time it was, he would have the tremendous urge to drink and no matter how much he tried to keep suppressing his desire and take not more than one sip, he would often end up drinking a whole bottle.

He walked outside his bedroom and came to sit on the sofa in the drawing room. He pitied himself as his eyes travelled across the floor beside the sofa. Empty whisky and rum bottles lying here and there.

Yesterday he did cross every limit. He went out of control, he remembered.

Firstly, he was sick since morning. Secondly, he had to attend an award function in the afternoon and stay there till night.

And being the most pathetic man, he thought himself to be, he got drunk just before entering the function. He had decided to take a few sips and ended up gulping down more than he had planned to.

Ever since Xiao Zhan came to know that **_He_** would be attending the award ceremony the same day as him, he was restless. He had to calm his agitated mind down and appear sober, put on the perfect act of being totally fine, in front of _him_ and everyone else and for that he needed to drink a bit.

It was not that Xiao Zhan created much of a fuss there, except that his manager had to hold him a few times as he stumbled upon his own feet. The rest of the ceremony went absolutely fine. No one noticed anything.

He was indeed an absolute perfect actor, as the nation knew him to be.

Or did it really go that smooth?

Xiao Zhan remembered coming face-to-face with _him_ , minutes before walking on the Red Carpet. The reporter there called _them_ together for an interview. It was not the first time though. _They_ happened to come across each other eleven times, Xiao Zhan counted, in the last two years, in various award ceremonies.

Three times _they_ stood together for a few pictures and interviews that lasted a minute or two. _They_ would together smile, wave at the audiences and say ‘Hello’ to their fans and then part their ways from there. _He_ never turned to look at him, not even once. The rest of the times, _he_ would not even come close to him. If _he_ noticed him from a distance, _he_ would change _his_ direction and enter the gallery from a different side.

Yesterday when _they_ were called for an interview, Xiao Zhan’s manager tried and persuaded the reporter to let him go. He was smelling of alcohol and she, off course, did not want anybody to come close to him for the time being.

The cameras all over the room were focused on the two handsome men, rose to popularity from the BL novel **‘Mo Dao Zu Shi’** based drama **‘THE UNTAMED’** , the top two actors of their country – **WANG YI BO** & **XIAO ZHAN**.

They had to come face-to-face in front of the media. With the most disgraceful and hateful, yet dangerously sweet smile, plastered on _his_ face, Wang Yibo walked upto him, stretched _his_ arm out towards Xiao Zhan for a handshake.

Xiao Zhan shook hands with _him_ , returning the smile. Yibo’s eyes were clearly telling him how much disgusted _he_ was by Xiao Zhan’s presence around _him_.

Before they could answer the questions of the Reporter, Xiao Zhan’s manager managed to excuse him away.

“You are, like always, looking more beautiful than any heavenly prince, Xiao Zhan”, the Reporter commented before he was gone.

“Thank You”, Xiao Zhan politely replied.

Yibo’s eyes at once shifted from the cameras, in the front, to his face. _His_ brows knitted. One look at Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan knew that his drunken state was no more hidden from _him_. It was barely three seconds that Wang Yibo’s eyes lasted on Xiao Zhan. _He_ almost immediately turned away, with a displeasing look on _his_ face.

Yes, that was how much Wang Yibo hated him to the core.

Some time later when Xiao Zhan was to be presented the **‘DOKI POPULARITY KING AWARD 2022’** , to his great surprise and discomfort, Wang Yibo was called to present him the award. Now that was unexpected.

Xiao Zhan’s manager elbowed him, “Relax. The whole country is watching you. Just relax. Don’t speak much. An usual one sentence Thank You speech you will give and immediately return. Is that clear?”. Xiao Zhan nodded in agreement.

Wang Yibo’s velvet voice reached his ear. **“And as we expected, the most deserving actor, once again, won the Doki Popularity King Award of this year… Fourth time in a row… well that is extremely impressive, isn’t it?”**, _he_ smiled the most fake smile and continued, **“The award goes to my most favorite and everyone’s most favorite XIAO ZHAN”**. _He_ put _his_ hands together and clapped.

Xiao Zhan got up from his seat as his name was announced. Taking in a deep breath, he tried to gather enough strength to move.

Gradually he climbed up the steps and walked towards the center of the stage.

With another repellent smile, Wang Yibo walked towards him and presented him the award. _He_ moved a bit, positioning _himself_ so that the cameras in front could get a proper video of _them_ and people could interpret _his_ lip movements.

 **“Congratulations Xiao Zhan. I am so proud of you”** , _He_ smiled.

Xiao Zhan was expected to return _him_ the smile and walk away but his drunken state robbed him off his normal calm and polite composure. He, too, positioned himself in a way such that the cameras could only get a view of his back.

He looked at _him_ and gritted his teeth, **“How do you do it Wang Yibo? I seriously need to learn this skill from you. My head is aching so much that I want to pull all the veins from inside my brain out of my skull and you are throwing this smile at me? You hate me so much? For what? What did I do? Why don’t I deserve to explain myself?”**

Yibo’s face fell and _he_ kept staring at Xiao Zhan with a dull look. He snatched the award away from _his_ hands and turned towards the microphone stand to address the audiences with the monotonous _‘Thank You all for your support……’_ speech and walked away, a minute later, to climb down the stage.

As he was climbing down, his head spun and he fell down from the stage, losing consciousness. The last thing he remembered was the guards running towards him as everything around him went blank.

He had regained his consciousness some time later. He woke up in his changing room. A doctor was sitting beside him, checking his pulse. His manager was standing at the edge of the bed.

He heard the doctor addressing him, “Don’t drink much and take some rest. A good amount of rest. This time it’s nothing serious but fatigue resulted from overwork. But next time you may fall seriously ill. Take a break and rest”

With that being said, he went away. The staffs left one by one. Xiao Zhan’s manager was the only one who stayed behind. She came upto him and said, “Let’s drop you home. Do you want a day or two off?”

“No. I am fine. I don’t need a holiday”. He was expecting her to say that she knew he was tired and he should get some rest but as usual nobody cared. It seemed like she was relieved hearing that he was fine and didn’t need any break.

“Ummm, when I fainted, did _he_ see me?”, Xiao Zhan asked.

His manager stared at him for a while before responding “Yes”

“Did _he_ come for me?”

“No”

“Why?”

“What why? It has been two years already, Xiao Zhan. Anyone in his place would have done the same. When I had broken up with my first boyfriend, I even changed my mail id and contact number so that he can never get in touch with me again”

“I was not his boyfriend. What non sense are you saying?”

“Whatever you were, best friendship is no less than having a relationship. You were the closest to _him_. People need to leave the past behind them to live and _he_ is doing the same”, she tried to explain.

“What past? We can’t avoid each other like this. We keep on meeting in various ceremonies. Isn’t it better to come in talking terms once again?”

“NO… it’s not better. Staying around you will cause him nothing but pain. Let him be at peace. Forget about _him_. I have heard _he_ is dating somebody now. Let _him_ deal with _his_ life in _his_ own way”

“Who? Wang Yibo? No way, they are rumors”

“They are not. The paparazzi got many pictures of _him_ with the girl on various occasions. They were seen together on this year’s first snow”

Xiao Zhan kept silent. His manager patted his shoulder. “Now get up. You need to rest tonight. Tomorrow you have to shoot”

He came back home early and sat down to drink while revising his movie script, dozed off later and woke up the next morning with a terrible hangover.

Xiao Zhan got inside the bathroom. He stepped into the shower and turned the water on. Cold. He didn't need hot water. He moved under the shower. Although the cold stream did little to cool him down.

Standing with his back pressed against the wall, he had the urge to throw up. He immediately rushed towards the basin and let out all his frustrations and agony get out of his body in the form of vomit.

He turned on the tap and sat down on the floor. The faint sound of his mobile’s ringtone was reaching his ears.

His manager and agency would kill him one day, Xiao Zhan thought to himself. He would die while attending their non-stop calls.

They were trying to explain to convince him to sign for a new drama to which he had, already, refused. The drama was to be produced under one of the biggest production houses. They were desperate to have Xiao Zhan as one of their two male leads but Xiao Zhan did not want it.

He would, at any cost, never agree to do another drama based on the story between two men. They had earlier told him that the story would be changed a bit and the other male lead’s sister would be paired opposite to Xiao Zhan in a love angle.

He was completely fine with it but as soon as he learnt that the makers were planning to stick to the original novel and keep the love story between the two men intact in a subtle manner, he, at once, had rejected the offer. He had made it clear that he would agree to do the drama if and only if the role he was to portray was paired opposite to an actress in a love story.

But the people around him are nagging so much that he was literally losing his sanity over their regular repetition of the same topic.

He finished his shower and stepped out of the bathroom. Taking a quick glance at his mobile screen he realized there were eight missed calls.

It was 7 am and he wanted to sleep some more. His stomach growled announcing the urgent need of food. He put on a pair of track pants and a shirt and walked towards the kitchen to heat the soup that was there in his fridge.

Xiao Zhan sat with his food. He felt extremely tired and putting his head down, he rested it on the dining table and held his mobile in his hand. His finger tapped on the WeChat, scrolling down and down and down for three whole minutes till he finally clicked on a number he was searching for.

He tapped the inbox and the **_‘Congratulations on winning the Most Popular Cosmo Glam Actor of the year. I am so happy for you - my dearest sun, my beloved moon and my brightest star_** ’ flashed before his eyes.

No matter how many times he had seen it, he still felt his heart becoming heavy looking at the message that was sent to him two years before, the last message that _he_ had sent to which Xiao Zhan never responded.

He scrolled above and saw their previous conversations. His mind was exploding in utter disappointment.

He tapped on the screen and started typing, as usual.

 **‘Hope you are doing well. It has been so long that I did not see you. Not too long, though. Yesterday was the eleventh time that we met, the fifth time I shook hands with you, the nineteenth time that our eyes met and you turned away.** Hahahahaha **. I sound so pathetic.**

**Yibo, Belated Happy birthday. You are Twenty-five now. Next year you will be of my age, the first time we met. _‘Chen Qing Ling’_ is to be dubbed in English, can you believe it? Even after all these years our ‘A-Ling’ is still doing great. Are you happy Yibo? Do you miss me? Off course not but I do.**

**I am a bit sick.** Hahaha. **I am going to eat now and sleep some more.**

**I am trying to do well. You too live well, okay. Bye’**

The message sat unsent for a long time inside the typing box and then his fingers, like always, went to press the backspace button.

To be continued…


	2. Coming Back To Me

****‘…… I am a bit sick.**** Hahaha. ** **I am going to eat now and sleep some more.****

****I am trying to do well. You too live well, okay. Bye’** **

The message sat unsent for a long time inside the typing box and then his fingers, like always, went to press the backspace button.

In the past two years, Xiao Zhan himself had lost counts how many times he had typed innumerable messages to Wang Yibo, only to erase them later.

Even after erasing the message, he kept staring at Yibo’s profile picture for a long time. How flawless he looked in the orange T and black jeans!

Xiao Zhan sighed. He pushed his phone aside and started stirring his spoon in the soup. The ringtone of his mobile once again disturbed the calmness that had started to settle inside him.

How he wished to throw the damm device across the room!!

Absentmindedly, he looked at the screen. Instead of the name of his manager, that he was expecting, there was this unknown number. Not unknown but without a name. No matter how long ago had he deleted the contact from his mobile, he would even, in his unconsciousness state, unmistakably, recognize it.

He was too shocked to move his fingers and receive the call.

Was he day dreaming? Was he hallucinating? Was it the effect of the hangover? Was it because he was missing _him_? Xiao Zhan was not wearing his spectacles or contact lenses and so his vision must be betraying him. There was no way he was expecting a call from this number. Not in this lifetime, at the least.

The call ended. Xiao Zhan was still staring at the screen with wide eyes.

Two years. Two long years. More than two years… 801 days later, to be precise, he was getting a call from this number. Was that even possible?

His phone lit up once again and there was again the call from the same number. This time, brushing away his hesitations, Xiao Zhan touched the ‘green’ circle on the screen and brought his phone to his ear.

“Hel…”

 ** ** _“I am going home. Will you come with me?”_**** , the velvet voice was heard on the line.

“……”

****_“Hello?”_ ** **

“……”. Xiao Zhan was in utter shock. He could not believe what he just heard. It was taking some seconds to process in his mind.

Yibo inhaled deeply.

****_“Listen, I am going home. I need to take care of some private matters. So, I am going alone. I will book my own ticket. If you agree to come, then I will book two flight tickets”_ ** **

“Whaaa… me?”

****_“Will you come home with me?”_ ** **

“……”

****_“Okay, pack your shits. We will leave in a few hours”_ ** **

With that _he_ disconnected the call.

Xiao Zhan kept sitting at the dining table, the phone still pressed to his ear as he was hearing the beep beep beep beep sound from the other side.

Did Wang Yibo call him? To ask him whether he would… wait what? What did _he_ actually say? Xiao Zhan did not even listen to what Yibo said.

 _He_ was calling him home? Why did Xiao Zhan not refuse?

He remembered to have refused _him_ just once. Before that, Yibo never had to ask for anything because Xiao Zhan had always given him whatever he desired for. No sooner did _his_ wishes leave _his_ mouth than Xiao Zhan was ready to fulfil them all.

But one time, two years before, for the first time Xiao Zhan had refused Wang Yibo to give _him_ what _he_ was asking for.

_“Will you be with me, Zhan-ge?”_

“Hmm?”

_“With me? Like… you know what I am talking about, ** **like the way our sweethearts are with each other – Lan Wangji and his Wei Wu Xian**** ”_

Xiao Zhan knew Wang Yibo was considering him in a way he did not know how to reciprocate. Wang Yibo was his… just his… only… he did not know how to define their relationship, but not in the way Yibo was asking.

Xiao Zhan shook his head. “Yibo, what are you saying?”

_“I know, Zhan-ge, what am I saying and I know what you are thinking. Just for a final confirmation, I want to hear from you – ** **Yes**** or ****No****?”_

“Yibo, we can talk about this later. See, we both have shoots tomorrow. Its already late and we need to catch the early morning flights”

_“It will hardly take a second. A ** **Yes**** or a ****No****? Zhan-ge. Answer me, I will leave”_

“Yibo, baby you don’t understand”

_“Don’t baby me… You know what I feel for you, right? The whole world knows. I just want to know about yours. ** **Yes**** or ****No****?”_

“Yibo…”

_“This is the last Weibo Sina award function of ** **‘A-Ling’****. ****The last time we got nominated for Wei Wu Xian and his Lan Wangji.**** The last time we stood together on stage. The last time we received the same award together. From tomorrow onwards, I don’t even know Zhan-ge whether to meet you or not. So, answer me – ****Yes**** or ****No****?”_

“Hey, what are you saying… Off course, you can come to me anytime you wish to”

_“I will need a reason to come back to you. I need you to give me one reason, Goddammit. Zhan-ge, A ** **Yes**** from you or a ****No****?_

“……”

_“The last time, Zhan-ge… ** **Yes**** or ****No****?”_

“Yibo…”

_“Yes, I am listening. Tell me. ** **Yes**** or ****No****?”_

Xiao Zhan sighed, “ ** **No**** … but, listen to me…”

_“Zhan-ge, is it because our agencies asked you to stay away from me because they are concerned that this relation between us will ruin our careers in near future or……”_

“You knew?”. Xiao Zhan was too shocked to move. How did Yibo know what people were telling him behind _his_ back?

_“or… or… is it because I am a fool?”_

“Baby, No”

_“Zhan-ge, I saw the messages that they had sent you… those that asked you to fake a friendship with me till the last fan-meet of ‘A-Ling’”_

Xiao Zhan was too shocked to think of a reply.

“You saw? You never told me Yibo”

_“I was waiting for you to tell me… you would come to me and say that what they want do not matter. What I want matters to you Zhan-ge?”_

Xiao Zhan held Yibo by _his_ shoulders and pulled _him_ closer to his chest. “Only your desires matter to me Yibo”

 _“You are saying this now… not when I wanted to hear them for you”_ , Yibo swallowed.

“Don’t be mad my little boy”. Xiao Zhan refused to let Yibo go when _he_ struggled to release _himself_ and held _him_ more firmly, fearing _he_ might disappear if he loosened his hold.

_“Then tell me why cannot you love me back… because they told you not to fall for me?_

“They are not important, Yibo. No one can come in between you and me”

_“So, it’s your decision. You don’t love me, is that it?”_

Xiao Zhan kept silent.

Yibo stepped forward and pulled Xiao Zhan into a tight hug. Hiding _his_ face against his neck, Yibo whispered, _“Zhan-ge”_

Xiao Zhan wrapped Yibo tighter in his embrace. “Baby, I am sorry. It’s not their fault”

_“Is it my fault, Zhan-ge?”_

“No, no, baby”. Neither of them withdrew from the hug.

_“Baobao. I texted you yesterday, congratulated you on winning the award. Why did you not reply?”_

“I… was busy and later I forgot”, Xiao Zhan lied.

He knew he had intentionally avoided replying to _him_. He guessed Yibo would sooner or later bring this topic to discuss over and he was preparing an answer that would be able to define his state of mind but without hurting the other person's feelings. Till then he chose to avoid Yibo.

_“Baobei… when you ignore me, it hurts”_

“Sorry baby, I did not intend to hurt you”

_“Will you return to your ‘Our Song’ shoot tomorrow?”_

“Yes”, Xiao Zhan, lovingly, patted _his_ back. “What happened Yibo?”, he asked as he felt _him_ shiver a little.

 _“Work hard. Okay. I wish you immense success. May your popularity reach the sky and even beyond that”_. Yibo broke the hug and looked at him. Xiao Zhan tried to read the empty expressions on Yibo’s face.

“Baby, go home and sleep okay”

 _“Don’t baby me. Not anymore”_ , Yibo chuckled sadly.

“Because you are a clingy baby”. Xiao Zhan tried to smile.

Yibo did not respond for a while. Then _he_ looked into Xiao Zhan’s eyes and thought something for a while. _“It’s aching Zhan-ge”_

“Where?”, Xiao Zhan lifted his hand and brushed the back of his knuckle against Yibo’s cheek.

_“I don’t know”_

“Baby”

_“You cannot call me your baby”_

“Why can’t I? You can call me baobao but I cannot. How is this fair, my darling puppy?”, Xiao Zhan cupped _his_ face and tucked some hair behind _his_ ears.

Yibo leaned forward and pressed a kiss on his right cheek. _“Baobei, I am going”_

“No, you are not. Don’t say I am going. Say _‘Baobei, see you later’_ okay?”

Yibo did not respond. _He_ turned back and opened the door of Xiao Zhan’s changing room and went outside.

Wang Yibo left.

Xiao Zhan had refused Yibo once and everything that was in between them had ended. Everyone around him forbade him to contact Yibo. His agency, Yibo’s agency, CQL makers, his co-actors, whoever heard about them tried explaining to Xiao Zhan that this was China and he was in the entertainment industry where the personal lives of the celebrities always had a great impact on their professional careers. Xiao Zhan should not mess with his fame, especially during a time when his success rate was at the peak. He should not do anything in haste that would tag him a ****‘GAY’**** in the eyes of the judgemental society.

Xiao Zhan said ****‘No’**** to Yibo once. Since then he had developed a panic towards this bitter word ****‘No’****.

 ** **‘No’**** meant ****‘No’****.

 ** **‘No’**** did not have a ****‘Yes’**** in it and he could never go back in time and change that ****‘No’**** to a ****‘Yes’****.

Whenever he reminisced the incident, he frantically searched in the internet an English synonym for ****‘No’**** with a ****‘Yes’**** in it.

Even in his nightmares he would see a boy crying for his help and he was saying ****‘No’**** and the boy slipped off from the……

Xiao Zhan snapped out of his thoughts when his doorbell rang. He was lying on his bed looking at the empty ceiling, his clothes spread around here and there across the room, when the sound of the doorbell startled him.

He glanced at the clock. 11 am. Who could be at this time? Not his manager because they were supposed to meet two hours later. How would Xiao Zhan tell her that he was not willing to go to shoot today?

Lazily he stepped out of his bed room and walked across drawing room, reaching upto the door and pulling it open.

 ** **Wang Yibo**** was standing in front of him. With widened eyes, Xiao Zhan checked _him_ from head to toe. Was _he_ Wang Yibo? The real Wang Yibo?

Yibo entered into his apartment and pushed the door close. _He_ then took off _his_ cap and mask and ran _his_ fingers through _his_ hairs. Xiao Zhan kept checking _him_ minutely - _his_ bare face, Wang Yibo in casual dress, he had last seen him like that two years ago.

 _“Did you pack your luggage?”_ , Yibo asked looking at Xiao Zhan.

“Huh… ahhh. No. I mean I need to inform first my… ahhh, manager and then we… no, no, she… they… she… her… ummm”

_“You don’t need to do anything. I have talked to her already”_

“Huh? Who?”

_“Your manager. She said she will inform your agency”_

“You?”

_“Yes”_

“You met her?”, Xiao Zhan was surprised.

_“No, I called her. Talked to her over phone”_

“You… why?”

_“Pack your luggage”_

Yibo went to sit on the sofa, glancing at the bottles of rum, whiskey, alcohol, soda on the floor once and then ignoring them.

Xiao Zhan stayed glued to the spot, still checking out Yibo, trying to convince himself that _he_ was present in front of him for real.

Yibo took the remote from the sofa and turned on the TV. After a few minutes when Xiao Zhan made no attempt to move from where he was standing, Yibo glanced up to look at him. Letting out a deep sigh, _he_ turned off the TV and got up to walk inside the bedroom. Xiao Zhan, quietly, followed _him_.

Yibo opened the cupboard, pulled out Xiao Zhan’s red trolley and spread it on the bed. _He_ then started taking out his shirts, jeans, track pants, T one by one and arranged them properly inside the bag.

Xiao Zhan did not utter a single word and kept looking at the person in front of him who, without needing to ask for permission, was doing everything as if _he_ had been doing them for years.

He saw Yibo walking inside the bathroom and coming back a minute later with his toiletries and shaving set and stuffed them into the bag along with the other things.

Within half an hour _he_ finished packing the luggage. Xiao Zhan was still standing in the middle of his room looking at _him_ who had now seated _himself_ at the edge of the bed with _his_ phone pressed to _his_ ear.

 _“Can you send me a car to the airport?”_ , Wang Yibo said on the call. “ _Today at 6:30 pm…… yes… okay Thank you and I need one more favour of yours… I am texting you the name of a Doctor. Can you get me an appointment? …… Any day, I am in no rush… yes whenever he is available…… Thank you so much, you always help me a lot…… No, I will be staying at my apartment. Don’t worry about the food…… Yes, that would be so good… okay bye, see you tomorrow”_

 _He_ disconnected the call and came to stand in front of Xiao Zhan.

_“Get ready”_

“Yib… Yibo?”

_“Don’t worry. I will take care of the rest”_

That was an assurance Xiao Zhan did not know where it was coming from but he felt relieved. Hours before, when they were standing on the stage during the award function, Xian Zhan remembered Yibo’s stoic face looking at him, devoid of any emotion and here _he_ was standing in front of him, assuring him that _he_ would take care…

“Take care of what?”, Xiao Zhan asked.

 _“Anything that you cannot”_ , came the response from the usual expressionless face.

“I don’t know why I am standing still because I am having this sudden urge to grab you by your collar and punch you hard at your face, Yibo but I don’t know why I am supressing my desires and not only did I let you to barge into my apartment but also……”, Xiao Zhan was suddenly losing his temper.

_“ssshhh… enough”_

“Why did you come?”

_“I will tell you later”_

“Tell me now”

_“Go and get ready”_

“I won’t. Why do you think that you still have the rights to control me? I won’t go anywhere with you”

Yibo sighed and walked back towards the cupboard, pulled out a pair of clothes and grabbing Xiao Zhan by his wrist, _he_ almost dragged him towards the washroom and pushed him inside, pulling the door close.

This person would be the death of _him_ , Yibo thought to himself. Standing in the room, he quickly glanced around ****_their once perfectly-happy-place_**** which was now nothing but in a state of complete mess.

He noticed empty alcohol bottles, one lied half in, half out from under the bed and two rolling in between the cabinet and the nightstand.

Yibo slowly bent down to pick them up and walked out of the room to discard them into the bin.

Two years could turn a person from ****_Perfection-Style-and-Class-Oozing-from-him_**** to an ****_Emotionally-Broken-Walking-Wreck_**** , Yibo would not have believed if this person was not the living example of it.

No matter how much Xiao Zhan was convinced of his flawless acting ability and hid his mental state from everybody else, Yibo could still see through him because _He_ loved him and there was no question about it. _He_ loved him to the extent Xiao Zhan did not completely understand… yet Yibo loved him anyway.

To be continued…


	3. Take Me Wherever You Go

Xiao Zhan changed into fresh clothes and came outside. He glanced around the room. Not finding Yibo there, his eyes landed on the red trolley kept beside the bed. He, internally, panicked as he rushed out of the room to check outside.

"Yibo"

 _"What?"_ , Yibo was sitting on the sofa, _his_ eyes focussed on the TV.

"Where were you?"

Yibo did not respond. _He_ got up and walked past Xiao Zhan and seconds later came back dragging the luggage trolley bag with _him_.

 _"Let's go"_. Yibo walked towards the door.

"Yibo wait". H _e_ turned around as Xiao Zhan called _him_ from behind.

"I won't go"

 _"Don't argue"_ , the cold voice, void of any emotion, retorted.

Xiao Zhan's lips quivered. His eyes brimmed with tears.

"You came to hurt me because yesterday I... misbehaved with you on stage? I am sorry. You already know I was drunk"

_"I know"_

"Then why are you hurting me?"

_"I am not. You are hurting yourself"_

"I cannot hurt myself more than you do. You are the best at it, do you know that?", Xiao Zhan's voice held a hint of sadness, Yibo felt.

_"Come with me"_

"You dislike me, don't you?"

There was a long pause before Yibo's mouthed _"I don't"_ in _his_ restless voice.

Xiao Zhan failed to hear that as his gaze was focused on the Yibo's hand which was, quickly, lifted to wipe away the lone tear that unknowingly rolled down Xiao Zhan's warm cheek. He immediately tried to move away as to brush off Yibo's thumb tip from below his left eye. Yibo, at once, grabbed him firmly by his wrist.

Confused and intrigued, Xiao Zhan furrowed his eyebrows, "Why do you care?"

Yibo remained unmoving and quiet, staring unblinkingly as the other person's face as if his question, instead of reaching _his_ ears, was lost to the storm.

"Don't you hate me? Then why are you forcing yourself to stand in front of me?"

 _"I am not forcing myself", he_ calmly replied.

"I know you don't like me. It has been so many years; you never came to me once. Was I dead for you? If yes then I don't need any of your concern now", Xiao Zhan shouted at _him_ , fury at _his_ face but Yibo seemed unaffected by any of it.

 _He_ stayed silent for a while but when _he_ parted _his_ lips, Xiao Zhan shivered at the words that escaped _his_ mouth.

_"If you let me go empty handed today, I will never in this lifetime return again. Even if you call me, I won't come"_

Xiao Zhan blinked, startled for a moment. Something inside him frightened more than he would ever admit. He hung his head down, looking at the carpet underneath his feet. "Am I the only one in the world you take fun by saying all of this to?"

Gone was Yibo's usual stoic, emotionless expression and in its place was a sadness that Xiao Zhan once again failed to see. Had he looked up and glanced at _him_ , he would have known that Yibo would have preferred numerous whip lashes on _his own body_ than saying something that would induce the sense of unease sliding through him.

 _He_ slowly released _his_ hold on Xiao Zhan's wrist. _"Are you really not willing to come with me?"_

The warmth of Yibo's fingers was already being missed. "I don't want to be a burden", Xiao Zhan said.

_"I willingly asked you. It is me who came here at my own wish. You don't have to feel burdened"_

Xiao Zhan kept looking at Yibo's face.

 _"What are you seeing?"_ , was the question that came for him

"Trying to figure out whether the Yibo I am seeing is real or an invisible veil has robbed me off my ability to see things clear", he answered.

 _"Come"_. Yibo gently caught Xiao Zhan, once again, by his wrist.

"I will not go with you", he said but did not resist anymore as he let himself dragged towards the elevator by Yibo.

They walked outside the apartment and came to the parking lot. There was a car already waiting for them. Shoving Xiao Zhan's luggage inside beside _his_ own, _he_ signaled him to get inside.

Thirty minutes later they reached the airport.

An hour later both of them got inside the plane. Yibo always preferred a window-side seat. _He_ knew Xiao Zhan too preferred to sit by a window, not to look outside but to lean against it and fall asleep. They could not get two window-side seats side by side. So, Yibo, just like the previous times, chose one window and one normal seat for themselves. _He_ offered Xiao Zhan the window-side seat and after they both had settled themselves in, Yibo picked up the in-flight magazine and flicked briefly through the pages.

When nothing interested _him_ , _he_ put it back in the seat pocket and glanced sideways to catch the person sitting beside _him_ already looking at _him_ will full concentration.

 _"Do you need anything?"_ , Yibo asked.

"I am trying to figure out why are you doing this?"

_"I am doing what?"_

"You don't have to do anything for me. I don't want any favour from you", Xiao Zhan frowned at Yibo.

_"You are being stubborn for no reason, as usual"_

"I hate you. Go away"

_The plane already took off. Shall I jump from the window?"_

"Do whatever. I don't want to go with you. I want to go back right now"

**Tears were threatening to spill off his eyes, not because he wanted to go home or he disliked Yibo's company but because it was years later that the 31 years matured man had got an opportunity to frown and nag like a kid, angrily throw tantrums, show stubbornness over simple matters and do all that he wanted to do without the fear of being judged.**

**How difficult it was for Xiao Zhan to suddenly have to live a life without Yibo in it! He became lonely. Being an introverted person himself, he did not have many friends. The handful that he had, were not close enough to handle him anytime he was in need and put up with all his mood swings. He had got none of a kind similar to Yibo. Wang Yibo, in Xiao Zhan's life, was irreplaceable. And now when Yibo was, unexpectedly, after all these years, present before him, he actually did not know how to feel about it.**

A few times, during the initial days, Xiao Zhan had called _him_ late at night when he knew both of them would be free and secretly wanted to talk to Yibo and clear the misunderstanding in between them.

Yibo never received his calls.

No... once _he_ did. Xiao Zhan had asked if _he_ was angry with him and that they should meet someday and spend time together. Yibo had politely refused, saying, _"Chen Qing Ling is done, Xiao Zhan. We have already earned much name and fame. There are hundreds of offers that keep coming to me. I am sure you too must be enjoying the same stardom as me and even more. You don't have to put up with this act any longer. You are no 'GAY'. About best friendship, well, you will get somebody worth more than me. Don't put your career in risk"_

"Yibo, I am not worried about my career. I just want our friendship to be the same like before"

_"Really?"_

"Yes"

_"Are you sure?"_

"I am, Yibo"

_"If I ask you Xiao Zhan, in the name of friendship, come with me today. Hold my hand and let's go to Hong Kong and spend a few days' vacation with me. Will you come?"_

"What? Yibo"

_"A week. We will do a tour of the place, relax and then come back, seven days later. As simple as that. Will you come?"_

"Yibo. I..."

_"Will you come?"_

"What if the media sees us? What if... what if somebody takes pictures of us and everyone sees them?"

_"So, what? I will give clarification. I will tell them you are my best friend and I am yours. What is wrong in doing tours with best friends?"_

"Nothing wrong but see our life is different. People won't believe us"

_"What will happen even if they refuse to believe us?"_

"Our careers will be at stake, Yibo. Don't you understand? Your career, too, will be at..."

_"At risk? That's true. Your career will be at risk"_

"I did not mean that"

_"Well then I wish you once again a promising and very successful career ahead"_

"About **us**... Yibo? We were to talk about **us** "

_"I too wanted to talk about **us**. But, now, **in between Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo, there is no Us**. Forget it"_

"You don't understand my wants, Yibo"

_"Trust me Xiao Zhan, no one understands your hesitations better than me"_

Xiao Zhan was left tongue tied as the call got disconnected but not before Yibo bid him adieu once again. That was the last time they had talked over phone.

Yibo saw Xiao Zhan already turned his head away and leaned against the window, trying to look outside into the clouds.

 _"Will you eat something?"_ , Yibo raised _his_ voice a bit, addressing Xiao Zhan. He turned to look at _him_. "Don't bother me"

Yibo sighed, _"What exactly do you wish to do tell me"_

"I want to go home"

_"We are going home"_

Xiao Zhan did not respond. His brows were still knitted and there was gloominess spread across his face.

 _"Are you hungry?"_ , Yibo asked once again.

"You don't have to do this"

_"I know but still I am doing it anyway. Will you eat anything?"_

"No"

Yibo noticed Xiao Zhan rubbing his hands against each other, sometimes scratching the back of his palm, sometimes his elbows and in between his fingers. He had been doing it ever since they reached the airport.

Yibo hands went inside the pocket of the brown jacket that _he_ was wearing and brought out a blister pack of yellow tablets. _He_ took out one from them and handed it to Xiao Zhan.

_"Take this"_

"I want to go back"

_"You will, after some days"_

Xiao Zhan took the tablet but kept staring at Yibo with an expression that was demanding answers. Yibo turned to face him and stretched _his_ arms forward to hold Xiao Zhan's hand in _his_. Xiao Zhan was surprised yet he did not push _him_ away. He kept still. Yibo's thumb, delicately, brushed the back of his palm.

 _"Are they itching?"_ , _he_ asked.

Xiao Zhan nodded. Yibo carefully slid _his_ own fingers in between Xiao Zhan's and rubbed the itchy skin there.

 _"Take it"_ , Yibo's eyes pointed at the tablet that was there on Xiao Zhan's other palm.

Xiao Zhan made no attempt to withdraw the hand that was intertwined with Yibo's. Using his other free hand, he dropped the tablet inside his mouth. Yibo passed him the bottle of water. Xiao Zhan drank from it.

_"We are still 3 hours away. Sleep for some time"_

"Why are you doing this Yibo?"

Yibo did not respond. _He_ continued to scratch, tenderly, both of Xiao Zhan's hands alternately, from his elbow to his wrists and then the back of his palm and in between his fingers.

Xiao Zhan slowly leaned back and relaxed in his seat. Neither did he ask any question nor did he argue over anything else. After a while he dozed off to sleep. Yibo settled Xiao Zhan's hands lightly on his lap and _himself_ leaned against _his_ seat and closed _his_ eyes.

The flight landed on time. Stepping out of the plane, Xiao Zhan yawned, "I am sleepy. How long will it take before we...... whaaaa... wait... Yibo?"

Yibo looked at Xiao Zhan and following his gaze, _his_ eyes landed on the big Digital Screen at the Airport that was declaring **'WELCOME TO BEIJING'**

"We are in Beijing?", Xiao Zhan asked.

_"I can't believe that you did not know that yet"_

"How will I know?"

_"The air hostess made the announcement around fifty times"_

"I was sleeping and I did not hear"

 _"Fine. Come. Our car is waiting outside"_. Yibo walked towards the baggage carousel device to collect their checked luggage. Xiao Zhan followed _him_.

Half an hour later, when they had settled themselves inside Yibo's friend's car that had come to pick them up and drop them at their destination, Xiao Zhan once again asked _him_ , "Why did not you tell me that we are coming to Beijing?"

_"I told you we are going home"_

"Yes home. I thought we are going to your home. Luoyang"

_"I have an apartment here in Beijing. Is this not my home?"_

"You have your apartments in Shanghai, Wuhan, Nanjing and Suzhou. You bought an apartment in Chongqing too. You did not tell me which home"

 _"You did not want to know where am I taking you. I asked you to come and you agreed"_ , Yibo shrugged.

"I did not agree"

_"You did not refuse either"_

"I refused"

_"That was what you said but not what you actually wanted"_

Xiao Zhan gave up talking and leaned against the back seat, closing his eyes. "I am too sleepy"

_"We will reach soon. Take rest then"_

"I can barely sit. Why am I suddenly so sleepy?"

_"Because of the medicine that you took in flight"_

"Really? Which medicine did you give me?", Xiao Zhan turned to look at Yibo for an answer.

_"You don't have to know"_

"I don't... What? I consumed the medicine and I don't need to know if you had poisoned me or not?"

_"Why did you not ask me before, which medicine, I gave you to take?"_

"Because you... I... you handed me the tablet and the water bottle"

_"So, you thought that you do not need to know which poison I was using to murder you?"_

"No, I just... I... anyway forget it"

Their car halted in front of Yibo's apartment. The driver helped Yibo with the luggage. Getting out of the vehicle, Xiao Zhan remained standing, looking around his surroundings. It had been a long time since he visited the place the last time. He remembered their earlier times. Whenever Yibo and Xiao Zhan had a few days off from work, they used to secretly flee away either to Xiao Zhan's place or here in Beijing and spend the short vacation together, away from media and their regular lives.

 _"Come inside"_. Yibo's voice snapped Xiao Zhan off his thoughts.

"You go. I will come later"

_"Why?"_

"Let me look around properly"

_"You said you are sleepy. Take rest now. We can come back later, tomorrow"_

"I missed this place. You never invited me to come here since then. I was... I was lost". Xiao Zhan almost whispered the last sentence, thinking that Yibo did not hear him when _he_ did not respond.

A moment later Xiao Zhan sensed the touch of warm fingers against the skin of his elbow. He quietly obeyed as Yibo led him in.

 _"Welcome back home"_. Yibo said as he pushed open the door of the apartment. Together they stepped inside and Xiao Zhan felt standing there he would start crying.

To be continued...


	4. With You, I'm Home

"I missed this place. You never invited me to come here since then. I was... I was lost". Xiao Zhan almost whispered the last sentence, thinking that Yibo did not hear him when _he_ did not respond.

A moment later Xiao Zhan sensed the touch of warm fingers against the skin of his elbow. He quietly obeyed as Yibo led him inside.

 _"Welcome back home"_. Yibo said and Xiao Zhan felt standing there he would start crying.

Yibo shut the door as they entered inside _his_ apartment. Xiao Zhan looked around. It was the first time in years that he was back to this place again.

 **The way Yibo had distanced** **_himself_ ****from him, never had he imagined that he would ever be getting another opportunity to come to his favorite place again. Actually, this apartment in particular was not Xiao Zhan's favorite. He showed favoritism towards any place where Yibo would accompany him.**

**A sudden feeling of sadness filled in him as he looked at the Music Player placed on the glass shelf above the Television set that he had gifted Yibo on a Christmas eve.**

**His eyes traveled to the laughing Buddha showpiece kept at the centre of the tea-table in front of the sofa that he had bought for** _ **him** , _ **following the tradition that it would bring rise to Yibo's fortune and he would win the first place in the racing match.**

**Xiao Zhan's gaze rested on the floral print curtains which were beautifying the living room, that Yibo insisted on buying inspite of disliking brown colour, only because Xiao Zhan had loved the design.**

Wang Yibo had bought this apartment of _his_ , early in 2019. They together had, enthusiastically, made a list of the things that they needed to buy to complement the new home's interior design. The things that Xiao Zhan had bought for Yibo, years ago, were still kept in the same manner, allowing them to brighten up the apartment.

Even after all these years, Yibo had still kept the yellow Artificial Flower Plant Pot, exactly at the same spot, three feet below the sills of the window.

 _"Why are you standing? Come and sit"_ , Yibo called, motioning him towards the sofa.

Xiao Zhan quietly came to sit. Yibo walked towards the kitchen leaving him behind with a tremendous amount of mixed emotions as he kept looking around himself, trying to check whether he correctly remembered the details of every corner of this room.

 **"Not so long ago, I was alone and lost. Then you came along and now I am home. Please let me stay here for a long, long, long time"**. Xiao Zhan sighed and chortled to himself sadly, **"When you will ask me to go, I will straightaway refuse, right at your face"**.

Fifteen minutes later Yibo returned with a bowl of noodles in _his_ hand. _He_ put it on the table in front of Xiao Zhan.

_"Eat"_

"You prepared this?"

Yibo nodded.

"You know how to cook?"

_"I learnt the basics"_

"Without burning your kitchen down? I don't believe you", Xiao Zhan threw back his head and laughed.

No emotion crossed across Yibo's face as _his_ gaze remained fixed on Xiao Zhan.

"Will you not eat?"

_"I will. First you eat and then get inside and change and rest"_

"When will you eat?"

 _"I will freshen up first"_ , Yibo said.

"Then I will wait"

_"No. You will eat"_

"No"

_"No"_

Xiao Zhan sighed. "Why are you doing this Yibo?"

 _"Don't you feel tired asking the same thing repeatedly?"_ , _his_ brows knitted.

"You don't have to do this. I was not expecting you to do all these for me"

_"But still I am doing it and trust me it is very tiring to handle such a stubborn person as you and keep answering to your never-ending questions since morning. Don't you think you need to be a bit more considerate and stop being like this and do as I say so that it tires me less?"_

"Whaaa... Okay, I will eat first". Xiao Zhan picked up the bowl in his hands and started eating. Yibo kept looking at him as if keeping an eye on a five years old baby to check if he is finishing his food or not.

When Xiao Zhan was done, Yibo handed him a glass of water. _He_ collected the bowl and the chopsticks and got up from the sofa to leave when Xiao Zhan gripped the edge of _his_ shirt.

_"What?"_

Xiao Zhan stood up.

 _"Do you need anything?"_ , Yibo asked.

"What am I going to do now?"

_"What do you want to do?"_

"You say"

_"Go inside. Take a shower, change your clothes and sleep"_

"And you?"

_"What... me?"_

"You will go away?"

_"Where will I go?"_

Xiao Zhan said nothing more. He released the grip on _his_ shirt and holding the handle of his luggage trolley, he walked inside.

Yibo came into the kitchen and kept the utensils in the sink as he himself sat with a plate of toasts at the dining table. His mobile rang, meddling with the silence inside his apartment. Looking at the contact name displayed on the screen his lips curled up.

_"Qiu Ying"_

"BoBo, have you reached?"

_"I arrived an hour before"_

"Okay I am coming"

 _"Waiting for you"_ , he smiled and hanged the call while hurrying to finish his food. He washed the dishes and returned to the drawing room once again and settled himself on the sofa.

When Xiao Zhan walked inside the drawing room, his brows knitted as his eyes fell on the person sitting, staring at _his_ mobile and smiling to _himself_.

"Yibo", Xiao Zhan called. The concerned person did not look up.

"WANG YIBO", Xiao Zhan raised his voice a little in order to draw the other's attention.

Wang Yibo looked up. The smile on _his_ face faded and there was again the expressionless guy looking at him.

"What are you doing?"

 _"Nothing"_ , Yibo said, putting _his_ mobile aside on the table.

Xiao Zhan came to sit by _him_. Yibo did not spare _him_ another glance. Instead he turned on the TV to a live racing match and concentrated on the screen. Xiao Zhan shifted his gaze from the person beside him to the TV screen and back to the one who attracts his attention like a magnet. They kept sitting like that for some time.

"Ummm, Yibo...", Xiao Zhan started to initiate a conversation "How have you been doing?"

 _"Good"_ , came the immediate response.

"Ummm... when was the last time you came to Beijing?"

 _"Seven months before"_ , Wang Yibo answered straightaway, without turning.

Xiao Zhan waited for Yibo to ask him something. When the other person made no attempt to do so, he sighed.

"Don't you even want to talk to me?"

 _"What do you want to talk about?"_ , Yibo turned his head.

"Anything"

_"Will you tell me if I ask you anything?"_

"Offcourse. Ask me". Now that there was another opportunity, Xiao Zhan, with great courage, was hoping to try his best and mend his relation with Wang Yibo once again.

 _"What are the messages that you keep on typing frequently but I never receive?"_ , Yibo asked.

Xiao Zhan stared at him blankly. He had no idea how did Wang Yibo know that he was in the frequent habit of opening their two years old WeChat inbox and type random messages only to delete them later even before sending them.

"How do you know?"

_"That is not important"_

"Did I, by mistake, ever send you anything?", Xiao Zhan tried to remember, if ever in his drunken state, he did something that he should not have done.

_"No"_

"Then how do you know?"

 _"If you are willing to tell me what you wanted to talk about then I can listen to you now"_ , Wang Yibo's voice was soft, _his_ fingers playing with the TV remote.

"It's nothing important", Xiao Zhan smiled and tried to change the topic. "So, who is you confidant now?"

_"Confidant?"_

"I mean Best Friend"

_"You are in this industry for almost as long as me. You know we don't have friends, let alone best friends"_

"You think so?"

_"Yes"_

"Why is that?"

_"I don't need anybody to confide in"_

**"Only if you give a chance"** , Xiao Zhan tried to reason with Yibo.

_"I don't want to give anybody a chance"_

"I am not talking about anybody. Give yourself a chance"

 _"No need"_ , Yibo answered nonchalantly.

"And what about a Girlfriend?"

 _"Huh?"_ , Yibo's eyes met Xiao Zhan's.

"I heard you are dating somebody"

_"What... am I?"_

"Don't act like you are surprised"

 _"No, I am not surprised, off-course. Learning new things about oneself is always interesting"_ , Yibo let out a humorless laugh.

"There are so many articles on the internet that talk about the nation's heart-throb dating somebody. Who are you with?", Xiao Zhan's heart clenched for an unknown reason over the silly question that he asked.

 _"It must be you and not me"_ , Yibo shrugged.

"Me? ... me?", Xiao Zhan was confused.

_"The nation's heart-throb is not me but you"_

"No... no... You are more charming than I am and over the years your charm just kept on increasing".

Smile completely enveloping Xiao Zhan's face as he sounded like taking some pride for who-knew-why, while admiring Yibo's finely chiseled features and singing praises of _his_ sculpted face and figure. "I am growing old", he added.

 _"You are not old",_ Yibo, at once, replied, making it quite obvious that _he_ did not share the same thoughts as Xiao Zhan.

"I am 31, Yibo"

 _"I don't want to again start a war over this age difference with you"_ , Yibo said with an irritated edge to _his_ voice.

Xiao Zhan giggled cutely, "Okay okay, let's call it a truce. You and me are of the same age and I am more handsome than you are. Happy and satisfied?"

Yibo glanced sideways and for a few moments _he_ forgot _he_ was supposed to keep himself from getting drawn to _his_ subject of thoughts and interests, forgetting every other thing around _him_. This smile of Xiao Zhan's, displaying his two front teeth, his laugh was contagious, his soft chuckle could light up Yibo's mood and drain away all _his_ tiredness in a split of a second.

 _"So, you read my dating stories in the internet?"_ , Yibo changed the topic, trying to focus _his_ mind on something else.

"My eyes happened to stumble upon an article about the same, some time before", Xiao Zhan lied.

_"Is it?"_

"Offcourse, I never search about you"

 _"You are not admitting"_ , Yibo smirked and looked away.

"Don't change the topic Wang Yibo. Do you have a girlfriend?"

Yibo did not answer.

"Are you avoiding my question?", Xiao Zhan asked once again.

_"You too avoided my question"_

"Which one?"

_"What are those messages that you never sent me?"_

"Ummm... it's unnecessary for you. Don't bother yourself"

 _"Then me dating whoever, is also something which you don't need to know"_ , Yibo was clearly disappointed.

"Why?"

 _"Because its unnecessary for you. Don't bother yourself about it"_ , Yibo quickly retorted.

How did Xiao Zhan forget that Yibo could see through him and lying was not going to help him land at a safer place?

"I wanted to ask you in the messages how you are doing in your life", he almost whispered, hoping that Wang Yibo did not hear him but the latter one did and both of them fell silent.

While Xiao Zhan was thinking of another topic to restart their conversation, Wang Yibo was thinking about the things Xiao Zhan said earlier.

 ** _'Give yourself a chance'_** , Yibo let out a sardonic laugh. Let _him_ first gather the broken pieces of _his_ heart, which were lying scattered who-knew-where, then _he_ would start to rethink about _himself_.

The door-bell rang, interrupting their silence.

Yibo got up and walked towards the door, opening it wide and welcoming the very pretty and cute girl standing at the door, who almost jumped into Yibo's arms, wrapping her hands around the other's neck.

Xiao Zhan stood up from the sofa as his eyes froze on the two people in front, hugging.

"BoBo", she screamed.

Yibo spun her around wildly and lifted her off the ground while returning the hug warmly.

 _"I missed you"_ , Yibo's face beamed at her with obvious joy.

They broke the hug and the girl turned towards Xiao Zhan. Her face brightened even more. She came towards him and extended her hand.

"Hello! I am Qui Ying"

Xiao Zhan forced a smile while he shook hands with her. "Hello! I am Xiao Zhan"

"Yeah, obviously you are Xiao Zhan. No one in our whole nation looks as godly as you. I never thought I would be fortunate enough to meet you in person but now that I finally did, I can say with certainty you look very beautiful even without wearing any make up. My God!"

Xiao Zhan smiled a bit more as the girl continued, "Did I just now I shake hands with China's No. 1 celebrity. Amazing!!"

"You are overpraising me"

They exchanged some more smiles.

By this time Yibo walked upto them and putting one of _his_ arms around Qui Yin's shoulder, _he_ pulled her against the side of _his_ chest.

_"This is Qui Ying. My cousin sister's best friend. She is not from the industry so you may not know her"_

"Yes, I am currently working in a software company as a web developer. I met Yibo two years before in a party. Yibo's sister, my best friend, forcefully brought him with her to our university alumni party and we met there"

Xiao Zhan smiled and nodded at her.

 _" **And this is Xiao Zhan"**_ , Yibo continued, _"... offcourse you have seen him earlier on TV and internet but still let me introduce. **He was my co-star, the protagonist of the show, while I was shooting for CQL back in the year 2017... umm, sorry 2018. Was it 2018?"**_

Xiao Zhan looked at _him._ Hiding the sudden rising pain, he still smiled, "You don't remember our A-Ling's shooting year?"

Wang Yibo did not fail to notice the disappointment that crossed Xiao Zhan's face, the fake smile that he was smiling and the sadness filling in his eyes.

 _"It has been a long time"_ , Yibo said.

"Yes, a long gap of four years lies in between", Xiao Zhan chuckled. "Its natural for you to forget. I understand"

They stared; eyes froze on each other's face. Heaven knew what answers were they looking for? Heaven knew they even found them or not.

"Xiao Zhan- gege, may I call you that?", Qui Ying interrupted and asked.

"Anything you like", Xiao Zhan said smiling as his gaze shifted from Wang Yibo to the girl beside _him_.

"Thank you", she flashed a bright smile at him. "I will take autographs of you for my friends and colleagues"

"Offcourse, as many as you wish", Xiao Zhan was polite as usual whereas Yibo's concentration was somewhere else. _He_ was looking elsewhere as if _he_ suddenly started to feel out of place in between the conversation.

"Actually, Qui Ying. I travelled after a long time and so I feel sleepy and tired. I will like to get inside and take some rest. You guys enjoy your time", Xiao Zhan said.

"Yes, sure. Please do take your rest. It is my great pleasure to meet you"

"Hoping to meet you often", Xiao Zhan bowed at her and walked past Yibo towards the bedroom.

The latter one kept looking at the retreating figure.

 _ **'Did I hurt you? But why will you be hurt? What if I do not remember our days? They are supposed to bother me and not you. Who am I to you? ... Only an old friend, rather an old acquaintance who is easily replaceable, isn't it?'**_ , Yibo's mind supplied.

What an irony! Xiao Zhan's heart had always been crying out in silence for this _easily-replaceable-someone_ while that _someone, literally,_ had got no idea that _he_ held the key to the other one's soul.

To be continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will love to hear from my readers what you think about this gradual progress towards their destination of a Reunion.


	5. My Soul Pines For You

“So, this is your Zhan-ge?”, Qui Ying elbowed Yibo as soon as they heard the sound of the bedroom door being closed. Yibo went to sit down and turned off the TV.

 _“He was. Now, he is just Xiao Zhan”_ , he shrugged.

“Is it difficult for you?”, Qui Ying asked.

_“I have to do this, no matter how tough it is for me”_

“Is Xiao Zhan willing to live here with you?”

 _“Yes, he is but he won’t admit and argue with me some more until he is satisfied”_ , Yibo exhaled.

“Why is that?”

_“He is always like that, in the habit of throwing his temper tantrums at me”_

Yibo noticed Qui Ying’s face displaying concern and so he added, _“Don’t worry. I can handle him”_

She sat beside Wang Yibo and opened her sling bag, bringing out a small card from inside.

“The doctor you are looking for is in America. He is looking after a serious patient there and is less probable to return to China before the next month. I contacted him. He said he can guide you via a telephonic conversation”

Yibo took the card from her. _“Will he? Did you convince him?”_

“I did”

_“And he agreed?”_

“You know who is he? My own brother-in-law’s elder brother”

 _“I see. Thank you, Qui Ying”_ , Yibo held her hand and squeezed it.

“BoBo, is he seriously ill?”

_“No. But I want to make sure that he does not fall ill”_

“That’s right. I am sure you will take good care of him”

 _“Only if he argues less and listens to me”_ , Yibo made a face.

“He argues with you… really? Such a warm, polite person”

_“Warm… polite? Huh? He is a devil in disguise. He chews my head off and is an extreme dumbass whose only aim is in life is to derive pleasure by troubling me but if I trouble him, he will sit and sulk and put up an act of being the most innocent soul on earth”_

“Yibo…”

 _“You don’t know him. He is the Holy terror of my life, little monster, spoiled and unruly……”_ , Yibo looked away, making an ugly expression by twisting _his_ face.

Qui Ying smiled looking at _him_. “Terror, monster, devil – they sound like words of adoration meant for him, aren’t they?”

_“No, I am serious. I know him”_

“Then why do you refuse to understand him, BoBo?”

 _“What do I not understand?”_ , Yibo said while getting up and walking towards the switchboard on the opposite wall to plug his phone into the charger.

“That he was so deeply disappointed and hurt when you said you don’t remember CQL days”

_“There is nothing to be disappointed about. I just forgot”_

“You lied, intentionally”, Qui Ying narrowed her eyes while Yibo avoided her and walked towards the kitchen.

Qui Ying went behind him. “Weren’t you telling me just a few weeks before on the 18th of August that the day marked the completion of four years of CQL shooting?”

_“So what?”_

“So, how did you forget within less than a month that it was not 2017 but 18?”

 _“I don’t understand what rubbish are you saying”_ , Yibo shrugged.

“Don’t hurt him. It will pain you more”

 _“More or less, nothing can cease my pain and neither do I know how to lessen it, so let’s not talk about it anymore”_. Yibo said in a stern voice and Qui Ying knew it was a signal meant for her to stop meddling with the topic that Yibo did not want to discuss over.

_“Are you not getting late?”_

Qui Ying laughed, “Now you want to kick me out?”

Yibo came forward and pulled her in a side hug. _“Hell… No. I am not kicking you out. I just don’t want TaiYu to accuse me of keeping his girlfriend with me for so long”_

Qui Ying glanced at her wrist watch, “Oh yes. That spoilt dumb must be waiting for me. I should leave soon”

_“Spoilt dumb? You are insulting your boyfriend behind his back”_

“Shut your non-sense BoBo”. Qui Ying shrugged and Yibo giggled.

 _“By the way, why did he himself not come but send you to my place?”_ , Yibo asked as he walked with her towards the door.

“His tyrant boss asked him to submit certain papers by tomorrow. So, he got busy attempting to finish his office works”

_“Okay no problem. I will see him soon”_

Qui Ying hugged Yibo, “BoBo, don’t hesitate to let us know if you need us. We both are always there for you. Take good care of Xiao Zhan and your own self too. Okay”

_“Sure”_

She put on her shoes and turned towards him, pointing a finger at his chest, “Clear the mess that has happened here”

_“No mess. My heart is alright”_

“Really?”

 _“Now you go”_. Yibo almost pushed her out of the apartment. She laughed out loud.

 _“Byee”_. Yibo said and closed the door. He could still hear her giggles from outside.

 _“Silly girl”_ , he mumbled to himself and sighed.

Wang Yibo unhurriedly took _his_ shower and wearing fresh clothes, _he_ came out of the bathroom and sat down on the bed.

Xiao Zhan was sleeping in Yibo’s bedroom while _he_ chose to take the guest room for _himself_ for as long as the other person was staying with him in the house.

 ** **11:35 pm**** , _he_ glanced at the clock.

 _He_ was not hungry but _he_ should ask Xiao Zhan if he wanted to eat. He ate noodles long ago and must be hungry by now. Actually, _he_ should have asked him earlier but entering his room and sitting on the bed, _he_ had dozed off. Xiao Zhan too did not come out of the room. He must be fast asleep. Wang Yibo decided to wake him up and ask him to eat. It was late.

_He_ knocked at the door twice but no one opened. _He_ knocked a few more times and waited. Xiao Zhan did not open. Wang Yibo sighed. He turned on the knob and pushed the door to step inside. Upon entering, he walked towards the bed and switched on the bed-table lamp to look at the sleeping figure under the blanket.

_“Xiao Zhan, wake up”_

_“Xiao Zhan… come and eat. Get up”_

_He_ called a few more times. The person lying on the bed just stirred a little without opening his eyes.

Yibo was standing beside the bed and thinking if _he_ should shake him a little but discarded _his_ thought almost immediately. Once Xiao Zhan felt fast asleep, _he_ knew how difficult it was to wake him up and besides that he hated being shook in the middle of his sleep. He used to say that waking up with a start gave him a day long headache.

Yibo remembered how _he_ used to wake Xiao Zhan up during those years when they were together…… when they were friends, either _he_ used to play Xiao Zhan’s favourite song on _his_ mobile by keeping the volume low or _he_ used to keep texting him every minute. The sound of the arrival of SMS would force the sleeping person to look into his mobile and read those nonsense messages and then he would finally wake up.

Yibo closed _his_ eyes, pushing away those bullshit memories to the behind of his mind and sat down on the bed beside Xiao Zhan’s legs. After thinking for a while, he kept his hand on the other person’s legs from above the blanket.

_“Hey, wake up. Eat something and sleep”_

_He_ waited for a few seconds and heard Xiao Zhan mumbling something in his sleep, that was hard to decipher. Yibo climbed up on the bed and slowly approached the sleeping person to figure out if he had woken up or not.

“Please come back”, Xiao Zhan murmured. Drops of water rolled out of the corner of his eyes, his face streaked with tears and eyes puffy even in sleep.

At an instant Yibo’s heart twitched, _his_ brows knitted and _he_ felt pity for him. _He_ touched his nose with _his_ thumb tip and brushed away the rolling tear from his beautiful face while looking at the wet patches on the pillow. Xiao Zhan at once opened his eyes. Yibo was startled and moved back.

Xiao Zhan looked around the room and gulped down a few times before his wandering mind gradually came to a halt and his gaze rested on the person sitting on the bed before him.

 _“What happened?”,_ Yibo asked.

“Nothing”, Xiao Zhan said and sat up on the bed, looking down while running his fingers through his hairs.

Both of them nodded at each other and fell silent for a while.

“Did I sleep a lot?”

_“It’s okay. The medicine has its effects”_

“Hmmm”

_“You should eat. It’s already midnight”_

“I am not hungry”, Xiao Zhan replied.

 _“Come and eat something otherwise you will wake up in the middle of the night and then ask for…”,_ Yibo stopped himself from speaking further, realizing that it was not like before when _he_ could, anytime, proudly, let the other person know how much aware was _he_ of his every single habit and that no-one knew Xiao Zhan better than Yibo did.

_“Today I cannot cook much as there are no ingredients. You have to manage with another bowl of instant noodles. Is that okay?”_

“No…no… it’s absolutely alright. Please don’t bother yourself much. I am already ashamed. Please, just leave it. I am okay with whatever you have”

 _“Why are you ashamed?”_ , Yibo asked.

Xiao Zhan did not respond but kept staring at _him_.

Yibo did not question him further. Instead _he_ asked him, _“Will you come with me tomorrow morning? I need to buy groceries and do some other shopping too”_

“Me?”

_“Yes”_

“Will that be alright?”

_“Only if you are fine with it. If you want to rest at home then it’s okay. I will go by myself”_

Xiao Zhan thought something for a while. “I am willing to go”

Without another word, Yibo climbed down the bed.

 _“The noodles will be prepared in ten minutes. Wash your face and come”_. H _e_ walked towards the door.

Xiao Zhan called from behind, “Wait. I will help”

 _“No need”_ and Yibo went away.

Xiao Zhan ran towards the door and locked it from inside and then leaning against it, the suppressed sadness inside him came out in the form of sobs. The nightmare that he had temporarily pushed at the back of his mind a little while ago, once again reminded him of certain unclear images and he had the irresistible urge to scream. He sat on the ground and drawing his legs towards his chest, he bent his head in between his knees.

He had been sleeping on the bed that used to give him the most peaceful sleep. He was sitting in the room that held so many memories, memories of the time when he was starting to gain fame and had become much successful in his career, happy with himself and content in life.

But today, inside this same room he felt unusually uneasy.

Now he was more successful than before, as people knew him to be, and that was true. He was happier than before, that was what people thought him to be, which was unfortunately not true. He was content with his life, as everyone assumed, which was again something to which he could not relate himself anymore.

He did not know why Wang Yibo, all of a sudden, one fine day, called him and brought him here. He did not want to come. He was not willing to spend any time with that person who was not concerned about him, who never thought about how painful it was for him to struggle all alone, for two years, against the loneliness around him.

‘I hate you’, Xiao Zhan said to himself, yet he was fully aware of how much he missed this person who he was, now, claiming to hate.

At one moment he was angry with himself, in the next moment he was furious at Yibo and all that he wanted was to run away and hide himself inside the four walls of his own apartment.

After waking up from sleep he was growing more and more restless with every passing minute. Inspite of all these confusions regarding his own feelings, somewhere in his heart, he was a little bit happy and relieved to have Yibo by his side.

“SHIT”, clutching his hairs in a fist, he groaned. Realizing that he had cursed out too loud, Xiao Zhan put a hand on his mouth and slowly got up from the floor but remained standing for a while leaning against the closed door.

Little did he realize that someone was standing on the other side of the door and was too leaning against it while listening to him venting out his frustrations on his own.

Realizing Xiao Zhan had calmed down, Yibo first decided to knock on the door and ask him if he was alright. The two years of zero communication in between them made it a bit awkward for the introverted person in _him_ and _he_ sighed and walked towards the kitchen, ignoring the major part of _him_ that still wanted to go and check on him.

It was really difficult for Yibo to call Xiao Zhan and approach him after all these years, yet _he_ did. Brushing away all his hesitations, _he_ had pushed himself to the edge of _his_ limit to contact Xiao Zhan once again and do those things that _he_ wanted to do for him, those things that Yibo knew nobody else would be able to do for him the way _he_ could.

The other person might not acknowledge _him_ the way _he_ wanted to be acknowledged, yet _he_ knew even after such a long time, only _he_ was capable of taking control over the elder one and persuade and forbid him from doing things that were not in his benefits.

But Wang Yibo wanted to take it slow. _He_ wanted to give Xiao Zhan some time to be convinced that years might had passed in between them but Yibo still cared for him and wanted to help. Xiao Zhan might had not realized that he needed help but Yibo knew and so _he_ was there, right by his side to give him what he himself did not know how much he was in need of.

****Love is but the discovery of oneself in others and the delight in the recognition. Both of them deserved something beautiful. Their journey wasn’t perfect but it was theirs.** **

****Two Spirits, One heart. Magic was about to find them.** **

Yibo picked up a cooking pan and poured water inside it, keeping it on the gas while turning it on. _He_ slowly pulled the serving bowls down off the top shelf and waited for the water to start boiling.

A minute later, Xiao Zhan came and stood behind him.

“Do you need help?”, he asked.

Yibo turned back and looked at him.

To be continued…


	6. My Desert Pleads For Your Water

Yibo picked up a cooking pan and poured water inside it, keeping it on the gas while turning it on. He slowly pulled the serving bowls down off the top shelf and waited for the water to start boiling.

A minute later, Xiao Zhan came and stood behind him.

“Do you need help?”, he asked Yibo.

Yibo turned back and looked at him. _“Seems like you are really hungry. You did not even wash your face”._

 _He_ passed Xiao Zhan a box of tissues. _“Rub those dry tears off your face. You look ugly”_ , Yibo tried to curl _his_ lips upwards a bit.

Xiao Zhan ignored the tissues and opened the door of the fridge to look inside. He searched for something and not finding it, his face fell.

The water was boiling in the pan but Wang Yibo had _his_ full attention focused on the agitated person who was bending in front of the fridge while wiping away the freshly gathered sweat on his forehead with the back of his palm.

_“Are you looking for something?”_

Yibo took a few steps towards Xiao Zhan.

_“We will go to the market tomorrow and you can buy whatever you need”_

Xiao Zhan did not respond to him.

_“Actually, it has been a long time since I came to stay here. So, I don’t have……”_

“Do you have a drink?”

_“Huh?”_

“Alcohol, whiskey, rum… anything will do”, Xiao Zhan looked at Yibo.

It took Yibo a few seconds to overcome the momentary shock that occurred to _him_ upon hearing the question from Xiao Zhan.

“No… I don’t have”, _he_ answered with a straight face.

Xiao Zhan took out a water bottle from inside the fridge and gulped down from it, once again wiping the sweat off his forehead.

Yibo started preparing the food and Xiao Zhan sat at the table. Some minutes later, two bowls of instant noodles were served. Yibo pushed the ketchup bottle towards Xiao Zhan.

Both of them started eating. Yibo was slowly chewing on _his_ food while looking at the person sitting next to _him_ who was not eating at all. Instead he kept pouring water into his glass and drinking from it while wiping his sweat off his face and neck.

_"Why are you sweating?"_

"Hmm"

_“If you keep on drinking water, how will you eat?”_

“Hmm”

 _“Are you okay?”_ , Yibo asked.

Xiao Zhan nodded. Pain and discomfort evident on his face.

“Why are you not eating?”

Xiao Zhan turned to looked at Yibo and then at the untouched food in front of him. Yibo noticed him scratching his neck and hands so frequently that he could barely hold the chopstick and eat. 

_He_ thought for a short while and then stretched _his_ hands to carefully hold Xiao Zhan’s into _his_ own. The latter was surprised and he stopped moving.

_“Are they itching again?”_

Xiao Zhan nodded. “I will be fine. Leave it”. He attempted to withdrew his hands but Yibo held them more firmly.

_“Wait…”_

“I am good”

_“Then why are you not eating?”_

“I am not hungry”, Xiao Zhan lied and hung his head low.

His regular habit of drinking was creating so much discomfort within himself that his whole body was almost shaking with the tremendous urge to take one sip of liquor. His head was throbbing mercilessly, causing him great affliction. He forcefully freed his hands from Yibo’s grip and clutched his hair tightly in his fists.

“I want to sleep. I cannot eat”, Xiao Zhan could somehow mumble.

 _“I will give you a medicine that will miraculously rid you off your headache but your stomach is empty. Eat something first”_ , Yibo said.

“I can’t”, Xiao Zhan groaned.

Yibo stared at his face for some seconds while minutely scrutinizing his expressions. He truly looked pained.

 _He_ slowly dragged _his_ seat closer to Xiao Zhan’s and grabbing his wrists, _he_ pulled him towards _himself_ while the other person did not resist this time and compliantly leaned forwards. Yibo started off slowly with a tender caress to his temples in circular movements with _his_ own fingers, massaging them gently at first, then a little more vigorously. Xiao Zhan closed his eyes as _he_ continued to massage his forehead.

Yibo brushed _his_ fingers through his hairs and massaged his head for a long time. _He_ made sure to keep _his_ fingers relaxed as _he_ soothingly stroked the other person’s scalp. After a while, Yibo’s fingertips gradually slid down along the behind of his ears and rested on his neck where _he_ began to put the desired amount of pressure and rubbed and rubbed until Xiao Zhan could feel the knots that he’d carried there for what felt like forever slowly dissolving.

They stayed like that for many more minutes. The silence in between them was comforting. By then, Xiao Zhan had lost track of every discomfort that was growing inside him a while ago and the only feeling that he had was his desire for more and more of the warmth that his inner core was engulfed into.

 _“How is the headache? Feel any better?”_ , Yibo questioned, hoping he’d say ‘no’. _He_ was ready to serve him more, if that could provide comfort that the other person was in need of.

Xiao Zhan moaned with affirmative satisfaction before he spoke.

“It feels a little better. Thanks”

 _“Look at me”_ , Yibo said and the concerned person looked at _him_.

_“Do you know why I brought you here?”_

Xiao Zhan moved his head from side to side.

_“Yesterday you fainted. So, I called your manager to ask about your health. She said you are overworking yourself; you are over exhausted and so I brought you here”_

Yibo took _his_ hands off him and Xiao Zhan’s displeased gaze followed the movement of the fingers, those that were providing him comfort with affection had now distanced _themselves_ from his skin.

Noticing Xiao Zhan’s full attention focused on _him_ , Yibo took opportunity of the moment and quickly grabbed the bowl of food and picked up some noodles with the chopstick and brought them towards the other’s mouth.

 _“I thought that you must be having a very busy schedule these days and so…… open your mouth”_. Xiao Zhan obeyed and Yibo put some noodles inside his mouth as _he_ continued, _“so I thought that since I am taking a few days break and coming to my place, it will be good if you too can come with me”_

“Why?”, gulping down the food, Xiao Zhan asked. Yibo continued feeding him while answering to his question, _“So that you can get some rest”_

“What about my work? The director must be upset that I took a leave without letting him know”

_“I know that. You don’t have to think about it”_

“How?”

 _“I am telling, chew properly first…… yes, open your mouth”_. Yibo fed Xiao Zhan some more.

_“I found out that the movie that you are shooting for is not likely to get released before next 15 months. The production house finished shooting for a drama. They will edit that and prepare it so that it can come on air first. After that they will start editing the movie”_

“So, they agreed to postpone my shoot?”

_“Yes, they did. You stay here and…… say aaahhh… chew… so, where was I?”_

“My shooting break”, Xiao Zhan mumbled in between chewing.

_“Yes, you can relax and take rest. No one will disturb you here. Not even your manager and agency… ... what happened? Stop shaking your head. There is a little more remaining that you need to finish. Open your mouth... no, I said open... say aaahhhh”_

Xiao Zhan silently ate the remaining food and Yibo put down the bowl on the table. _He_ then pulled back _his_ chair and resumed eating _his_ own portion.

“Yibo?”

_“Mn”_

“Shall I ask you something?”

_“Mn”_

“Will you get angry?”

 _“No”_ , Yibo answered immediately.

“This is the last time I am asking. I promise this is the last time”

_“I won’t be angry”_

“Please tell me why are you doing this for me? There must be a reason isn’t it”

Yibo stopped eating and turned to face Xiao Zhan. _“Why is it necessary to give you a reason?”_

“Because I want to know”

_“I don’t know what reason do I have. I thought that you needed it. I knew that only I will be able to give it to you. Nobody else can”_

“What?”

_“Your peace of mind. You need to realize that this is not how your parents and your grandmother will want to see you when you will go to visit them the next time”_

Xiao Zhan kept quiet. Yibo picked up the utensils and went to the sink to wash them.

“Why do you care about my peace of mind?”, Xiao Zhan asked once again.

Yibo sighed, _“Will we talk about everything today itself? Let’s keep something for tomorrow”_

Xiao Zhan remained seated at the table without asking any further question.

Yibo finished cleaning the bowls and same back to him. _“Why is your face like that? Seems like you are not satisfied with my answer”_

“Nothing like that”, Xiao Zhan answered without looking up.

Yibo gently held his wrist and he looked up.

_“Okay, now if you listen to me Xiao Zhan, I will tell you something”_

“What?”

_“Something which, I think, you should know”_

“What is it?”

“You will have to listen to me first”

 _“Say”_ , Xiao Zhan answered while eagerly looking _him_.

_“If I give you a medicine, will you take it?”_

“For the headache?”

_“I don’t think you need anything for your headache now. This is different”_

“Will you tell me then?”, Xiao Zhan asked.

_“I will”_

“Okay”

_“What are you… a five years old child who is greedy for chocolates? You want a chocolate every time you are to be fed medicine”_

Xiao Zhan nodded. Yibo smiled at him and brought him to the drawing him, making him sit on the sofa. _He_ , then, went inside and a minute later brought the same tablet that Xiao Zhan had taken earlier in the flight.

“Again, sleeping pills?”

_“Taking these, you will fall asleep a while later but they are not sleeping pills”_

Without thinking another moment Xiao Zhan picked up the bottle from the table in front and gulped down the tablet.

“Now say”, he demanded.

_“Okay, listen carefully”_

“I am”

 ** ** _“The thing is that I, clearly, remember that I met you on the day of CQL table reading on 23 rd April 2018. We started shooting on the 26th of the same month. Our shooting ended on 18th August 2018”_****, Yibo paused for a moment, ****_“I never forgot”_****

The words that came from Yibo were so unexpected that it took Xiao Zhan some moments to register them into his mind. He looked stunned as if someone had shown him a great magic and he was so overwhelmed by the tricks of the magician that he simply forgot to clap and continued looking unblinkingly at him.

“Why did you earlier say, before Qui Ying, that you forgot?”, came the question a minute later.

 _“Your hands and neck will itch no more. This medicine provides immediate relief. You can have a good sleep”_. Yibo said.

“I asked why did you say previously that you don’t remember our A-Ling's days?”

Yibo kept quiet for a few seconds and then said, _“You don’t need to hurry in the morning. Get up when you feel like. I will wait for you. We will go the market then”_

“Yibo…”

_“You were complaining that we do not talk. See we had a long chat today. The rest we keep for tomorrow”_

“But…”

 _“Get up and go to bed”_ , Yibo said in a quiet, gentle but strangely calm voice.

Xiao Zhan did not attempt to argue more and slowly got up, “Where will you be sleeping?”

 _“In the next room”_ , Yibo answered.

Without asking anything further he started walking away only to stop in the middle and turned back to see Yibo still staring at him.

“Yibo, since you told me so many things, I too decide to tell you something right now”

 _“What?”_ , Yibo too stood up.

“Thank you for the medicine. It really provides immediate relief and its effects last for a long time”

_“You are welcome”_

“But this is not what I was wanting to say”

 _“Then?”_ , Yibo took a few steps towards him and then paused, glancing at him .

 ** **“Listen carefully”,**** Xiao Zhan had the most adorable eyes and when he smiled softly, Yibo found it so hard to turn away.

****“Yibo... Neither did I take the medicine because I am a five-years-old child, greedy for chocolates nor did I take it because I was eager to know from you what you were going to speak about”** **

He paused and Yibo kept looking into those shining eyes that reminded _him_ how much every beat of _his_ heart had missed the essence of his presence around _him,_ as _he_ waited for him to continue.

****“I took it because it’s you who gave it to me. The only person in this whole world who I never want to refuse for anything. I trust you without any hesitation… even today”** **

Now it was someone else’s turn to remain standing, too stunned to even blink _his_ eyes.

“Good night”, Xiao Zhan said. Before the other person could respond he had already entered the room and shut the door close.

Standing in the middle of the room, Yibo listened to the sound of the empty house. The antique grandfather clock, for which Xiao Zhan had invested a fortune because he loved the golden pendulum and the hexagonal dial, ticked; from the kitchen came the low hum of the fridge and the intermittent drip of the tap.

 _He_ had to change _his_ clothes, take a shower and make plans about which were the topics that needed to be discussed with the doctor regarding Xiao Zhan’s health but Yibo could do nothing.

In _his_ heart there was an inner room, in which _he_ held _his_ greatest treasures and _his_ deepest pains, that part of _his_ core, _his_ soul felt an overwhelming feel of grief. It was like something heavy was sitting on _his_ chest and he did not know how to cope with his aching spirit.

****“You keep asking for my friendship and I keep pining everyday for your love. I don’t think this pain and sadness in me will ever subside. I want to give you all that you need but I fear it will cost me every bit of my self-restraint to keep myself from opening my irreparable heart in front of you. I don’t want you to see through me. My heart is wounded beyond repair. What I desire, you can never give that to me.** **

****Don’t try to take me in your arms, Xiao Zhan. If you do, you will get drenched in my tears”** **

****

To be continued…


	7. Stand By Me Through It All

They walked towards the elevator and pressing the button Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo waited for access to be granted. A camera high in the corner watched them from behind it’s darkened glass.

 _“Adjust your mask, hat and set your glass properly”_ , Yibo shifted closer to Xiao Zhan and whispered beside his ear.

“The mall is almost empty”, Xiao Zhan shrugged.

_“Because this is the afternoon time of a weekday, the grocery store did not have many customers but the food court will be more crowded”_

“We could have come yesterday but I slept all day and you did not even wake me up”

_“It’s okay. You needed rest”_

“And since I needed rest, we have been eating instant meals for two days. I already feel like throwing up. Now I need something good”

_“I will make you something good”_

“No, I will cook”, the elder one excitedly offered.

 _“Stay away from kitchen._ _You are not allowed to put yourself under any stress and that is final. I don’t want any argument”_ , in a firm voice Yibo said. Xiao Zhan understood that he was required to keep quiet for the time being.

“I will teach you how to cook proper meals… Baby”, he referred to the person beside him, lowering his voice hoping that the other one did not hear him, though he also wished that Yibo would hear his calling _him_ ‘baby’ and react to it but _he_ , as usual, put on an expressionless face and looked straight.

A minute later the door of the elevator opened. Three women walked out of it, leaving it empty for them.

“After you”, Xiao Zhan suggested motioning his hand towards the inside of the elevator. Yibo glanced at him from the corner of _his_ eyes and entered. Xiao Zhan followed _him_. The door closed.

“It would be fun if this thing gets stuck in the middle”, he giggled.

 _“How will that be fun?”_ , Yibo looked at him.

“Then we will have to stay inside it for a long time. You will get bored and will have no other option than to chat with me to kill your time till somebody brings us help”

 _“What are you saying?”_ , Yibo frowned at him.

Xiao Zhan giggled some more. “You are silent since morning. Not talking with me at all. That makes me sad”

The elevator stopped at the 7th floor. Both of them silently walked towards the food court.

The large area was not empty but not too congested either. Covering their faces properly, the two of the most popular public figures of the nation selected a table for two at a corner and putting down their shopping bags they took their seats.

“It’s a pity that we are seating at a corner when there is such a nice empty table just beside the big window?”, Xiao Zhan pointed at the other part of the room.

 _“I don’t know if we will ever be able to lead a normal life like before”_ , Yibo said.

“I too don’t like bodyguards and police following me everywhere”

_“That’ for our own security though”_

“And in the process, we cannot get to do what we want to. For example, those window side chairs”

_“Windows always attract you like a magnet”_

Xiao Zhan smiled at Yibo, “And I thought you forgot everything about me”

_“Shut up”_

“I won’t”

_“Okay, the next time we come I will pre-book that table for you”_

“Huh? Next time? Will we come here again?”, Xiao Zhan’s eyes beamed with happiness that he tried to suppress and sound casual.

 _“We can come tomorrow or a few days later”_ , Yibo answered.

Xiao Zhan’s face fell. “You mean a few days later? I thought……”

_“What did you think?”_

“Nothing”, Xiao Zhan smiled. “You sit here, I will bring the food”

_“No, wait. You sit. I will go”_

“No. Yibo. I will go”

Yibo gave up and sighed. _“Okay. Go”_

Xiao Zhan brought two trays filled with packed food and drinks and placed them on the table. They started eating. Yibo was, in between, stealing glances at the person sitting in front of _him_.

Two days of rest and long hours of sleep had already faded the dark circles around Xiao Zhan’s eyes. He was looking fresh. Yibo was happy with _himself_. _He_ did the right thing about deciding to bring Xiao Zhan with _him_.

Yibo knew him inside out. No matter how much he got tired, he would keep working. During those times when they were friends, Yibo remembered Xiao Zhan often used to nag and complain like a kid about his tight schedules, late night shoots and every other thing that made him physically exhausted but Yibo also knew that Xiao Zhan, never for once, ever expressed about his need to rest and sleep to anybody else except _him_.

If Yibo felt uncomfortable in talking to strangers, Xiao Zhan too was an introverted person himself who could not open up just in front of anybody. They both had somehow entered into each other’s comfort zone and perhaps that was the reason Yibo had hoped that Xiao Zhan would listen to _him_ when _he_ would ask the latter to accompany _him_ to Beijing.

Looking at the person, smilingly taking pictures of the food and cherishing while he ate, Yibo could not help feeling content. _His_ 28 years old best friend had now turned 31, who would say?

 _“You look good today”_ , _he_ finally said.

Xiao Zhan looked up. “Yes, I had a nice sleep”

_“If you were so much in need of rest, why did you not go for short vacations or take a few days rest and sleep at home?”_

“No, I can’t. What will…”

 _“What will people think? What will the director and others think, is that it?”_. Yibo clearly got irritated.

Xiao tried to lighten the mood. “No. I was saying I have responsibilities. I cannot let people down”

Yibo did not answer and focussed on _his_ food.

“Umm… Yibo. I saw your recent movie and those three which were released last year, too”, Xiao Zhan changed the topic.

Taking a sip of the cola Yibo looked up. _“Really? What do you think about them?”_

“Needless to say. You already know how they were. If you don’t, then take a look at the ratings and the crowd in front of the movie halls”, he said.

Yibo was silently looking into the eyes of the other, that were beaming with pride. _“I did not ask about ratings and crowd. I want to know from you what you do you think?”_

“Extremely good. Your choice of scripts have always been praiseworthy. The stories were very interesting but……”

 _“But?”_ , there was eagerness in Yibo’s voice sensing the other’s hesitation. _“But what…?”_

“The last one… emmm, was it necessary to kill you. I don’t like sad endings”

_“I don’t know. The movie was adapted from a novel. The writer decided to kill the male lead”_

“Very bad. You know, while coming back home from the theatre, I was thinking so much about the scene where the heroine’s brother shot you in the chest that I literally forgot my way back home and walked to a completely different place”

 _“Heeinn? What? How did you return after that?”_ , Yibo widened _his_ eyes.

“I had to call for a Cab and then I went back home”

Yibo sighed. _“That means you went to the cinema hall alone. What the hell ** **Zhan-ge****. Please don’t……”_. Yibo stopped abruptly, looking away.

Xiao Zhan kept looking at the nervous mess in front of him. “Zhan-ge? That sounds cool”.

Ever since they met, Yibo had, not for once, called him ****_‘Zhan-ge’_****. Now that _he_ did, Xiao Zhan was supposed to be happy but he was not. It hurt him for an unknown reason.

 _“Cool or not that is not important. I am saying don’t go to late night movies alone”_ , Yibo said.

“Why?”

_“You are reckless and if anyone notices you on street, do you know what will happen?”_

Xiao Zhan nodded his head. “Well then, the next time… will… will you come with me?”

The question was unexpected. Yibo kept looking at him waiting for an elaboration.

Xiao Zhan had finished eating by then. Wiping his mouth with the tissues and putting on his mask, he asked Yibo, “Are you still angry with me? Angry for what happened that day? I can explain. Please let’s be friends once again”

Another unexpected question and Yibo did not know what to say. _He_ was thinking of a counter question to avoid answering Xiao Zhan. _He_ did not even wish to think about the past. Not anymore. Enough of thinking and rethinking and over thinking about the same topic, that had landed _him_ nowhere. _He_ had decided that _he_ would give his brain a rest and never think about them anymore.

Unable to immediately come up with anything to ignore Xiao Zhan, Yibo let out a deep breath. _“We are already friends”_

“No, no”, Xiao Zhan shook his head. “not this”

_“What’s wrong in this?”_

“I am having to think before talking to you about anything. The silence in between our conversations feels nasty. You know what I am talking about, right? This is not Zhan-ge and Bo-di’s friendship”

Xiao Zhan knitted his eyebrows as he tried to read the emotions written on the straight face in front of him. Yibo appeared nonchalant, successfully hiding the storms inside his mind at a deeper corner of his heart.

_“I don’t know what you are talking about”_

****“You don’t know or you are acting like you don’t know or you don’t want to know or you just give a damm about me?”**** , Xiao Zhan yelled at _him_.

His voice suddenly rose, attracting attention of the people around. Men and women and boys and girls turned their heads in their direction.

Yibo, immediately, covered _his_ face with the mask and lowered _his_ head. A minute or two passed. _He_ did not look up. From the corner of _his_ eyes _he_ could see Xiao Zhan drawing invisible patterns on the table with his trembling finger tip.

A while later he quietly got up and hurriedly walked towards the exit.

 _“Wait”_ , Yibo called from behind but the other person did not stop. He rushed outside. Yibo, quickly, grabbed their shopping bags and followed him.

Xiao Zhan was nowhere to be seen. Where did he go? Yibo pulled out his mobile and dialled his number. It rang thrice. Xiao Zhan did not receive.

Yibo paced around restlessly. Did he go out? So fast… why? _He_ called him a few more times and all of them went unanswered. Agitation was growing inside _him_.

What did _he_ say for Xiao Zhan to lose his temper like this? He rarely got angry. Why did he react like this all of a sudden?

Standing in front of the staircase, Yibo thought for a while and then turned back to walk towards the Gent’s toilet. The food court had mostly female customers so the washroom, as expected, was empty.

On entering the washroom, Yibo hung the bags up on the hooks of the wall and approached the only person standing in front of the basin, face wet, eyebrows furrowed and eyes closed as his head hung low, with his whole body trembling slightly.

Yibo walked upto him and put _his_ arm around the other person’s shoulder, drawing him closer to _his_ chest while closing the tap with _his_ other hand.

Xiao Zhan opened his eyes and turned his head to look at _him_.

“Yibo. I am sorry…”. Yibo sensed him almost breaking down.

_“I am not angry”_

“I am so sorry. I don’t know what happened there. I am sorry”

 _“I said I am not angry. Relax”_ , Yibo calmly patted his back.

“I know you are angry. Are you ashamed of me? Ashamed that you brought me here?”

_“What? No …Relax, calm down … why will I be ashamed?”_

“I know you are. Yibo. I am… I… sorry”, Xiao Zhan shook his head.

Yibo knew _he_ had to tackle the situation in a way that would pacify the other person down instead of making him more nervous than he already was.

 _He_ gripped his hand tight. _“Shut up and listen to me, okay? I am not angry. Neither am I upset. Instead I am proud of you that you know how to control your temper almost immediately after losing it”_

“Huh?”

_“Yes. You know me, right? I get angry and hold grudge for a whole day or even more. But you a calm and sober person. I admire cool headed ones, don’t you remember? I am glad that you stayed back and did not rush outside”_

“Yibo. I…”

_“Otherwise it would have been difficult for me to find you”_

“But… I caused you inconvenience”

_“You remember once I was angry with you and rushed out of your apartment and drove away without telling you where. You had a hard time looking for me, remember?”_

“I do”, Xiao Zhan nodded.

_“Were you ashamed or angry with me then?”_

“No. I was worried”

_“Similarly, I too was worried until a while ago”_

Xiao Zhan lowered his eyes. “Still I am sorry”

_“It’s okay. I understand. You are mentally too much exhausted. You need more rest and more sleep. You will be fine”_

“I don’t know why am I unable to control my temper these days. You know I shouted at mom few months before and made her cry. I behaved bad”

_“It’s okay to get angry sometimes. Your loved ones will never be upset with you for long, I am sure”_

By this time, Xiao Zhan had simmered down. Yibo pulled out some tissue from the roll stand box beside the basin and lifting the elder one’s chin with _his_ finger, _he_ slowly wiped his face. _“Come. We will go home”_

Xiao Zhan held _him_ back by _his_ shoulder. “I am sorry. I won’t ask you again to come with me for movies or anything that you don’t like”

Yibo smiled at him, _“You gave up too soon. I thought, you will try some more”_

Overcoming the momentary shock, the elder person blinked. “Will you come with me then?”

_“Ermm, if you don’t ask me again, how will I?”_

“If I ask you again, will you?”

_“Ask me a few more times and then I will think about it”_

“A few more times… why?”

_“Why not? You are asking me out. So, you need to work harder to convince me”_

“You are saying this because I insisted you, isn’t it? Otherwise you were not willing”

_“Yeah that’s right. I was not willing but if you keep asking me often, I may change my mind and willingly go to watch a movie with you”_

“But…”

 _“Do you want a best friendship with me or not? You are not satisfied with just being friends and you won’t work harder to earn more than that. How is that fair, Xiao Zhan?”_ , Yibo faked an anger.

Xiao Zhan flashed him a smile, the one that parted his lips and showed his front teeth, “Okay I will work hard”

_“Mn… make sure you work harder. We will then watch a late-night horror movie”_

“Horror… won’t you be afraid, Yibo?”

_“No. I am no more afraid”_

“Liar. You are afraid of ghosts”, Xiao Zhan teased Yibo.

_“I am not”_

“Yes, you are”

_“No”_

“Yes”

_“No, no”_

“Yes, yes, yes”

_“No… four times”_

“Yes… eight times”

_“Fuck you, Xiao Zhan”_

“Fuck you too, Yibo”

The washroom was filled with Xiao Zhan’s laughter and Yibo’s secret giggles.

To be continued…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do leave your comments and let me know what you think about this story or this chapter, in particular.  
> See you in the next update. Have a nice day 😋


	8. Fix My Broken Soul

**** The Next Day ** **

Sitting at the dining table during the dinner time, Yibo noticed the unusual quietness around them as Xiao Zhan was silently eating his food. Sensing his uneasiness, Yibo first thought to wait for a while till Xiao Zhan is ready to talk about his inner struggles to _him_. But _he_ knew he would not do it. He might feel ashamed. He might feel that displaying his weakness in front of Yibo would make him unacceptable for _him_.

Yibo could read his mind clearer than anybody else. Unless and until Xiao Zhan was convinced that no matter how weak he was, Yibo would still be willing to stay by his side, he would never talk about his discomfort.

Yibo sighed. _He_ was the one to have decided to cut _his_ ties with Xiao Zhan. He was the one to approach him first, after all these years and extend _his_ hand towards him, to bring him up from the deep pit he had fallen into. He willingly took up the responsibility of bringing Xiao Zhan back to the state where he was two years before. So, _he_ had to be the one to help him out.

If _he_ did not do it for him, who would?

Yibo coughed slowly, trying to draw the attention of the elder one. As expected, the other person looked at _him_.

 _“Let me be honest with you. I too had gone to watch your movies in the hall”_ , Yibo said.

“Really… how many?”, Xiao Zhan was surprised.

_“All of them that were released in the past two years”_

“Why did you go?”

“Same reason”

“Meaning?”

 _“I mean the reason why I went to catch on your works is same as yours. You wanted to see how I was doing, I too wanted to see how you were doing”_ , Yibo smiled.

“Really? Yibo… you wanted to know?”

_“Why can’t I?”_

“You can”, Xiao Zhan finally looked happy. Yibo too smiled some more.

 _“So, are we best friends again?”_ , Xiao Zhan asked.

_“You are a grown-up man. 31 years old. Some years later you will have a big bald on top of your head and right now you are behaving like a kinder garden baby”_

“And why is that?”

_“You are concerned about friendship and best friendship like those new school going kids do”_

They both laughed together.

_“But what will I get Xiao Zhan, in return for this… for giving my best friendship to you”_

“What do you want, just say it and the thing will be right in front of you”, Xiao Zhan sounded excited, already ready to give whatever Yibo would ask for, from him.

 _“If my best friend refuses to share with me what is going on in his mind and what are those things that are troubling him, then what’s the point of making friendship with him?”_ , Yibo attempted to get up from his chair.

Xiao Zhan quickly grabbed his wrist. “What do you mean?”

 _“As if you would say if I ask”_ , Yibo shrugged.

“Look, I promised I will give you anything. Say it”

_“Will you?”_

“Yes”, came the quick and unwavering response.

Yibo pulled his chair closer to Xiao Zhan’s and looked straight into his eyes. _“Then tell me what is wrong? Why do you suddenly become silent as if struggling within yourself, alone? Tell me the cause for your restlessness”_

“Nothing… nothing. I am good”

_“You are not. Tell me what is it”_

“I am okay”, the elder person looked away nervously.

 _“Fine. I take my words back. I am not willing to be your friend anymore”_ , Yibo sounded displeased as he tried to get up from the chair. Xiao Zhan pulled him back, right away.

“You will feel disgusted if I tell you”

_“You think that Wang Yibo can ever feel disgusted about Xiao Zhan?”_

“You don’t like me anymore like you used to do before”, he sadly complained.

_“I like you the same… Zhan-ge”_

“You don’t even call me ****‘Zhan-ge’**** anymore”

_“I may call you anything. Does that change the fact that you are my ** **Zhan-ge****?”_

“No”

_“Then share with me what is going on in your mind. If you do not trust me with your weakness, how will I know that you consider me your friend?”_

“I am really ashamed of myself”

_“But I am not ashamed of you. You remember you were not comfortable with so many dance-moves previously. Did you ever hesitate to tell me? You trusted me and you remember how we had practised together for so many months and now look at your performances”_

“You follow me?”

_“Offcourse I do. I see your concerts – your singing and dancing as well. You are amazing. 100% perfect”_

Xiao Zhan kept quiet. Yibo knew the responsibility _he_ willingly took for him and _he_ continued, _“I know we had not talked for so many years and suddenly I am trying to invade into private space”_

“No, no… you are no stranger. You have full right to interfere”, Xiao Zhan objected.

_“Then tell me. I want to re-build my friendship with you starting from sharing a bit of your burden. I promise I will take just a little bit from you, not much”_

“Yibo”

_“Let me help”_

The elder one still remained sadly silent.

_“Zhan-ge, let’s put our efforts together and fill the gap of these years in between us. What say?”_

“I…… actually”, he finally began, “I… am very much addicted to drinking… too much. I just can’t spend even a day without consuming alcohol. I tried hard to avoid it but I could never get rid of my drinking habits”

Yibo held Xiao Zhan’s hands and pulled him closer. They both were sitting on their chairs, opposite to each other and leaned forwards with their faces just a few inches apart.

 _“Then?”_ , Yibo’s voice was barely a whisper.

“I have been doing this… everyday… for the past few years”

 _“Two years?”_ , Yibo asked.

Xiao Zhan only looked at _his_ curious eyes and did not answer.

_“You should have visited a doctor. You know professionals are way more capable and they can help people get rid of stronger addictions than this”_

“You know the media. If anyone found out, that news could have harmed my career. My agency did not want that. So, they… said… to try by myself and I failed miserably at it”

Yibo waited patiently for more to come. Xiao Zhan continued, “… this is the first time in many years that I went without drinking for four whole days. Whenever I have the urge to drink, it starts itching everywhere. I feel so much uncomfortable. The physical discomfort is really bad. My head aches and I feel like it will burst if I don’t get a sip”

Yibo did not say anything. _He_ gently caressed Xiao Zhan’s closed fist with _his_ thumbs.

_“Is that why you are looking uneasy?”_

“I am not used to this not-drinking habit. I am feeling like it will be good if I can get…”

 _“You know, you should not do this. It harms you so much. Not only does it deteriorate the condition of your body but it also controls your emotions, your temperament”_ , Yibo tried to explain.

“I know”, Xiao Zhan looked down.

_“Do you know why did you suddenly lose your temper yesterday in the shopping mall? You became so furious that without thinking another moment you went away running?”_

Xiao Zhan nodded his head, agreeing to what Yibo was saying.

_“That day on the stage during the Tencent award function, you were drunk and so you got furious with me. You wanted to talk with me. I did not do what you wanted me to do and you lost your temper”_

“I am sorry. I did not intentionally behave like that but still I did”

_“That’s because when you are upset, when you feel nervous or tensed, that’s the time you feel more like, urgently, needing to drink. You cannot control yourself, isn’t it?”_

“Yes”, he agreed.

 _“So, I cannot let you drink while you are with me, no matter how much you want it. Once you make it a habit, it will not bother you like it used to, previously”_ , Yibo said.

“It does not bother me much once I take the medicine that you give me daily. It reduces the itchiness of my skin and within a short time I fall into deep sleep, forgetting the urge to drink”

_“That’s because it calms down your agitated mind, relaxes your tensed muscles and helps you sleep. The excitement inside your brain, which constantly pushes you to think more and more that you need to drink, reduces”_

Xiao Zhan was surprised. “What was that?”

“A medicine to treat your alcoholism and help you stay sober”

The elder one’s mouth slowly dropped open. His eyes got wider as he started without blinking. “You know?”

_“I do”_

“You knew that I am an addict?”

 _“Yes”_. Yibo stretched his hand and brushed stray hairs from the other person’s face.

“So, why did you bring me with you?”

_“Because you are fatigued, you are worn out. I wanted to take you out of the world, you have confiscated yourself inside. I wanted to force you into living without being dependent on anything”_

“What? … you… I am so sorry”, Xiao Zhan mumbled.

_“What are you sorry for?”_

“You are having to deal with my problems. You said you came here because you needed to take care of some personal matters. But you got stuck with me and my life’s a never-ending complications”, he laughed sadly.

 _“I am doing what I came here for”_ , Yibo said.

Xiao Zhan looked up.

_“Yes, I am taking care of my personal matter”_

“How?”

Yibo pointed a finger at Xiao Zhan and said, _“This best friend is mine so talking care of this shitty person’s shittier things is my personal matter, isn’t it?”_

“You…”

_“I have no work to do. I came here on a long vacation with you. You will get rid of this horrible habit of yours and become healthier and then we will return, okay?”_

“Me…?”

 _“Now finish your food quickly. Take your medicine and go to sleep”_ , Yibo got up from the chair and walked towards the sink to put down _his_ empty plates and bowls and chopsticks.

Xiao Zhan resumed eating quietly while Yibo was washing the utensils. When he was done, he brought his dishes to the kitchen sink to wash them. Yibo grabbed it from him. _“The medicine is there. Go and take it”_

“Let me wash these”, Xiao Zhan insisted.

 _“I will do it. You go to sleep”_ , Yibo said.

Xiao Zhan did not argue further and went outside.

Once _his_ work was done for the day, Yibo walked into the drawing room and saw the other person lying on the sofa, eyes closed. _He_ walked towards him and knelt down on the floor in front of him.

 _“Are you asleep? Why did you not go inside the room?_ ”, Yibo asked softly. Xiao Zhan opened his eyes, his eyelids were already heavy.

“You finished your work?”

_“Yes… come, get up. Let’s go inside”_

Xiao Zhan sat up and Yibo helped him stand on his feet and walked him towards the bed room.

After Xiao Zhan settled comfortably inside the blankets, Yibo got down from the bed and attempted to leave the room when the other person called _him_ from behind.

“Sleep here”

Yibo turned around and saw Xiao Zhan patting the bed beside him.

_“No, you sleep peacefully. I will go the other room”_

“As if we never slept on the same bed before. As if your presence beside me bothers my sleep”

_“It’s okay”_

“It’s not okay”

Yibo did not say anything and kept standing.

Xiao Zhan sat up on the bed and stretched one arm forward, motioning Yibo towards the bed. “Please”

“……”

“You said you are my best friend”

_“I am but…”_

“You said you wanted to take the first step towards mending our relationship by making me share my burdens with you and I agreed to it”

_“So?”_

“Let me take the second step towards approaching my best friend. Come here”

Yibo kept silent.

 _“Baby please”_ , Xiao Zhan pouted at _him_.

Yibo quietly walked towards the bed and climbed on it, switching off the table lamp after getting inside the blanket beside Xiao Zhan

Both were awake. The room was dark and neither of them could see the other. Xiao Zhan’s arm reached out for Yibo under the blanket. Once their hands touched each other, Xiao Zhan quickly entwined their fingers.

“Thank you for coming for me. Thank you for bringing me here. Thank you for understanding my problems and thank you so much for being by my side”

 _“Don’t thank me”_ , Yibo said and tried to withdrew _his_ hands. Xiao Zhan did not let _him_ as he firmly kept holding _his_ fingers.

_“Your presence beside me gives me confidence. The confidence that I have had lost long time back”_

Both fell silent. A while later, Yibo realized Xiao Zhan did not sleep yet.

_“Did you take the medicine?”_

“I did”

_“Why are you not sleeping then?”_

Xiao Zhan moved closer to Yibo, so close that their shoulders almost touched as both of them laid side-by-side on their backs.

“Yibo”

_“Mn”_

“I am sorry for shouting at you yesterday. I should not have done that”

_“You don’t need to be sorry, I already told you”_

“Yibo?”

_“Mn”_

“How badly I behaved, yet you came to find me. How did you know I was in the washroom?”

_“I just knew”_

“May I ask you something?”

_“Ask”_

“If I get lost again, will you come to find me?”

Yibo stayed silent for a while and then turned on his side to face Xiao Zhan.

Xiao Zhan too turned on his side and both of them were now lying on the bed, face-to-face.

 _“What do you think?”_ , Yibo asked.

“I think you will come”

 _“Congratulations… you think right”_. Xiao Zhan heard Yibo’s laughter and he laughed along with him.

_“But Xiao Zhan, I am thinking about me?”_

“What are you thinking?”

_“Ummm… I wonder if I hide behind the curtains and wait for you to seek me, will you search for me the whole time or just let me be hidden for ever?”_

The question was unexpected. Xiao Zhan was surprised. After a minute, he slowly touched Yibo’s shoulder and rubbed his palm against the other’s arm.

“I won’t be late again. I promise. I will find you”

_“Will you?”_

“I will”, the elder one’s determined tone made a promise.

_“Why?”_

“You know the direction to my paradise”

Yibo was dazed. _“Which is your paradise?”_ , _he_ asked.

“A place or state of bliss, felicity and delight”

_“Something like wonderland or fantasy-land, do you mean?”_

“Yes, that is it... but without you, I got lost on my way to wonderland”

_“You were lost?”_

“Until a few days ago…”

_“Then… Zhan-ge… did you find your way back?”_

“I did”

_“How?”_

****“You came… I looked at you and I was home”** **

_“Your home?”_

“Yes… my home”

 _“Oh”_ , the younger one muttered and fell silent, evidently composing himself.

“Next time… Yibo… will you lead my way to wonderland?”

_“Mn”_

Holding hands, they gradually fell asleep.

To be continued…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do let me know what you think about the update.


	9. Let Me Ease Your Pain [1]

_“What do you want to do today?”_ , Yibo asked for the third time, raising _his_ voice when the person concerned seemed aloof and did not answer _him_.

 _He_ put down the knife and the apple on the plate and walked towards Xiao Zhan, who was standing leaned on the balcony door, and elbowed him, repeating _his_ question for the fourth time.

_“Hey, did you sell your ears away? Can’t you hear me?”_

“Hmm? What? You are talking to me?”, Xiao Zhan turned his face towards Yibo.

 _“As if there is somebody else besides you and me in this house?”_ , Yibo frowned.

“No, actually I thought you are talking on phone”, Xiao Zhan’s face lacked expression.

 _“What is wrong with you? Yesterday you were fine. Today you are behaving weird”_. Yibo placed the back of _his_ palm against Xiao Zhan’s forehead to check his temperature. The latter immediately stepped back as to avoid _his_ touch.

 _“What happened will you tell me?”_ , Yibo almost yelled at him.

Xiao Zhan did not answer and walked inside, settling himself comfortably into the sofa.

 _“What am I going to do with this five-years-old?”_ , Yibo muttered to himself as _he,_ too, came to sit beside him.

Xiao Zhan did not spare _him_ a glance and continued scrolling on his mobile, absent-mindedly. Yibo took the phone away from his hand and put it aside to draw the elder’s attention back to him.

 _“Will… you… for… God’s sake, give me some response?”_. Yibo waited for an answer while the other person, once again, chose to maintain silence in between them.

Xiao Zhan and his attitude, he could continue like this for the next five hours or ten hours or the whole day, probably the whole of this week, no matter how long, yet he was sure that Yibo would keep sitting beside him forever, continuing to ask him repeatedly about what had happened and why was he not in his mood to talk to _him_. _He_ would do everything to cheer him up and draw his attention towards _himself_. Yibo would never give up on him.

Xiao Zhan knew all of it.

What he did not know was that how could this Yibo, whose days began and end on Xiao Zhan ever since they came here, ignored him as if he never existed, for two long years?

How could this Yibo, whose gazes refused to change their direction every time they were settled on Xiao Zhan, misunderstood him in a way that _he_ was never willing to talk about the past and clear the misunderstandings between them?

Today Xiao Zhan was seeking the answers to these unasked questions. He was determined to make _him_ talk.

Yibo took in a deep breath and stretched _his_ hand to hold the other person’s chin with _his_ curled index finger and forcefully turned his face towards _himself_.

 _“What did I do that you are annoyed with me?”_ , _he_ asked.

“Does that bother you?”

_“Offcourse it does. I can’t stand you not responding to my calls”_

Xiao Zhan’s clenched jaw muscles loosened under Yibo’s touch as his eyes softened.

“Do I trouble you and force you to bear with my naggings?”, Xiao Zhan asked while making an attempt to turn his head away. Yibo did not let him as _he_ kept holding onto his chin and Xiao Zhan had no other option than to look straight into the eyes of the other person.

_“Listen to me carefully, I am with you at this moment, sitting beside you, talking to you only because I wish to do it. This is what I want. No body forced me”_

“What if I had not asked you to reconcile?”, Xiao Zhan asked.

_“Then I would have waited… like I had been waiting… for two years”_

Xiao Zhan widened his eyes. “Waiting for what?”

 _“Waiting for you to approach me again”,_ Yibo blurted out.

It seemed that Xiao Zhan was not the only one who was seeking answers. Someone else, too, was willing to speak today. Enough of keeping everything stacked inside.

Although Yibo had thought, rather _he_ was determined, never to reminisce the past but, as usual, Xiao Zhan had the unthinkable ability to break all of _his_ determinations and boundaries built around _his_ heart in the flash of a moment. Yibo tried to hold _himself_ back but, anyway, his weak heart, without _his_ permission, was starting to give in.

Xiao Zhan did not know what to say. Yibo caressed his jawline with _his_ thumb tip as the other person stared unblinkingly at _him_.

“I thought… I… thought that you would not want me to…”

 _“Yes, you assumed things and stayed back. So, I thought its high time I should go and talk to you first”_ , Yibo tried to smile.

“That means you missed me?”

_“You answer me first”_

“What?”

_“Why are you annoyed with me?”_

Xiao Zhan lowered his head avoiding eye contact with Yibo. Yibo placed _his_ hand on his as _he_ noticed him pressing his knuckles.

_“What did I do that made you angry?”_

“You don’t… don’t call me Zhan-ge anymore”, Xiao Zhan complained.

Yibo’s heart melted as he saw a flicker of sadness cross Xiao Zhan’s eyes when he lifted them to meet _his_ gaze once again.

_“I call you”_

“Only when I do not eat and you have lure me into taking food and medicine and then put me to sleep”, Xiao Zhan pouted.

 _“Me not calling you Zhan-ge bothers you?”_ , Yibo asked.

“Offcourse it does”

_“Why all of a sudden?”_

“Not sudden… you pushing me away feels like every time there is a new hole formed in my life that would never be filled”. Xiao Zhan pushed Yibo’s hand away from him. At an instant, a profound sadness was depicted on the younger face.

“Call me Zhan-ge, like before”, Xiao Zhan demanded while pouting like a child.

Yibo felt a small measure of relief and looked fondly at him, _“If I do, will that please my Zhan-ge?”_

“Yes and…”

_“And what Zhan-ge?”_

“And…”

_“Yes, Zhan-ge”_

“You don’t…”

_“I don’t what Zhan-ge?”_

Yibo observed the change in expressions on Xiao Zhan’s face from sadness to sudden delight, that the elder one was trying to hide under a pretence of annoyance and the younger one got an amused look in his eyes.

“You don’t even…”

_“I don’t even what… Zhan-ge?”_

Xiao Zhan put his palm on Yibo’s mouth shutting him up. “Zhan-ge… zhan-ge… zhan-ge… Stop interrupting me and listen”

Yibo shook _his_ head, lips pressed behind Xiao Zhan’s palm.

“This kind of extra-sweet behaviour of yours will get me diabetes too soon. Why don’t you behave like you used to, before?”

Yibo smiled through lips of a happy face. Xiao Zhan removed his hand from _his_ mouth and observed the twinkling in _his_ eyes, that shone out of his face like sunbeams, travelling to his lips that curled upwards and parted.

He did not know for how long he had been staring at the other person’s curved lips without himself realizing about it, when Yibo’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

_“Like what… Zhan-ge?”_

“Like… like… you used to… like… ****oouuch!**** ”, Xiao Zhan hissed in pain before completing his sentence. Yibo had slapped him quite hard at his arm.

“What the…”, Xiao Zhan shouted.

 _“Fuck?”_ , Yibo laughed and hit him once more.

“Again… again… keep those filthy hands away from me”, Xiao Zhan moved back.

****Yibo smiled evilly as he climbed on the sofa and leaned over the other person pinning him against the hand rest of the seat.** **

****Xiao Zhan’s knitted eyebrows expressing gloominess was now replaced by an exceptional glow indicating a pleasing smile as his lips stretched across his face with its corners rising up, happiness was being reflected from his eyes too.** **

****Yibo tactically placed _his_ hands on both sides of the elder’s body and after a while _his_ fingers slowly started to travel under the hem of Xiao Zhan’s T-shirt to touch the bare skin of his waist and tickled him there, gently.** **

“Ahhh… NO”, Xiao Zhan struggled to get up, laughing out loud.

****Yibo brought one of _his_ hands from under his shirt and held his shoulder, keeping him pressed on the sofa, blocking him from moving.** **

“YI…BO… NO…”, Xiao Zhan laughed some more as Yibo continued tickling him.

 _“You thought I forgot which part of your form is the most sensitive?”_. ****Yibo’s fingers moved gently across the skin of the person lying beneath _him_ , laughing loudly, struggling to throw his feet in the air.****

 _“How do you feel here?”_ , ****Yibo placed his palm on Xiao Zhan’s body beneath his chest and tenderly caressed him all over, searching for something.****

****Xiao Zhan’s heart plunged into the depths of his stomach at this never-felt-before proximity with Yibo, blood rushing through his veins thinking about who knew what was coming next.** **

****His breath was caught between his throat when Yibo’s slender fingers drew patterns on his skin around his abdomen. While traveling down, _his_ forefinger tip met the thin hairline, starting from the bottom of Xiao Zhan’s navel**** ****and continuing upto who-knew-where.****

****Yibo tickled him on the belly button and Xiao Zhan giggled. Yibo smirked and as the elder’s laughter was replaced by a gasp when the younger one quickly replaced _his_ index finger with _his_ thumb tip and let it travel slowly along the hairline until _his_ finger reached the brim of the elastic of Xiao Zhan’s trouser.** **

_“You, stupid… why are you holding your breath?”_ , Yibo took _his_ hand away from under Xiao Zhan’s shirt and moved back.

“Do you know that you are an annoying brat?”, letting go of the breath and restraining his loud giggles to inhale some air, Xiao Zhan looked at Yibo, hiding the disappointment that was filling inside his heart as the warmth was lost from above him.

 _“Irking you is fun”_ , Yibo said smilingly while helping Xiao Zhan get up and sit properly.

Both remained quiet for a while, staring unblinkingly into each other’s eyes. Xiao Zhan’s heart was thumping loudly inside his chest but he felt good. He felt happy… he did not know why there was such an unusual feeling of nervousness, tension and excitement, all together, mixed up inside his body.

“Please do me this favour, Yibo”, Xiao Zhan said after a while.

 _“What?”_ , Yibo asked confused.

“If it’s you then I don’t mind being bothered at all. Promise me that you will always annoy me”

_“I promise to irritate you forever, Xiao… ermmm, Zhan-gege-gege-gege”_

Xiao Zhan closed his fist and hit the shoulder of the person sitting beside that resulted in him becoming a victim of three continuous return-hits from the younger one and both of them once again broke into a series of loud laughter.

“Wang Yibo”, Xiao Zhan said just for the sake to take _his_ name.

 _“Mn”_. Yibo had, somehow, sensed the sorrow in the voice that called out to _him_.

“Bo-di”

_“Zhan-ge”_

“DiDi”

_“GeGe”_

“Bo”

_“Ge”_

Xiao Zhan sighed before speaking again. “I want to talk about something. Will you listen to me?”

 _“Sure… say”_ , Yibo held his hand waiting for him to bring the topic that he wanted to discuss over.

Xiao Zhan entwined their fingers and held onto _him_ firmly before he got down on his knees in front of Yibo on the floor and looked up to meet _his_ eyes.

 _“What are you doing? Get up… get up”_ , Yibo, at once, tried pulling him by his shoulders.

Xiao Zhan refused and settled his free hand on Yibo’s lap. “I will get up but before that listen to me first”

_“What?”_

“I am sorry”

_“Oh! I already said whatever I did or am doing… all because I want to do them at my own wish. You don’t have to be sorry because our friendship is my great delight and no burden at all”_

“Not that… I want to talk about something else and when I will start talking, you are going to keep that non-stop moving buffalo-mouth of yours shut”

 _“Buffalo… me? Zhan-ge”_ , Yibo faked an anger.

“You are not going to speak after this, is that clear?”

Yibo concentrated into Xiao Zhan’s eyes and decided to listen to him and nodded.

“I don’t want you to have any regret, any sadness buried inside your heart. So, I want to apologize to you”, Xiao Zhan paused for a moment before adding, “What I am going to tell you is no joke and I am very serious about it. I want to talk and you will not stop me”

****Yibo recognized this voice. It was not the usual _‘Zhan-ge-is-yours-and-you-can-do-whatever-you-want’_ , rather one of the rarest _‘Zhan-ge-wants-you-to-obey-and-you-better-not-try-to-mess-up’_ tone.** **

Yibo obediently nodded at him.

“I am sorry for not letting you know what the people around me, during Chen-Qing-Ling days, were discussing about you behind your back”

 _“It’s okay. Let’s not bring the past…”_ , Yibo tried to change the topic.

“No. I want to bring it. I want to explain to you. You were hurt, I was hurt too. You took care of my wounds. Let me soothe your burns too”

_“Zhan-ge. It has been a long time and I don’t remem…”_

“You remember everything, I know”

_“No, I forgot about the past”_

“Is that why this house is exactly the same just as I had left it two years before? The curtains, the Music Player, those showpieces and even the flower pot is kept untouched, right at the place where I had kept them”

Yibo stayed silent.

“Whatever the people told me, they were their thoughts and not mine. I did not tell you because I did not want to worry you. They may tell me anything anytime since all of them were in good talking terms with me but that does not mean that I will do what they ask me to do. I do what I want to do”

 _“What do you want?”_ , Yibo asked.

“Your company”, came the unhesitant reply, “and that too for ever”.

Reminiscing the old days and discussing about the incident, whose memories had always pained Yibo so much in the softest corner of _his_ heart, that _his_ eyes brimmed with tears while talking about it again. _He_ parted _his_ lips to say something but _his_ voice died down in his throat.

Xiao Zhan’s hand lifted to brush away the lone drop before they could travel all the way down Yibo’s cheek.

“I know this bothers you and I want to clear this mess now, immediately and right at this moment. We are already late. Don’t you think that my Bo-di should know how much Zhan-ge care about _him_ and missed _him_ just as much as _he_ did?”

More tears escaped Yibo’s eyes and Xiao Zhan continued wiping them away.

“Our agencies asked me to put up an act of friendship in front of you and after that push you away from me”

 _“Stop… don’t say anything after this”_ , Yibo managed to say in _his_ hoarse voice.

“Do you really want me to stop?”

Yibo shook _his_ head in negation.

“I did not fake my friendship with you. I like you so much, too much that it’s impossible to call anybody my dearest, my closest, my treasure if not you. Besides you there is no one who I want to keep my relation with forever. Whatever they said do not matter. What I want matters to me and all I want is my Bo to stop being sad assuming that Zhan-ge played with his feelings”

_“You are being serious, right Zhan-ge?”_

****“I am… Chen-Qing-Ling happened. It ended. What it left behind for me was a breakthrough in my career in this industry. It gave us name and fame to an extent that neither of us had ever imagined. But there is one more thing our A-Ling left for me… my clingy puppy”** **

Yibo glanced at Xiao Zhan for a short moment before tearing _his_ wet gaze away from his face, looking down.

To be continued…


	10. Let Me Ease Your Pain [2]

Yibo looked at Xiao Zhan for a short moment before tearing _his_ wet gaze away from his face, looking down.

_“You do not have to do this”_

“I have to. Tell me the truth Yibo. Did it not hurt you thinking that I do not care about you?”

 _“No”_ , the younger’s voice was heavy.

“Liar”

_“I don’t care about the past anymore”_

“Is that why these precious drops are refusing to stop flowing from my puppy’s pair of pearl eyes?”. Xiao Zhan held Yibo’s face in between his palms and pulled _him_ forwards while brushing his thumbs over _his_ wet eyelids and wiped _his_ tear stained cheeks with the sleeves of his own shirt.

“I want to clear the misunderstandings with you. You are my dearest and I can never afford to lose”

_“Zhan-ge”_

“Do you believe me, Yibo?”

_“I do”_

“You took so much care of me. You are willing to do more. I too want to do everything for you just, not because anyone told me to do but because you are my family. I want to take care of my family”

Yibo did not say anything. _He_ did not see this coming. Zhan-ge was putting much efforts which were intended to bridge the differences in between them so that Yibo’s distressed mind could be pacified.

Yibo knew he was important for the other, yet _his_ soul swelled and cried at the thoughts that Zhan-ge admitted to have never played with _his_ feelings. He had always cherished Yibo. _He_ could not believe that _he_ deserved to be treasured like this by the person who _he_ had always treasured the most.

 _He_ wore a sheepish and sad grin on _his_ weary face, remembering the unforgettable past, the moment when _he_ had let _his_ soul stand naked in front of _his_ beloved, confessing _his_ love to him and in return _his_ feelings were rejected. Xiao Zhan had straightaway said that he did not and could not love Yibo the way the younger one did.

Yibo looked down at the floor in shame. _He_ wanted to bury _his_ head in the sand. How could _he_ take back _his_ words that _he_ had once said? Xiao Zhan knew Yibo loved him.

How embarrassing it was for Yibo to have admitted _his_ emotion and got denied immediately!

No, no, no… Zhan-ge could do anything for _him_ but not what _he_ wanted. Zhan-ge could give him all the happiness in the world, that he never asked for, but not the love that his heart was seeking.

 _“Zhan-ge, I am sorry too”_ , Yibo finally said.

“For what?”

_“For being so stubborn and hurting you and for…”_

“For?”

_“… saying those that I should not have said. I believe you. You too believe me please. I did not want to burden my feelings on you…”_

Before Yibo could finish, Xiao Zhan interrupted _him_ as he stood up and sat beside _him_ , putting his arm across _his_ shoulder and pulling _him_ closer in a side hug. “Hey, what are you saying?”

_“I did not want to be annoying to you Zhan-ge. I should not have said that”_

“Said what?”

 _“I love you”_. Yibo was so embarrassed that _he_ wanted to run away from there but _his_ Zhan-ge’s strong arms around _him_ did not let him move and _he_ stayed caged in the embrace.

“You can never annoy me”

_“I thought you would find it uneasy. I loved you but you did not and that would really be so much irritating for you to see me around and…”_

Yibo hid _his_ face behind _his_ palms and quietly sobbed as Xiao Zhan cut _his_ words again, “Not at all annoying. We both cherish each other. Why do you assume these stupid things, huh?”

Xiao Zhan patted Yibo shoulder while keeping _him_ in his hug. Yibo did not struggle to move away but _he_ did not hug him back either.

“Whatever you said, it’s okay. I did not mind. Did I ever judge you for anything? I will never judge you”, Xiao Zhan assured.

Yibo removed _his_ palms off _his_ face and looked at Xiao Zhan. Unable to think of anything else to justify _his_ embarrassing past act, he suddenly blurted out, ****_“But it’s not there anymore. Those were in the past. I really don’t feel that way… the things that I had said. I mean, I like you even now… but there is nothing else. I do not… do not… do not think of you the same. You are only a friend to me”_****

Yibo lied. He was deceiving who – the elder one or himself, he did not know.

Xiao Zhan kept staring at _him_ wordlessly. Who knew what he heard that suddenly robbed him off his willingness to talk? His heart slowly sank in him and it occurred to him that Yibo should not have said _this_.

 _‘This’_ referred to what, Xiao Zhan did not know. He stayed quiet, holding Yibo more firmly. Who knew what thought crossed his mind that now he was more unwilling to let go of _this_? _‘This’_ was referring to what, Xiao Zhan had no idea about.

“Yibo”, Xiao Zhan called after they both had calmed each other down by discussing and clearing all of the misunderstandings that had created long years of distance in between them.

The atmosphere inside the room gradually became warmer.

Xiao Zhan thought that Yibo was happy because he could finally convince _him_ of his genuine care and concern for _him_. Yibo thought that Xiao Zhan was happy since they finally talked about the past that the elder was wanting to do since a long time, though no one could say with certainty that they themselves were actually happier than before.

They had expected contentment to finally come to them, embracing them while they embrace each other but who knew that an unknown agitation would come instead and give rise to an unexplainable distress inside their minds.

 _“Mn”_ , Yibo responded to Xiao Zhan.

“Go and take a shower. I will cut the remaining fruits”

Yibo got up and took a step ahead when Xiao Zhan, all of a sudden, pulled _him_ from behind. Yibo turned around and crashed against the other’s chest.

“Yibo”

The younger one wondered for a moment if _he_ was hallucinating but as the arms that were wrapped around _his_ form tightened with their owner placing his own head on Yibo’s shoulder, the latter one realized that the embrace was real.

Yibo, at once, clasped Xiao Zhan so tight that they were nearly one person.

 _“Mn”_ , _he_ mumbled against Xiao Zhan’s neck.

“Thank you”

_“Thanks to you too”_

“Yibo”

_“Mn”_

****“The one that you love now, does that person love you back?”****. Before Yibo could respond, Xiao Zhan added, ****“I hope Yes. You must be loved a lot”**** , and then his lips curled into a faint smile, attempting to hide the silent, unknown storm rising inside his heart that aimed at shattering the remnant of his long-lost peace.

Yibo did not know how to respond. He kept quiet, wondering why was Xiao Zhan asking this.

“Who do you love, Yibo?”, the question repeated itself.

_“Ummm… for now, I am having my relationship with two, at a time, haha - my darling skateboard and better-half motorbike”, he giggled._

“Hmmm”, the voice that replied sounded dejected.

Yibo broke the hug to look into the other person’s eyes. _He_ was not sure whether what _he_ just saw, crossing Xiao Zhan’s face, was sadness or exhaustion or… was he disappointed because Yibo had said that _he_ no-more…

No! that could not be. Why would Xiao Zhan be bothered about _his_ feelings? It was impossible that one fine day, out of the blue, that _his_ beloved would mind _him_ loving somebody else.

“Go, take your shower”, the elder one ruffled the younger’s hairs affectionately.

Yibo sighed and turned back to walk away when Xiao Zhan, playfully, extended his hand and slapped _him_ at _his_ bottom. Yibo immediately returned the hit twice and ran towards the bathroom.

“That’s not fair, Bo. I hit you once”. _He_ heard Xiao Zhan’s voice behind _him_.

 _“1:2, that’s our normal hit-hit ratio”_ , Yibo too shouted, making himself audible.

“You vexing monster”, Xiao Zhan, lovingly, cursed and Yibo laughed loudly as _he_ entered the bathroom and closed the door behind _him_.

Leaning on it, _he_ waited for _his_ breath to even out and then put _his_ palm on _his_ chest.

“Slow down dude, slow down. Don’t be stupid. You have, with great efforts, gathered your shits and signed up for this. You had promised yourself not to break down, remember?”

 _He_ took in a deep breath and turned on the shower and the tap to hide the sound of the shuddering heaves of the sobs that had already started to escape _his_ lips.

“It’s okay. He needs me”, Yibo tried explaining to himself. “I already knew this was going to be the consequence. Sooner or later he would, anyway, manage to find his way back into my life. Inspite of that, my achy heart willingly went to him to help and in the process got burnt some more”.

 _He_ pitifully smiled to himself and tapped the left side of his chest, again, with his fingers. “Now that it’s paining again, just keep quiet and bear. He is okay, he is doing fine, he is happy and that is the medicine for your pain, you fool”.

Yibo’s lips quivered and more hot tears streamed down his face, failing all his attempts to gulp down the torment of his throbbing heart.

****“I still love you. I do not know why is it so difficult to let go… do not know how to keep this heart from wanting you. It hurts. Zhan-ge hurts too much. He does not even understand”** **

****

On the other hand, Xiao Zhan was inattentively cutting the fruits with the knife but his eyes were focused on the place where Yibo was sitting a while ago, which was now empty.

 ** **“You said you loved me but you don’t do it anymore? May be because you found someone who is better than me. Someone who loves you, something which I was incapable of doing. Does this make me unworthy of your… your love?”**** , he wore the look of one who was gnawed with envy, ****"Off-course, why not? Everybody will wish to love and be loved in return"****

****** **

Early in the morning Xiao Zhan was irritated. It was no more early morning though but whatever time it was, the presence of Qui Ying inside Yibo’s apartment displeased him as soon as he woke up. He lost his appetite and was, now, not in his slightest mood to have breakfast.

Xiao Zhan respected woman. He was genuine, sweet and well-mannered from the bottom of his heart but that did not mean he would not be angered when someone would barge into Yibo’s apartment, without informing before, and make herself comfortable, especially at a time when the owner of the apartment was not at home?

Waking up from sleep, when Xiao Zhan came into the living area, his gaze wandered around to meet those pairs, he was in the habit of seeing everyday, ever since they came to this place - those soft and shining eyes that would keep the morning cup of tea ready for him while greeting him.

To his great disappointment, Yibo was not there. Instead Qui Ying was lying on the sofa with a mug of coffee and biscuits, as she was changing the channels on the TV.

Looking at Xiao Zhan, she flashed at him a big smile.

“Good morning. Just now I saw you on TV in an advertisement and the man himself woke up right after”

“Good morning”, Xiao Zhan greeted back and walked towards the kitchen to look for the person he wanted to see right away.

“Please sit down. I will make coffee for you”, Qui Ying called him from behind.

“No thanks”, Xiao Zhan smiled politely.

Qui Ying came into the kitchen.

“Yibo is not here. He asked me to make you breakfast. But before that let me prepare a cup of coffee for you”, she said.

“What? Not here… Yibo?”, Xiao Zhan was surprised and clearly not happy.

“His manager and agency’s president flew to this city yesterday night and wanted to meet him urgently. They were coming here but he somehow managed to convince them to meet him at a hotel near the airport”

“Why?”

“Because you are here. He did not want to disturb your sleep and also not let anyone know that you are on a holiday with him”

“Oh, I understand”, he nodded.

“Please go and sit. I will bring coffee for you”, Qui Ying said.

“No. I prefer tea and I will prepare it myself”, Xiao Zhan, at once, took the pan from her hand.

“Why? I can make it for you”

“Actually, I want to do it today”, Xiao Zhan smiled back but sounded determined.

Qui Ying left the kitchen without another word.

An hour later, Xiao Zhan was sitting on the sofa, his eyes focused on the news channel, although not a single thing was reaching his ears and mind. His shifted his attention on Qui Ying who walking around in the living room with a mop in her hands, cleaning the floor.

“I told Yibo earlier to ask his maid to come and clean the apartment but he was so concerned about keeping you away from any public attention that he did not let anyone know that you are coming here except for the security guards of this building”, Qui Ying said.

“You don’t have to do the cleaning”

“Let me do it. Yibo will be late and he will be tired. Also, I don’t have any other work to do”

“When did you come?”, Xiao Zhan asked her.

“An hour before you woke up. Yibo left earlier. He called me and asked me to come and check on you and stay here till he returns”

“Who opened the door for you?”

“No-one. I know the password to this door lock”

Xiao Zhan kept looking at Qui Ying. Honestly, he was not pleased to see her inside the house. Not because he was unacquainted with her but because Yibo knew her too well and she knew Yibo more than what was needed.

Xiao Zhan wondered how did Qui Ying know the door lock code of Yibo’s house. The younger was never in the habit of letting anyone into his personal space except for his parents and Xiao Zhan.

Moreover, she was getting into the kitchen, preparing food and roaming around in this house as if she had been to this place uncountable times and was familiar with every corner of it.

Xiao Zhan did not like it. He was irritated, rather it saddened him so much to see that someone, other than the two of them, had the rights to come to this place anytime she wished to and do whatever she wanted to.

Xiao Zhan silently kept observing her. Qui Ying knew where the mop was kept and also the floor cleaning disinfectant, dust cleaning slippers and everything else which Xiao Zhan was not aware of.

When the milkman came to deliver the packets of milk, he too behaved so casual as if it was very natural for him to see her, in place of Yibo, opening the door for him.

“Do you come here often?”, Xiao Zhan finally asked.

“Yes, almost regular… whenever Yibo comes”

“Why?”

“I come to see him. He cannot go to my place because my neighbours go crazy after the nation’s heart-throb Wang Yibo. So, I often come here and stay”

“You stay?”, Xiao Zhan was surprised.

“Offcourse. When Yibo comes here I literally forget which is my actual home, the place where I live the rest of the days or this”, she laughed.

Xiao Zhan let out a deep sigh and chose not to continue further with the conversation.

“I am feeling sleepy. Excuse me”, he said.

Qui Ying nodded and he walked towards his bedroom.

Locking the door from inside, he sat down on the bed and dialed Yibo's number.

The younger person received the call.

_“Hello”_

“Who is your bestfriend… Qui Ying or me?”

_“Heeinn? … you… are awake. What happened?”_

“Stop avoiding my question and tell me”, Xiao Zhan annoyingly demanded an answer.

_“You”_

“Who do you love more… Qui Ying or me?”

_“What?”_

“Answer me fast… I am waiting”

Yibo replied after a few seconds of pause. _“You are only my friend. I do not bear those feelings of love for you… not… not anymore”_

To be continued…


	11. Sentiment Born In Love

“Who do you love more… Qui Ying or me?”

_“What?”_

“Answer me fast… I am waiting”

Yibo replied after a few seconds of pause. _“You are only my friend. I do not bear those feelings of love for you… not… not anymore”_

Xiao Zhan did not know what to say next. His already soured mood ruined more at those words. ‘Did I ask whether he loves me or not? Okay, I asked him but what does he mean by those feelings are not there anymore?’, Xiao Zhan’s mind supplied with rage.

“I don’t want to know who you love and in what way. You dislike me, that’s what you want to say, isn’t it?”, he snapped at Yibo.

 _“Are you okay?”_ , Yibo sounded concerned.

“Why… if I am okay, can’t I call you?”, Xiao Zhan snapped at _him_ once again out of temper.

_“What happened?”_

“Nothing happened except that I don’t want to talk to you”

 _“You are already talking to me, Zhan-ge”_ , Yibo chuckled softly.

“Because I am a fool. I am stupid, is that what you want to say?”

_“Zhan-ge, neither did I mean anything nor did I say anything. You are saying and I am listening to you”_

“Shut up… shut up, don’t call me Zhan-ge anymore”, Xiao Zhan was irritated and furious with Yibo or himself, he did not understand.

 _“Awww, this tall baby has gotten angry today”_. Hearing Yibo’s soft giggles on the line, Xiao Zhan did not want to yell at him again.

 _“Why did you call me Zhan-ge?”_ , Yibo asked.

“Don’t I have the right to call you? Everybody has their rights on you and on your belongings, except me… why is that?”, Xiao Zhan complained.

Yibo could almost feel Xiao Zhan’s frown, hearing his voice on the call. _He_ laughed fondly. _“You too have your rights on my belongings. Whatever you need take them from the cupboard”_

“What I need is not in your house”

_“Okay, I will buy for you on my way back home. Tell me what does this 6 feet baby whining about?”_

“That is not available in stores. I need an answer”

_“May I hear your question?”_

“Tell me something… in these two years, did you totally forget me? You did not remember me at all… not even once?”

Yibo was surprised at the question. _His_ manager and agency’s CEO were sitting in the other room, waiting for _him_ to return so that they could continue discussing over the topic for which they flew to this place. Seeing Xiao Zhan’s name displayed on _his_ phone screen, Yibo got worried and hurriedly excused _himself_ to receive his call.

Xiao Zhan’s childish voice that immediately started to argue as soon as _he_ said _‘Hello’_ on the call almost convinced Yibo that the other one was doing fine but might not be in his best of mood.

Yet _he_ did not see this question coming.

Xiao Zhan asking Yibo whether _he_ forgot him or not? If only anyone could teach _him_ the ways to unlove a person, the one he had once truly loved, loved to the core, loved to the extent that _his_ whole existence depended solely on the presence of this very person around.

In a room full of hundred people, the only one who had the ability to attract Yibo like a magnet, the one who had the unthinkable capability to have every bit of Yibo’s attention only to himself, the one Yibo had fallen in love with for the first time in _his_ life, the one who did not love _him_ back, the one because of who Yibo had distanced _himself_ not only from the subject of _his_ regular thoughts that _his_ heart could think of but from every other thing that was related to him.

That Xiao Zhan was asking _him_ if _he_ remembered him even once in all these years?

_“Why do you ask?”_

“Why did you never invite me to come here to your house? I wanted to come but I could not”

Yibo sighed. _“You may visit me whenever you wish to”_

“But others cannot”, Xiao Zhan sounded annoyed.

_“What?”_

“No-one can come to visit you”

The apartment, which partly belonged to him, too, ever since Yibo shifted here back in 2019, was the house he had his rights over, just the same as Yibo’s, the same place that Xiao Zhan had missed so much and wanted to come over but never had an opportunity to do in the past two years, now had someone else coming and going anytime with no body to put any restrictions on her. Xiao Zhan hated to see that.

_“What happened, Zhan-ge? What’s wrong?”_

****“This is my house too”**** , Xiao Zhan claimed.

 ** ** _“Offcourse, your house too”_**** _._ No-one knew, better than Yibo, how to pacify the agitated mind of the elder person at an instant. ****_“Do you even need my permission to come here? In these two years, you still had the original keys to this apartment. What I have are the duplicate ones. You could have come anytime. I know we were not in talking terms but I would have surely never raised an objection. Why would I? Everything here belongs to you more than they belong to me”_****

****“Are you saying the truth?”** **

****_“Yes, I am. Otherwise why do you still have all the original keys and door lock passwords of all of my apartments?”_ ** **

Xiao Zhan took a long pause. Yibo sensed that he had, gradually, calmed down enough.

****“You too have the original keys to my houses and even my bank accounts’ PIN codes. I never changed anything”** **

It was now Yibo’s turn to fall silent for a while and _he_ surprisingly thought to himself, _‘Why did Zhan-ge never change anything if he does not… does not…’_

“Yibo… Sorry”. Xiao Zhan’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

_“Zhan-ge, now tell me why are you angry with me?”_

“I am not”

 _“C’mon blurt it out”_ , Yibo asked again.

“Why does Qui Ying come and go whenever she wants to?”, he demanded an answer.

 _“Qui Ying… she? What happened with her?”_. Yibo did not understand why was Xiao Zhan, all of a sudden, concerned about her.

“Answer me first”

_“I can’t go to see her because whenever I am here, I am mostly without security. I need to be careful and so I don’t go out unless it’s too urgent”_

“Rubbish… You are careless”, Xiao Zhan muttered.

 _“Seems like Zhan-ge is not at all in a good mood today. Is your stomach empty? Go and grab your breakfast”_ , Yibo suggested to lift up Xiao Zhan’s spirits which the other person completely ignored and asked his next question annoyingly, “She knows everything about you, how?”

Yibo sighed. To calm the disturbed person down, he smilingly and patiently replied, _“Because it’s almost two years that we became friends and we interact with each other quite often. That is why she knows me”_

“But I don’t like her coming here and making herself feel at home and… and… I know you more”

Yibo laughed. _“Offcourse, you know me more”_

Seemed like Xiao Zhan was still not satisfied with their conversation. He felt like not getting answers to his queries in the way he wanted to. Yibo knew more questions would be coming for _him_. So, _he_ kept holding _his_ phone pressed to _his_ ears, completing forgetting the discussions that was previously going with the two guests sitting in the other room.

What would Yibo do? _He_ felt helpless. The person on the other side of the call meant so much for _him_. No matter how much it would hurt _him_ but he had sworn that in search of self-peace _he_ would never again do anything that would emotionally break Xiao Zhan down.

Yibo was ready to be the dying embers of the fire but _he_ would still be the phoenix to rise from _his_ own ashes and keep the broken pieces of _his_ heart together for the other’s person’s sake. Afterall, even after all these times, Xiao Zhan was more important to _him_ than any other thing.

_“What is it that is still troubling you?”_ , Yibo asked.

“I know you more than Qui Ying does”, Xiao Zhan almost mumbled to himself.

Yibo chuckled again, trying to lighten the mood but somewhere in _his_ heart it pained _him_ for certain unknown reasons. _He_ had many questions, which _he_ , on obvious grounds, kept to himself and never asked.

Why did it matter to Xiao Zhan even if Qui Ying knew much about _him_? Qui Ying and TaiYu were both very special to _him_ , very close, rather the closest people of _his_ life who were always there to help _him_ in any sort of distress.

Yibo had never let anyone, after _his_ Zhan-ge, see the bare mind of _his_ , _his_ naked intent. Xiao Zhan knew _him_ more than _he_ himself did and there was no-one, not even Qui Ying, who knew the real Wang Yibo better than _his_ Zhan-ge, Yibo could not deny the fact but even if there was someone closer to Yibo than him, it should not have bothered Xiao Zhan so much.

‘Why is he asking so many questions… sounding like he is possessive of his rights on me’, Yibo wondered.

****Neither of them understood the other person’s feelings.** **

****Stupid… Fools in love… aren’t they?** **

****

_“Offcourse Zhan-ge, I already admitted that you know me more than others”_

Xiao Zhan fell unnaturally silent for a few seconds before he asked, “Yibo… do you like… I mean, in that way… is she… do you like Qui Ying?”

 _“Huh? What? …… no, no… her and me? … no way”_ , Yibo laughed out loud.

“Then why does she stay here at night?”

Why did it matter to Xiao Zhan even if Qui Ying stayed with him at his place?

_“Zhan-ge, Zhan-ge, I need to go… They are looking for me. I am seriously on this call for a long time. I promise to finish this soon and return in a short time okay”_

“Okay”, Xiao Zhan did not argue further.

 _“Bye”_ and Yibo disconnected the call.

Xiao Zhan laid on the bed and tried surfing the internet for a while to distract himself from the trail of thoughts that were doing nothing but gradually robbing him off his inner peace of mind. Failing miserably, his heart once again went to seek something that would calm him down.

He opened his phone’s gallery, looking for the folder that contained their two years old videos and pictures which he could never delete from the device.

Smiling to himself, he opened one picture and stared at it satisfactorily for a while before moving on to the next picture. He remembered how the other person used to fight with him for his clothes and forcefully wore them often.

Xiao Zhan’s eyes stuck at one picture that he had downloaded from the internet long time ago. Yibo at the airport, face mostly covered with mask and a hat and _he_ was wearing _his_ Zhan-ge’s oversized T shirt and pant. The sleeves of the shirt were so long that both the hands of Yibo could fit inside one of them. The length of the pant was longer than what would fit Yibo’s legs and _his_ unsuccessful attempt to fold the edges and make it appear to be of _his_ size, could easily be understood.

Xiao Zhan, being the taller one, Yibo knew his clothes would never fit _him_ , yet _he_ would fight with him almost daily in order to get hands on them.

Xiao Zhan, at first, had tried to explain that the oversized clothes would cause _him_ discomfort. People around would take _his_ pictures wherever _he_ would go so it would be better to look proper and wear attractive fitting clothes but after a while Xiao Zhan had given up.

Yibo, seemed to have been on cloud 9 the moment the elder one had surrendered to _his_ naggings and had announced, ****“You are obsessed with my clothes and I cannot hold you back. So, I am backing away from trying to explain and handing over the keys of my wardrobe to you”****

Yibo had jumped into his arms, _****“Thank you my koochie-poochie bunny”****_

He had pushed _him_ away and had scolded in a tone of fake displeasure, ****“Take whatever you want, whenever you want. Stop infuriating me, you foolish brat”.****

Xiao Zhan could not help but remember how he too got fascinated with wearing Yibo’s clothes. Yibo’s smell used to linger on him whenever he wore _his_ clothes and gradually Xiao Zhan proved to be one step ahead of Yibo when it came to obsession on clothes.

He used to fight and nag with Yibo more than anything else over shoes. If Yibo was in love with wearing clothes that belonged to _his_ Zhan-ge, his Zhan-ge was in love with wearing the younger one’s clothes, shoes, hats, belts and even used his bags and took _his_ headphones and mobile covers.

Xiao Zhan was lost in his thoughts when an SMS popped up on his screen.

_****“Don’t frown much. Smile and take your food” – Yibo.** ** _

He smiled and immediately typed back ****“Seeing your noodle arms, those that were under my oversized shirts, from those 2018-19 days, my mood automatically improved. LOL” - Xiao Zhan****.

 _ ** **“Annoying 6 feet toddler… You better keep sulking”- Yibo**** , _came the response.

****“What about me trying your clothes, once again, today?” – Xiao Zhan.** **

****_“As if you never did that before. You used to be hungrier for my clothes than I was for yours, even if they were tight on you”_ _\- Yibo._** **

Xiao Zhan smiled looking at the newly arrived SMS.

 ** **“Shall I try then? What say?” – Xiao Zhan**** , he pressed the sent button.

 _ ** **“Go ahead” – Yibo.****_ The response, that he expected, came.

Xiao Zhan jumped up from the bed and walked outside. Qui Ying might had said something addressing him, probably asking for breakfast. He did not hear her and rushed to the other room. Yibo had shifted his clothes from his bedroom’s wardrobe to the other one, making space for Xiao Zhan to keep his belongings.

Opening the doors of the cupboard, Xiao Zhan’s eyes beamed with happiness and excitement. His hands kept caressing Yibo’s clothes and after a minute he pulled out a white jacket and put it on himself.

Yibo’s scent filled in his lungs, providing him with immense warmth, the homely feeling that he was deeply in love and need of.

Now his eyes looked for a pair of suitable track pants. He kept looking at the clothes hanging in front of him when his eyes landed at a corner.

There was a pair of ladies’ tops and two jeans, a short skirt and… pink and white inner wears.

Xiao Zhan froze at the spot where he was standing. Slowly he lifted his hands and pulled out the black jeans to check. No sooner did he take the pant in his hand than a few items fell on the floor beneath him.

Xiao Zhan looked down. Lipsticks and a lady’s bracelet, a foundation cream and a set of blue stoned earrings.

He was too shocked. He almost turned to stone and could not move.

“You lied… you lied to me”, he mumbled as fresh water accumulated in the corner of his eyes blurring his vision.

To be continued…


	12. Sustenance of Hearts [1]

"Who is the girl whose dresses are inside your cupboard?". Knitting his brows and in a full mood to make inquiries, Xiao Zhan had asked Yibo.

With Qui Ying gone, to his great relief, Xiao Zhan once again found himself alone with Yibo inside their apartment. The younger one had settled himself into the sofa while elder one, sitting on a beanbag at a distance, looked over at _him_ with a serious expression on his face.

Yibo ignored him and continued talking about the new movie script that _his_ agency wanted _him_ to sign for.

"Yibo, I asked who is she? Why does your closet have ladies' outfits? You never told me that a girl has been staying at your place?", Xiao Zhan demanded an answer.

 _"Girl?"_. Raising _his_ eyebrows, Yibo looked at the obvious displeased face of Xiao Zhan.

"Inside your cupboard... clothes... jeans, skirt, lipsticks, earrings..."

_"Oh those"_

"Yes those"

 _"They are Qui Ying's"_ , Yibo replied and closed _his_ eyes, while stretching himself and lying down on the sofa.

"What are they doing here in your room?", came the second question.

Yibo turned _his_ head to catch _his_ favorite pair of eyes already fixed on _him_. _"She must have forgotten to take them home. The last night she had spent here... I don't exactly remember when. Oh, I think I had a party here in Beijing, seven months before... probably the Single's Night Party and I had to drink a bit. You know my tolerance of alcohol is not so great. I got drunk and then she came here and..."_

"Okay, STOP", Xiao Zhan put his hands over his ears.

_"What happened?"_

Xiao Zhan kept quiet.

 _"Zhan-ge... come here"_ , Yibo stretched out _his_ hand, motioning Xiao Zhan to come and sit closer to _him_. The other person obediently dragged his beanbag closer to the place where Yibo was lying. The younger caught his fingers in between _his_ own and held onto them firmly.

Turning on his side to face Xiao Zhan, Yibo tried to explain, _"There is no girl. This apartment belongs to just you and me. Qui Ying used to come and spend nights here but those are in the past"_.

The confusion regarding his own feelings had already robbed the elder one off his sanity and he assumed who-knew-what, about the 'past', that his face darkened.

"What was there in the past?", he asked.

 _"Nothing of a big concern. I will tell you later. You look at me and show me your big smile first"_ , Yibo lifted _his_ other hand up to touch his face, fondly, and Xiao Zhan involuntarily bent down towards the warmth that was waiting for him.

 _"Why is there gloominess spread across this beautiful face?"_ , Yibo stroked his cheek.

"I... I... Yibo?"

_"Yes, I am listening. Share with me"_

"Suppose... suppose, I want something but... but that thing is with someone else, then will it be unnatural for me to be sad?", the elder one stupidly asked.

Hearing the question, Yibo lifted the upper half of his body off the sofa to look closely at him. _"What is it that you want?"_

"I don't know. I mean I am not sure"

_"I may help you. Tell me what is it that you want. I will get it for you"_

"Will you?"

 _"Yes"_ , Yibo reassured.

"But first you tell me how to get back the thing, that is mine, by my own"

Yibo laughed softly. _"If it is yours and you love it dearly, then why did you allow somebody else to take it away in the first place?"_

"Love... love? I don't love it"

_"You don't?"_

"No", Xiao Zhan's voice was barely audible as he responded.

 _"Then why are you sulking like a devasted lover over something that you don't love?"_ , Yibo pinched the elder's nose with affection.

"Is it necessary to love something only because I want it?", Xiao Zhan asked innocently.

_"Offcourse, we want something because we love it, isn't it? Zhan-ge, for God's sake you are a big man. C'mon!! Can't you figure out by yourself what you want?"_

"So, if I don't love it, I should not be needing it?"

_"No. Give it to them who are in need of it, who will love and cherish it more than you will ever do and you better keep waiting for something that can make you realize your desires"_

Xiao Zhan kept staring blankly at Yibo as the latter one continued. _"What do you want, Zhan-ge?"_

Before Xiao Zhan could answer and take the conversation further, Yibo's mobile started ringing, disturbing the evening silence of the house. _He_ picked up _his_ mobile from the table in front. Xiao Zhan could not keep himself from peeping into the screen.

**Qui Ying!!**

_"Hello Sweetheart"_ , Yibo beamed a warm smile.

Xiao Zhan kept sitting there like a statue, his head hung low while quietly listening to their conversations with an expressionless face.

 _"Shut up, you silly girl"_ , Yibo laughed out loud. _"My responsibility is yours too so whenever I am away you have to come here and look after Xiao Zhan" ...... "No, no dinner treat for that. Get lost"_. _He_ giggled some more.

Xiao Zhan let out a sigh and got up from the seat. Yibo, instantly stopped talking as _his_ eyes followed him.

_"Zhan-ge"_

"I... I will make myself a cup of tea". Xiao Zhan signaled Yibo towards the kitchen.

Yibo nodded. _"I will prefer green tea"_.

"Okay", Xiao Zhan smiled but it was just a shape that his mouth made. Leaving the younger one behind, he walked away.

Yibo focused on the phone call. _"But seriously Qui Ying, I am too grateful to you"_

"Don't be formal with me BoBo", Qui Ying said from the other side of the call.

_"I am not being formal but honestly I don't want to let him out of my sight even for a minute. Thank you for being here while I was away"_

"That's alright. By the way how is he doing?"

 _"Pretty cool. It has been just around ten days and he looks more handsome than ever but I think he may have gained one or two pounds"_ , Yibo chuckled.

"Yes, he was skinner the first day I saw him"

_"Isn't he? I knew I was right. Now he looks good. He looks healthier although his manager is gonna hit me hard for this but I don't mind. My Zhan-ge should eat healthy and live healthy"_

"Yibo?", Qui Ying called.

_"Mn?"_

"Are you alright?"

_"Yeah, Zhan-ge is alright"_

"What about you?"

_"I am naturally alright if he is doing fine"_

"With every inch of your being you love him, does he know that?"

_**"His knowing it won't give me what I desire for, Qui Ying"** _

"Why don't you try talking to him, once again, about your..."

Yibo interrupted her. _**"What shall I say? That I love him...? He will reject me at my face once again, like he did in the past"**_

"I can understand BoBo that you are hurt"

_**"Yes, I am hurt but my love and my self-respect values equal. My dignity does not allow me to pester someone to love me back when he had verbally made it clear, years ago, that he can never feel the same"** _

Standing in the kitchen, Xiao Zhan poured himself a glass of water and gulped down all of it in one go. Yibo's words might not be reaching his ears but he could still hear _his_ unrestrained laughter and chortle.

He sighed and muttered under his breath, in between pauses. **"Is it necessary to want something only when I love it? ... I want you... which includes your care, concern, anger, sadness, teasing, giggles... all of you... Why will it be unfair if I want my best friend only to myself and share him with nobody else?"**

Getting along with Xiao Zhan just like the previous times was no rocket science yet Yibo was unable of figure out what went wrong that Xiao Zhan once again had started to cage himself inside his own world. Neither did he talk like before nor did he try to get close to Yibo like he had been doing for the past several days. It did not take much investment of Yibo's intelligence to know that something had been troubling the other person and he was deeply affected by it.

In the past three days all that Xiao Zhan talked about was that he wanted to return back to his home. Home did not refer to returning to his parents, though. He wanted to return to his own apartment in Shanghai, which would mean he was once again planning on locking himself up inside the four walls of his room.

Yibo could not let that happen.

Did _he_ push himself to the edge of _his_ limit for this? _He_ had reconciled with Xiao Zhan, agreed to do and give whatever the other one was demanding for, only because _he_ wanted to see him mentally happy and physically healthy. Letting Xiao Zhan have his own ways with his life would mean returning back to the point from where they had started.   
It was not that Yibo was planning on keeping a watch on Xiao Zhan forever but before letting him stay alone, _he_ needed to be sure that he could take care of himself.

Yibo still remembered the previous days, the day when _he_ had returned home from Sina Weibo Awards 2020. How embarrassed and angry and depressed _he_ was because the other person had just rejected _his_ love confession right at _his_ face. Yibo knew rejection was coming _his_ way yet _he_ had decided to gather all the courage and confess _his_ love verbally and seriously and no matter how much _he_ had tried explaining to _himself_ that Xiao Zhan's company was all that _he_ needed but _he_ could not just accept that the elder one had said 'No'.

'No', he could not love _him_ back?

People who would judge _him_ on the fact that Yibo was selfish enough to have just thought and cared about _his_ own feelings, did they even think about stepping into _his_ shoes and see how it felt like to get rejected but remain in a friendly relation with the person that _he_ loved? Sometime later Xiao Zhan would find a love for himself and all that would be left for Yibo was to stand at a distance and witness the blooming romance of the one that _he_ loved with somebody else.

To be honest that would have killed _him_ , stabbed _him_ in the heart and take _his_ breath away. So, Yibo had decided to be selfish for once. Distancing himself from Xiao Zhan would give _his_ broken heart the required time to heal and move on from _his_ feelings of love for the other one. But soon after that, Yibo noticed things were not happening the way _he_ had expected them to happen.

 _He_ had rejected Xiao Zhan's calls quite a lot of times, every time the other one tried to get in touch with _him_.

No... once _he_ had received his call, hoping... just hoping that the situation might improve. Xiao Zhan might... just might think about reciprocating _his_ love. But no, _he_ was wrong. All that the elder one was concerned about was his career, public image, growth and success. Yibo could fit _himself_ nowhere amidst Xiao Zhan's fast progressing fame and busy schedule.

Yibo did not want to die. _He_ wanted to live... live a life in peace. That was the least thing that _he_ deserved, what every person in the world deserved.

But... a month later, _he_ noticed a few strange things, a few articles going viral, all of them talking about the same thing.

**'Nation's Number 1 heart-throb Xiao Zhan deactivated all his social media accounts' .... Strange!!**

A few weeks later, the whole of the internet was going gaga over something as **'Why Xiao Zhan stopped appearing in Award Ceremonies and giving Off-set interviews'** , which became the headlines in every Entertainment magazine and news article.

Yibo's brain did not require much processing to understand that Xiao Zhan was clearly sad and being an introverted person, as he normally was, he had bordered his world on all sides with work and duty with any of his cheerfulness hardly noticed by others.

Yibo was sad, the deep aching melancholy of the sudden change in both of their lives was unsettling as hell. _He_ understood Xiao Zhan wanted to talk to _him_ but being unable to do so became painful for him too.   
There were many a times when Yibo thought that it was enough. _He_ could not see Xiao Zhan hurt like this and even at the cost of his own burning spirit _he_ would get back into talking terms with the other person once again for the sake of his happiness.

No doubt it was much difficult for _him_ to keep _himself_ from sticking to _his_ decision and give Xiao Zhan the time so that he could gradually get accustomed to a life without Yibo in it.

It happened as Yibo expected. After almost eight months, Xiao Zhan once again started to appear on reality shows, gave interviews and participated in singing and dancing programs and attended Award ceremonies. When Yibo learnt about the same, _he_ felt glad.

How much had _he_ worried about Xiao Zhan! Besides the obvious fact that 'Xiao Zhan rejected Yibo and feeling humiliated, Yibo had cut all ties with him', no one would ever be able to know how the separation period had pained Yibo. It sucked so bad that sadness, anxiety and anger stalked _his_ days and night.

Yibo was snapped out of a dark fog of past memories when _he_ felt a tug at his shirt.

"Please, let's go home", sitting on the bed, Xiao Zhan again pleaded.

_"We are already home, aren't we Zhan-ge?"_

"No"

_"Why? You don't like to stay here anymore?"_

"No"

After a moment of silence, Yibo stretched _his_ arms wide at the elder one. Xiao Zhan blinked once, twice, unable to process in his mind what Yibo was trying to do.

_"Wanna come?"_

"Where?", Xiao Zhan asked, confused.

_"In my hug... Come"_

Xiao Zhan was thinking for a moment or two when all of a sudden Yibo held both of his elbows and pulled him against _his_ chest.

The first hug in between them, after two years, the first time in a long time that their chests collided against each other like this. Xiao Zhan could feel Yibo's heart beats against him and feared whether Yibo too was able to feel his heart doing somersaults inside his chest.

Yibo, protectively, wrapped _his_ arms around the other one's shoulders and ran _his_ palms along his back.

_"Why are you upset?"_

Xiao Zhan stayed unnaturally still; his body went stiff, unable to comprehend how to react to this unforeseen proximity.

 _"Were you painting this morning?"_. Yibo tried to help him relax his agitated mind.

"Hmm. I found my drawing book and old pencils and color palette there in the drawer", Xiao Zhan mumbled.

_"I did not even notice when you drew and uploaded the pic on Weibo"_

"You were on the video conference shoot for 'Day Day Up' in the other room"

 _"I am sorry, gege. I missed shooting the past few episodes, so they just asked me to drop a video message apologizing to fans for the absence and a promise to return soon. I was recording that"_. Yibo patted the other's back.

"I know. It's alright"

_"Did you see the comments on weibo?"_

"No"

_"Open it and see. People are singing praises of your artistic skills. Moreover, you uploaded your drawing after a long time. Seems like the much-awaited post is being received well"_

Xiao Zhan gradually relaxed and rested his chin properly on the younger one's shoulder, wrapping his own arms loosely around the other's waist.

"After two years I drew something"

_"Mn and it's beautiful... but..."_

"But?". The elder pulled away from the hug and looked into Yibo's eyes.

Yibo picked up Xiao Zhan's mobile which was kept unlocked on the bed and opened the Weibo app to see his latest update once again.

_"You are brilliant, Zhan-ge... I like the warm colors and such great detail"_

"Thank You", Xiao Zhan smiled.

_"But why is this heart wounded, Zhan-ge?"_

Yibo held the mobile in front of Xiao Zhan's face as if trying to get him a better view of his own drawing.

**A picture of a Heart, rather a wounded heart, with small gaps in between lines where they should normally be drawn with continuous strokes, indicating that the heart is in pieces.**

_"Zhan-ge, why is there a thin crack in between the two halves of the heart?"_

"It is severed"

_"Why did you add bandages and additional scrapes and cuts on either half?"_

"It is bruised"

 _"In your drawing, there is extra red color around the broken, jagged edges. What do they indicate?"_. Yibo said while looking carefully into the mobile screen and pointing at the details for Xiao Zhan to see.

"It bled a lot and is now irreparable", the elder one answered.

Yibo looked up to catch the dull pair of eyes in front of him. _"Give it to me. I can repair and heal it"_

"It's already yours. I don't own it anymore", Xiao Zhan said in a soft, low tone.

To be continued...


	13. Sustenance of Hearts [2]

Yibo looked up to catch the dull pair of eyes in front of him. _"Give it to me. I can repair and heal it"_

"It's already yours. I don't own it anymore", Xiao Zhan said in a soft, low tone.

Yibo forgot to breath, for a moment, wondering if _his_ ears might be ringing all of a sudden and _he_ just heard something wrong. While _his_ own focus was down on Xiao Zhan's mobile screen, _he_ was certain that the other person's eyes were fixed on _him_.

For the first time Yibo was afraid to look up and meet the gaze that was awaiting him, _he_ knew; for the first time Yibo felt anxious, thinking about how to react and what to say if _he_ was to meet with any question or any gesture from the elder one, that was unanticipated.

**'Dammit! What did I just say?', Xiao Zhan thought as he was taken aback by the words that had slipped from his own tongue. He kept silent, staring at Yibo unblinkingly, trying to fathom _his_ expressions for the sake of attaining his own sanity.**

The younger one slowly looked up and was surprised by the emotions that _he_ saw swimming in the depths of the elder's pair of beautiful eyes. _He_ suddenly was overwhelmed and felt tears building as _his_ own emotions welled up in response.

 _"I... I... Zhan-ge, I was talking about the painting. I can repair the dark red edges. I mean I can adjust the colours and..."_ , Yibo could somehow mumble nervously, looking elsewhere but at the person in front.

"I, too, am talking about the painting. You take this, do whatever you want with it. You have full freedom and rights on it", came a too-quick response.

**Xiao Zhan could not say what he was about to say. The thoughts that were immersed inside his heart lost their track even before they could reach his mouth. This was not what Xiao Zhan was wanting to say. He wished to express more in a different way. What were they? – he wondered while trying to dig deeper into his own self.**

Yibo turned _his_ head, again, at the source of the reply. It was abruptly hard, for _him_ , to meet those eyes for long and _he_ looked away.

What Xiao Zhan did the next moment was very unexpected. He stretched his hand out to the younger one, hooked his forefinger beneath Yibo's chin and turned _his_ face towards him.

"Let your poor lungs inhale. Breath now". Xiao Zhan playfully hit Yibo's arms and stomach and reached out for _him_ to put his arm around _his_ shoulder. Yibo, out of habit, whimsically slapped him away while letting out the breath that _he_ was holding for who-knew-since-when.

Xiao Zhan mischievously cringed as if the hit had hurt him.

"Ouch my arm! You fractured it Bo", Xiao Zhan complained.

Yibo winked at him while reaching out to hit him again that Xiao Zhan, this time, blocked with his hand, faking another cringe.

"Call for an ambulance first. I don't want to die at your hands Bo"

 _"But I am determined to murder you right away. Let's see who can save you from me"_. Yibo grabbed the other's neck with both _his_ hands, offcourse putting no pressure at all, and pushed Xiao Zhan on the bed making him lie on his back while _he_ himself climbed on top of him.

"Somebody help me... HELP", Xiao Zhan yelled and landed the lightest possible punch at Yibo's face, making sure the younger one is not hurt at all.

 _"Oucchhh!! Ge, you broke my jaw"_ , _he_ said in _his_ teasing way.

"And I can't breathe because you broke my neck and fractured my arm and...", before Xiao Zhan could finish, both of them broke out in laughter.

Yibo pulled _his_ hands away from the elder's throat and laid down on the bed beside him. Xiao Zhan turned on his side, lifting his body up a little and supporting his head with one arm placed beneath his neck and another arm grabbing Yibo's elbow to make _him_ look at him.

"I am fine Yibo. I think I can take care of myself from here. I won't drink anymore"

_"I will seriously kill you Zhan-ge if you ever lay your fingers on alcohol ever"_

"I promise I won't. Let me go back and resume my shoot"

_"Your alcohol withdrawal syndrome has improved quite a lot. The medicines have shown great improvements on you. Let's stay here for some more time... for my assurance, for my peace of mind"_

Xiao Zhan did not know if he could ever argue and win against _him_. All he could do was plead once again, "Don't give me hopes like this, Yibo"

_"What hopes?"_

"Hopes that you don't want to murder me but see me live long", he let out a stifled laugh.

Yibo's expressions became serious. _He_ knitted _his_ eyebrows and said in a cold tone, _"May I die and may you live for ever and ever"_

"Hey... sssshhhh, shut up you annoying kid", Xiao Zhan put his palm on Yibo's mouth. "Utter another nonsensical word and I am going to book the next flight and go back and you cannot stop me", the softness in his voice was gone which was now replaced by a serious threat.

 _"Zhan-ge?",_ removing the elder's hand from over _his_ lips, Yibo called. _"I am not giving you false hopes. I will seriously never let you fall again"_ , _he_ sounded like _he_ made a sincere promise to himself.

"Hahaha. What if you get busy?", Xiao Zhan's eyes softened and his tone was once again polite and soothing.

_"No matter how busy am I, I will always have time for you"_

"Is it?"

_"Yes"_

Xiao Zhan smiled sadly as he sat up on the bed.

"But you yourself said that day, you have got more priorities in life"

 _"When did I say?"_ , Yibo was puzzled.

"When I asked who you love more?"

_"I did not say I love anyone else more"_

"You did not say you love me more, either", Xiao Zhan annoyingly turned away.

_"My goodness! You are aging backwards and becoming as slow-witted as a three-years-old baby"_

"Am I?"

_"Else who?"_

**Xiao Zhan knew Yibo was right. He was brainless and dull-witted. Otherwise he could have figured out earlier what he was about to say. Wasn't he going to say that the heart in the picture was his, which was desperately seeking Yibo's attention?**

"Then look into my eyes and tell me you do not love anyone", the 31 years old demanded an answer while frowning like a child.

Yibo kept quiet because _he_ could not lie. How could _he_ say _he_ did not love anyone? He loved Xiao Zhan yesterday and he still loved him today.

Yibo's silence answered the other person. 'You cannot confess to me who you love?', he thought to himself.

"Okay I believe you, Yibo. Today you don't have any one to love but tomorrow you may have"

Yibo was reluctant to voice out _'I cannot fall in love again'_ and so he once again chose not to speak.

Xiao Zhan stared at him for a while. "Please let me go home"

_"No"_

"Why not?"

_"Ten more days okay. After that we will return"_

"Yibo, I want to go tomorrow"

_"Okay nine days"_

"Maximum two more days", Xiao Zhan shook his head, sounding determined.

Yibo knew _he_ was losing the argument. _He_ felt a tense atmosphere of anxiousness built between them.

 _He_ lifted _his_ hand and teased the elder's bare neck with _his_ finger tip earning a loud giggle from him.

"You brat move away"

Yibo smiled broadly. _"Zhan-ge, I am the younger one, right? So you should satisfy my demands"_

"What demands?", Xiao Zhan asked.

_"You said two. Let's make it three"_

"Okay", Xiao Zhan nodded. One more day, he would be able to put up with his confused and adamant heart.

_"Wait, I am not finished yet... You said two, I say three... let's make it two to the power three which makes it an eight"_

Xiao Zhan blinked in confusion.

"Who do you think am I... a three-years old?"

_"No... a two-years-old"_

Xiao Zhan sighed and could only mumble a "Okay" in response.

_"Alright, I am going to take a shower. You don't sit here and sulk. Call Aunty. I don't know why you are rejecting her calls since morning. She must be worried"_

"I will call Mom, later"

 _"No Zhan-ge. Be a good boy, c'mon. Talk to her right now"._ With that being said, Yibo got up from the bed and walked out of the room.

Xiao Zhan wanted to stop _him_ and ask _him_ to sit beside him a bit longer.

He wanted to say that he was willing to stay here forever and never go away. He wanted to say that it had irked him so much to see Qui Ying's clothes and accessories inside Yibo's wardrobe. Xiao Zhan wanted to grab Yibo by _his_ collar and land a hard punch at _his_ face and scream that whenever _he_ said _he_ no more loved him the way _he_ previously used to do, it ached him beyond imagination.

To repeatedly see Yibo talking over phone with Qui Ying, laughing and smiling, sucked. They usually sucked more than before when they used to argue and fight over trivial issues. They sucked so bad that he felt that all he could do was sit slumped into bed, staring into nothing.

Everytime the thought that Wang Yibo had distanced himself from him for two years only to get closer to someone else filled the elder one's heart with inexplainable aching stuff.

Xiao Zhan understood that he was late. He should not have let Yibo go. Right at this moment no matter how much he tried to make things better, it felt like their relationship was never going to be the same again. Everything had changed and Xiao Zhan's whole body was screaming this knowledge back at him.

The only thing that was bothering the hell out of him was that Yibo did not love him anymore, atleast not in a way _he_ used to do before.

**_"ZHAN-GE! ZHAN-GE! ZHAN-GE!"_ **

Xiao Zhan's suddenly came out of his trail of thoughts as his blood froze hearing the loud piercing scream of Yibo from inside the bathroom.

It took him no second to jump out of the bed and sprint the remaining distance with his heart in his throat. He stood in front of the closed bathroom door and banged impatiently at it.

"Yibo... Yibo... what happened?"

**_"ZHAN-GE!"_ **

"Baby... baby... I am here. Open the door. Tell me what happened. Yibo?"

The door opened partly and Yibo peeped _his_ face out of it. _"Zhan-ge, can you hand me the towel. I forgot to bring it"_

"What?"

_"The towel... My towel. I forgot..."_

"You annoying ass. Get lost, you bastard", Xiao Zhan yelled at the top of his voice.

Yibo innocently looked at him, feeling _himself_ in the position of a puppy when it's master was angry at it.

_"What did I do Zhan-ge?"_

"Why were you screaming like that? I was losing my shit... you brat. My breath was tuck in my throat", Xiao Zhan shouted.

_"I thought you are talking with your mother on phone and so you won't be able to hear..."_

"Shut up, you annoying little kid", Xiao Zhan was almost panting.

 _"Zhan-ge, Sorry"_. Yibo's soft puppy eyes melted Xiao Zhan's heart. He pushed the door a little and slid a hand inside to cup one side of the younger one's wet face with his palm.

Leaning against the door, he took a close look at Yibo's face that was still dripping wet. Shower water gathered in the form of beads on _his_ forehead. A few strands of _his_ wet hair were falling above _his_ eyes lashes.

Xiao Zhan looked down at the other person's bare wet neck and a part of the milky white smooth skin of _his_ chest that was visible from behind the partly opened door.

"Are you okay?", he stroked Yibo's jawline with his thumb tip. "Don't shout like that. It scared the hell out of me. I thought you got hurt... Are you alright?"

 _"No"_ , Yibo shook _his_ head and whispered.

Xiao Zhan's head shot up at once. "What happened? What... what happ..."

 _"You are not well and you are not letting me take care of you. I am worried and that makes me sick"_ , Yibo pouted.

Xiao Zhan kept looking at the worried face in front of him. Tears burned his eyes as they slowly started getting accumulated in the corners. Biting his lower lip, he tried to suppress the sad soft chuckle that was about to escape his lips.

"I don't want to live under the wrong impression that you care about me... the most"

Yibo was confused. Furrowing his eyebrows, he replied, _"I do"_

"What do you do?"

_"I care about your wellbeing"_

"The most?", Xiao Zhan asked.

Yibo barely took a second before mouthing, _"Yes, the most"_

Xiao Zhan smiled at him and stood straight. "Wait a moment. I will get you your towel"

He turned back and walked inside the room.

When Xiao Zhan returned with the towel, Yibo flashed a broad smile at him. _"Zhan-ge, let's go to Chongqing"_

"What? Why?"

_"Your mother was telling me that it has been so many months that you visited them. Almost a year. This is not right"_

"I did not get time", Xiao Zhan brought an excuse.

_"Now we have eight more days. A lot of time for us. Let's go tomorrow"_

"No, not now... I will think about it and then... wait... Yibo?"

_"Are you going to ask me how did I know that you don't visit your parents?"_

"How do you know?"

_"Your mother had called me to wish me on my birthday. Then I called your parents to wish them on their anniversary. They have a lot of complaints regarding you. They are sad that you no more visit them. Let's go and prove to them that Zhan-ge is the best son ever"_

Xiao Zhan remained dumbfounded for a while.

"You... you... you people talked over phone? Over phone?"

_"Yes"_

"My parents and you? ... in these years?"

_"Yes"_

"How... When?"

The door slammed shut at his face and Yibo shouted from inside. _"ZHAN-GE! Let me finish my shower"_

"Yibo", Xiao Zhan knocked.

 _"Go away"_ came the response and then there was only the soft sound of the running shower following by the melodious humming in the sweet voice.

**_"Feature the life every common day,_ **

**_Burn the moments into the fullest,_ **

**_That we have got one life, one world,_ **

**_So, let's come together, we will weather the storm,_ **

**_A rain of colours... look up to the sky,_ **

**_We are all made of shooting stars"_ **

One of Xiao Zhan's song "Spotlight", which was recorded and released in 2020, the song that had made world records, making its place among the best-selling digital singles in the world.

 **'Yibo remembers the lyrics by heart, even today'** , Xiao Zhan thought to himself as he kept rooted at the place.

It was not Xiao Zhan's stubbornness that wanted to have what felt like he could never have but it was his restless spirit that was yelling at the top of his voice that his recovery, well-being, happiness and sanity all depended on what Yibo thought and felt about him.

The words that were said to him years ago, Xiao Zhan was dying to hear them once again. **_"Will you be with me Zhan-ge? – like the way our sweethearts are with each other... Lan Wangji and his Wei WuXian"_** , he got fidgety as the younger's voice rang in his ears.

To be continued...


	14. Quest of Love-Realization [1]

The flight was delayed by two hours. Xiao Zhan was sitting in the airport waiting room. It was a good time to look around and observe. He was killing quite a bit of his time by sometimes noticing the other passengers and sometimes stealing glances of the other person sitting beside him, whose eyes were frozen on _his_ mobile screen while _his_ lips were busy taking little sips from a cup of coffee.

“Your drink is now too cold to have any discernible taste”, the elder one addressed Yibo. When the latter did not respond, Xiao Zhan slid closer to _him_ and peeped into the mobile. “What are they saying?”

_“Who?”_

“The racing organizers… did they fix the date of the tournament?”

_“No, they just announced the date of registration”_

“Oh okay. When is that starting?”, Xiao Zhan asked.

_“It already started”_

“Hmm. Ask them which is the last date”

 _“I did… on the 3 rd of the next month”_, Yibo replied.

Xiao Zhan was surprised. “What? … five days later? … Yibo?”

_“Mn”_

“Then what are we doing here? Yibo… you need to be physically present there while putting your signatures on the registration paper, isn’t it? You should go back soon. Yibo… Yibo…”

_“Oho… Zhan-ge. Shut up. I won’t go. I already informed my coach”_

The elder widened his eyes and looked at Yibo with disbelieve. “When and what did you tell him?”

_“Today in the morning that I am not willing to participate in it, this year”_

“Whaa… what did you say?”

 _“That which you just heard”_ , the younger one shrugged and once again shifted _his_ focus from the elder’s face back to _his_ mobile screen.

Xiao Zhan stretched out his hand and held Yibo’s elbow in his firm grip. “Why are you doing this?”

Yibo sighed. _“Zhan-ge, I will return with you after eight days, according to our plans”_

“But Yibo, you need to be there. You should participate, God damm it”

_“That is not important Zhan-ge, leave it. There is something more that I want to talk…”_

“You listen to me first. Yibo, every year you look forward to this Mega Championship and now that it is happening, you don’t want to participate?”

_“Zhan-ge…”_

“No”

_“Listen to me…”_

“No! I said No… Yibo, you are going back as soon as possible”

 _“No way!”_ , Yibo released _his_ hand from Xiao Zhan’s grip and looked into his eyes. _“There is no question of returning, leaving you here”_. He got up from the seat. _“Give me your cold drink can. Let me discard these into the bin”_

Xiao Zhan handed him his empty can and Yibo walked away.

Standing in the washroom, Yibo splashed water at his face. _“Zhan-ge is stupid”_ , _he_ murmured. _“…spouting non-sense, as if that mere racing match is more important, huh! … well, it’s important but never more than how much you are to me”_

 _His_ phone vibrated. Wiping his wet hands with tissues, _he_ pulled out _his_ phone and received the call.

_“What! You won’t let me pee at peace”_

“COME BACK… right now”, the familiar voice on the other side of the call shouted.

_“Ufff… you are a shit, Zhan-ge. I am peeing”_

“There is no bigger shit in this world than you. You need twenty minutes to pee? I said Come back”, Xiao Zhan once again yelled.

_“As if I would get lost”_

“I will strangle you if you try to avoid me, foolish brat”

Yibo chuckled. _“Seems like my Zhan-ge misses me just too much these days. Wait! I am coming”_

Holding the phone to this ear, the elder person on the line laughed softly to himself. ****‘Yibo and his cat fights’. What a great way of expressing desires! When Xiao Zhan was so much craving for the younger’s attention, all he could do was call him and yell at him. When he had to express his adoration for Yibo, all that he knew he was capable of doing was slapping the other one playfully and hitting him at a constant, giving away unsaid confessions as ‘I want you to myself. I want you to look at me, keep your focus on me because I am fond of you’.****

****Yibo, too, would always hit him back, twice, thrice, without ever getting tired – what were their ages? Twenty-five and thirty-one, weren’t they? Yet how could two grown up men act all childish, giggling to themselves while being with each other, enjoying the time together.** **

‘Yibo is still a baby’, Xiao Zhan thought to himself, ‘my annoyingly clingy puppy’, who the elder had met, for the first time, when the other one was just twenty years old.

‘How big that kid grew up to be! Tall and handsome’, Xiao Zhan’s mind supplied. ‘May you be blessed with everything that you deserve, every single thing that you want, you secretly and openly wish to have’, his eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled to himself.

Who would go and explain to him that Yibo wanted him?

****Xiao Zhan made every inch of _his_ body burn with desire. Yibo longed for him, yearned for him. _He_ craved him – from the tip his head to the curve of his ankles. _He_ had a craving for him to crave for _him_.** **

****And Xiao Zhan?** **

****If anybody would ask him about the same, he would let out a nervous laughter and sadly say, “I crave for Yibo as the moon craves the night, the ocean craves the salt and the heart craves a beat”.** **

Sighing to himself, his mind would add a ‘Why?’.

Xiao Zhan shook his head, disapproving to himself, “This is so stupid, idiotic and makes zero sense to feel like this. He is my best friend. The differences we had in between us are now resolved. Then why do I not feel content with this? I have started to admire him more than I ever had”

He kept nervously waiting for Yibo to return. He could not see which direction the younger one had gone and kept looking around.

“It seems like with each passing day, I want to sip, some more, your essence and breathe you in. This is absolutely insane. I truly am sick. Friends should not feel this way, isn’t that something which I had lectured you some years before?”

When Yibo came back to his seat, Xiao Zhan was already frowning.

 _“Why is this toddler annoyed now? Getting bored? Wait, the flight will be here in an hour”_ , Yibo fondly tapped the elder’s cheek.

“Yibo… Yibo”, Xiao Zhan whined.

 _“Mn”_ , Yibo paid all his attention to the one who was demanding for it.

“You do so much for me. Don’t you think I too need to look after you?”

_“You don’t have to”_

“I want to”

_“What do you want to do?”_

“Yibo. I know you want to participate. Please go back”

_“No”_

“Please”

_“I said No”_

“I said Please”

_“No”_

“Yes”

_“I won’t go back”_

“You will go back”

_“Only in your dreams, Zhan-ge”_

“And in my reality too, Yibo”

_“Fuck you”_

“Fuck you more”

_“You are annoying me”_

“You annoy me more”

_“Mind your own business, Zhan-ge”_

“You are my business, Bo-di”

Yibo let out _his_ breath. “Listen to me. I don’t want to leave you alone. That will naturally make me more restless. So, it will be better if I stay with you. Zhan-ge trust me, this match is not important”, _he_ confessed.

Xiao Zhan kept thinking for a while, staring unblinking at _him_.

“You are worried for no-reason. I will be fine”

 _“No”_ , Yibo moved his head from side to side, showing disagreement.

“Okay. I will be staying with mom and dad. Will that be alright Yibo?”, Xiao Zhan tried to reason with him, hoping the younger one might find this a better idea than skipping the much-awaited tournament.

 _“Hmmm?”_ , Yibo’s tone softened, as he quietly hummed, which naturally did not fail to catch Xiao Zhan’s attention.

“Yibo… I will be staying at home. Will not that be good?”

_“Zhan-ge”_

“I promise I won’t return without letting you know”

_“The registration process is long. It will take time and…”_

“That’s alright. Take your time. I will return once you are done and I will let you know. Will that be okay?”

This seemed to have been considered accountable for Yibo as _he_ pouted and stared at the ground instead of taking the argument further. Seizing the opportunity of the moment, Xiao Zhan brought his phone from inside his pocket and his fingers started hovering over the screen.

“Tickets are available for… umm, the day after tomorrow”, he elbowed the younger one.

Yibo looked up, _“Zhan-ge”_

“I will be fine okay. I will be fine… with dad and with my mom. They will take care of me, isn’t it? … just the way you do”. Xiao Zhan already started filling in the details – the flight name, seat preference, the passenger’s name and age.

“I feel so weird while typing 25 in place of your age. I am so used to 20, 21 and 22. When did you grow this big, baby?”, he grinned a bit as he commented.

Yibo did not respond. _His_ eyes looked confused at what should and should not be done. Xiao Zhan seemed to have observed that but he ignored. Yibo was being stubborn which made no sense. Knowing _his_ passion, _his_ eagerness for bike racing, Xiao Zhan could never hold _him_ back without any good reason. Racing was what made Yibo happy and _his_ happiness was what made Xiao Zhan happy in turn.

“Okay, so payment confirmed? … Yes, and here is your ticket. I will mail the copy to you”, Xiao Zhan held Yibo’s hand in his own.

 _“I am… I am… not selfish”_ , Yibo muttered, a few seconds later, under his breath. The elder’s head at once turned towards his side. Sensing the feel of indecision in his mind, Xiao Zhan put his arm around Yibo’s shoulder and pulled him in a side hug. “What? … You are off course not. Hey, look up, look up at me”. Pushing his phone back into his pocket, he held Yibo’s chin and made _him_ look up.

The shining eyes on the face that was mostly covered under mask, attempting to hide the true identity of the nation’s one of the two most reputed public figures, melted the elder’s heart. “Whatever you are saying, I understand. Whatever you are not saying, I understand that too. I know you”

_“Is this the right thing to do, Zhan-ge? Because I willingly took up the responsibility of being with you till you recover and now, I am…”_

“Till I recover? … only for such a short period of time?”

_“I mean…”_

“You mean what huh?”, Xiao Zhan tapped on the other’s nose lightly with his finger tip, “If you win the race, it will make me so happy. Last time when I visited you on the day of your match in 2019, you had won the first place. I was so proud of you. After that, unfortunately for two years this deserving person kept on disappointing me as I read the news that someone else took away the trophy”

Yibo lowered his head. _“Were you bothered by my losing during these two years?”_

“No… I was more worried about your safety”

_“Mn… I am sorry. I could not win”_

“Will you safely make it to the first position if I visit you this year on your day?”, said Xiao Zhan, so seriously and excitedly that it was evident from the tone of his voice.

 _“Will you come?”_ , the younger one’s finally sounded a little happy as _he_ glanced up at him.

“I will, if that makes you happy”

 _“Really?”_ , Yibo literally jumped.

“ssshhh, ssshhh… you brat, adjust your cap. We are with no security. People may recognise us”. Xiao Zhan held the other one’s face, with affection, in between his palms and pushed back the few curls from his hair that was coming out from his cap.

Both of them put their hands on their mouths from above their face masks and cheerfully chuckled.

 _“Thank you Zhan-ge”_ , Yibo said.

“Hmmm, that’s better. You are welcome”. Both of them were now looking at each other with eyes shining bright, jovially.

_“Zhan-ge, will you promise me another thing”_

“Anything… say it”

_“I forced you to disappear with me and it has already been around thirteen days that no-one has a news of your whereabouts. I saw certain people on the internet using this opportunity to spread nonsensical rumours about you”_

“Really?”, Xiao Zhan widened his eyes, “let me see”, he attempted to look at his phone when Yibo almost snatched it away from him.

_“No mental pressure. You are not going to check social media for the next few days, until you are back”_

“Let me see what people are talking about”

 _“I said No… Zhan-ge, don’t argue. I am uninstalling your apps”_. Taking Xiao Zhan’s phone in his hand, he tried unlocking it.

_“1234, 4321 are not working. It’s strange that you took the risk of putting a different combination of numbers despite knowing that you cannot remember them. I thought it must be the easiest one - 1234”, Yibo threw his head back and laughed. “What’s the password?”_

****“5897”** **

Yibo at once fell silent as he suddenly felt loss of words.

“What happened?”, Xiao Zhan elbowed him and smiled.

Yibo’s lips parted and curled upwards a little as he too smiled back and his mind supplied, _‘Stop talking like that Zhan-ge. I will start misunderstanding. My heart will, stupidly, want to assume that you remember my birthday because… may be, just maybe you too feel…’_

“There are certain combinations of numbers that I will never forget”.

The elder’s voice interrupted _his_ thoughts. _“Huh?”_

“Dumb boy… finish uninstalling the apps. The plane is about to land. Let’s go”

_“Oh yeah I did. Just wait a moment. Let me call Qui Ying and inform her…”_

“Inform her what?”, Xiao Zhan’s voice instantly fell and the feeling of contentment disappeared from his face.

_“That I will be going back in two days”_

“Why does she need to know that?”

_“Because she was earlier asking me about the race and…”_

“And why was she asking you about your race?”

_“Oh Zhan-ge, just eat my head up and be done with it, okay? Eat it and gulp down everything that is inside. My jaws are hurting while answering your never-ending queries”_

“You are…”

 _“I am not avoiding you. You are more important to me than her. Are you happy now? I will call her later”_ , Yibo put up a face of fake annoyance as he held Xiao Zhan’s neck with one hand and shook the elder a little. “ _Pick your bag now. Come”_

“Yibo?”, Xiao Zhan held _him_ back.

_“Mn”_

“We have only a day left”

_“Mn”_

“Yibo?”

_“What?”_

“I… I will… I mean”, the elder stuttered.

 _“We will be in touch”_ , sensing his nervousness, Yibo assured.

“I know”

_“Then what is troubling you?”_

“I love… your company”

 _“I too enjoy being with you”_ , Yibo smiled.

“Enjoy? Only enjoy?”, Xiao Zhan asked.

_“What else?”_

“I thought you will say that you too love my company”

 _“Hahaha… both has the same meaning”_ , the younger laughed.

“No… they make a difference”, came the response from the dejected face.

 _“What do you want me to say?”_ , Yibo, mischievously, pinched Xiao Zhan’s cheek.

“Ouch! … leave, leave… I said LEAVE, my cheek hurts”

 _“Awww, toddler’s cheeks are delicate”_ , the younger’s lips curled up into a flirty and cute laugh.

Xiao Zhan knocked Yibo on the head, “Shut up”

 _“Aaaahh!’_ , _he_ grazed _his_ fingers through _his_ own hairs. _“Don’t hit me Zhan-ge, otherwise I won’t say it”_

“Say what?”

_“That I too love to be with you”_

Xiao Zhan was startled at the words that came without prior notice. He just smiled and shook his head trying to hide the blush that he could feel rising to his cheeks.

 _“…… in a way that you are yet to understand”_ , Yibo added.

“Huh?”, the elder was totally baffled. “Make me understand then”

 _“You won’t understand because your head is this thick”_ , Yibo jokingly tried to show him how big by stretching _his_ arms wide. _“You are an idiot”_

“Not as idiot as you believe I am”, Xiao Zhan was all smiles looking at the confounded face staring back at him.

To be continued…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I am resting my case, your honour. No more 'Why is Zhan-ge so smol and dumb?' 🤣 End of I won't say angst but yes confession is on its way 🥺  
> Two more chapters to go and I promise to make this 6-feet tiny baby's brain start walking in the right direction, before that😅


	15. Quest of Love-Realization [2]

As soon as the door opened in front of them, Mrs. Xiao walked up to wrap one of the two men standing at the door, in her widely spread arms as she sobbed loudly, “My dear child. My boy. Goodness! You lost weight. You have just a layer of skin covering the bones on your body”

“Oh, stop it! Stop it, I said”

Yibo was so stunned to see the sudden emotional reunion moment of mother and her not-so-small baby in front of _him_ that _he_ was looking at them with eyes dilated and a gaping mouth while holding the words of greetings inside _his_ throat, when the heavy male voice of someone from inside the house startled _him_ and _he_ had to straighten _his_ head to look at the approaching figure.

Holding his specs in his hands, Xiao Zhan’s father pulled his wife away from their son, grabbing her by her elbow. “Let the boys enter. Let them step inside at the least”

Xiao Zhan’s mother slapped her husband’s hand off her and frowned at him.

“As if I am not letting your son enter”

“At least I got to hear that he is my son too”

“Did I ever say that he belongs only to me?”

“No, you never said that all his good qualities are inherited from you and your parents which makes me just an outsider”

“This is the reason I say he is mine. He never talks to me in an aggressive rude manner”, Mrs. Xiao retaliated.

“And the habit of arguing at every sentence, he did not get that quality from me, for sure”, Mr. Xiao fought in his defense.

Yibo stood at the door dumbfounded, witnessing the couple bicker when a light tug at the edge of _his_ shirt made _him_ shift his attention towards the apologetic _‘I-am-sorry-but-I-can’t-help’_ pair of eyes.

“Don’t mind them”, Xiao Zhan sighed.

 _“Who argues more?”_ , smiling softly, Yibo could not restrain himself from asking.

“Umm… I don’t want to sound partial but honestly my dad is an innocent poor soul. My mom fights a lot”

_“So, you take after your mother, Zhan-ge?”_

“What? When did I argue with you?”

_“When are you not arguing with me, ge?”_

“You piss me off, what can I do about it?”

_“You get on my nerves yet I keep calm”_

“Calm and you? Nice joke Yibo”

_“Says who? The devil himself”_

“And to whom? The emperor of the devil’s kingdom”

_“Zhan-ge, you started again?”_

“As if I initiated the argument”

_“Then who did?”_

“For your information, it’s you, like always”

Xiao Zhan’s parents had to stop from continuing with their squabble to look at the other pair standing at the door, who had suddenly started to yell at each other, while throwing daggers through their gazes.

“ZhanZhan, stop bothering Yibo”, Mrs. Xiao had to raise her voice the third time to draw the attention of the two people who were engaged in their war of words.

Xiao Zhan’s father came forward and reached out to pull Yibo in a warm hug. “How are you doing, handsome man?”

 _“I am good uncle”_ , Yibo politely replied.

“Very nice”, Xiao Zhan scowled. “Your tone at once changed while talking to dad but with me you are the most impolite and tyrant and…”

“Stop it ZhanZhan. Come here my boy”, Xiao Zhan’s father hugged his son tight, lovingly patting his back.

Being in the warm embrace of his father, Xiao Zhan gradually relaxed.

“Dad”

“Yes, my child”, his father tightened his hold onto him. “Are you okay baby?”

“Yes, I am fine”

“Good. Come, let’s sit”

Xiao Zhan’s mother held Yibo by _his_ elbow and pulled _him_ down a bit, whispering beside _his_ ear. “You truly have the unthinkable ability to tame my zhanzhan. Thank you”

Yibo smiled, _“No aunty. He was seriously busy with his work. Now that he got some free time, he willingly came to meet you all”_

“Don’t forget that I am the one who gave birth to this 6-feet-tall man. His father and me understand him more than he himself does. We know that he came because you forced him to.”

Yibo politely smiled back. _“Don’t worry aunty. He is doing much better”_

“I will worry less because I trust you”

The four of them settled on the sofas inside the living room, engaging in light chit chats regarding their delayed flight journey. Yibo noticed the aged couple’s eyes, all the while, focused unblinkingly, at Xiao Zhan in a way as if he was the most precious treasure that they want to lock in their gazes forever.

It was not that Yibo did not know how intense and genuine parents love could be, yet _his_ heart swelled at the thought that _his_ Zhan-ge had the world’s best two people to take care of him even after _he_ would be gone.

Xiao Zhan did not realize that coming back to his home and sitting beside his mother, keeping his own body glued to hers, with his father’s eyes fixed on him, would give him so much of comfort and a warm homely feel. He decided to thank Yibo properly, once he got some time alone with _him_ after dinner.

Thinking about Yibo, happiness reflected on his face as he noticed how well Yibo and his parents were interacting with each other. The younger person, being introverted by nature, although could never be too comfortable in front of strangers, was surprisingly chatting a lot with his parents.

Xiao Zhan’s parents were not strangers to Yibo, though. Yibo had met them uncountable times in the past. This was also not the first time that Yibo was visiting their home. So, the current scenario was not something unexpected. Yet Xiao Zhan felt contended.

The peace that was settling inside him was disturbed with the sound of Yibo’s ringtone as the younger one pressed _his_ mobile to _his_ ear, with a big smile on his face.

_“Qui Ying… I reached… yes, the day after tomorrow… Okay. I will call you later… Good night sweetheart… bye”_

Yibo disconnected the call.

Xiao Zhan was already frowning at _him_. “What did she say?”

_“Wooaahhh, Zhan-ge stop scolding me, for no reason”_

“What did she say, dammit”

“Goodness! Zhanzhan. What happened?”, Xiao Zhan’s mother stretched out her hand to pat the agitated person’s back, confused at why her son, all of a sudden, lost his temper over what seemed nothing to her.

Sensing the seriousness of the elder’s mood, Yibo at once got up from _his_ seat and came to Xiao Zhan, kneeling down on the floor before him, holding his hand firmly in _his_.

 _“ssshhh… Zhan-ge, it’s nothing. She was asking whether we reached safely or not since we have big luggage bags with us and we are also without security. She was asking about you too… about us”_. Yibo finger tips brushed against Xiao Zhan’s closed fist.

“Okay”, came the soft reply, after a moment.

Xiao Zhan’s mother did not fail to notice them holding each other’s gazes. The elder of the two had a dejected look on his face and the younger knitted _his_ eyebrows, wanting to read and erase every frown formed on the face opposite to _him_.

She looked up at her husband, who could only nod at her in response.

“Yibo, why don’t you go and freshen up, son. I am asking the servant to keep your luggage in the guest room”, Mrs. Xiao offered.

“No, mom. Let him take my bedroom. He always finds my room more comfortable”, Xiao Zhan said. Yibo did not object. _He_ truly loved Xiao Zhan’s spacious, airy room the most of all other rooms in this house.

“Take a quick shower and have some rest okay. You can keep your stuffs in my shelves, alright? And if you want to wear my clothes… umm”, Xiao Zhan took a quick glance at his parents as he continued, “… please do it. Wear whatever you want. You don’t need to ask me”

Yibo hung _his_ head low and nodded slightly, attempting to hide _his_ flushed cheeks. _‘Zhan-ge is weird. Is it necessary to say all these in front of uncle and aunty? I would have anyway worn his clothes without asking him’_ , _his_ mind supplied.

 _“Where will you sleep, Zhan-ge”_ , Yibo asked.

“With mom and dad”

_“Will that be okay?”_

“Offcourse… you don’t worry about me. Go freshen up. Then come down and have some food”

The servant came to carry _his_ luggage upstairs. Yibo followed him.

Xiao Zhan kept looking at Yibo’s retreating figure till _he_ was out of sight.

“Mom, I don’t know if he will be able to sleep alone. He is scared of the dark, you know right?”

“Is he still?”

“I don’t know. But how can a person’s phobia suddenly disappear within a short span of time?”

“But he prefers your bed room zhanzhan”

“Then let me take the guest room next to my bedroom. He would be able to call me, if he needs anything”

“Zhanzhan, sleep with me today”, Xiao Zhan’s mother requested him with pleading eyes.

“Awww mom, don’t be a little girl. Your room is on the first floor. I cannot let Yibo sleep all alone on the second floor”

Mr. Xiao chuckled. “Seems like ZhanZhan is fathering a twenty-five years old baby”

“He is indeed a baby dad, an annoying one”. They laughed together.

After sitting for some more time with his parents, Xiao Zhan climbed upstairs to change.

Wearing a pair of fresh clothes, Xiao Zhan walked outside of the guest room and stood in front of his own bedroom to knock at the door.

The younger one opened it for him.

Xiao Zhan entered and pushed it closed behind them.

“Foolish boy, don’t lock the door”

_“Who is foolish?”_

“Someone named Wang Yibo”

_“And what are you, ge?”_

“As usual, the more intelligent between the two of us”

Keeping their hands on the sides of their waists, they broke out in laughter.

“Yibo… sorry for earlier”

 _“What earlier?”_ , the younger one asked.

“I once again shouted at you”

 _“Well I am accustomed to your mood swings”_ , Yibo landed a playful punch on Xiao Zhan’s shoulder.

“You are standing inside my room and hitting me, Bo”

 _“Do you feel defeated Zhan-ge because you cannot hit me back in return?”_ , Yibo teased.

“Seems like you wish to get a good beating”. Xiao Zhan stretched his arms out to grab the younger one by _his_ collar. Yibo slid aside and wrenched at the knob of the door and flung it open wide.

 _“Zhan-ge is getting old. He cannot even get his hands on me”_ , Yibo, affectionately, mocked Xiao Zhan once again and dashed out of the room.

“You brat”. The elder one pulled an endearing little grin as he too rushed outside, following Yibo who had already started running along the doorway. Xiao Zhan was also running fast to catch up with _him_.

****“Yibo WAIT”** **

****_“NO”_**** , the person referred to, shouted as he went ahead to climb down the stairs.

Xiao Zhan’s parents who were sitting in the living room, discussing among themselves which dishes they would be preparing for dinner, turned their heads to where the loud sound of laughter, followed by yelling, coming from.

Seconds later they saw Yibo storming inside the room, followed by Xiao Zhan as both of them were giggling uncontrollably like two madmen.

 ** **“Hey, you both. STOP IT”**** , Mrs. Xiao raised her voice in order to draw their attention. Unfortunately, her words went unheard as one of the two men latched himself on the floor with a loud thud and the other one, instantly, climbed on top of _him_.

Grabbing Yibo by _his_ collar, Xiao Zhan started to pant heavily. “What were you saying… I have grown old?”

 _“No… No… Zhan-ge is young, very young”_ , Yibo laughed unrestrainedly as he tried to free himself from the elder’s grip.

Putting his arms on both sides of the younger’s form, Xiao Zhan kept Yibo pinned against the floor, blocking him from moving.

“You sure have a death wish Yibo”

_“Try killing me. I will return as a ghost and kill you too”_

“You and ghost? Won’t you be afraid of yourself, Bo?”

 ** **“YOU TWO NOISY KIDS, GET UP FROM THE FLOOR”**** , Mrs. Xiao shouted, yet the two men, like before, did not pay any attention and continued rolling in the aisles.

_“Ahh… Ge, let me get up”_

“No”

_“I already admitted that my gege is very beautiful and very young”_

“Is it? But Yibo is more beautiful”

_“Ge is the most beautiful”_

“Then Bo is more beautiful than the most beautiful”

_“My Zhan-ge is this planet’s most beautiful man”_

“My Bo-di is this universe’s most….”

****“XIAO ZHAN WANG YIBO”** **

Xiao Zhan abruptly stopped speaking as he heard his mother yelled at the top of her voice, scolding them.

****“STOP THIS MADNESS AT ONCE”** **

Both of them turned to look at Mrs. Xiao who was standing at a distance, glaring at them. They hurriedly got onto their feet and stood side by side, like two culprits caught red-handed, with their heads hung low.

****“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU BOTH ARE DOING?”** **

_“Sorry Aunty”_

“Sorry mom”

****“SHUT UP… DID YOU EVEN REALIZE YOUR RUNNING, OUT OF OVER ENTHUSIASM, AROUND THE ROOM RESULTED IN MY FAVORITE CANDLE STAND AND FLOWER VASE LYING SHATTERED ON THE FLOOR?”** **

Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo turned their heads towards their sides to see the broken glass pieces on the floor, declaring their pathetic conditions and giving a prior warning that both of the men were now in trouble.

 ** **“LOOK AT YOU TWO. HOW OLD ARE YOU?”,**** Mrs. Xiao once again let out a wail.

“No, no… mom”, Xiao Zhan, right away, wrapped one arm around Yibo and pulled _him_ tightly in a side hug, against his chest. “Don’t tell him anything. I was the one who had started to tease him, in the first place. Please, don’t scold Yibo”

Yibo lifted _his_ eyes to look at Xiao Zhan’s face and then slowly shifted _his_ gaze at Mrs. Xiao, in the front, who was staring icily at them. _He_ struggled to unwrap Xiao Zhan’s arms from around _him_. The elder refused to do so. Yibo sighed and gave up, enfolding _his_ own hands around the other’s waist.

_“No… Aunty. I was the one who started running first. I am sorry. Zhan-ge is not at fault”_

“Shut up Bo”, Xiao Zhan frowned. “You did not do anything”

 _“You shut up Ge”_ , Yibo glowered. _“It’s my fault. Move away”_

“Remove your hands from my waist. How will I move?”

_“You first untie your arms from around me”_

“Stop with your nonsense Yibo”, the elder one gave a grimace of rage, while holding onto _him_ more securely against his own body.

 _“You stop with your idiocy, Zhan-ge”_ , the younger one landed a light punch on the other’s chest.

****“STOP YOU TWO LOVE BIRDS”** **

****

To be continued…


	16. Quest of Love-Realization [3]

Xiao Zhan felt his hands and limbs were paralyzed with happiness. The only muscle he was capable of moving was that of his lips which right now was stretched wide, as he grinned from ear to ear, with sudden joy engulfing his heart to see the scenario in front of him.

Mrs. Xiao was loveably pestering his Yibo by cramming a piece of crispy Bacon in _his_ mouth, awaiting _him_ to gulp it down so that she could stuff _him_ with a spoonful of fried rice.

"Mom, please... let my boy chew properly", Xiao Zhan said, suppressing his giggles.

Yibo glanced sideways at him with an adorably painful look on _his_ face, stretching out an arm at him, asking for help.

"Mom", Xiao Zhan made another failed attempt to save his dear friend.

"You shut up. Look at _his_ malnourished arms. You too have become thin but _he_ is thinner. Let _him_ eat at peace", his mother snapped at him.

 _"Zha... Zhan-ge... ge"_ , with a mouth full of bacon and rice, Yibo called out to him in a muffled voice.

Xiao Zhan shook his head with impish gaiety as he picked up his own food tray and got up from his seat to walk over to Yibo.

"Mom... relax okay. I will feed him. You go and bring the dessert", Xiao Zhan offered.

His mother proceeded towards the kitchen while he pulled the chair to sit beside Yibo, offering him a glass of water.

Gobbling down the rest of the food in _his_ mouth, the younger one tried to protest. _"Ge, I gained weight"_

"In 15 mins?", Xiao Zhan threw back his head and laughed.

 _"I have been chewing since... ummm... for about half an hour Zhan-ge. My jaws feel weak and I can move my mouth no more. If she tries feeding me again, I will have to chase them down my throat with gulps of wine"_. Yibo clutched _his_ abdomen with both _his_ hands.

"Awww, baby's stomach is hurting"

_"My manager will kill me for eating so much without doing any workout. I don't know how many pounds did I gain"_

"You still look handsome Yibo", Xiao Zhan winked before adding, "like always"

Yibo scratched _his_ head like a child in confusion. _"My jawbones still hurt and you sent her to bring over those desserts"_

Xiao Zhan shifted his chair closer to Yibo and put his arm around _him_. "Okay, ten minutes rest and after that we will find a way to skip the dessert"

The younger one scooted over against him. _"Zhan-ge?"_

"Hmm?"

_"The day after tomorrow, I will go"_

Xiao Zhan felt weirdly upset at having to let Yibo go.

"These thirteen days that I got to spend with you is the best vacation of my life in two years. If I had known that this will end so soon, I would not have wasted my time quarrelling with you while getting jealous over useless matters", he said.

The younger one lifted a brow, a prankish smile appeared at the corner of _his_ mouth. _"Jealous? Jealous over what?"_

"Nothing", Xiao Zhan pushed Yibo away from him and sat straight, putting a slab of fish into his mouth.

_"Tell me. What was the thing you were jealous over?"_

The elder did not respond. Yibo elbowed him. _"Zhan-ge"_

"......"

_"ZHAN-GEGEGEGEGEGE"_

"Shut up and eat"

_"Tell me what made you jealous"_

"Nothing. It was just a slip of tongue"

Yibo pressed _his_ lips, silently staring at the other one, while he ate. _He_ let out a breath and decided not to force him into speaking anymore.

_"Alright. When you think I am worthy enough for you to share your problems with, feel free to talk to me"_

Xiao Zhan turned his head to stare back at _him_. "You the worthiest person, who I wish to share my everything with"

 _"But not what caused you jealousy"_ , Yibo smirked tauntingly.

Just when the conversation between the two men was starting to become awkward and stiff, tensing up the atmosphere of the room, Xiao Zhan's parents entered holding three more plates of food, with Mr. Xiao interrupting their talk.

"Ahhh, Wang Yibo, don't be angry. You are such a handsome young man. Our zhanzhan is bound to get jealous of you"

Placing the desserts on the table, Mr. and Mrs. Xiao took theirs seats opposite to them.

"How was the food, Yibo?", the older man asked.

 _"Very delicious. You are the best cook. I've got to take from you the recipe of all of these dishes, uncle"_ , Yibo sincerely appreciated.

"As if you will be able to prepare them", Xiao Zhan poked Yibo's waist. The latter did not react and kept looking smilingly at the couple.

"Have a spoonful of the desserts and tell me how do they taste", Mr. Xiao said.

Xiao Zhan, once again, tried to laugh and pat Yibo softly on _his_ back. "Dad, he is tired. Spare him of all these tortures. He will get a stomach ache tonight"

Yibo gave a nonchalant shrug and picked up a piece of Osmanthus jelly with _his_ chopstick and smiled softly. _"Thanks for the great dinner. I am already full but for you, uncle and aunty, here is the last bite that I am still capable of devouring"_ , _he_ said putting the food into _his_ mouth, chewing it slowly.

Xiao Zhan could clearly understand that Yibo was knowingly disregarding him and whatever he was saying addressing _him_. This amused the elder one for an unknown reason and he could not hold back a cute chuckle.

 _"What are you laughing for?"_ , Yibo glanced sideways, eyebrows knitted together in a little frown.

"Your fury appears winsome to me", another lovely smile played on Xiao Zhan's giggling face.

The sound of a mobile ringing could be heard from a distance. Mrs. Xiao was exhilarated by the notification of the incoming call.

"Zhanzhan, that must be your grandmother. I left the phone upstairs. Go bring the phone, fast"

"Mom, my legs..."

"Else who will go? Don't you have a heart zhanzhan that will be a bit more considerate of your aged mother's weak knees and her..."

"Okay, okay... Stop whining. I am going"

Xiao Zhan lazily got up from the chair and sluggishly dragged himself up the steps of the stairs. Staring at the retreating figure, Yibo's lips curled up and he shook his head, letting out an audibly suppressed laugh.

 _"Stupid and Lazy... Foolish man"_ , _he_ mumbled.

A silent exchange of glances and a slight nod at each other was all that Mr. and Mrs. Xiao needed to read the expressions on each other's faces. Their gazes, once again, landed on the person sitting in front, smiling to himself.

"Errmm... Yibo", Mrs. Xiao started to initiate a conversation.

 _"Mn?"_ , Yibo looked up.

"Since zhanzhan is not here, let me make the best use of this opportunity and ask you something in private. Promise me that you won't let him know"

Yibo nodded in approval.

"What do you think about his partner?", she asked.

_"Huh?"_

"Tsk, his partner. The one who he is dating. What are his plans on marriage?"

It appeared as if the felicity in the eyes of the younger person dissipated at an instant and a veil of invisible heartache covered _his_ beaming face. _He_ gazed down at the bits of leftover food on _his_ plate and whispered in an almost inaudible tone. _"I don't know who is he dating. We never talked about it"_

"Is it? I thought that you are his best friend so you would be the first person knowing what is going in his heart", Mr. Xiao tried to explain.

Yibo looked up to meet the couple's pair of eyes observing him.

_"No, aunty. I have no idea. You should ask him by yourself if he is dating anybody"_

"And you think he will tell me? I am having a feel that he has recently broken up"

 _"Why?"_ , Yibo was surprised.

**"ssshhh... don't tell anybody. While he was taking a shower, I tried peeping into his mobile and there was no body, except you, in his call log, message list. Even his photo gallery has either his own shoot pics, sent to him by his manager or your pics downloaded from the internet, also the screenshots from your last dramas and movies and clips of your advertisement shoots, your interview segments"**

"My pics and interviews?"

"Yes, the recent award function that you both attended, two weeks before. He has downloaded a lot of your pictures from the internet"

The words escaping Mrs. Xiao's mouth, revealing how Xiao Zhan had been keeping a close watch on _him_ during the past two years, saving every picture and video of _him_ , caught Yibo by extreme astonishment.

It was true that the elder had already confessed that he used to check on his movies and other works but going to the length of even storing those stuffs in his mobile, when there was clearly no possibility that they would come to good talking terms ever again, the younger one might not had expected that.

Yibo's brain stuttered all the while as Mrs. Xiao went on explaining to him why she thought that _he_ would be the one to have been aware of every happening in the elder's life as _he_ was the only one Xiao Zhan had always been paying attention to and allowing into his privacy.

"Yibo, don't tell him okay that his mother was secretly checking on his phone. I know this is wrong but under certain circumstances, wrong deeds are very much required to be done", Mr. Xiao winked.

_"How... how do you know his lock screen password?"_

**"Well I guessed. I mean he normally keeps those simple combinations as 1234, 4321. Neither worked, so it has to be a set of numbers that he won't forget easily. His birthdate did not work. Yours did"**

_"But he could have set either of your birthdates too as his password, isn't it?",_ the feeling of curiosity was distinctly etched on Yibo's face as he impatiently waited for an answer.

 **"He could have"** , Mr. Xiao said. **"but he did not"**. He smiled at the young man before adding, **"it's you who he chose"**

Yibo kept silent. Xiao Zhan's parents read the confusion lingering in _his_ eyes.

 **"It's strange, right Yibo?"** , Mrs. Xiao said. **"We too feel this zhanzhan is unfamiliar to us and we too are curious about why is it you and not us"**

"I don't know anything about all these", Yibo shook his head as if trying to convince himself that they mean nothing. Xiao Zhan, out of natural instinct, had set his friend's birthday as his password. It should not mean anything else.

 _"No one can guess that he has set my birthday as his password. So, he may have chosen to use that"_ , Yibo reasoned with himself.

"And no one can guess that his laptop's password can be **'yibowang97'** ", Mr. Xiao laughed.

 _"Oh"_ , Yibo whispered looking down, not letting the other's catch the sudden onset of pain across _his_ face.

**"Zhanzhan once used to say that he shared all his secrets with you. Both of your screenplays of life look changed. His secret holder has now become one of his secrets"**

Unable to figure out how to react, Yibo let out a shaky smile, hiding the heavy feeling taking over _his_ chest.

They said nothing more as Xiao Zhan returned to the dining room, by then, with an exhausted look on his face, complaining noisily.

"Where do you keep your mobile Mom? I had a hard time looking for it and finally I found it inside the wardrobe. What the hell!"

"Shut up! I was busy arranging the clothes and putting them inside. It might be then that I had mistakenly kept my phone along with the dresses. No need of blaming me over petty issues", Mrs. Xiao mother made a face while her husband and son laughed at her.

Xiao Zhan turned his head to look at the person beside him, still and quiet as a statue, looking down at his own closed fist placed on his hand.

"Yibo", he called. The person addressed did not look up, making it evident that he was so lost in his thoughts that he did not even hear the elder one calling him.

Xiao Zhan stretched out his hand and laid it upon _his_ , caressing _his_ knuckles. Yibo's gaze finally lifted and settled on his face.

"What happened? What are you thinking?", the elder asked.

 _"Nothing"_ , Yibo shook his head.

"Is there anything bothering you? How may I help you?"

_"Why do you want to help?"_

The question caught Xiao Zhan unguarded. He could not figure out immediately, how to respond. So, he quietly tightened his grip on the other's hand.

"If you are done eating, go to bed"

Yibo obviously did not like him avoiding _his_ question and that could clearly be understood from the look of his mesmerizing eyes that now appeared downhearted.

The younger one took _his_ hand away from the other's grip and got up from _his_ seat.

_"Thank you, uncle and aunty. I will like to go and take rest. I feel sleepy"_

Mr. and Mrs. Xiao nodded and with that Yibo left.

Xiao Zhan kept sitting at the table, staring blankly at his parents.

"What happened?", he asked.

"How will we know what happened?", his father shrugged and focused on eating.

"Mom, why did he leave like that?", Xiao Zhan asked again.

"Isn't that something yours to find out?", his mother answered. "Go and ask him"

It took Xiao Zhan, barely three seconds to process the four words into his mind before he got up and ran, out of the dining room, after Yibo.

His parents paused eating and looked at each other, letting out a deep sigh.

"Did you notice?"

"I did. I just wanted to confirm", Xiao Zhan's mother gave a nod.

"When did they plan to think like this?"

"Love is not something people plan, it happens"

Yibo was hurriedly climbing up the stairs, ignoring the fast footsteps behind _him_ that he could clearly hear but still chose not to look back. _His_ movements came to a forced halt when _he_ felt _his_ hand being pulled from behind, warm fingers clasped around _his_ wrist.

 _He_ did not have to turn around to recognize the familiar touch against _his_ skin.

"Yibo, what happened?"

 _"Why do you care?"_ , the younger one jerked the elder's hand off him.

The movements of Xiao Zhan's facial muscles went rigid, at once, hearing the bitterness in the other's voice and he bit his lower lip to hide its quivering.

 _"I asked you why do you pretend to be worried about me? ...... Yibo this, Yibo that... All time Yibo, Yibo, Yibo... who do you think you are?"_ , Yibo went out of breath and paused to inhale.

_"Don't... don't download my pictures and stop stalking me. These are the stuffs crazy fangirls do for me. I don't need them in my life and I don't need you too either, do you understand Xiao Zhan?"_

Xiao Zhan kept standing on the stair steps, dumbfounded. The harshness in the other's behavior was rising like a bile in his mouth, that he was swallowing repeatedly. His eyes stung with unshed tears, yet he did not break down crying. Why would he cry? He had learned how to hide pain, how to look normal.

"Yibo, calm down. What did I do? Why are you angry with me? Look I am sorry if I have hurt you but I swear it must be unintentional. Tell me how to abate your rage?". He extended his hand and tried to approach the younger one, once again.

Yibo, immediately, climbed a step up, distancing himself from the elder's vicinity.

"Yibo... come here", Xiao Zhan spread both of his arms wide at him, inviting him into a hug.

 _"No"_ , Yibo sternly replied.

"Why?"

**_"Who am I to you?"_ **

Xiao Zhan's stretched out arms fell slowly along the length of his body and he tore his gaze, unable to look at the younger one direct into _his_ eyes. He did not know how to respond.

**_"What are we, Zhan-ge?"_ **

"......"

**_"You don't have an answer, right? Neither did you have an answer two years before, nor do you have it now. You will never be able to answer me. I don't even expect you to give me any clarification of your acts. All I request you is to stop doing these. Don't do them anymore. Don't force me into assuming something that will break my own heart in the end. It may be a matter of fun for you but not for me"_ **

Yibo turned back. **_"Don't come after me"_** , _he_ said and walked away. This time Xiao Zhan was rooted to the spot, having no strength left in him to go after his heart, who he referred to as his friend.

To be continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe, despite being a sweet novel lover, I am writing too much angst recently. Although these are mild yet I cannot deny that our boys are suffering almost every day.  
> Anyway, before you start throwing rotten eggs at me, please wait for the next chapter.


	17. Love Is You

Closing the door of the room and turning out the lights, Yibo went straight to bed. Tucking himself properly under the blankets, _he_ buried _his_ head into the pillows and let out a sorrowful low and weary groan. Squeezing _his_ eyes shut _his_ mind wanted to forget all the thoughts and feelings, those that were a tumble of confusion.

He heard a light knock at the door... once, twice... _he_ patiently waited for the sound to repeat itself once again. It did. A few more times. Yibo did not respond. _He_ knew who was there standing at the other side of the door.

Yibo wanted to hate himself for recognizing the elder's presence on the other side of a closed door, without even having to check on him. _He_ anticipated a few more knockings and calling out of _his_ name but neither came. Xiao Zhan must be gone.

Yibo felt a bitter pain exploding in _his_ chest. _He_ wanted to scream out, _he_ wanted to vomit. But _he_ lay still, waiting for the eagerness and agony inside _his_ head and heart to subside.

For the second time in what seemed as many hours, there was again a knock at the door.

"I am entering Yibo", Xiao Zhan's voice was heard.

Yibo pulled the blanket above _his_ head and pretended to lay in unmoving slumber like a fallen mannequin. The other person quietly entered the room and switched on the lights to spot the younger one lying on the bed. The brightness was penetrating through the blankets causing irritation and discomfort and Yibo wanted to yell at Xiao Zhan.

Surprisingly, the lights went off, as if the elder person heard what was going on in the other's head. Yibo heard the sound of a switch being pressed from somewhere closer to _him_ and it was not difficult to guess that Xiao Zhan had turned on the table lamp, the dim light of which, gradually illuminated the dark room.

Yibo kept waiting for something that _he_ himself was unable to figure out. _He_ felt the bed beside him dipped as Xiao Zhan got under _his_ blanket, wrapping one arm tightly around _his_ waist.

Yibo's breath hitched in _his_ throat as the elder shifted closer to him with his chest present against the younger's back.

"Yibo, don't stay angry like this. I won't be able to sleep tonight if you don't tell me why are you sad. When will you understand, Yibo, that you matter to me so much? I never want to trouble you. I am sorry for the cause that made you upset, whatever it may be"

Tears welled up from deep inside and coursed down Yibo's face, soaking into the pillow, like a river escaping a dam. _He_ pressed _his_ lips tight, suppressing the sob rising from _his_ throat.

"What do you want Yibo? Ask for it once. I will give you, I promise"

"......"

"Yibo", Xiao Zhan rested his chin on Yibo's neck, when the latter was still lying motionless, and continued, "Hey... you foolish boy. I want to fight with you now. I want to punch you, hit you and... okay you can hit me now. I won't hit you back, alright? You can strangle my neck and... are you listening to me? Wake up... don't sleep... puppy, puppy, puppy"

Yibo held Xiao Zhan's wrist that was wrapped around _his_ waist and removed it from _him_ as _he_ sat up on the bed. _He_ took in a deep breath and now appeared physically calm compared to how tangled _his_ mind was, at the moment. Xiao Zhan too sat up beside _him_.

"Yibo", the elder one once again tried to encircle his arm around the other's waist, shifting closer to _him_. "Baby, what happened?"

Yibo pushed him aside and got down from the bed.

_"Zhan-ge, you want to be clear about what happened to me, right?"_

Xiao Zhan felt utterly confused and could only nod his head.

_"The things you do like keeping my birthdate as your passwords, sticking by me all throughout the day, saving my pictures in your mobile, sitting closer to me... these are the things which normal friends don't do, do you not understand this?"_

"Why?"

_"What why? These are the things which I do not expect from you. Certain limitations are there and we both should respectfully stay on either side of the line in between us and try not to cross them"_

"You are mine, Yibo, aren't you? Why can't I?"

_"Yours? Yours what? Friend? Best friend, right? Is that what you will say now? Best friend... best friend... best friend... stop doing that, for fuck's sake. Stop getting close to me in the name of friendship. **It robs me off my mental peace and I want to assume that you love me** "_

"......"

**_"Do you hear me? I will assume that you have fallen in love with me to give me more importance than anybody else. I will start to assume that after all these years, finally you too have started considering me the way, I have always been considering you"_ **

"What do you mean by 'too'?"

 ** _" 'too' refers to me and my freaking emotion, dammit. Please, don't enter into my space. Let me live. I want to live and I want to give myself a chance to settle my life with someone who will be able to reciprocate my feelings"_** _,_ Yibo yelled.

"......"

 ** _"Qui Ying was planning on setting up a date with one of her friends. Thinking about you, I had rejected. But it's of no use, I realize. I was assuming God-knows-what nonsense and...",_** Yibo inhaled, trying to calm himself down. **_"Zhan-ge, just give me some time. Let me clear the mess in my head and I promise I will be normal. I am not blaming you for anything... just requesting you to stop doing certain things that kills me from within"_**

Xiao Zhan's heart was pounding at a rapid space inside his chest. A look of puzzlement and dejection crossed his face and he kept staring at the other person standing at the edge of the bed.

Seconds flew in between them. Neither of them voiced out anything. Yibo slowly walked inside the bathroom.

Once the bathroom door was shut closed, Xiao Zhan pulled out his phone from inside his pocket and tried unlocking it.

**'5897'**

His fingers trembled and a solemn tear fell down his cheek. Pressing a fist to his mouth, he swallowed the rising sob and changed the lock screen password of his mobile.

A few minutes later, Yibo returned and laid down on the bed, under the blankets. They exchanged no more words. Xiao Zhan thought if he should go out and sleep in the other room. But his adamant heart wanted otherwise and it took over his brain. Sometime later, he switched off the table lamp and laid down on the bed beside Yibo, under the same blanket.

Both of them laid still on the two opposite sides of the bed, throughout the night, with their backs facing each other.

Who knew when did they sleep or they even slept at all or not? Early in the morning, Xiao Zhan was dozing off a little, when the faint sound of someone moving around the room brought him back to full consciousness. He did not open his eyes, rather stayed still, trying to figure out what Yibo was doing.

The elder continued pretending to sleep while the younger one was packing his bag. After a while, Xiao Zhan sensed the sound of approaching footsteps that stopped, as soon as the other person reached the bed. He felt Yibo's hand holding his fingers carefully, not wanting to wake him up.

 ** _"Zhan-ge"_** , Yibo bent down and whispered beside his ears.

 ** _"Zhan-ge, I am sorry"_**. _his_ smooth palm began caressing Xiao Zhan's cheek in a way the latter felt pleasant.

**_"Ge, I am going. But, don't you worry. I will definitely get back in touch with you"_ **

The elder felt a thumb tip delicately ran over his eyebrows.

**_"I am sorry gege... for fighting with you... for loving you. I won't love you again, I will try my best not to. You don't have to feel embarrassed. My mind is in a mess but that's my personal problem. I feel for you, I desire you, those are my concern. You are not involved in this and I don't blame you, my love"_ **

The back of _his_ knuckles rubbed softly against Xiao Zhan's jawline.

**_"Yibo can give up anything for his Zhan-ge. My ego, my determination, everything. If you are so willing to cross this barrier, without loving me back, I won't stop you. I will break down this boundary built in between us. You are allowed to do anything you wish to. I will never again raise my voice at you. If I can't do this much for you, what kind of love do I have for you?"_ **

Xiao Zhan heard a soft chuckle beside his ear and Yibo's warm breath fell on the bare skin of his neck.

**_"Stay healthy. Take care of yourself... and let me tell you this for the last time"_ **

Yibo took a pause. Xiao Zhan was wholly awake and extremely cautious not to make any sound or movement.

He felt Yibo's face closer to his as the younger's nose lightly brushed against the corner of the elder's eye and then... Xiao Zhan felt a hand cupping his neck and a soft and warm pair of lips pressed against the cold skin of his cheek.

He felt as if the peck had blown life into his otherwise lifeless body. Xiao Zhan drew a deep and staggered breath in response to the wave of heat he sensed flushing through him.

 ** _"I Love You, Xiao Zhan"_** , and with that the figure that was leaned against him, providing him a feel of home, distanced himself. Xiao Zhan's whole body craved him and a sudden onset of cold and loneliness engulfed his inner core.

He kept lying on the bed, with eyes tightly shut together as he listened to the bedroom door being opened and then closed.

A whimper escaped from within him in response to how he was feeling. He was breathing heavier. A tidal wave of dejection churned within him and he pressed both his palms against his face, letting out a loud mournful sob from his heart. Unable to hold himself back any longer, his grief began pouring out in a flood of uncontrollable salty water breaking out of his eyes. His whole body wracked with an onslaught of unrestrained tears, tightening his throat. The torment resulted from his throbbing heart escaped his lips in the form of suppressed hiccups.

After around two more hours, while Xiao Zhan was still lying on the bed in the same position, staring blankly at the opposite wall, his phone vibrated, notifying the arrival of a new SMS. He picked up his mobile.

7:30 am, he checked the time. Yibo had left as early as 5:30. He really was in a hurry!

After two repeated failed attempts of trying to unlock the device using his old password, he finally remembered to have changed the unlocking code some hours before and only then could he have access to his mobile.

Yibo's message popped up on the screen.

"Sorry for unable to inform you earlier. It is urgent and so I have to return today itself. I have already cancelled tomorrow's flight ticket. You don't have to worry about that. I will call you later at night. Take care of yourself. Bye"

Xiao Zhan eyes remained stuck on the screen, re-reading the lie that Yibo had written to him.

"It's urgent. It's urgent for you... indeed. You had to urgently escape", he let out a snigger.

"I was being pathetic. So, you decided to teach me a lesson. Nice... nice way of loving me. You punished me. I am suffering right"

Yibo's confession _'I Love You, Xiao Zhan'_ was still ringing in his ears, over and over. He brought his thumb and forefinger towards his closed eyes and pressed on his eyeballs lightly, rubbing away the fresh tears that had accumulated inside them.

It did not help much as more tears welled up and fell down along the side of his face into the pillow. He could not help feeling empty from within.

Amidst pouring the soreness of his achy heart out, he could only think of ' _I Love You, Xiao Zhan'_ , the words that were set to his ears.

 **"I do too"** , he murmured to himself.

No... he was not in a state of unconsciousness. Neither had he mistaken his feelings, nor had he unthinkingly exposed his bare heart. Knowing fully well what he was saying and what that could mean, he added, **"You are the fire that was lit to mold me. You ask for nothing but, this time, let me give you everything"**

The following morning the whole family was taking tea into the drawing room where they were sitting together. Mrs. Xiao's eyes caught attention of a few pictures and video clips on the hot topic list as she scrolling the Weibo page.

"Oh, I am glad that Yibo had informed his agency earlier. The bodyguards came for him. See there are pics of him at the Shanghai airport. He landed safely"

She held her phone in front of Xiao Zhan, who took a quick glance at it from the corner of his eyes but made reaction on it.

"Will the fans ever let him even walk in peace? Goodness! Look at the caption... Nation's Heart-throb spotted after 14 days... see, see he can't even stand properly, in the crowd. Poor boy"

Xiao Zhan continued sipping on his tea silently as his mother continued, "It would have been so good if he could spend some more time with us. One night is too less. I could not even feed the little boy at my heart's will"

"For God's sake the boy is twenty-five years old Mom... stop it please", Xiao Zhan, all of a sudden, let the comment out of his clenched heart in an angry tone. "He can take his own decisions and feed himself as required. You don't have to think about him. Moreover, he is in the acting industry. He needs to maintain his figure and stay healthy. Why do you think he will need you or me to take...", unable to hold stinginess inside him any longer, he broke down, busting into a fit of tears, sobbing loudly.

His father, who was sitting on the opposite sofa, walked over to sit beside him, pulling him tightly in a hug, patting his hair comfortingly.

"My child. What happened? Why is my baby so upset?"

His mother grew anxious as his cries grew in volume. She kept rubbing his arms tenderly waiting for him to calm down.

After a while, when his sobs subsided, Xiao Zhan let out a huge sigh and pulled away from his father's arms only to place his head on the old man's shoulder.

"Dad", he called.

"Is my boy tired?"

"Hmm"

"ZhanZhan, do you feel okay now?", his mother asked.

"Hmm", Xiao Zhan could only nod.

The three of them remained quiet for many minutes, lost in their own thoughts. Their minds were racing, thoughts jumbled.

Mrs. Xiao finally decided to break the silence as she hooked her finger beneath her son's chin, making him turn his head to look at her.

**" _He_ makes you happy, isn't it?"**

A wave of emotion ran over him at her simple words, as he did not know how to handle it. A pool of tears gathered in his eyes without any prior notice and before he could hold them back, they started to flow without pause.

Clearly his throat, Xiao Zhan's gaze met his mother's as he verbally made his sentiment clear.

**"Yes, _he_ does. _He_ gives me the best feeling in this world"**

"What?"

**"Everytime I look at _him_ , I find _him_ already staring"**

"We know", his father assured.

To be continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Update: On 24th or 25th because I have an exam 😒😑


	18. On My Way To You

"Stop meddling in your phone, zhanzhan and eat", Xiao Zhan's mother reminded him for the fifth time, looking at the plate of almost untouched food placed in front of him.

Xiao Zhan did not respond and continued typing the 31st message on Yibo's WeChat inbox.

'I am sorry. Please don't stay mad anymore. Give me a call... please, Bo' and he pressed the sent button.

"Did _he_ reply to your previous messages?", Mr. Xiao asked.

"No"

"Did _he_ even read them?"

"No"

"Then why are you texting _him_ again?"

"In case _he_ opens and reads, _he_ will know I am worried", the already sad face of Xiao Zhan appeared more blank and rayless as he replied.

"Didn't _he_ say that he will call you yesterday at night?"

"He did say that but I never heard from him since he left". A deep pause followed, during which Xiao Zhan rested one of his elbows on the table, supporting his head with his hand, seemingly plunged in thoughts.

"Why is _he_ not calling me back? It's already afternoon. More than 30 hours have passed". Closing his eyes, Xiao Zhan took in some deep breaths, trying to let his tensions melt away.

" _He_ is angry. _He_ must be very angry, isn't it, mom? What shall I do?", sudden overwhelming fear took over him and he panicked.

"Zhanzhan, calm down my child. Why don't you try calling _his_ manager?", his mother proposed.

"No, no... I can't call his manager. _His_ agency will rip him apart with all the nonsensical enquiries, if they know _he_ took such a long vacation only to be with me. No one, except Qui Ying knows that _he_ was with me during... wait... Qui Ying", the name struck Xiao Zhan and despite all his jealousy and crazy thoughts regarding Qui Ying's presence in Yibo's life, he still could not deny the fact that she was the only person who might be aware of Yibo's whereabouts.

Xiao Zhan hesitated to call her. Even the thought of calling her and asking her about Yibo made his heart crunch with envy. Why did it have to be her, out of all people, who mattered to Yibo so much?

The elder's brain gave up. He could think no more of those things which never did anything but increase his anxiousness. He dialed Yibo's number once again for the umpteenth time.

It rang... and it kept on ringing and no body received.

"Damm, _he_ isn't even rejecting my calls. All are going unanswered", he muttered, frustratingly.

"Neither will you be able to eat nor will you be able to sleep. Call his friend and ask her where is he", Mrs. Xiao suggested.

"She is not his friend", Xiao Zhan knitted his eyebrows.

"Whoever she is, call her... you silly boy"

Somedays before Yibo had once called Qui Ying from Xiao Zhan's mobile since _his_ own phone was running out of battery, the elder remembered and scrolled down his call log to look for her contact.

Once he found what he was searching for, brushing away all his hesitations, he touched the Call option and pressed his phone to his year.

A few seconds later, a sweet voice could be heard greeting him from the other side.

_"Xiao Zhan gege. Good afternoon. How are you doing?"_

"Ummm... yeahh I am fine... Good afternoon to you too. How about you?"

 _"I am good. What happened, why did you call?"_ , Qui Ying understood Xiao Zhan would not be calling her just to ask about her well-being, especially when she had already heard from Yibo that the elder was introverted by nature. Also, they were not quite well acquainted with each other to chat over phone.

"Well", Xiao Zhan cleared his voice. "I wanted to ask you if you heard from Yibo since yesterday... I mean I am unable to get in touch with him"

 _"Oh, is that it? I am sorry Xiao Zhan gege. I did not talk to him today, neither yesterday... oh wait, he had sent me a few texts yesterday afternoon around 1:30 pm, informing me that he had arrived at Shanghai to register for the upcoming XYZ tournament... uhh sorry I forgot the name..."_ , she giggled softly.

"Mega Championship Bike Race 2022", Xiao Zhan reminded, smiling back back.

_"Oh yes... and he said he was going to take lunch and would meet his coach after that and they would go to the... I don't know what are they called... the wooded areas where people practice racing... anyway he would be starting his practice"_

A long sad look appeared on Xiao Zhan's face as he realized that he was not aware of even half of Yibo's regular work routine and here Qui Ying got updated of every single detail.

Fortunately, _he_ had contacted her and let her know that _he_ was safe. Xiao Zhan felt a small measure of relief. At least someone was aware of what was _he_ eating and where was _he_ going, even if that person was not Xiao Zhan himself.

He sadly chuckled to himself. **Priority mattered! He could have been in the place Qui Ying was now but he realized his own priority quite late.**

When Yibo said that _he_ would never love him again, he might be serious about it! The elder's heart throbbed painfully inside his chest at the thought.

Gulping down the rising emotion in his throat, Xiao Zhan asked, "So, did you reply _him_ back?"

 _"Yes, I replied to him in between. I asked about your health and why he had to return a day earlier..."_ , Qui Ying abruptly stopped talking as if she said something which she should not had and was now making a failed attempt to take her words back.

"What did _he_ say?", Xiao Zhan asked.

_"Nothing... nothing"_

"Qui Ying, please tell me what did _he_ say? Why did he have to return earlier?"

 ** _"He said... he..."_** , Qui Ying took a pause in between. **_"He said you don't..."_**

 **"I don't what? Did _he_ say that I don't love _him_?"**, Xiao Zhan questioned.

**_"He also said that he felt emotionally exhausted"_ **

**"Ex... exhausted? ... with me? ... emotionally?"**

**_"Yes"_ **

Xiao Zhan sighed. "Offcourse... I was unable to take proper care of _him_. You must be the only one who cherishes _him_ the way _he_ desires to be cherished. So, _he_ tells you everything, isn't it?", he felt his throat burning as he inhaled.

 _"He truly deserves to be loved, don't you think, Xiao Zhan gege?"_ , Qui Ying replied.

"Then why were you planning on setting _him_ up date with a friend of yours when you can yourself do it the best".

Xiao Zhan himself did not realize why he asked the question, all of a sudden without giving it a second thought. It must had sounded so rude. Almost instantly, he wanted to apologize for his behavior. Qui Ying was Yibo's friend and no matter how emotionally instable the elder's mind was, she was not at fault and not to be blamed. She deserved nothing but respect.

"I am sorry Qui Ying. I did not mean... I mean please don't mind my..."

 _"Huh?"_ , she sounded surprised as she cut _his_ words. _"He told you about the date that he rejected? He asked me never to let anybody know about. Only TaiYu and me are aware of it"_

"Yes, _he_ told me but... who is TaiYu?", Xiao Zhan asked.

 _"TaiYi is my fiancé. Actually, the girl he was talking about is not my friend. She is my would-be sister in law. Also, I did not set up a date for him. The girl herself asked him out and he refused. I just gave his contact number to her and informed Yibo earlier that she is interested in him and would be contacting him soon"_ , she revealed.

"What... what? Your fiancé... you have a... oh my god!"

The words that he just heard; Xiao Zhan gasped at her response. An appalled silence followed while he kept holding onto the phone in a dazed manner.

How much had he misapprehended Yibo! How much had he argued with the poor boy over something which had always been non-existent? **The lack of communication, the unwillingness to have a straightforward talk only added to the misunderstandings in between them.**

It looked like he had got it all wrong. Right from the first day, he had been wrong. Xiao Zhan regretted.

Yibo was a very private man, he knew and almost everybody mistook this for _his_ unfriendliness. For once, _he_ had made a friend with who he used to share his thoughts and all that Xiao Zhan did was misjudging the situation.

 _"Xiao Zhan gege... are you there?"_ , Qui Ying's voice brought the elder person back from his chain of thoughts.

"Yeah... I am sorry I was..."

 _"I know you are worried"_ , she took a pause before asking, _"May I give you a small advice?"_

"Hmm... what is it?"

_"We don't know each other, yet you called me to ask about him which is something which you normally don't do, isn't it?"_

"No, actually... it's nothing serious. I was just wondering where did _he_ disappear. Now that I have heard that you talked to _him_ yesterday, I feel a bit of relief"

 ** _"Still, I will suggest you, please let Yibo know that his Zhan-ge has been restless for a whole day, worrying about him"_** , Qui Ying said.

Xiao Zhan could practically hear her smiling on the line.

 ** _"Xiao Zhan gege"_** , Qui Ying added, **_"The next time you see him, tell him that you have set the unlock code of your mobile, laptop as well as your heart as 'Wang Yibo'. He should know that he has someone who cherishes and cares for him more than not only me but everyone else in this world"_**, she giggled politely.

"You know about the password? _He_ sure tells you everything"

 _"Not everything but many things about you"_ , she said.

"But will _he_..."

**_"He will be happy, trust me. You know him more than me. Hundreds and thousand times more than how much I will ever be able to learn about him, in this life time. Do you know why?"_ **

"Why?", his voice subdued and whispered as he asked.

**_"Because I know only that part of him which he willingly shows me. But you? ... you have always been different. I cannot look at him and say when he is happy or sad or in need of anything, considering his 24 hours expressionless face. But you can, don't you? He used to tell me before that it is a mystery to him, how by taking a small glance at him, you can know if he is hungry or thirsty"_ **

"Hmmm", the elder let out a sigh.

**_"Yibo's Zhan-ge, who have always known that boy inside out, who have always cosseted him, who have always revered and admired him... this Zhan-ge is irreplaceable for him, just like Yibo is irreplaceable for you"_ **

Xiao Zhan kept silent, unable to figure out what to say next.

**_"I know he ran away from you, in order to avoid you. But you should know that the thing he craves for and the thing he fears, both are the same. They both are you"_ **

Focusing his gaze on his plate of food, he unknowingly scratched his nose tip lightly with his forefinger.

**"I too crave for _him_. I live on the reflections of myself in the eyes of _him_ "**

_"Then you should talk to him and blame him for getting you addicted to himself"_

"I will". A delicate sweetness from within him reached his voice. "I am sorry Qui Ying"

_"For what"_

"There are many reasons. I had messed up my mind because of my own baseless assumptions"

 _"That's alright. You don't have to explain. If you want to apologize for something then I am accepting your apology, Yibo's baobao"_ , she laughed out loud.

"What?", the elder laughed back. "You know this too?"

_"I know pretty much everything. I am his elder cousin sister's best friend. That makes him my brother too besides being a very dear friend of mine"_

"That's true", Xiao Zhan was happy to finally acknowledge their relationship with pure respect and admiration in his heart.

_"And at this moment, I know how much you wish to talk to Yibo. Don't worry, I will call his manager and ask her about him. I hope you did not call her"_

"No. I haven't. I know not many are aware of us getting back in talking terms again"

_"Only talking terms? You guys have literally patched up after a separation track of two whole years"_

"Haha, I think you are right"

_"Okay, you please calm down. I will right now call BoBo's manager and inform you what she said"_

"Thank you". With that Xiao Zhan hang up the phone.

**Letting out a huge breath, he rocked back and forth in the chair. This phone conversation was necessary, he knew. Certain things, even if people feel reluctant to do it for the first time, still needed to be done for the best.**

**His talking with Qui Ying gave him a huge sense of comfort. It had eased the achiness of his tangled spirit to a great extent and above all, it taught him the big lesson, never to let minds draw conclusions from suppositions.**

"Is _he_ alright?", Mr. Xiao asked.

"I hope _he_ is. I have to tell _him_ something. I am sure he is fine. _He_ needs to hear me", Xiao Zhan smilingly replied.

Lying on the bed Xiao Zhan was anxiously waiting for Qui Ying's call. She had told him that she would call him back in half an hour. It had been more than hour but neither any call nor any message came.

'Why is everyone out of reach today?'. He thought to himself as he opened Yibo's WeChat inbox once again to type a new message, with 31 texts already sitting there, waiting to be read.

'Yibo... I have so many things to tell you. When are we going to meet? I am so thrilled even at the thought of seeing you again. I swear I won't fight with you this time.

Okay... this is not a sincere promise though, because I don't know if I can control my urge to punch you and then hug you as soon as I see you before me.

I have something to tell you when we will stand in front of each other, alright?

Please text me back when you see my messages and also remember to give me a call.

Your baobao will be waiting for you'

And he touched the sent option. The message was delivered.

Blushes are the rainbow of modesty. Blushing is the color of virtue.

If **_Yibo_** could see Xiao Zhan's scratching his head, with his heart racing, making his blood flow faster... if **_Yibo_** could see Xiao Zhan at this moment, opening **_his_** Wechat profile picture and staring at it unblinkingly like a crying child who had just now got the sweetest candy in hand... if **_Yibo_** could see Xiao Zhan lips curved into the most beautiful shy smile while his gaze was soft, **_he_** too would have agreed that the blooming color cutely pressing a kiss against the elder's unblemished skin had the ability to thaw even a frozen heart.

 ** _Yibo_** would have recognized in a heartbeat that this was the only ointment for **_his_** bruised and marred heart.

**Xiao Zhan loved Yibo and Yibo should know that. _He_ deserved to know.**

Xiao Zhan's phone rang. The screen displayed Qui Ying's name.

With his lips stretched into a smile, he received the call.

"You said you will call me within 30 mins. It has been more than an hour. Where were you?", he started with a fake complaint in a sweet tone.

 _"Xiao Zhan gege, there... there is a problem"_ , came the reply in a nervous tone. Xiao Zhan did not miss her trembling voice

"What happened?"

_"Just a few minutes before Yibo's manager called me back. I was unable to reach her over phone for a long time as she was not receiving any call because they don't want to let anybody know of it, yet, as it may create a huge ruckus of his fans outside of the hospital"_

"Hos... Hospital? Hospital? Why?", Xiao Zhan's voice shook and he stuttered.

_"Yesterday while they were returning from practice, Yibo's car collided with a truck on the Highway"_

"......"

_"Xiao Zhan gege?"_

The person referred to did not reply. Hearing the news his breathing had paused.

In an unsteady voice, he replied after a moment. "Which hospital?"

To be continued...


	19. A Heart Needs A Beat [1]

Upon entering the VIP parking lot of the hospital, as the driver slowed the car gently, Xiao Zhan at once noticed Wang Yibo’s Management Company Yuehua Entertainment’s CEO, Du Hua, standing by her car, near the VIP entrance of the building, talking to a few people. He instantly recognized the faces of the men to be the bodyguards who were usually seen with Yibo.

No sooner did the car come to a halt, than Xiao Zhan jumped out of it to rush towards the people standing at a distance.

The sound of the entry of the car and the familiar lean and tall figure running breathlessly in their direction did steal their attention for a moment as Du Hua turned towards her side, eyes widening while noticing the unexpected arrival of the nation’s one of the most popular celebrity over there, without any arrangement of strict security surrounding the place.

“Where is _he_?”, Xiao Zhan panicked as he reached them.

Du Hua bowed at him slightly, “Meeing you after a decade. Greetings first”

“Is _he_ alright? Where is _he_ hurt?”, the elder sounded distressed.

“Good evening, Xiao Zhan… oh, rather I should be saying Good Night because it’s already past 10:30”. Du Hua glanced at her wrist watch.

“I asked, where is _he_?”, Xiao Zhan raised his voice.

“Who?”

“Listen, enough of your nonsense. Because of you and all those bloody people around there, my life, my sanity, rather both of our lives are in a state of mess”. He paused a little, lowering his voice, “Just tell me the room number”

Du Hua kept staring at Xiao Zhan for a while the latter was growing restless with every passing second.

“You should not have come here, Xiao Zhan. I was not expecting to see you after all these years”

Xiao Zhan took in a deep breath. “If you don’t want to create a scene over here that would make tomorrow’s headlines on the newspapers, speak fast”

“ _He_ is not here”

“What?”

“ _He_ received first aid and went back home”

“Home? Is he not admitted here? Her manager said”

“They both were injured. But neither of them received any grave injury. _He_ was here for some time but I sent _him_ back”

Xiao Zhan exhaled. “Thank God! I am relieved to hear that _he_ is okay. Where did you send _him_?”

“Don’t go to _him_. The bodyguards are there. I am sending another group of security for _him_ so that _he_ is continuously kept under observation. I don’t want any fan commotion…”

“Tell me where is _he_. I want to see _him_ ”

“Why after all these years? Nothing serious happened because of which you had to come running…”

“Are you expecting me to wait for something fatal to happen and only then shall I come?”, Xiao Zhan gritted his teeth. “I don’t want to lose my composure but your shitty talks are robbing me off the sense that I am talking to a gentlewoman over here”

“Behave, Xiao Zhan”

“You should have behaved two years before. If you had known how to behave, I would not be standing here today to bear your… anyway cut the gibberish. Say, where is _he_ staying now?”

Du Hua sighed. “ _He_ is alright. _He_ has received a few minor injuries but _he_ will recover soon. I have doctors who will go and check on _him_ every day. _He_ does not need you to visit _him_ at the late hours of night”

Xiao Zhan stepped closer to her and bent down to whisper beside her ears. “If you had ever known what _he_ actually needs in life, you would have never asked me to stay away from _him_ for the sake of _his_ career. Stop playing this rotting trick on me. He and me… both of us know how to keep a balance in between our profession and personal lives. Don’t come to teach us”

With that being said, Xiao Zhan stepped back and turned to walk away. Du Hua called him from behind. “Xiao Zhan, if anyone notices you entering _his_ apartment, the haters will really make a big fuss out of it”

He glanced over his shoulder and spoke calmly. “Thanks for letting me know that _he_ is in _his_ apartment. I will take care of the rest”

“But you don’t even have the keys to _his_ house. _He_ might be asleep. Moreover, _he_ is hurt. _He_ cannot come to open the door for you. _His_ manager has the duplicate keys but she is not here. We sent her home too. Just go back for today. I will contact you tomorrow and let you talk to _him_ ”

“I don’t need any key or anyone’s permission to talk to my person. I can visit _him_ whenever I wish to”. And he got inside the black car with his own bodyguards following him hurriedly and the vehicle drove away.

The elevator moved up and stopped at the fifth floor. No one came in. Xiao Zhan quickly adjusted his cap and face mask and pulled forward his black hoodie to hide his face before shoving both his hands into his pockets. The door started to close but he hurriedly stepped outside. Walking silently down the hall he stopped in front of the right apartment at the end.

Staring at the Error Message, being displayed twice on the Digital screen of the Lock attached to the door, Xiao Zhan gently scratched his nose.

He entered the previous password, ****508510**** , that he had always known. It did not work. The owner of the apartment had changed his code. After thinking hard for a minute, he had confidently pressed ****581997****. Once again it was incorrect.

Yibo must be sleeping. _He_ would be disturbed if _he_ continuously got notified about someone entering wrong keys and trying to barge into _his_ house, Xiao Zhan thought.

One last try. His trembling fingers decided to take the risk, knowing fully well that it was most likely improbable, yet he entered… ****100591****.

Unexpectedly the door unlocked with a clicking sound. Xiao Zhan stared at the knob for a few seconds, before sheepishly grinning to himself.

“Stupid”, he muttered and wrenched the door open, stepping inside the apartment and quietly closing it behind him.

It felt like a whole decade had passed ever since he visited this place. He peered closely around the living room. All the light bulbs were left ON, as usual, even at night. Hearing the sound of his own voice, he walked in front of the TV, to see his _Roseonly_ _Flower Brand_ advertisement being shown before the channel resumed telecasting the highlights of an old Golf match. The sound was kept quite loud. Xiao Zhan could never stop wondering how Yibo was in the habit of sleeping amidst all these noises, during the night time.

He picked up the remote from the sofa and turned it OFF, before switching OFF all the lights of the room too, one by one.

He slowly started walking towards the bedroom, the door of which was partially left open. The lights inside were glowing bright. This boy would not even turn off the lights of the room where he was sleeping, the elder thought to himself.

Xiao Zhan pushed open the door quietly, intending not to disturb the person sleeping inside. At the first glance all that he noticed was the unexpected empty bed, the bedsheet was tidy and in unwrinkled condition as if no one had even sat down on it, let alone slept. Furrowing his eyebrows, he looked around the large bedroom and his eyes caught sight of the familiar person standing in the corner of the room with one hand supporting the edge of the small table beside for support and the other hand holding an empty water bottle.

Xiao Zhan took two steps forward but halted as the nervous and widened pair of eyes staring back at him grew bigger. The elder’s eyes traveled down and observed _his_ right knee wrapped with a gauze strip. _His_ right arm, holding the bottle, was bandaged with a fracture snap, _his_ right ankle as well. His left hand and right leg appeared unmutilated, fortunately.

“Relax its me”, lifting his eyes once again to look at the face of the person in front, Xiao Zhan said.

There came no response.

“Hey… it’s me. Why are you scared?”, he gradually resumed moving forward, taking one step at a time. “I opened the door and entered and switched off the lights and TV of the drawing room. It’s me. Is that alright?”

“……”

“Don’t be scared. It’s only me. No one else is here. I checked outside”

Yibo let out the breath _he_ did not know _he_ was holding. Almost immediately, _his_ free hand holding the table for support lifted up to take the empty water bottle, that was previously being held by _his_ injured arm and _he_ threw it at Xiao Zhan.

“Oh, My Gosshh… YIBO”, Xiao Zhan caught the flying bottle in the air before it could hit him.

 _“You madman. Who asked you enter and switch off the lights? I was scared as hell”_. Yibo picked up AC remote from the top of the table and threw it again at the elder person.

“YIBO… stop, stop”, Xiao Zhan did not get a chance to move and he remained fixed at the spot, catching the remote that came for him.

In the next moment, he looked up to notice an empty moisturizer bottle being thrown at him. He had to bent down a little to catch the glass bottle before it could hit the floor and shatter into pieces.

****“STOP THROWING THINGS YIBO”** **

****_“YOU GET OUT OF HERE, FIRST”_ ** **

****“WHY WILL I?** **

****_“WHY WILL YOU NOT?”_ ** **

****“WHAT ARE YOU YELLING FOR?”** **

****_“YOU STARTED SCOWLING FIRST”_ ** **

****“YOU STARTED THROWING THINGS AT ME, FIRST”** **

****_“YOU SCARED ME FIRST”_ ** **

****“WHY DID YOU ATTACK ME WITH THE BOTTLE AND REMOTE?”** **

****_“WHY DID YOU BARGE INTO MY HOUSE WITHOUT TELLING ME?”_ ** **

****“HOW WILL I TELL? WHY WERE YOU NOT PICKING UP YOU PHONE?”** **

****_“BECAUSE IT’S BROKEN”_ ** **

****“THEN WHY ARE WE STANDING AND SCREAMING AT EACH OTHER?”** **

****_“HOW WILL I KNOW?”_ ** **

Right at that moment the two grown-up men looked like pair of yowling wild cats, ready to leap at each other, without any notable reason.

The scene continued for another few minutes. One of them shouting at the top of his voice, the other one responding to him in a voice that sounded louder.

****“YOU DON’T LET ME REST IN PEACE FOR EVEN A MOMENT”** **

****_“HOW WILL I KNOW THAT I HAVE TO CALL YOU EVERY 15 MINS & LET YOU KNOW THAT I AM ALIVE?”_ ** **

****“FROM NEXT TIME, I WON’T RECEIVE YOUR CALLS”** **

****_“WHY?”_ ** **

****“BECAUSE YOU ARE AN ANNOYING LITTLE PUPPY”** **

****_“DON’T CALL ME PUPPY”_ ** **

****“OH RIGHT. YOU ARE AN OWL”** **

****_“YOU ARE A PINEAPPLE”_ ** **

****“YOU ARE NOODLES”** **

****_“YOU ARE BREAD”_ ** **

****“YOU ARE AS FIERCE AS A LION”** **

****_“YOU ARE AS STUPID AS A RABBIT”_ ** **

****“RABBITS ARE FAST”** **

****_“BUT YOU ARE NOT”_ ** **

****“DON’T TALK TO ME”** **

****_“AS IF I AM DYING TO TALK TO YOU”_ ** **

****“THEN GO AWAY”** **

****_“WHY WILL I? THIS IS MY……”_ ** **

Yibo suddenly fell silent, bending _his_ head slowly and looking down at _his_ bandaged foot.

“What?”, the elder’s voice toned down. “What happened?”

The other person lifted up _his_ gaze but instead of meeting the pair of eyes that were minutely observing every move of _his_ , _he_ looked across the other side of the room.

Xiao Zhan did not fail to notice the brilliant black eyes glittering in the light, his brows knotted, pain evidently stamped on the younger one’s handsome features. He walked slowly, carefully stepping lightly so as not to emit any sound. Yibo’s eyes shifted on the approaching figure as he stepped closer and closer until there was just an inch or two distance separating them. The elder person kept the bottle and AC remote on the table and placed his hand on Yibo’s clenched fist that was clutching the edge of the table firmly. He, then, carefully slid his own fingers in between the other’s closed palm and separated it from the table so that Yibo could hold onto him for support. The younger one tried to withdrew _his_ hand, stumbling on _his_ foot as his whole-body weight was supported on his single leg that was uninjured.

Before Yibo could push the elder one away and lean himself back against the wall, behind _him_ , for support, Xiao Zhan swiftly slid his arm beneath the other person’s bandaged hand and encircled _his_ waist. He shifted closer, putting his other arm around Yibo’s shoulder, behind _his_ neck and drew _him_ against his own chest.

Yibo was so startled at the sudden unforeseen proximity in between them that it took _him_ some seconds to process the whole thing in _his_ mind and before _he_ could try to move away, _he_ found himself caged inside a pair of arms that tightened his hold onto _him_.

 _He_ felt _his_ heart racing that stirred a quake within _him_.

 _“What… what are you doing?”_ , _his_ voice half audible, the rest died down in _his_ throat and he choked on _his_ own words.

“Where is it paining?”

_“Huh… nowhere, nowhere, let go… move”_

“You irritating, bothering soul… don’t push me away”, Xiao Zhan said, moving his hand, from Yibo’s shoulder, down along _his_ back, until his own two hands met and his fingers entwined as they stayed wrapped around the younger one’s slim waist, stably.

 _“Zhan-ge… let me stand”_ , Yibo nervously put some effort with _his_ unbroken arm on the solid chest that _he_ was leaning against.

 _“Zhan-ge, I can’t stand like this. Move your hands”_ , _he_ repeated.

“You are such a brat. Don’t infuriate me”

_“Who is a brat?”_

****“YOU”**** , Xiao Zhan brought his mouth close to Yibo’s ears and raised his voice.

_“Ouucchhh, my ears… stop shouting. Move”_

“Why?”

_“I can’t stand”_

“Don’t put all of your weight on one foot that is uninjured. Lean against me”

_“No”_

“You will get a leg cramp from prolonged standing”

_“Whatever… you don’t have to worry”_

Xiao Zhan strengthened his hold around the other’s waist, hugging _him_ securely while lifting _him_ up a little. As Yibo’s feet lost contact with the ground, _he_ angled _his_ head to the side to look down and saw the three inches gap in between _his_ slippers and the green carpet on the floor.

The younger’s free hand, so long resting on Xiao Zhan’s shoulder, was now enclosed around the elder’s neck and _he_ let out a shuddered breath.

_“Zhan-ge… I will fall”_

“Never will I let you fall”

Xiao Zhan scooped _him_ up fittingly against him. Yibo hooked _his_ legs around his Zhan-ge’s hip as _he_ was being soothed and rubbed on his back and waist in circles.

“You have hurt your waist?”, Xiao Zhan asked.

_“Only a little”_

“Is it paining?”

 _“Not anymore”_. Yibo hung on tight to the elder one and asked, _“Why are you being strange today?”_

“What strange thing did I do?”

_“You are not listening to me and doing whatever you want to do with me?”_

Xiao Zhan heard Yibo’s low mumble.

****“Why do you think that I will always listen to whatever you say and do whatever you want me to do? You kidnapped me from my own house and…”** **

_“When did I kidnap you?”_

****“Quiet… and yet I did not object. You dragged me inside a plane and took me to your house, I obeyed. You forced me to visit my parents and made me promise not to leave till I recover”** **

_“But you…”_

****“Shut up… But I cannot keep your birth-date as my password, I cannot download your pictures from the internet or save your videos in my mobile”** **

_“Zhan-ge…”_

****“If I do all these things, you will come and shout at me. You will do everything that you wish to. You will enjoy all your rights on me but not allow me to do the same. How is this fair Wang Yibo?”** **

Yibo silently stared at Xiao Zhan, trying to figure out what to say in response as the elder one waited for _him_ to speak.

 _“You are weird”_ , _he_ stuttered.

“Am I, Wang Yibo?”

Xiao Zhan pulled _him_ closer. Their chests glued to each other, rising and falling in unison. Yibo gasped at the rigidity with which _he_ was being held and felt _he_ would melt in the warm embrace. 

“Relax”, the elder said and continued rubbing his palm, slowly, on _his_ waist as if trying to ease away the pain.

Yibo took in a sharp breath and exhaled slowly but remained unmoving as _he_ was being held up in the air while being hugged. A while later, _he_ felt a bit drowsy as _his_ whole body finally started to get accustomed to the elder’s touch and intimacy.

Yibo could sense something unusual, going inside Xiao Zhan’s mind and he would not let _him_ go easily. The younger one gave up resisting to his moves and adjusted himself properly in the comfortable pair of arms of the other person.

****This was the first time they were hugging like this. It had already been over five minutes. They had never hugged for such a long time, before. Yibo gradually let _his_ head fall on Xiao Zhan’s shoulder, _his_ nose touching the side of the elder’s throat and _he_ whispered.** **

_“You are so dumb Zhan-ge. Suddenly you are being very…”_

“Very?”

_“Very peculiar, screwy and alien”_

“Alien… me?”

_“Else who?”_

“And what are you… a hippopotamus?”

_“You are a crocodile”_

“You are a monkey”

Yibo laughed amusedly and nuzzling against the elder’s neck, he softly sighed, ****_“Why did you come, Zhan-ge?”_****

****“Me… well, there are many reasons. Firstly, I got scared hearing about your accident and secondly……”** **

****_“Secondly?”_ ** **

****** **

To be continued…

[25.06.2020]


	20. A Heart Needs A Beat [2]

_“Why did you come, Zhan-ge?”_

“Me… well, there are many reasons. Firstly, I got scared hearing about your accident and secondly……”

_“Secondly?”_

“ummm… secondly, I wanted to ask you why did you leave so early yesterday. You could have waited for breakfast at the least”

 _“Mn”_ , Yibo mumbled against the elder’s neck. _“It was… actually it was…”_

“Urgent? You had to urgently leave?”

_“Mn”_

They went silent for a while. Yibo, for a change, was no more trying to push Xiao Zhan away or argue with him. Instead _he_ was staying clam in between the other person’s arms, making neither any attempt to move nor asking the other one to let _him_ stand on _his_ feet.

****It was so long since Yibo had hugged him. _He_ wondered if _he_ ever hugged Xiao Zhan like this before. _He_ tried to remember if _his_ Zhan-ge ever made any attempt, in the past, to embrace _him_ like this. Neither the younger one did. They hugged like any other people, which never lasted even a whole minute.** **

Yibo remembered to have kissed Xiao Zhan once, on his cheek – the day _he_ left after attending the ‘Weibo Sina Awards’, the day _he_ made _his_ firm determination, never to turn back and look at Xiao Zhan ever, never to let _his_ heart hurt more at the thought that the person who had been _his_ sole centre of attention, had never considered _him_ special.

That was a day, Yibo thought he would never forget and today was another day, he hoped never to forget. The same two people, from the past, were once again standing together, but not like co-stars, not like ex-costars, not like friends… engulfed into each other like what? Yibo wondered.

Who knew if _he_ would ever get another opportunity when Zhan-ge would willingly come upto _him_ and hide _him_ within himself?

The sedating medicines that the doctor had injected into _him_ some hours ago, were making _him_ a bit dizzy. _His_ right bandaged arm was pinned against Xiao Zhan’s lower chest and the pressure was inducing a throbbing sensation on the injury that _he_ was gladly ignoring. The middle of _his_ head was aching a little. _His_ legs, though, now was in a much comfortable position as there was no more constraint felt because of _his_ fractured ankle on _his_ uninjured foot.

Burying _his_ face against the elder’s neck, Yibo inhaled, trying to remember the scent of him. Who knew if there would be another chance to be this close to _his_ Zhan-ge?

The hug felt so comfortable. Yibo was getting too sleepy, yet _he_ wanted to keep awake. _He_ wanted to incise this moment in _his_ heart.

“Yibo?”, a soft soothing tone called _him_. “You are thirsty. Let me get you some water”

Xiao Zhan bent down a little, helping Yibo land on _his_ feet. The younger’s toes barely touched the floor carpet and _he_ was already sad at the thought of having to distance himself from the warmth of the elder’s affection.

 _“How do you know?”_ , keeping _his_ hand still circled around Xiao Zhan’s neck, Yibo asked.

“I know”, came the reply.

_“Mind-Reader?”_

“A Reader who can read only Wang Yibo’s mind”

_“Teach me”_

“Not for free”

_“I won’t pay you”_

“Then I will steal from you, all that you have”

_“Give it a try”_

“No-body can make me lose”

 _“All the best”_ , Yibo whispered and chuckled softly.

Xiao Zhan smiled back. “Wait here. I will bring water for you”, making _him_ sit on the bed, he left.

A minute later he returned with a glass of water. Yibo drank from it.

“For how long have you been thirsty?”, Xiao Zhan asked.

 _“One hour”_ , Yibo laughed.

The elder person knitted his brows and hit _him_ lightly on _his_ shoulder. “Why did you come to stay here alone? You should have spent this night in the hospital”

_“The doctor said I could leave. My condition is not serious. These are minor fractures and my left ankle is only sprained”_

“Yet you are unable to walk from your bedroom to the kitchen”

Placing the empty glass on the table, Xiao Zhan came to sit by _him_ on the bed.

“I know there is no serious injury, but since you are living alone, it would have been good if you have someone staying with you”, he said, looking at the younger’s bandaged hand.

 _“I can’t call and inform my parents. Mom is 24*7 worried about me. I cannot, at any cost, let her know that I met with an accident”_ , Yibo said. _“Besides them, I have no-one”_

Xiao Zhan looked at _him_ , into _his_ eyes. “No-one?”

_“Who do I have?”_

“What about me? Am I no-one?”

Yibo fell quiet. _He_ did not expect Xiao Zhan to be asking this.

_“Zhan-ge, you are acting all big and matured today. Did the sun rise in the west and set in the east?”_

“Shut up… I am not joking with you. Why did you not call me?”

_“I thought……”_

“You thought what? You did not let me know because you were angry with me? That I have set your birthdate as my password and so you were quarrelling with me the other night, isn’t it?”, Xiao Zhan said in a tone, he knew conveyed his displeasure.

 _“Why are you shouting at me?”_ , Yibo argued back _. “Did I say anything wrong? I don’t like these stupid acts of setting passwords and acting like those……”_

“Those what? Fanboys and fangirls? What is wrong in that?”

_“Everything is wrong in that. What will people think if they know about it? God knows what your parents will think about you and about us?”_

“If you are so concerned about what people will think then go and change the code of your own door lock, right now”

Yibo fumed in anger.

“Stop frowning at me Yibo, and explain why is it right for you to act like a fanboy but when I do the same you will squabble with me in rage”

 _“You and me are different… do you understand that? Your childish acts hurt me”_ , lowering _his_ voice, Yibo clenched _his_ teeth.

Xiao Zhan quietly observed Yibo’s rising and falling chest as the younger one was trying to calm down.

_“Xiao Zhan, you go away. Thank you for coming. I can manage the rest by my own”_

Xiao Zhan did not respond. Yibo looked straight at his face.

_“You and me will forever keep on arguing on whatever topic comes in between us. Let’s not do this today. My head is throbbing painfully and I feel tired. Go away. Leave me alone”_

Yibo slowly lifted _his_ legs up on the bed and laid down, shutting _his_ eyes closed. “ _Turn off the lights and go away. Don’t bother yourself anymore. I don’t need you”_ , _he_ bellowed in anger.

Xiao Zhan kept looking at _him_. His chest felt tightened. He did not come here to hurt Yibo. He had promised himself never to hurt Yibo again. Yet he did it.

He slowly got up from the bed and went outside of the room. Yibo opened _his_ eyes and stared at the door.

Did Xiao Zhan go away? _He_ said he did not need him, asked him to go and he went away. _He_ heard the sound of the main door being closed. Xiao Zhan really was gone.

Hoping against hope, Yibo waited for fifteen whole minutes, gazing at the door to see the familiar figure return but nobody came.

A stream of tears rolled down _his_ eyes.

How good _he_ felt when _his_ Zhan-ge was hugging him sometime before!

How comfortable it was to stay in the homely embrace of those arms!

They were just a few moments of happiness that vanished into thin air before Yibo could cling onto it properly to never let it go.

 _His_ face dug into the pillow and _he_ cried silently.

Unexpectedly, some minutes later, to _his_ great surprise, Yibo heard the sound of the main door being opened.

 _“Zhan-ge”_. Very slowly, lifting himself up in a sitting position on the bed, _he_ unknowingly called out.

Xiao Zhan entered the room and walked straight towards the wardrobe. Pulling out a pair of clothes that belonged to Yibo, he said, “I had gone to tell my bodyguards that I will be staying here tonight…… Wait, I am coming in a minute” and he dashed inside the bathroom, leaving Yibo surprised.

The elder person returned after some time. Yibo thought he would switch off the lights and come to sleep. But he did not. Instead he climbed on the bed and sat beside him, wrapping one arm around the younger one, pulling _him_ towards his chest.

Yibo did not get any chance to restore _his_ balance and in a second, _he_ found himself being wrapped up in Xiao Zhan’s arm that settled around his shoulder as he was rocking back and forth slowly.

A sudden feel of happiness mixed with an overwhelming unknown emotion took over Yibo and he leaned against the elder one, letting _his_ head fall on the other person’s shoulder and smiled softly.

_“I thought you went away”_

“I know you are stupid”

_“Who is stupid?”_

“Me”

Yibo giggled. _“Yes, you”_

“Yibo, I am sorry”, Xiao Zhan said after a while.

_“For what?”_

“For always fighting with you”

_“Yes, we always argue over everything all the time”_

“But it’s fun”, Xiao Zhan said suppressing his chuckle.

 _“What is fun?”_ , Yibo pulled away from the hug to look at the elder’s face.

“Come back”, Xiao Zhan said, pulling _him_ back in his embrace and the younger one, once again, rested _his_ head in between the other’s shoulder and neck.

 ** **“Fighting with you is fun”**** , Xiao Zhan continued. ****“Quarrelling with you, shouting at you. Then saying sorry and yelling at you again, screaming over non-sensical topics. I would have never realized that I have this side in me, this fierce and irritating nature of me, if you had not come into my life”****

Yibo did not know what to say. When Xiao Zhan was rude and impolite with _him_ , _he_ felt normal but this softer side of the elder one always made him feel that… that… No, _he_ would not assume anything. Yibo let out a sigh.

“What happened?”, Xiao Zhan asked as he felt the person in his arm shiver a little.

_“I am thinking”_

“Thinking what?”

 _“That you are a Brainless man who enjoys pissing me off”_ , Yibo landed a light punch at the other’s chest.

“Yes, it’s the thing I love to do the most because you are a clingy baby who is now a little bit grown-up”, Xiao Zhan smiled.

 _“I am not clingy”_. Another punch was landed on his chest.

“You are clingier than my cat”

 _“Shut up”_ , Yibo punched him lightly for the third time, on his arm. _“Don’t talk rubbish. It’s you who refused to leave and is staying here tonight”_

“As if you did not want me to stay”

_“As if I said that I want you to say”_

Yibo slapped the elder one again, this time on his knee. Xiao Zhan caught _his_ hand, entwined their fingers and affectionately squeezed _him_ , moving his own arm up and down along Yibo’s back.

 _“You are suffocating me”_ , the younger one chuckled.

 _“_ Then suffocate quietly. Don’t complain”. Xiao Zhan grimaced but actually was very pleased, at the moment.

****_“Zhan-ge, why did you return?”_**** , Yibo asked, after a while.

****“I remembered that amidst all these arguments and cat fights with you, I forgot to give you my reply”** **

****_“Huh? What reply?”_**** , Yibo snuggled upto him while looking at their intertwined fingers lying on Xiao Zhan’s lap. The elder was still rocking back and forth, while embracing _him_ that emphasized his doting and tender feelings.

****“The reply to your confession”** **

****_“Mn?”_**** , Yibo tried to lift _his_ face to look up. Xiao Zhan withdrew his hand from Yibo’s and put it in the younger’s hair and combined his fingers through.

****“Yesterday you left without giving me a chance to give you a response. So, I thought I should come and meet you and tell you properly”** **

Yibo’s whole body, instantly, froze in the hug and _he_ felt he was unable to move. _He_ looked down and stared at his own hand lying unoccupied on Xiao Zhan’s lap, without blinking. Amidst the quietness settled in the room, all that _he_ was aware of was _his_ own heartbeats that were pounding loudly against _his_ chest.

Xiao Zhan’s fingers travelled down and traced the younger’s jawline and cheekbones before his hand found its way back into the empty palm of Yibo’s, interlocking their fingers once again, tightly.

****“You whispered beside my ears, whatever you had to say and before I could open my eyes and react to it, you rushed out of the room. How inconsiderate of you, Yibo?”** **

Yibo felt completely baffled and speechless. Was Xiao Zhan not sleeping then? When did he wake up?

 _He_ felt numb as tears brimmed in _his_ eyes.

 _He_ longed for the earth to open up so that _he_ could bury himself inside it.

How ashamed _he_ felt!

How embarrassing!

To his chagrin, _he_ once again let himself be in this awkward position, just like two years before.

 ** **“When a person is saying such things, he should at least wait for 30 secs and give the other one some time to be convinced, what he or she heard was correct or not”**** , Xiao Zhan said.

Yibo stayed unmoving and did not answer, while the elder’s arm remained still around _him_.

****“In this case, it’s a He and not a She because I am a He and I am not a She”** **

_****“Will you shut up, Zhan-ge?”****_ , Yibo, suddenly, pulled away from the hug and removed the elder’s arm off _him_ , pushing him a little away from _himself_.

_****“What are you saying… I really… I mean I don’t understand. Are you drunk or what?”** ** _

****“Why will I be drunk especially when I promised you never to drink again?”**** , Xiao Zhan replied innocently.

Yibo felt embarrassed to the degree that _he_ had to sniff quietly to hold back the big puzzled drops of waters that threatened to pour out of _his_ eyes.

 ** **“Hey, why are you crying?”**** , Xiao Zhan stretched out his hand to cup the younger’s face. Yibo slapped him away.

The elder once again approached _him_ , the younger once again pushed him away.

 ** ** _“I did not mean that”_**** , Yibo, all of a sudden, sobbed loudly. ****_“I did not… want you to hear”_****

Xiao Zhan was lost for words as he was taken aback by the unrestrained tears that raced down the younger’s cheeks.

****_“Please don’t say ‘No’. I don’t know what you heard but don’t say that please. I know it. I know it. I know that……”_ ** **

Xiao Zhan moved forward and placed his palm on Yibo’s mouth, letting _him_ speak no more. When the sobs had subsided, he wrapped both his arms around the other’s shoulders and pulled _him_ close, gently rubbing _his_ back, comforting him lovingly. The younger one sank into the warmth of the elder’s body.

****“You are so impatient Yibo. You have been blabbering a lot, lately. Shut up for a while. Keep those lips pressed and listen to me, first”** **

Yibo squeezed him back by enclosing _his_ arms around him, hiding own _his_ face in his chest when _he_ heard Xiao Zhan whispering beside _his_ ears.

****“I heard you. The things that you said – nothing more and nothing less. I heard all of it. I came here for you, Yibo. Will you not hear me out?”** **

He felt Yibo shaking _his_ head in negation. ****“You have turned twenty-five. Stop being a baby and look up at me”**** , he forcefully pulled _him_ away from himself and looked into _his_ eyes.

Yibo could assume what was coming for _him_. _He_ did not want to listen to them anymore. _He_ wanted to shut down _his_ ears and mind, to keep himself from shattering down again.

Taking in a staggered breath, _he_ let _his_ eyelids fall and closed _his_ eyes. Xiao Zhan observed _his_ chiselled face, his flawlessly handsome features. Fondly, he held Yibo’s chin with his forefinger and pulled _his_ face closer.

****“I am already so late. I can’t wait anymore. The things which I should have said long time back…… how did it take me these many years to realize this simple thing, I don’t understand?”** **

Yibo opened _his_ eyes and looked at the never-seen sincerity and tenderness in Xiao Zhan’s expressions.

****“I apologize to you for being so slow-witted. I am so sorry for everything Yibo, every time when I hurt you”** **

****_“Zhan-ge?”_**** , the other person whispered.

 ** **“You should have waited for my response. Why did you leave like that? I might had taken a minute or two or I might had spent an hour or even a whole day before giving you a reply but this time it would not have been the same as before. You should have waited”****. He sighed.

 ** ** _“Waited for what?”_**** , Yibo slowly whispered.

 ** **“Waited for me to say it to you”**** , Xiao Zhan whispered back.

****_“Say what?”_ ** **

Xiao Zhan firmly held onto the other’s chin and bent _his_ head a little as he lifted up his own face and inclined forwards till his lips found the point in between Yibo’s pair of eyebrows.

The elder’s mouth pressed an affectionate kiss on Yibo’s forehead and in the next moment, he angled his face to press another adoring kiss on Yibo’s chin.

****“I love you too, Wang Yibo”** **

Unfettered tears rolled down the corner of Yibo’s eyes. He remained motionless and listened to Xiao Zhan addressing _him_ again.

****“Here is my reply for you”** **

A small choking sob escaped from Yibo and his lips quivered.

****“I love you… too… three, four, five… I want to spend many more days… till I finish counting upto infinity, together with you, Yibo”** **

****

To be continued…


	21. A Heart Needs A Beat [3]

"I love you too, Wang Yibo"

Unfettered tears, gradually, rolled down Yibo's face. _He_ remained stock-still and listened to Xiao Zhan addressing _him_ again.

"Here is my reply for you"

A small choking sob escaped from the younger one and _his_ bottom lip quivered.

"I love you... too... three, four, five... I want to spend many more days... till I finish counting upto infinity, together with you, Yibo"

Yibo stayed still. Except for the stream of water that coursed down _his_ cheek, there was no expression on _his_ face.

"I love you, Yibo", the elder repeated. "This is what I wanted to say"

Overcoming the momentary flabbergasting that took over _him_ , Yibo smiled softly.

 _"What rubbish! Zhan-ge"_ , sniffing back _his_ tears, _he_ wiped the water from his cheek by the back of _his_ palm and playfully slapped Xiao Zhan on _his_ chest. _"Stop sounding like you are serious... otherwise I will start believing that......"_

"I am serious, Yibo", came the unfaltering response. "Do you hear me? I love you"

Confessions after confessions – Xiao Zhan repeated the same line thrice, leaving the younger one so astonished that _he_ did not know how to react.

Motionless, Yibo was looking upto him, a wave of surprise passing through _him_. The resolution in _his_ Zhan-ge's appearance, his unhesitating tone, his steadfast admission of his feelings – all of them seemed unfamiliar. _His_ Zhan-ge was unrecognizable.

For a long time Yibo just sat there, in front of Xiao Zhan, on the bed, not really staring but seeming to have lost the inclination to move. _He_ stayed still when Xiao Zhan released his grip on _his_ shoulder and took _his_ hand in his. _He_ did not respond when Xiao Zhan stroked _his_ hair and pulled _him_ closer, into his chest, placing the younger's ear just above his own pounding heart.

His chin rested on top of the other's head who he had clenched tighter. It was a simple gesture, yet Yibo could feel the extreme affection pouring out, on _him_ , from every pore of Xiao Zhan's body. Yibo looked serene, _he_ felt protected. Above all, _he_ sensed being loved. The embrace was an exchange of pure tenderness in between them. _He_ never felt like that before. It seemed as if _he_ was dreaming and as soon as _he_ would wake up, this blissful warmth around _him_ would be lost.

No, _he_ couldn't let _his_ mind sink into the bottom of this delusion. _He_ tried to break the hug, pull away. Xiao Zhan let _him_. Yibo sat straight and looked into the elder's eyes, perceiving the affection in them for _him_.

_"What did you say?"_

"I love you"

 _"You... you"_ , Yibo stuttered.

"I love you, too"

 _"Do you even realize what you are saying? Are you... are you... sure?"_ , _he_ asked in between pauses and waited for a response that, _he_ hoped, would break _his_ trance and woke _him_ up from this impossible dream. No answer came and the younger one knew _he_ needed to wake up immediately.

 ** _"You love me? ... as a friend, right?"_** , Yibo was bemused.

Xiao Zhan did not say anything but shifted a bit closer to _him_ as _he_ continued. **_"as a friend loves his friend, right? ... isn't it? ... you said you love me, Zhan-ge? Love? ... like what? ... I mean... as a best friend loves his best......"_**

The younger's words were cut off when Xiao Zhan put his finger on _his_ lips.

**"Five minutes ago, I kissed you... twice, remember?"**

Yibo kept looking, holding _his_ breath.

 **"Why will I kiss you if I am not sure?"** , the elder said and brought his mouth close to the other one's right cheek, leaving a chaste kiss on the warm skin.

**"I now kissed you, the third time. Why will I kiss my friend?"**

Cupping Yibo's neck, Xiao Zhan angled his own head to press a kiss on the younger's left cheek. This time it was longer, unhurried and fervent.

**"The fourth time... why will I kiss my best friend, Yibo?"**

The person referred to remained staring at him, unblinkingly, allowing fresh water to gather in _his_ eyes.

 **"You want to hear me, once more?"**. Xiao Zhan asked and inclined forwards again, his eyes glazing in the light of the room. He tilted the younger's chin up with one finger. **"I don't love you as my 'Chen-Qing-Ling' costar. I don't love you as my 'A-Ling' ex-costar'. I don't love you as an old acquaintance"**

He paused and finally pressed his lips on Yibo's. The stored tears in the younger's eyes flew down _his_ cheeks, wetting the edges of their joined mouth.

The elder lifted up both his hands and cradled the other one's face in between his palms, his thumbs wiping away the water from beneath _his_ eyes and the back of his palms fondly caressing Yibo's cheekbones.

Xiao Zhan pulled away for barely a second, to look at the person sitting immobile in front of him and then he reconnected their lips, this time not to kiss but to provide the younger one, feels of warmth, protection, affection, comfort and love.

Yibo felt as if the elder had casted a spell over _him_ , rendering _him_ static. _He_ had no strength in _him_ to resist as _his_ hands were now in the tight grip of Xiao Zhan. If _he_ had said that _he_ wanted to pull back and push _his_ Zhan-ge away, _he_ knew that would be a great lie.

A moment later, Xiao Zhan slowly reduced the pressure with which his lips were pinned against the other's. He smiled and dropped a peck on the corner of Yibo's mouth before pulling away completely.

**"Neither do i love you as my friend nor as my best friend..."**

Yibo's eyeballs moved. He blinked twice... thrice. Xiao Zhan looked at _him_ and smiled big before slowly declaring his sentiments loud and clear.

**"I love you as Wei WuXian loved his Lan Wangji"**

Yibo remained sitting there, unmoving, looking sometimes at the person in front, sometimes around the room. Xiao Zhan patiently waited for _him_ , slowly caressing _his_ arms in between, making an attempt to pacify the soul, he knew, was right now agitated and addled.

The younger one shook _his_ head, trying to wake up from the dream, hoping it was a dream, because if it was real then _he_ would have to deal with _his_ troubled mind, _his_ aching soul. _He_ was not prepared for this. No matter how much had _he_ pinned for _his_ Zhan-ge's love, _he_ was clear from within _his_ inner core that _his_ love would forever remain unreciprocated.

 _He_ knew Xiao Zhan loved _him_. He very well knew Xiao Zhan loved _him_ more than anybody else. _He_ knew which place he held in the other's life. _He_ knew _he_ was _his_ Zhan-ge's topmost priority but... but... not like this. No... no.

_He_ slowly distanced himself and put _his_ feet on the floor, trying to climb down the bed. Xiao Zhan hurriedly approached _him_ and in the next moment he was standing in front of Yibo, holding _him_ by _his_ elbow, supporting _him_.

"What happened? What do you need?", he asked with a worried face.

Yibo forcefully took _his_ arm away from the elder's grip and pushed him as hard as _he_ could. The elder, all of a sudden, lost his balance and took a few steps back, widening his eyes at Yibo's unexpected reaction.

"Yibo?", he called and Yibo could feel the heat radiating from _his_ own body.

 ** _"No, I don't want this to be real"_**. The younger one whispered breathlessly as Xiao Zhan was once again making his way towards _him_. He stopped a few inches from Yibo.

 **"And what do you want?"** , the elder asked, reading the other's mind.

If it was a dream, Yibo thought to himself, then _he_ could be and do whatever _he_ wanted and however _he_ wanted. His gaze dropped from Xiao Zhan's eyes to his pair of lips, the little mole that was sitting royally on the bottom right corner of his lower lip. _He_ allowed _his_ eyes to roam the elder's whole figure, from top to bottom, and once again climbing up to his lush kissable lips.

Taking in a deep breath, Yibo stretched his hand forward and clutched Xiao Zhan's shirt, at the base of his throat, tight and pulled him forwards. The elder was just an inch taller than _him_ and now was standing so close to _him_ than his breath was a whisper across the younger's face.

Yibo wanted to kiss him.

 ** _"Afterall this is my dream"_** , _he_ said slowly. Xiao Zhan did not respond and kept staring into _his_ eyes.

 ** _"The person, I have always loved, for four damn years... I still do"_** , Yibo said. **_"Unable to have him, feels so much bitter"_** , _he_ gritted _his_ teeth. **_"It frustrates me, it robs me off all my happiness and peace of mind...."_** , _he_ let out _his_ breath and continued, **_"but I never, in any of my previous dreams, had you so close to me"_**

 **"You have me now"**. Xiao Zhan reached out and silently wrapped both his arms around Yibo's waist and hugged _him_. His arms felt like a shield of love, like a well-worn sweater around Yibo as he slowly caressed the younger's lower back, _his_ chest was pressed against him.

Yibo tightened his hold onto the other's shirt. **_"Since this is my dream, I will take charge of things and you cannot control me"_**

 **"I won't even try to"** , the elder assured.

**_"Although this is a dream, but even if in my dreams, I found you joking with me, I will..."_ **

**"Kill me okay... I won't resist"**

**_"Yes, I will kill you"_ **

**"Go ahead"** , Xiao Zhan sounded like throwing a challenge.

Yibo lifted _his_ face up and brought _his_ lips closer to the other's, slowly closing the distance in between them. Their lips barely touched, lightly brushed against each other and Yibo stopped. _He_ felt _his_ heart beat racing and heard _his_ own breath hitch.

Xiao Zhan's lips were so close to _his_ that _he_ could feel the elder's hot breath across _his_ own lips.

 _He_ could not proceed further and had to put _his_ head down in shame. _'What would Zhan-ge think of me? A pervert?'_ , _his_ mind supplied and loosening the elder's grip from around _his_ waist, _he_ backed off.

Xiao Zhan immediately gathered _him_ , once again, and hugged _him_ steadily, lifting _him_ up in his arms. Yibo gasped and clutched onto the elder's shoulders, tucking _his_ head in the crook of Xiao Zhan's neck, breathing him in, helpless to do anything else, _his_ energy spent.

 _"Why did you lift me up?"_ , the younger mumbled against the elder's skin.

"One poor leg of yours is fortunately unharmed and you are still standing, putting constant pressure on it", came the reply.

Still holding firmly to Yibo's waist, Xiao Zhan gently dropped himself forward on the bed, laying Yibo on _his_ back while his own whole form was on top of the younger person. He pulled a pillow from beside and placed it beneath _his_ head. Xiao Zhan's fingers roamed Yibo's hair, smoothing the curls from _his_ forehead while he whispered comforting thoughts. But all Yibo comprehended was an intense bliss and sleepiness that threatened to overtake _him_.

 **"Are you sure this is just a dream?"** , placing a light kiss on Yibo's temple, Xiao Zhan asked, lips still pressed against _his_ skin.

 ** _"I don't want it to be"_** , the other one answered honestly. **_"I want this to be real for the rest of our lives"_**

**"Then don't push me away. Let me love you. I can't stop arguing with you, fighting with you, cursing you, irritating you but along with all the things that are already there in between us, let me add some love to it. The love between you and me... that belongs to us"**

**_"What will happen then?"_** , Yibo weakly asked, _his_ arms still enveloped Xiao Zhan's neck.

**"This new recipe will make our lives taste so much better"**

**_"Mn"_ **

Then, somehow through the fog of _his_ fatigue and the medicines that _he_ had taken earlier, _he_ unintentionally dozed off into a deep sleep.

Xiao Zhan watched his precious angel's grip around him loosening gradually. He held those hands and placed them carefully on the bed. He kept looking fondly at the sleeping figure, trying to remember when had Yibo conquered over his desires, emotions that he had been fighting against for years.

**Xiao Zhan adored _him_. He had never experienced such pleasure with a man before, rather anyone before. He never knew that a person of the same gender could affect him so much, too much to the point that he entered the dangerous territory of love, from where there was no turning back.**

**God, what had he done? He fell in Love, something which he never did previously. He fell in love with a man. As long back as his memories could travel... starting from the first day, he met this person, Xiao Zhan could not figure out which was the exact moment he lost his whole integrity to this single name – Wang Yibo.**

He only knew that for a long time his ears, his soul, every inch of him were dying to hear _'I love You'_ from Yibo and when finally, Yibo had kissed him and professed _his_ love, some days before, he knew he loved _him_ too. He knew he would not be able to live if this person distanced _himself_ from him again.

For two whole years he died every single day in loneliness. Even in a huge crowd of people, he was all alone because Yibo was not there beside him. He would die if he had to live like that again.

**Xiao Zhan was fully aware of what he was doing, what might be the consequences of all of these, but deep inside him he regretted nothing. He only knew that Yibo loved him and he loved _him_ too.**

**There was no solution, no simple route for them to travel. This was the reality and he knew this was what he had wanted to experience since forever, this was what he was living for.**

"I love you too, just the way you love me", he whispered beside the younger's ears. Yibo did not even move. The elder understood _he_ had taken pain-killers and though _he_ must had wanted to keep _his_ eyes open, the poor boy could not. The sedative medicines had put _him_ to sleep. _He_ must rest. Xiao Zhan covered him with the blanket properly and got up to turn off all the lights.

Soon after he came back. Holding Yibo in his arms, Xiao Zhan joined _him_ in bed. Relishing the feel of their bodies so close to each other, he too gave over to the heavenly realm of sleep.

To be continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor baby is tired and dozed off. Okay, we will wait for the next chapter to see their romance.  
> I don't believe this is the 21st chapter. I had earlier planned to make it a one-shot, then it became a two-shot story. When my dear beta-reader read the ending of the 2nd chapter, she threw a dozen rotten eggs at me and I was left with no choice than to edit it and then turn my one/two shot into a multi chapter fic.  
> Pheww and I don't know how many chapters are left but it will end as soon as I am finished with the remaining tracks that I have in mind.  
> Okay, enough of spouting non-sense. Bye for now. See you in the next update with baby candies.


	22. A Heart Needs A Beat [4]

Yibo woke up out of breath. _He_ hurriedly sat up on the bed. Damn, why did _he_ dream of Xiao Zhan, _he_ didn’t know. What a stupid forlorn dream! Running a hand through _his_ hair, _he_ wiped away the sweat that had gathered on _his_ forehead, by the back of _his_ palm and tried stretching his hands and yawned.

 _“ouucchhh”_ , _he_ flinched in pain. God! _He_ had almost forgotten _his_ injured elbow and waist.

 _He_ looked around, the blackout curtains of the room were drawn and _he_ was thus unable to understand what time of the day it was. _He_ was in no hurry to get ready for the day, though. So, _he_ once again dropped himself into the pillow and hovered _his_ free hand on the bed beside him.

It was cold!

Suddenly it occurred to him that _his_ bed and room was not supposed to be empty. Someone else was supposed to be there beside _him_. Where was He, the one _he_ was looking for?

 _He_ looked down at himself. When did _he_ change into _his_ night dress? _He_ realized that it was the same one _he_ had on in _his_ dream when Xiao Zhan was…!

Was that actually a dream?

Early in the morning _he_ had to think of all such non-sense but wait… Xiao Zhan. Was He really here yesterday? Or Yibo had been dreaming all this while?

 _He_ needed to go to the bathroom. _He_ was hungry too. _He_ pushed the thought of _his_ far-fetched dream away. _He_ would first take a shower and then eat and later would try to figure out what happened to _him_ last night.

The room was almost dark and _he_ could not see the time on the wall clock. _He_ did not even have a phone by _his_ side.

Wondering how to get down from the bed, _he_ moved his head to look at the door and at an instant _his_ breath was caught in _his_ throat. The tall figure’s broad smile, as bright as the glowing sun, flashed at _him_.

“Good Morning”, Xiao Zhan greeted as he walked upto the bed and stretched out his arm, giving _him_ a glass of water.

Yibo’s gaze traveled from Xiao Zhan’s face to the shirt and pant that the elder was now wearing, which belonged to _him_ and then _he_ finally happened to notice the water. Yibo took the glass from him and lifted it up to _his_ lips, drinking slowly from it.

“Are you feeling okay?”

Handing over the empty glass to Xiao Zhan, Yibo nodded.

“Is there any pain anywhere else, besides your injuries?”

Yibo moved _his_ head from side to side.

“Then why were you shivering at night? I really was scared. It took me a while to put you back to sleep. You were sweating profusely. Your shirt was drenched. So, I made you change into your night dress”

Yibo silently kept staring at Xiao Zhan who was moving around the room, pulling the curtains, letting the sunrays penetrate through the thick glass windows. Coming back to _him_ , the elder offered his hand.

“Come, I will take you to the bathroom. Brush your teeth and have breakfast. It’s already past 11”

Yibo did not say anything but kept looking between Xiao Zhan and his hand. Everything was so habitual. Xiao Zhan sounded so normal. As if nothing unusual had happened before.

Yes, this was _his_ Zhan-ge and this was how their relationship had always been. Xiao Zhan wearing Yibo’s clothes was not a matter that would put the younger in utter shock. His bringing Yibo a glass of water as soon as the latter woke up from sleep was also not something infrequent except that for the past two years there were not in good talking terms with each other.

Yet, Yibo was feeling strange! Everything was typical, still something unfamiliar was definitely there in between them.

Xiao Zhan was saying something, deep lines of worry had appeared on his forehead and he was bringing his face closer. Yibo was so lost in _his_ thoughts that _he_ could not even hear what was being said beside _his_ ears.

A moment later, _he_ felt a pair of arms wrapping around _his_ waist and _his_ body was being pressed to the side of the elder’s chest. That was when _he_ finally landed into reality.

“What happened, my dear?”. Pushing the messy stray hairs from above the younger’s brows, Xiao Zhan palmed _his_ forehead, checking _his_ temperature. “Are you not feeling well? Shall I ask Du Hua to send a doctor for you now?”

Yibo shook _his_ head. _“I am fine”_

Pressing _him_ a bit closer to himself, Xiao Zhan said. “Brush your teeth. Come, I will help you walk”. Holding Yibo firmly by _his_ shoulder and elbow, the elder made _him_ stand up. Yibo, without saying anything farther, obeyed.

Before they took a step ahead, something crossed the younger’s mind and _he_ immediately released _his_ arm from the elder’s grip, sitting down once again on the bed.

“What happened?”, Xiao Zhan looked puzzled.

_“I cannot walk”_

“What?”

_“I cannot walk to the bathroom”_

“Why?”

 _“Because my ankle is sprained and my waist is aching. I won’t walk… I mean I cannot walk”_ , _he_ sounded adamant like a child.

Xiao Zhan furrowed his brows and stared at Yibo for a few moments while the latter stared back at him with an equal intensity.

The elder knew how to read his favourite book and it offcourse did not take him long to figure out his beloved’s state of mind. Stretching both of his arms out, Xiao Zhan signalled, “Come”

In a blink of a moment, Yibo literally jumped into the elder’s arms, trying to hide himself in that chest, pressing _his_ face against the other person’s bare throat, inhaling his scent and trying to remember if this was the aroma that had been lingering on _his_ own whole self ever since _he_ woke up. It felt as if _he_ had been hugged tight throughout the night, this was the same warmth, the same fragrance, Yibo remembered. This was it. Xiao Zhan was with _him_ the whole night.

He, definitely, was not dreaming yesterday!

Without wasting a second, Xiao Zhan had already wrapped _him_ in his embrace, picking _him_ up in his lap, leaving Yibo marvelled at how real dreams could be.

Kicking the bathroom door open with one leg, Xiao Zhan entered inside. Holding the younger tightly by _his_ waist using one hand, he started removing the shampoo bottle, and towel and shaving set from above the counter beside the basin and made Yibo sit on it.

The latter’s hands were still wrapped around the elder’s neck when _he_ pulled away from the hug to look around.

“Why are you so silent today?”, Xiao Zhan asked.

_“What shall I say?”_

“As if you need topics to fight with me”

 _“When do I fight with you?”_ , Yibo removed _his_ arms from around the elder.

“When do you not fight with me?”

 _“So, you are accusing me, early morning, of something that you always start”_ , Yibo raised _his_ voice, glaring at the other one.

Xiao Zhan threw his head back and laughed. “Now, I am sure you are the Yibo who I love, otherwise I really was wondering whether I kissed an imposter of you yesterday night”

Yibo lowered _his_ gaze and clutching Xiao Zhan’s shirt tightly he pulled the latter towards _him_ and hugged him. Resting _his_ chin on the other’s shoulder, _he_ whispered, _“Gege, you are not joking with me, right?”_

Xiao Zhan hugged _him_ too, slowly and gently rubbing _his_ back. “No”

_“You never hugged me before, like this”_

“I am doing it now”

_“Why?”_

“Because I hate you”, Xiao Zhan let out a suppressed titter.

Yibo lightly slapped him on his shoulder and shifted _his_ arms to hug the other person around his ribs. _“Shut up… you stupid”_

“Then you figure out, why am I hugging you”, Xiao Zhan nuzzled his neck.

_“I cannot… so, I am asking you”_

“I love you”, Xiao Zhan said.

Burying _his_ head on the elder’s shoulder, Yibo let out a sigh, _“Don’t say that. I hate being woken up from dreams. It scares me”_

“I will let you dream forever”, the elder adjusted himself in between the younger’s spread out legs while _he_ was still sitting on the counter beside the basin.

_“Why all of a sudden Zhan-ge! How? I feel I am in a deep slumber and everything will fall apart when I wake up”_

“Why are you scared, my dear?”, the elder asked.

_“Accidentally you came into my life, Zhan-ge. Unexpectedly I… I don’t know how I…”_

“I know you fell in love with me”

_“Yes, I have always loved you with all my heart. It seems like you own me but I have never ever thought that you will be able to… I mean you will ever…”_

“It's okay. I understand”, the elder assured, once again finishing the sentence that the younger was finding difficult to phrase.

“ _Gege_ ”

Xiao Zhan broke apart from the hug and holding Yibo’s waist, he pulled _him_ a bit closer to himself letting their chests lean against each other.

“Am I worth your forgiveness?”. Xiao Zhan took both _his_ hands in his. “I never told you properly what you are to me, isn’t it? So, you refuse to believe me?”

 _“Don’t get on my nerves. Zhan-ge. I always believe you”_ , Yibo tenderly slapped the elder one on his cheek and immediately caressed it. _“It’s just I…”_

His words stayed inside _his_ mouth as two slender fingers landed on _his_ lips that forbade _him_ from speaking.

“I never made any attempt to let you know that you mean the world to me. Words will fall short if I start telling you what you are to me”

Yibo smiled a little and mumbled from behind the elder’s fingers. _“I don’t know how to feel about it. I never thought that a day would come when gege will…”_

Xiao Zhan silently waited for Yibo to continue.

_“Zhan-ge, is this love? This is love? … you love me, Zhan-ge?”_

“I do”

_“What am I to you?”_

“The only person who I want to see and want to have all by myself”

Their eyes met and Yibo’s cheeks were spread with a light blush.

 _“What are you saying?”_ , _his_ lips curled up into a smile.

“I will help you figure out”

 _“Huh… what?”_ , the younger looked up.

“Let’s find out together, whatever is there in between us is love or not, will that be okay?”. The elder took a pause and added, “will you let me help you come to terms with our new reality”

Being in Xiao Zhan’s arms made _him_ feel like the sea finding its shore, like a traveler returning after a long, hard, distant trip-- finally returning home. A sense of contentment spread across _his_ chest looking at the softness in the other’s eyes, the sincerity in his voice, the love with which _his_ Zhan-ge’s arms were locked around _his_ waist.

Yibo nodded, _“Okay, we will together figure it out. Tell me where to start from”_

Yibo was sitting with _his_ head at a height few inches above Xiao Zhan. The latter tilted his face up to snuggle against the firmness of the younger's chest and smiled contentedly.

“First let’s be done with your brushing and then have breakfast”

Yibo shook his head. _“No… tell me first”_

“What shall I tell?”

_“What you were wanting to say about figuring out together_ _…_ _our relation?”_

“What am I wanting to say… nothing”

Furrowing _his_ eyebrows, Yibo hit Xiao Zhan on his shoulder, gently. _“Stop bothering me Zhan-ge and speak”_

The elder faked an expression of pain and took two steps back. “Ufff… you broke my ribs”

 _“ ** **GO AND LIE ON THE HOSPITAL BED**** ”_, Yibo yelled.

“ ** **AND WHO WILL PAY THE BILLS?**** ”, Xiao Zhan shouted.

 _“ ** **YOUR FATHER-IN-LAW**** ”_, Yibo shouted back.

“Huh? What… your dad? Already? … I mean, we did not even tell your family and he will pay my hospital bills?”

Yibo picked up the toothpaste tube from beside the shelve and threw it at Xiao Zhan. ****_“SEAL THAT USELESS MOUTH OF YOURS”,_**** _he_ bellowed.

****“ELSE _…_ WHAT WILL YOU DO?”** **

_“I will break your mouth”_ , Yibo toned down _his_ voice and wailed. _“Zhan-ge, zhan-ge, gege, gege… stop annoying me. My head is throbbing”_

Xiao Zhan immediately came forward and picked the younger one in his arms, helping _him_ stand on _his_ feet. “Sorry, my little puppy. Let’s first…”

 _“I am not a pup…”_ , Yibo’s words were muffled as Xiao Zhan’s lips, all of a sudden, smashed to _his_. The younger’s heart thumped quickly, _his_ hands moving to rest onto the other’s chest.

They pulled apart some seconds later.

“Sure, you are not a puppy”, Xiao Zhan softly whispered.

 _“Then what am I?”_ , a bewildered Yibo asked back in another whisper.

 ** **“Every falling star has a destination. I was also a falling star. My collision was with you. You are my purpose and my terminus”.**** The voice that explained had unswerving loyalty.

The brightness spread across the younger’s face was like the light of the heaven. Locking _his_ eyes onto the other’s, _he_ held the elder’s chin and swept a kiss across his lips.

_“Trying to be romantic, gege?”_

"You kissed me, so you are trying to be romantic"

 _"I am not",_ Yibo flushed.

"Neither am I. Its just that I am trying to lure you into…”

_“Into?”_

“Brushing and then come outside for breakfast. I really am hungry”, Xiao Zhan laughed out loud.

Yibo elbowed him in the side of his waist. _“Don’t be a spoilt ,sport Zhan-ge?”_

“Erm, seems like someone has forgotten what I said yesterday”

The younger’s eyes glowed. Locking _his_ hands around Xiao Zhan’s neck, he said, _“Yes, I don’t remember. Care to remind me again please”_

“I was going to say that _…_ _…_ I…”

_“You?”_

“I…”

_“What?”_

“Take fun in vexing you”. Breaking into a merry laugh, Xiao Zhan rushed out of the room, closing the door behind him with a loud thud,

 _“I will kill you, Zhan-ge”_ , supressing his own giggles, Yibo shouted from inside.

“Finish quickly, Yibo. We will together plan my assassination”, Xiao Zhan shouted back and guffawed.

 _“Okay, ten more minutes, gege”,_ and with that the elder heard the sound of the tap being opened and water being splashed, from outside the bathroom.

Smearing some toothpaste on the brush, Yibo ran it energetically around _his_ mouth. _He_ looked up at the mirror. _His_ face was glowing or the mirror was spotless and was reflecting the light inside the washroom, _he_ could not decipher. _He_ paused brushing and looked more closely at _his_ reflection on it.

There was a light red complexion on _his_ cheeks… Holding the toothbrush in between _his_ teeth, _he_ touched _his_ cheekbones by the back of his palm.

Oh God! _His_ skin was burning.

He could literally hear _his_ heart beating loudly in _his_ ears. What would _he_ do, what would _he_ do? Should _he_ jump around? No… no… that would be extremely idiotic… He was no more a five years child. He was grown up now. Then? Should _he_ sing _his_ lungs out?

Yibo slapped himself on _his_ head, staining _his_ hair with the toothpaste’s foam. _He_ giggled loudly, spitting some of the paste from his mouth into the basin.

 _He_ realized he needed to calm down for… for… safety purposes. His heart might burst out of _his_ chest, at this rate.

What was _he_ doing sometime before? … _He_ actually kissed. _He_ had kissed Xiao Zhan… full on his mouth. Yibo tried to remember every second of it and then it occurred to him that every micro moment of those unforgettable seconds had already etched themselves inside the deepest corner of _his_ heart. _His_ Zhan-ge’s taste was still lingering on _his_ lips.

 _He_ had hugged Xiao Zhan. The elder had hugged _him_ back. He had even scooped _him_ up on his lap… Yibo counted… once, twice, thrice… he had carried _him_ … was this finally the reality?

The best feeling in the world was being with someone who wanted _him_ as much as _he_ wanted them. Xiao Zhan loved _him_. This feeling was yet to sink deeper into Yibo but _his_ poor heart was already wanting to cry in one moment and then laugh loudly in the next moment.

How did it happen? Why could _he_ never realize that Xiao Zhan had loved _him_ all these whiles? His arguments, rage, fights, possessiveness… how many times Xiao Zhan had made it so evident that he loved Yibo? Anyone, with a sane mind, could have perceived the truth.

Yibo’s Zhan-ge was one idiot to have not recognized his own feelings and Yibo was another, to have never even tried to figure out what made the other person so mad and restless about every third topic or person, whatever came in between the two of them.

Unable to fathom the desires of _his_ own heart in the current moment, Yibo at last, drew in some deep breaths and resumed washing _his_ face.

Love is a pretty powerful drug. When you feel it, you _really_ feel it.

Yibo realized this was not hallucination. This was the truth.

Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo got tangled with each other in a relationship which was not just dreaming about a fairy tale. It was about facing reality and supporting each other at every phase.

To be continued…


	23. Some Madness in Love

There was pin-drop silence in the drawing room, during the evening tea time, which was unusual in their house, especially when the two _‘enemies forever’_ were staying under the same roof.

The scenario was somewhat like this… one was sitting at the dining table, with full focus frozen on the screen of his phone on which both of his thumb fingers were hovering violently. The other person could be seen sitting on the sofa, eye brows furrowed, annoyance clearly written on _his_ face as _his_ gaze travelled back and forth, from the TV screen, in front, to the apple of _his_ eyes sitting by the table and then back to the TV, again returning to scan the human form of the opposite pole of _his_ heart’s magnet.

The first person at the table, too, was not at all in his usual calm composure. He was typing a message and then glancing at his beloved, at seven steps distance from him, on the sofa, while waiting for a reply. Once his phone beeped, his attention switched to his mobile, again.

That was the sixth time, it happened… Yibo looked at Xiao Zhan and he was still preoccupied with that damn device. The younger could no longer hold himself back and shouted at the top of _his_ voice, _“So, you will blackmail me ** **LIKE THIS**** … ****LIKE THIS****. You are not even looking at me. I am wounded, I have a fever, yet ****YOU DON’T EVEN FUCKING CARE**** ”_

Xiao Zhan looked up, “I checked thrice. You don’t have a fever, Bo”

****_“WHO SAID?”_ ** **

****“I SAY”** **

The grown-up cats started howling at each other and this continued for ten minutes at a continuous before Yibo stopped to take in some deep breaths.

With a sudden alerting gape, the elder left his seat and with long strides swallowed the distance in between them and Yibo was, at once, caged in a warm embrace. _He_ smiled inwardly. Xiao Zhan worriedly rubbed _his_ back, even pressed a soft kiss on _his_ cheek while tensely murmuring beside _his_ ears, “I am sorry. I am sorry. I won’t shout at you. Calm down. Don’t shout. Are your ribs hurting?”

Yibo was wicked enough to know how to win the game, trickily, that _he_ was bound to lose, observing the direction towards which their argument was approaching and _he_ loved Xiao Zhan enough to know what could make him restless and give in to the fight, before he could declare his final decision.

 _“Zhan-ge, zhan-ge”_ , opening an eye and faking a pained expression, Yibo whined.

The elder hugged _him_ comfortingly and kissed _him_ on _his_ lips. “Relax… don’t take stress”

 _“Oh, it feels weird”_ , staring at Xiao Zhan’s mouth, that _he_ had yet not finished devouring, _Yibo_ muttered.

“What feels weird?”, the elder asked.

_“Kissing my best friend”_

“What?”

_“Zhan-ge, it feels weirdly amazing. I mean you have been my friend, very close friend. Then we became the best of friends and now look at us. All that I have been doing since yesterday is kissing you, eating, again kissing you, sleeping, kissing you in my dreams, then waking up and kissing you again”_

Xiao Zhan did not know what to say. He stared blankly and stuttered, “You feel… you… you don’t feel good?”

_“Offcourse, I feel good. It feels great. I never felt like this before”_

“Huh, before? … how many times did you kiss before?”

_“As if I maintain a register… we both have kissed before, so many times. So, many actresses. You will go back tomorrow to your shoot and you will kiss. Do they even count?”_

“That’s right. They are just feather touches or pecks. My senses remain so concentrated on the director’s voice on the speaker that half of the time I don’t even realize when I start kissing and when I pull away”

Yibo chuckled softly. _“How many relationships were you in, Zhan-ge, before me?”_

“Well, talking about dating… I think I dated thrice”

 _“ ** **WHATTT! THREE**** times?”_, the younger’s eyes grew bigger. _“Too many”_

“Why? How many were you in?”, Xiao Zhan asked.

Yibo pulled away from the hug, only to sit in a more comfortable position from where _he_ could look straight at _his_ favourite person’s face.

 _“I had two relationships before”_ , _he_ answered.

For a moment Xiao Zhan did not know how to react and then he lightly slapped Yibo on _his_ left cheek before inclining forwards and pressing a kiss over there, as if trying to ease away the pain, if there occurred any, because of the slap.

“You are a brat. I thought you will be saying that you had none and three seems too many for you”

Placing a hand on _his_ cheek, Yibo rubbed the skin a little and then signalled the elder one to kiss _him_ again. _“Zhan-ge, why did you slap me so tight?”_

The elder threw his head back and laughed before dropping another peck on the other’s precious cheek.

_“Zhan-ge, do you mind me asking you about your past relations?”_ , Yibo pouted.

Xiao Zhan pulled him towards his chest as he slowly leaned back against the hand rest of the sofa. Yibo fitted within those arms from where _he_ drew the heaven’s solace.

“You have your rights, Yibo”, the elder replied politely and continued, “I dated a girl the first time when I was in school. You know what happens during those times, right? We used to hold hands and go to school together. Then sharing tiffin, watching movies in the afternoon by bunking classes, that was the definition of romance for me, in childhood days”

_“How long?”_

“One whole term… around six months”

_“Mn. Then?”_

“The next two dates were during my college years. I had a crush on a girl, one-year senior to me. We dated for two months. She finished her graduation and that was it”

Yibo punched Xiao Zhan lightly on his chest and then placed a kiss on his shoulder from above his shirt. _“You disloyal man. Why did you not try to get back in touch with her?”_

“Because she was she. She was not Wang Yibo that without her, I will lose my own existence”

 _“Oh, stop it, Zhan-ge”_ , Yibo blushed.

“No, I am serious. You don’t know what happened to me after you started to avoid me. I was lost. I had nothing without you. I will never again be able to have anything without you. I don’t even want anything. This career, this success… I don’t want them if I cannot share them with you”

Yibo stayed tongue-tied for some time before _he_ slowly parted his mouth to speak. _“Since when did you become like this, Zhan-ge?”_

Still laying on the sofa with Yibo on top of him, Xiao Zhan nodded. “I don’t know. I used to think that with you, I am happy and content. That was my ultimate destination. But you left… Only then it occurred to me that I want you more, many times more than I ever wanted anything else or anybody else”

 _“Mn… me too”_ , the younger admitted in a whisper.

Xiao Zhan heard _him_ or not, _he_ could not interpret. He asked, _“And the third one?”_

“She was my junior. We dated for a month and then I graduated and left college”

_“Are you stupid? Why do you never get back in touch with your girlfriends?”_

Xiao Zhan was exasperated. “You are angry with me because I did not love my ex-es”

 _“Yes, why did you do that?”_ , Yibo glared.

“To love you”, the elder answered softly.

Another light punch landed on his jaw, followed by a peck below his ear and Xiao Zhan giggled at the tickling sensation from the younger’s lips against his skin.

Yibo sighed. _“You are so irking, Zhan-ge. I can’t stand you at all yet I love to be with you all the time”_

“But some minutes ago, you said, kissing me feels weird”, the elder’s tone displayed fake complaint.

 _“I said it wrong. Actually, Zhan-ge, kissing you feels the weirdest”_ , Yibo cackled with laughter. _“It’s something which I never had imagined in the wildest of my dreams. To love You was something but to love you and be loved by you means everything”_

 _He_ cupped Xiao Zhan’s neck and turned his head to face _him_. Their mouths met. Their pair of lips gently sucked on each other. Yibo pulled away.

****_“You taste like wine, a flavour only I discovered. May be that’s why it feels weird. Weird is not a negative emotion. It defines supernatural, unearthly”_ ** **

The elder smiled and rejoined their hearts through theirs lips. Their tongues danced together in rhythm of their racing hearts. They brushed along each other’s parting in between their lips and their kiss deepened. Holding their breaths, they clung onto each other to their hearts’ content, deriving energy and blowing new lives into each other.

Yibo ran _his_ fingers through the other’s hairs and then grasping them in a fist he pulled him away and broke off kiss.

 _“And… and…”_ , Yibo panted.

“Speak fast…”. Xiao Zhan’s breaths too came in short gasps.

_“Kissing you… Zhan-ge… feels the weird because when we do it, I start wanting you in the worst way”_

“You have me”, Xiao Zhan replied, smilingly, and they resumed their act of bringing soul to this new recipe of making life taste better with each other.

The moment between them was disturbed as the elder’s phone in his hand vibrated a few times in a row. They, very reluctantly, pulled away and Xiao Zhan looked at the screen.

 _“What happened?”_ , Yibo asked, settling himself in the other’s embrace, placing _his_ head on his chest while breathing in some oxygen to fill _his_ lungs.

“My manager. She informed she is going to pick me up from here tomorrow at 9 am”, Xiao Zhan sighed.

 _“Zhan-ge, don’t go”_ , the younger snuggled.

“Bo-di, I don’t want to”, the elder hugged _him_ back tightly, letting out a groan.

 _“Did you think of a proper lie for both of us?”_ , Yibo looked up.

“Lie… what?”

 _“Our agencies and managers are going to ask us where were we for so long and what were you doing over here, at my place. Our bodyguards already did us the great honour by informing both our agencies that ‘The Xiao Zhan’ has been staying with ‘The Wang Yibo’ in his apartment since yesterday night”_ , Yibo shrugged.

“ ** **OH SHIT!**** Didi?”

_“Yes, my dear… now quickly come up with a story so that we don’t get caught if they cross check on us”_

Xiao Zhan ran his fingers through his hairs in frustration. “Offcourse we are gonna lie. But did not you say me earlier that my manager knew that you visited me the day after the Tencent Awards?”

_“Yeah, but I told her that I was just going to see you, that’s it”_

“Okay, so let it be like this. You came to see me because I was ill and then you convinced me into taking a holiday and visit my parents. I went to Chongqing and you went to Beijing for personal reasons”

_“Yes… and it was only because we were great friends in the past but now, not anymore. Yet when you heard about my accident, out of humanity and memories of our old friendship, you came to see me”_

“And I argued with Du Hua”, Xiao Zhan scratched the back of his head.

 ** ** _“YES, YES… NOW RUIN OUR PLANS. WHO ASKED YOU TO GO AND FIGHT WITH HER?”_**** , Yibo yelled.

 ** **“SHE WAS NOT LETTING ME SEE YOU”**** , the elder shouted back.

_“Okay… stop fighting”_

****“YOU ARE FIGHTING, BO-DI”** **

****_“WILL YOU STOP, ZHAN-GE?”_ ** **

They both toned down their voices and leaned against each other.

“I hate you”, Xiao Zhan said.

 _“I hate you too”_ , Yibo replied. _“Listen… you were not in good mood that day because… okay, my friend Qui Ying was pestering you into bringing her a news of me because she could not reach me through phone. You were having to come and see your enemy, I mean, me…”_

“Stop with your non-sense, Bo. No one is going to believe us. The story should be like this – I was genuinely worried because… you were my friend in the past”

_“Zhan-ge, so you came to see me and I was suffering from fever”_

“And your mother could not come immediately because… because…”

_“Tickets were not available”_

“Right”. They both laughed out loud.

_“So, you stayed with me and you will leave tomorrow with a promise to yourself, never to see me again”_

Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo giggled together like two delighted children taking fun, discussing about a new fairy-tale.

 ** **“Do you think they will buy it?”**** , the elder asked.

 ** ** _“We both are actors, by profession”_**** , the younger reminded and pulled the other one towards himself, _his_ mouth slanting over _his_ Zhan-ge’s in a possessive and searing kiss.

Amidst the passionate moment in between them, something crossed Xiao Zhan’s mind and he blinked a few times and gripped Yibo’s ear in between his fingers.

“Wait… wait”, he moved back.

_“What… ** **LEAVE MY EAR**** ”_

“ ** **YOU BRAT**** … Don’t attempt to distract me. This does not change my earlier decision”

Yibo pouted. _“Zhan-ge, noooooo. I am tired of fighting. Please… I can take care of myself”_

Xiao Zhan released the younger’s ear and tilted his head to press a kiss on it. “Yibo. I have to return to shoot tomorrow. Work is important, my dear”

_“I am not stopping you. It has been already a long vacation for you. You must go back but trust me I will be okay. These are minor injuries”_

“No. I am calling Aunty”

_“No, Zhan-ge. I don’t need her”_

“Stop being so stupidly rigid. Now, you need your mother the most”

_“I will be fine”_

“You need help till you are able to walk without support”

_“No”_

“No”

_“Never”_

“Always”

_“Don’t quarrel”_

“Don’t irritate”

****_“XIAO ZHAN”_ ** **

****“WANG YIBO”** **

They argued tirelessly for some more time and Yibo lost. Xiao Zhan made it clear and final that he would be leaving the next morning and Yibo’s mother will catch the early morning flight and come to stay with _him_ till _he_ recovered fully.

The wrangle in between did not really create any misunderstanding in between them. They were once again back to hugging, busy adoring and loving each other.

****Who would say that they had no idea that they were in love with each other, until a few days ago? Actually, it was not about how long they were in love or how long it had been since they realized and confessed.** **

****Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo had loved each other from the day they met for the Script Reading of _‘Chen-Qing-Ling’_. No matter what hurdles came in their way and separated them, they ultimately found their way back to each other.** **

****Remaining confined in each other’s arms was not something unusual. They belonged there forever. Being somewhere else, other than by each other’s side would had been something unnatural and queer.** **

****** **

The next morning Xiao Zhan was getting ready and sitting on the bed, Yibo was observing him.

_“You will be in trouble Zhan-ge. Please take care and act good”_

“I will manage”

 _“You are smelling of me”_ , the younger’s brows knitted in worry.

“And this is exactly why I love wearing your clothes. This pant fits me perfect”

_“But the shirt is loose on you, Zhan-ge. My shoulders are broader than you”_

“Yet you fit so perfectly in my arms. How?”, turning his head, Xiao Zhan winked.

_“Stop it… quickly think of a story for this”_

“It’s so simple Bo-di. I will say that we bought the same pair of dresses two years before so they look the same”

_“These are single pieces. The brand doesn’t make two”_

“Tsk… No one will notice”

_“As if the fans are blind. You will step into the airport and people will take pictures of you. They are normally in the habit of comparing your dresses with those that I wore 100 years before. They will find out”_

Xiao Zhan laughed. “Nothing can be done, now. I did not bring my luggage. So, I am left with no other option”

Yibo sighed. _“Alright, try to avoid the cameras, then”_

“Okay”

The elder’s manager called him and he hurriedly shoved his phone into his pocket, ready to leave.

“Auntie’s flight is delayed by one hour. She will arrive soon. You don’t move much”

 _“Okay”_ , Yibo mumbled.

“I will lock the door from outside and I have texted the unlock code to your mother. So, you don’t have to get up from bed”

 _“Okay”_ , Yibo said in a dejected tone before spreading out his arms wide for a hug.

Xiao Zhan walked towards the bed and embraced him.

 _“And what about a story for my mother?”_ , Yibo asked, breaking the hug.

“What story?”

_“About our staying together for so many days”_

The elder seemed confused. “Think of anything and text me the story. Auntie is going to bring a new phone for you. Insert your sim into it and let me know as soon as you get the phone, okay”

They once again hugged.

Xiao Zhan kissed Yibo on _his_ cheek. “Take care”

Yibo kissed him back on his lips. _“You too take care. Travel safe”_

****“I hate you. Bye Bye, Lao Wang”** **

_****“I hate you too. Bye, baobao”** ** _

_**** _

To be continued…


	24. This World Questions Love

Xiao Zhan was sitting in his makeup room, when his manager brought him a cup of coffee. He smilingly bowed at her, accepting it and keeping the mug on the tea table beside.

“So, how was your vacation, Xiao Zhan?”, his manager asked.

 ** **“Good”****. He preferred to keep things short, simple and positive.

“That’s a relief to hear. How is your health?”

 ** **“I am doing better. Thank you”**** , Xiao Zhan gave her his graceful smile.

“I am happy to know that. You came back in less than half a month. We weren’t expecting to see you this soon. If you needed another week or two, there would have been no problem. All of us wanted you to recover, your health remains our first priority”, she said.

 _‘LIE’_. Xiao Zhan wanted to scoff mockingly at her joke. They did not care about their losses, the money they would have made in these fifteen days if Xiao Zhan did not stop working? Even the fiction written in the pages of the script binding, lying on his lap, was more convincing that this pretence of his manager and his agency.

****“That’s alright. Some of the world’s best medicines were prescribed to me by my doctor and I gradually realized that he is a magician in disguise”**** , came the sweet and uncomplicated response.

The actor, who had been in the film industry for the past eight years, very well knew how to keep a balanced relationship with everyone, who he was working for and with. He knew how to maintain control of his composure, temper and keep a cool head in work field.

“But, Xiao Zhan, you did not even tell me that you were coming back. I suddenly got a call from the agency that you asked for bodyguards at the Shanghai airport and then you went to see Wang Yibo. Is that true?”

 _‘You very well know that is true. You want me to elaborate. You just need an explanation’_ , he wanted to say.

 ** **“Yeah, actually after the Tencent awards, Wang Yibo showed up in my apartment”**** , he replied, instead.

“I know. He had called me to ask me about your health. I don’t know why is that person, once again, trying to be in touch with you. I mean he was the one to have broken all ties. Though we all know, that decision of his was a blessing for your career, in disguise. I was hoping that the same was for him too. Yet he had to come back”, she said in a go.

Xiao Zhan kept staring into her eyes for a long moment before slowly parting his lips for a reply. ****“Why did you let him?”****

“Huh?”

****“Why did you let him contact me?”** **

“I let him? Oh c’mon, why will I? You know him, right? Wang Yibo is an extreme impolite and arrogant man. He is just a…”

 ** **“What did he do for you to come to this conclusion?”**** , Xiao Zhan cut her words.

“He threatened me”, she gritted her teeth.

 ** **“How?”**** , Xiao Zhan was surprised.

“He asked me ‘Where is Zhan-ge?’. I wanted to avoid him when he suddenly said that he knew other means by which he could get in touch with you and help you if you are in need, but that might be more of a hassle and draw unnecessary public attention. So, it would be better if I let him see you and convince your shooting team to postpone the shoots so that you get the desired time for your recovery”

Xiao Zhan wanted to laugh out loud. Yibo did not belong to this world for sure. _He_ was such a straightforward and unmanageable person. This was why people always mistook _him_ to be of unfriendly and rude personality.

Xiao Zhan wanted to say that his man was not like that. Instead _he_ was the most childish, kind, caring and was of compassionate personality. He felt happy that Yibo could stand against anybody for him, unbothered about what everyone was thinking of _him_. But he felt sad too. Yibo did not deserve to be misapprehended like this. His man was the best person, Xiao Zhan had in his life. He felt blessed even at the thought that out of all lucky people in the world, Yibo chose to love him. That made the elder person, the luckiest one alive.

****“Umm… actually Yibo is not that bad, though”**** , unable to restrain himself, Xiao Zhan tried to explain. That was a poor idea, he knew. A very risky step that he was taking but he believed that he could keep things under his control.

So, he continued, ** **“You know him for as long as I, isn’t it? He had always been very polite with you too”****

“That was only because I am your manager. People related to you was special for him, that bloody ga…”

 ** **“Wait”****. Xiao Zhan interrupted her. Gathering his fingers, tight, into his fist, he forced a smile on his face. ****“Yibo was my best friend. Everybody knows that. The whole world is aware of the bond that we shared previously. I agree, the way we ended up was bad, but still we both have a soft corner for each other in our hearts. Seeing me ill, he was just worried. Worried because I am his old acquaintance. You know, he acts clumsy often”****

“You are defending him, Xiao Zhan?”

****“I am not. I just want to make things clear before building any misconception for anybody. He came to see me but that was it. Nothing else. He talked to me for an hour, the day he visited me. He advised me to see a doctor and take medicines. I really found those suggestions worthy”** **

“Rehab centre? What if anyone found out?”, she sounded concerned.

 ** **“Didn’t you say earlier that my recovery is more important?”**** , Xiao Zhan let out a scornful laugh.

His manager remained quiet.

****“I did not visit a rehab. Yibo helped me find a doctor who I consulted in private”** **

“Okay”

****“Yibo and me chatted for a while about our… work and stuff and he left. He told me casually that he was also on a vacation. That was it. Nothing more, nothing else”** **

“And about your seeing him two days before?”, his manager enquired.

****“Well, I will not deny that he was so close to me once upon a time. He came at his own will to see me when I was ill. Is it really strange for me, to think about paying him a visit, hearing about his meeting with an accident?”** **

****

Xiao Zhan’s delivery of lines, his body language, the expressions on his face – he was considered to be one of the greatest actors of their country, for a reason.

“Why did you stay at his place yesterday?”, she asked.

Xiao Zhan was expecting this. With the usual smile plastered on his face, he politely replied, ****“His mother was about to arrive but tickets were not available. She had to wait another day. Yibo seemed really weak. He could not even take a step on his own”****. This was not a lie, though. He continued, ****“Is this wrong to help someone in his distress? Especially when he had been my friend, earlier”****

His manager was caught unguarded. She clearly did not approve of the idea of Xiao Zhan being friends with Wang Yibo, that had always earned so much controversies and rumours in the past but the way Xiao Zhan asked her, she could not tell him, forthright, not to get himself involved with the other one, especially when that person had helped him and was now, himself, in need of a support.

“Are you friends with him?”, she asked.

****“No, but we chose to be normal acquaintances, from now onwards, instead of avoiding each other”** **

“But still, I will advise you to stay away from him”

****“Why is it that?”** **

“His drama _‘The Way to My Heart’_ is taking the second place among the top searches, these days. They have not yet finished shooting and the netizens are overexcited. We don’t want your works getting overshadowed by the craze of him among the fans”

Xiao Zhan did not say anything further.

His manager got up from her seat. “Revise the script once again. Shooting will resume in an hour”

He nodded.

His manager was about to exit when Xiao Zhan called her from behind.

****“JieJie”** **

“Yes”, she turned back.

****“I am not a social media addict, yet I keep a watch on Weibo trending searches, often”** **

“So?”

****“So, Wang Yibo’s new drama is not the second most popular searches, these days. It keeps on switching places with me. Sometimes my movie shooting clips earn more attention and sometimes his. We are equal”** **

She narrowed her eyes and kept silent, waiting for him to finish speaking.

Xiao Zhan continued, ****“Don’t worry. We are not rivalling. He is Him. I am Me. Our works are not comparable. Please wish me good luck so that I can give my best”**** , he bowed a little.

The corner of her lips curled up a little and that convinced him that his stories were bought well. She might show a hint of suspicion regarding a few things if she tried to dig further into this conversation of theirs but Xiao Zhan knew she would not. She was too busy to keep researching about where was he and what he did in the past fifteen days.

The actor was back. He resumed his work. That was all that everybody wanted from him.

“Good luck. Work hard”

 ** **“Thank you”****. He said and she left the room.

Xiao Zhan let out a huge breath and hurriedly went to lock the door from inside. He pulled out his mobile from inside his pocket and dialled a number, waiting from the other person to receive his call.

The phone rang a few times and a velvet, zealous voice could be heard on the line.

_“My Sweetheart is already missing me? I am missing you too”_

“Cut the crap. Listen to me carefully. I…”

 ** ** _“WHAT CRAP? I CAN’T EVEN EXPRESS MY LOVE”_**** , Yibo yelled, as usual.

 ** **“WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME?”**** , Xiao Zhan shouted back.

****_“WHY WILL I? WHY… WILL… I? ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?”_ ** **

****“WHAT I AM ABOUT TO SAY IS MORE IMPORTANT, BO”** **

****_“AM I NOT IMPORTANT?”_ ** **

****“WHEN DID I SAY THAT?”** **

****_“ZHAN-GE”_ ** **

****“BO-DI”** **

The elder person heard the other one letting out a huge breath and then in a soft tone _he_ replied, _“Say”_

“Did you talk to your manager or Du Hua?”

_“Yes”_

“Yes? About what?”

_“Just my health”_

“About us?”

_“Nothing. Seems like they are gonna question me face to face. Don’t worry. According to our previous plans, we will say that we still are not in good talking……”_

“No, no, no, Yibo… no… wait”

_“What?”_

“There is a change in plan. I just had a talk with my manager and the way she was reacting at every sentence where I was mentioning you, I could not even bring the topic of my staying at your place, until she herself asked me about the same”

_“Shit… okay tell me”_

“You don’t tell anyone that we are being enemies or something like that. 100% lying will give rise to various suspicions. Tell them the truth that we are now talking with each other… not like previous times but yeah, we are in touch. You helped me. So, I went to see you. Auntie could not come. I stayed at your place because you needed someone and all this is because we are once again friends”

_“Friends? Will they approve of it?”_

“Not close friends… but casual”

_“Okay… I understand, but… why did your manager react like that? What’s wrong in being with touch ex-co-stars?”_

Xiao Zhan stayed silent for a few seconds before coming up with a response. ****“This homophobic world won’t approve of us, Yibo. You know the hatred, the bashes that we had faced earlier… since our A-Ling days. It has always been like this”****

 _“But we never cared about those in the past”_ , Yibo said.

“That was because, we truly had nothing more than friendship in between us. But now… things are different. They see us as rivals… as competitors in our acting world. They keep on checking and comparing our ratings and rankings and all the unnecessary useless stuff”

Yibo did not respond. _He_ quietly kept listening to Xiao Zhan.

“Yibo”

_“Mn”_

“Are you upset, my love?”

_“Why are people like this? What crime are we committing?”_

Xiao Zhan knew, he had no answer to the other’s questions but he also knew Yibo was a very understanding person and _he_ understood what the elder was explaining to _him_.

****“Fuck them all. I love you, Yibo”** **

The younger one giggled. _“Me too… You left today morning. It’s just evening and I am missing you so much, ge”_

“Hmmm… Shall we meet?”

_“Meet? How?”_

“Oh, your legs are in a poor condition. I can’t even take you…”

 _“No… no… my legs are fine, fine, fine… gege. Let’s meet”_. Needless to say, Yibo was excited.

“Okay… four days later, I am free. The other cast is going to shoot and they gave me a day off. I will be travelling to Suzhou for a photoshoot”

_“Suzhou? 2 hours driving distance from my place, Zhan-ge”_

“Exactly… I did not know that they will ask me to go over there”

_“Cool… gege, let’s meet”_

“Then think of a way to manage your mother. I will come in a cab at 1 am. I will wait near the elevator. Just come out of your apartment. The rest is upto me”, the love and adoration in Xiao Zhan’s voice – Yibo could feel that through the phone.

 _“Zhan-ge, take good care of me, then”_. The elder could literally hear the other one grinning on the line. His heart swelled with warmth

“Let me get my hands on you, I will treat you well”

The hint of teasing made the Yibo blush. _“Okay done. Thursday. Midnight - 1 am, in front of the elevator. I will wait for you”_

“Don’t… I will arrive and call you. Only then you will come out”

_“Okay… and Zhan-ge, make sure to cover that pretty face of yours properly. I don’t want that cab driver to kidnap and take away my man”_

****“SHUT UP, BO”** **

****_“I WILL NOT”_ ** **

****“Haha… I give a damn to this homophobic world. We wasted two whole years of our lives. Not anymore”** **

****_“Never, Zhan-ge. Others won’t decide who we choose to love”_ ** **

Xiao Zhan hummed, smiling to those words at his heart’s content.

To be continued…


	25. Let's Meet in Secret

Yibo tiptoed outside _his_ apartment and closed the door behind _him_. Pressing his back against it, _he_ debated what to do. He glanced at _his_ wrist watch, the 7th time. The dial displayed 1:07 am. Quietly, _he_ took a look to the end of the hallway, wondering if _he_ should approach the elevator and wait downstairs in the parking lot or not.

Though Xiao Zhan had told _him_ several times to wait for his call first, but, how could _he_? _His_ heart was thumping loudly, already, at the thought of seeing _his_ beloved. The person who _he_ had known for four years by now, _he_ could not understand where was this nervousness and overenthusiasm coming from?

 _‘Slow down dude, slow down’_ , Yibo muttered to himself and holding the wall for support, _he_ slowly limped _his_ way towards the elevator. Pressing the button, _he_ impatiently waited. A minute later _he_ realized that the elevator was taking unusually long to arrive. _He_ pressed the button again and waited some more seconds, while looking at the red light above, pointing downwards.

Finally, it arrived and the elevator door slid open before _him_. Scurrying into it and realizing _he_ had been holding _his_ breath, Yibo exhaled with momentary relief. _He_ looked at _his_ watch once again. 1:10 am. Yet, there was no call from the expected number.

As _he_ was going downwards, Yibo felt an unexplainable pain on _his_ injured knee. _He_ held onto the rail on the wall of the elevator for support, because it was the only way to keep himself from falling.

Soon after, it reached the ground floor and the door opened. Yibo straightened himself to walk outside, when _his_ eyes met the familiar figure standing on the other side, staring back at _him_.

Both of their faces were covered under masks, hairs combed back, black caps sitting on them and thick black hoodies covering their bodies.

_“Zhan-ge”_ , Yibo face, instantly, brightened up. Forgetting _his_ throbbing leg, _he_ was about to step outside when the man in front raised his hand, signaling _him_ to stop moving.

The door was about to close. The other person quickly slid through it and entered the elevator.

Before Yibo could say another word, the tall figure collided himself with the younger’s body, wrapping _him_ up in a bone crushing hug, at the same time putting a hand below _his_ hips while lifting _him_ up from above the floor. Yibo, welcomed the move without questioning and in a split second, encircled _his_ legs around the other’s waist, burying _his_ face into the taller one’s neck, above his hoodie, inhaling his expensive perfume.

_“Zhan-ge”_

“Hmm”

_“You are late”_

“Why are you here, already?”

_“I was losing my god damn patience”_

Xiao Zhan swiftly turned left, with Yibo in his arms, facing the side wall of the elevator. He slammed the younger’s back against it, while placing his hand in between his dearest’s neck and head that acted as a cushion, keeping _him_ from hurting the behind of _his_ head.

Clutching onto Xiao Zhan tightly, Yibo pulled away a little to look at his face. The elder person stared back. Nothing except the two pairs of eyes, of the two people whose frames were clamped together, was visible.

One of Yibo’s arms untied from around Xiao Zhan’s neck and it lingered over the buttons of the elevator, on the adjacent wall. In a few seconds, _his_ fingertip found what _he_ was looking for and without breaking eye contact with _his_ beloved, Yibo pressed the button to the 50th floor. The lift started moving up, gradually.

It felt like they have all the time in the world, reserved for just the two of them. Holding each other closely, their foreheads touched. Yibo cradled Xiao Zhan’s face in both _his_ hands and took off his face mask.

Finally, _his_ person was in front of him. At last, Yibo got to see what _his_ soul was pinning for so long. In one easy move, _his_ own mask came off and _his_ lips mashed against the other’s. Xiao Zhan kissed _him_ like _he_ wanted to be kissed, like no-one had ever kissed _him_ , soft and moist and hot and breathy, not trying to win a battle but seeking devotion, affection and closeness.

It still wasn’t clear if Xiao Zhan dreamed this moment to life, but there was raw emotion in the way Yibo’s fingers curled around his. He kept his eyes half open, sneaking a guilty peek at the younger one every time he came back for air, just to make sure this wasn’t a product of his imagination.

The elevator slowed down as it reached its destination. The elder paused their passionate moment and gently sighed. He could feel Yibo’s lips, against his mouth, stretching a bit – the younger one was smiling.

“Yibo”

_“Mn”_

“Can anyone come?”

_“No”_

“Hmm”

Yibo understood the other’s state of mind and once again _his_ hand touched the side wall, finger tips lingered over the round switches and he pressed the Ground floor button. The lift started going down.

Xiao Zhan closed his eyes but he could hear the crinkling of his angel’s smile. Yibo maneuvered _his_ mouth into position, tilting _his_ head so that their lips could meet firmly and happily, once more.

The elevator once again came to a halt. Yibo lightened the kiss and giggled into the other’s mouth. As _he_ pulled back, Xiao Zhan nibbled on the tip of _his_ nose, then kissed it, his eyes opened to see Yibo’s brightening gaze fixed on his face.

“Hey”

_“What?”_

“Up”

Yibo nodded a little and _he_ pressed the button to the 50th floor, they remained locked inside the small space that was now moving upwards.

 _“Gege”_ , Yibo sheepishly placed a kiss on Xiao Zhan’s chin.

“Hmm”

_“Are they making you overwork?”_

“I am okay”

_“You look tired”_

“Now I am feeling energetic”

_“Put me down”_

The elder sighed, snuggling his face against the younger’s chest. Yibo’s legs tightened around Xiao Zhan’s hips and _his_ fingers threaded through the other person’s hairs.

_“When is your photoshoot?”_

“11 in the morning”

_“And you are not getting any sleep, tonight”_

“That’s alright”

The younger tucked _his_ chin around the elder’s head and drew him nearer.

 ** ** _“I love you means I accept you for whoever you are and I don’t wish to change you into someone else. I Love you means I don’t expect perfection from you just as you don’t expect it from me, do you understand, ge?”_**** , _he_ said.

Xiao Zhan looked up. Resting his chin against Yibo’s chest, he smiled a little.

“Why don’t you expect me to be perfect?”

_“Because you are a shit”_

They both giggled and Yibo pressed the ground floor button for the third time.

As the elevator was descending downwards, _he_ called, _“Zhan-ge”_

“Hmm”

 ** ** _“I love you means loving my immensely irritating ge, even when he is down and not just when he is fun to be with”_****. _He_ leaned forward and pressed a kiss on the elder’s forehead.

“Hmmm”, Xiao Zhan kept smiling through his eyes, his lips. He did not want to say anything that would interrupt the moment in between them.

****_“I love you means loving you even when you are too tired to do the things I want to do”_ ** **

“I really wanted to see you”. The elder finally said.

****_“I too wanted to see you. But the next time when you feel tired, please tell me. Tell me everything. I won’t feel good if my love is weary. I will feel good only when my treasured person is getting good amount of rest”_ ** **

“Then, will you come to see me?”

_“Let’s wait another week. My leg will be fine, by then. I will visit you. You don’t have to take so much stress”_

“Seeing you is never stress”

 _“Okay… I got you. Seeing me is no stress”_ , Yibo laughed. _“What are we going to do in the middle of the night, now?”_

“I want a room and take a nap with you”

_“Mom is at home”_

“I know”

_“Well… the rooftop is open now. It remains open 24 hours, though”_

“No-one will come, right?”

_“Everybody is sleeping, except you and me”_

Yibo pressed the button of the 50th floor. The elevator was now going up and their lips met again to experience the taste of happiness some more.

As they reached their destination, the door opened behind them. Xiao Zhan grinned and gently put Yibo down on the floor. Holding hands, they stepped outside.

Looking up at the sky, Yibo wondered why did people romanticise stars and moon and night sky so much? _He_ had been sitting there for more than an hour, _his_ back leaned against the wall. The weather was good. The cool breeze was filling up _his_ lungs, creating a sensation of peace, yet _he_ found no reason to keep gazing at the stars and get lost in them. Instead, _his_ neck was hurting from looking up for so long.

He tilted _his_ face and gently rested _his_ cheek on top of the head of the other person who was now lying in _his_ arms, hands kept on Yibo’s lap, face tucked in the nape of the younger’s neck and was fast asleep.

Yibo smiled to himself. All _his_ poetic passion in _his_ sentiment came from _his_ Zhan-ge. This pleasure, this gentleness, this love – everything settled peacefully in _his_ heart only when this person was with _him_.

Never had _he_ imagined that a day would come, when Xiao Zhan would sit with _him_ on the rooftop, leaning against _him_ and gradually falling asleep while listening to _him_ talking.

Never had he imagined that a night would come when _he_ would have _his_ Zhan-ge wrapped up in _his_ embrace, with the awareness in _him_ that _his_ only one loved _him_ too.

Xiao Zhan had said it right, their love had been difficult since the start. Their own realizations were hard, their acceptance of each other’s feelings were harder… and now this game of hide and seek where they both wanted to remain hidden forever from the rest of the world, afraid of being unacknowledged, bashed, blamed for reasons, they did not know, should be considered offensive or not. This phase had just started and it already felt like this would be the toughest to face.

Yet Yibo felt so good. Their togetherness brought _him_ happiness.

 _He_ had been loving Xiao Zhan for a long time and it was only recently that he realized that ****Love is supposed to bring everyone, peace. If it does not then it’s an illusion.****

Love, for Yibo, made _him_ see _his_ Zhan-ge no longer with _his_ eyes, touch _his_ Zhan-ge no longer with _his_ hands. _He_ felt _his_ Sunshine with _his_ soul, made him reside in _his_ heart.

_He_ rubbed _his_ cheek gently against Xiao Zhan’s soft hairs and inhaled the scent of the elder’s expensive shampoo. It felt like rain on a summer evening. It felt like an explosion of the best flavours in the universe all at once mingling together.

This was Yibo’s purpose in life.

_“Zhan-ge”_. Glancing at the watch that displayed 2:52 am, _he_ reluctantly called the sleeping figure.

Xiao Zhan did not move. Yibo held his chin gently and inclined _his_ head to kiss him on his forehead.

_“Zhan-ge”_

The elder person stirred a little, snuggling his face upto his beloved’s neck, gently dropping a peck on the side of Yibo’s throat.

“Shut up”

Yibo chuckled silently. _“Why?”_

“15 minutes more”

_“Okay… 15 mins more but you need to return to your hotel before 6”_

“I said shut up”

 _“Okay… sleep some more”_. Yibo tightened _his_ hold around the other one’s waist and patted him lightly.

Some minutes later, Xiao Zhan softly whispered beside _his_ ear.

“When are you thinking of returning to work?”

_“Next week”_

“Will that be okay?”

_“Absolutely… I am already much better”_

“Hmm”. Xiao Zhan’s fingertip was drawing invisible patterns on the knuckles of Yibo’s free hand, that was lying on _his_ lap.

He caressed the steel strap of Yibo’s wrist watch and tapped on its Radium dial.

 ** **“Looks perfect on you. I knew I could never be wrong. This suits you the best”**** , the elder mumbled to himself.

Yibo was surprised at what Xiao Zhan just said. He looked down at _his_ watch. _“What… what did you… you… Zhan-ge?”_

The other person pulled away from the hug and sat straight.

****“I am glad you are using it. Otherwise I was wondering if you might think of it as a fan-gift and keep it inside your showcase forever”** **

The younger one parted _his_ lips to say something but kept silent.

 ** **“What?”**** , Xiao Zhan laughed. ****“Shocked at the sudden revelation?”****

_“Why did you not…”_

****“Ummm… there are many more secrets in me”** **

_“Like?”_

****“Like… let me think… Did I tell you before that when you smile you look very beautiful, Bo?”** **

_“No”_ , Yibo shook _his_ head.

****“When you cry you look very ugly, yet I cannot take my eyes off you, did I ever tell you this?”** **

_“No”_

“Seems like there are so many things that I have never told you”

_“Zhan-ge?”_

“Yibo… I haven’t told you previously that when you fight with me and then out of habit, you would just lie down on bed, turning your back towards me and ask me to go away, I feel like crying”

Xiao Zhan entwined the younger’s fingers with his. He noticed Yibo’s palms were starting to sweat. He gently rubbed them with his own and caressed _his_ knuckles.

“Did I tell you, ever since we separated… whenever we met at various functions, parties and award ceremonies, each one of them I had attended only with the intention of reconciling with you? I had never let my feelings process in my mind but my whole focus had always been on you. For two years, I kept a close watch on you, what you were doing, where you were going, your shootings, racing and everything else”

 _“Really?”_. Yibo was left dazed.

“Yes”

_“And this watch… how do you...?”_

****“On the 5 th of August 2020, in ‘Wuhan Grand Hotel’ while shooting for ‘ _Being a Hero’_ … I suppose that was the 6th week of your shoot for the drama and you were staying in that hotel, Suit Number 402…”** **

_“How do you know that? GeGe… and… you remember it even today?”_

****“I never forgot but do you remember the young boy who went to you and gave you a bouquet of flowers while you were working out in the gym early morning…… on your birthday”** **

****_“I remember… someone had sent me Red Roses, a Birthday Greetings card and a gift box… with no name on it”_ ** **

****“Hmmm”** **

****_“This watch was the gift. I had always wondered, who else knew that I wanted to buy a Jaeger-LeCoultre wrist watch, for a long time”_ ** **

****“I knew”**** , the elder slowly responded.

****_“Offcourse, only you… How much was the price?”_ ** **

“I don’t remember”

_“Spit it out fast”_

“I said I don’t remember”

_“I am waiting, ge”_

****“185”** **

****_“Then”_ ** **

****“Then what?”** **

****_“How many zeros”_ ** **

****“Three”**** [A/N: 185000 Chinese yuan = 26369 USD😒 Our boys are rich]

 ** ** _“HAVE YOU LOST IT?”_**** , Yibo yelled.

****“sssshhhh… sssshhhh… people will wake up”** **

****_“HAVE YOU FUCKING LOST IT?”_**** , the younger shouted, again, at the top of _his_ voice.

****“ssshhh… okay, okay… on my birthday, buy me an Aeroplane. Now keep quiet”** **

****

To be continued…


	26. Keeping Our Secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not, carefully, re-check this chapter. Pardon the grammatical and typing errors, if there are any.

**_"HAVE YOU LOST IT?"_** , Yibo yelled.

"sssshhhh... sssshhhh... people will wake up"

 ** _"HAVE YOU FUCKING LOST IT?"_** , the younger shouted, again, at the top of _his_ voice.

"ssshhh... okay, okay... on my birthday, buy me an Aeroplane. Now keep quiet"

Yibo punched Xiao Zhan on his shoulder with a light warning force and exhaled. _"You are a total idiot and I don't know why I still chose to put up with you"_

The elder leaned over and kissed the other one's cheek. With a fake frown on _his_ face, Yibo pushed him away. He refused to move, though. Instead he let his head fall on Yibo's shoulder, drawing in some breaths.

 _"Drained?"_ , the younger asked.

"My neck is aching and the pain is radiating down my shoulders"

_"Yet, you had to come. Could you not tell me know that you are not feeling well today?"_

"You were waiting to see me. Being so close to your home, how could I not come? It's love"

**_"Telling me about your discomfort, sharing with me your problem is love too. It comprises of faith, reliance and your confidence in me that I understand you"_ **

Yibo tried to move a little. Xiao Zhan held _him_ by _his_ elbow and nestled his nose into Yibo's neck, desiring affection and a hug. The younger one recognized his yearnings and at once pulled him by his arms into _his_ lap. Without resisting, he willingly lied down, with his head placed on the younger's thigh.

 _"Turn on your side"_ , Yibo said and helped him turn around. Xiao Zhan obeyed, smiling to himself.

"Okay, then I will be honest with you, Bo. I came her for this, so that you can take care of me. Lying on the floor, with you beside me is more comforting than lying there alone in my shitty suit bed"

 _" **SHUT UP**. You can talk non-sense 24*7, without a pause"_, Yibo expressed _his_ fake annoyance for _his_ beloved person and curled _his_ hand, draping them over the elder's shoulder.

 _He_ used small motion of _his_ arm to gently squeeze and lift up on the thick muscles there, helping the other one work out as much tension as possible.

Xiao Zhan relaxed and let out a deep breath.

_"Zhan-ge"_

"Hmm"

**_"On the 5th August 2021, while I was shooting an episode for 'Day Day Up', someone from among the audiences came and handed me a big box, covered in red and green gift-wrapping papers, wishing me a Happy birthday. It had three LEGOs, attached with a Greetings Card"_ **

"And a Red Rose too, you forgot?", the elder remarked.

_"I remember"_

Xiao Zhan nodded.

_"Are you stupid? They are so expensive. Who told you to buy three sets?"_

"They were the new ones that were recently launched", the elder said.

Finding a comfortable rhythm to massage with proper technique, Yibo kneaded the other person's neck line for a few minutes before helping him turn on his other side so that _he_ could change _his_ directions and work _his_ way towards the elder's other shoulder. Xian Zhan felt more relaxed, refreshed and tension free.

 _"So, you had to buy all of them?"_. Yibo's fingers flattened against _his_ recipient's back and applying pressure, he swept _his_ hand in circles while massaging his beloved along his spinal cord. If rubbed right, this region can be felt extremely pleasurable and _he_ knew what _he_ doing was exactly upto Xiao Zhan's preferred level of massage.

**_"You must have sold one of your apartments to buy as many as three LEGOs and an awful expensive watch within a year"_**

**"And my pancreas too. I also donated one of my lungs"** , looking up at Yibo's face, the elder winked while fake coughing really loud at _him_.

 ** _"Shut up"_** , Yibo quickly bend down to press a kiss on his cheek. **_"You are so irksome"_**

**"The watch is awful? Don't you like it?"**

**_"I have a preference for awful things. Just look at you – my most hellish choice"_ **

"Did I spoil you, Yibo?", holding back his chuckle, Xiao Zhan asked.

The younger person's fingers continued moving in circular motion down Xiao Zhan's spine and then made their way up to the base of his skull.

_"What's new in that? You have always been spoiling me. Seems like when we were not together, even then you continued spoiling me"_

"Because I missed you a lot". Xiao Zhan said and changed side again. Yibo took it as a signal to continue messaging his previous side. The tightness in the muscles around the other person's shoulders were much relieved now.

_"Thank You, Zhan-ge, for the new skateboard and matching pair of shoes that you had sent me on my birthday, this year. They both are great"_

"Huh... this year, I did not send you anything", Xiao Zhan furrowed his eyebrows. "Who did?"

 _"My enemy's ghost"_ , Yibo shrugged.

"You call me a ghost?", The elder lifted his hand and pinched the other's cheek.

_"You are worse than that"_

"And you had to fall in love with a ghost", Xiao Zhan nodded.

 _"My ill fate that the ghost too had to love me back"_. The younger one moved _his_ head from side to side, conveying _his_ fake pity.

"Yibo"

_"Mn"_

_"_ _I noticed that you had stopped wearing the Gucci chain. May I ask why?"_

Yibo's moving fingers froze instantly. _He_ kept quiet for some time and resumed working with _his_ fingers along the other person's scalp, gently massaging his head.

"Don't you like wearing it? Shall I buy you a new one?"

_"......"_

"Yibo, Yibo, Bo-di"

_"What?"_

"You look so good in that. You neck looks empty, now. I will buy you a new and better chain, okay?"

_"No need"_

"Why?"

_"I don't need a new one"_

"Why? Are you scared that people will notice?"

_"No"_

"Then?". Holding Yibo's hand, Xiao Zhan pressed his lips on the back of _his_ palm. "You don't like me... giving you gifts?"

_"Zhan-ge?"_

"Hmm"

_"3:25 am. You have 35 mins to sleep. Take rest till then. I will wake you up at 4"_

"So, you won't tell me? Why? Why?"

 _"Sleep"_ , Yibo insisted, ignoring Xiao Zhan's question.

The elder did not say anything. He closed his eyes, neglecting the unknown tightness that spread across his chest. His lips quivered a little. He was hurt by Yibo's silence.

While thinking about what could had happened that made his beloved stop wearing _his_ favorite neck-chain, he did not realize when he dozed off to sleep, laying on Yibo's lap.

The first ray of the sunlight brightened up the night sky and Xiao Zhan fluttered his eyes. Stretching his arms, he felt revitalized. The soreness around his neck and shoulders were gone. Smiling to himself, he fully opened his eyes and looked around.

It was morning.

He looked up and noticed the handsome sleeping figure, leaned against the wall behind. Xiao Zhan quietly got up and sat straight. Silently he approached his beloved's peaceful face and pressed a firm kiss on _his_ mouth.

Yibo opened _his_ eyes and smiled at him. They pulled each other in a hug. The younger patted and rubbed the other person's back.

_"Feeling good?"_

"The best" and they tightened their embrace.

_God! What was the time!_ The realization hit them hard and they hurriedly broke apart. Yibo checked the time. 4:50 am

**_"SHIT"_ **

**"STOP SCREAMING BESIDE MY EARS, BO"**

They stood up and Xiao Zhan quickly adjusted his hoodie and put on his hat. Before he wore his face mask, Yibo held him by his arm and encircled _his_ hands around the elder's form, pulling him nearer.

_"Are you angry, baobao?"_

"No". Xiao Zhan buried his face into the younger's shoulder.

_"You are"_

"No. I am not"

Yibo tilted _his_ head and kissed _his_ lover on his cheek and temple.

 ** _"I was angry with you, back then. I was upset with myself. I was in a hurry to take off the chain. I might had pulled it with extra force and the chain... the chain... broke"_** , he honestly confessed.

Xiao Zhan broke the hug and looked at _him_. "It broke?"

_"Yes"_

Holding Yibo by his waist, their mouths met in a soft kiss.

"It's okay"

_"You are no longer angry with me, right?"_

"I love you, Yibo", Xiao Zhan said.

Yibo smiled at him. _"I love you too"_

"I know", the elder laughed.

_"Stop showing your teeth and go"_

Xiao Zhan put on his mask, covering his face and they walked away.

Two weeks later

As the director announced Pack-Up for the day, Yibo finally sat down on the chair beside. His waist was aching a little, from long hours of hanging down by the cable wires. The day was tiring. He could not even eat properly, during the lunch hours as he had to mug up some lengthy dialogues that were improvised suddenly and were required to be delivered in the next shot. Moreover, his three-layered heavy clothing, thick wig tied up to a bun... he felt really exhausted. He glanced at the wrist watch of the director standing at a distance. 1:10 am. Yibo looked up. The man was staring at _him_. _He_ tried to smile a little and stood up immediately and bowed.

 _"Thank you for your hard work, sir. We will meet tomorrow. Good night"_ , _he_ hurriedly spoke and was about to leave when the director called _him_ from behind.

"Wang Yibo?"

 _"Yes, sir"_ , Yibo turned back.

The man approached him. "Today you performed really great. I am glad to have gotten this opportunity to work with one of the best actors"

Yibo bowed respectfully. _"It's my pleasure too, sir. Thank you"_

"Yeahh", the middle-aged man nodded. There was an awkward silence in between them. One of them did not know what to say next and the other person did not know if he would sound too impolite by bringing up a sensitive topic to discuss over.

The directors and everyone among the cast knew Yibo was one kind of a man who was not easily approachable. He talked less, smiled less. A very professional person. When the camera was recording, he would laugh out loud, cry buckets, act stiff, be soft, anything that the script demanded. Behind the camera, he had that monotonous look on his face throughout the day. The whole team had been working for over two months by now and hardly had Yibo taken any selfie or picture with any of them, besides some of the senior actors who had approached him first and out of manners and respect, the younger man could not refuse.

The director was in good talking term with _him_. They discussed scripts and scenes and about the character sketches, but that was it. No other talk besides work.

But today it was necessary. It really was necessary for the worried man to face Yibo once and ask him to clear away the confusions.

He coughed slowly to draw the younger's attention who was now looking at his feet. Yibo lifted his head up, waiting for the other person to speak.

"Actually, Wang Yibo... uummm, people keep on asking about certain things, since they think I know you well because we have been working together at a continuous for the past few months"

 _"Mn"_ , the expected understanding nod, Yibo gave.

"If you don't mind, then..."

_"Please ask. Let's clear the misapprehension, if there is any"_

Woaahh! Yibo did not even hear the question and he already was confident that he had a clear character and career and anyone questioning that, was certainly mistaken.

The director slowly asked, **"Do you... I mean, is it true that even after all these times, you are still in a relationship with... you know, your ex costar?"**

Xiao Zhan's face at once crossed the younger's mind. Yibo felt consternated about where the discussion was approaching. He did not know why he was suddenly so alarmed and perturbed.

Clearing _his_ throat, _he_ tore away _his_ gaze. **_"No, no, he is... I mean he is just..."_**

 **"Actually, a recent news is floating on Weibo that she has broken up with her boyfriend. So, you know... people are speculating that it's you"** , the aged man spoke in a hurry, making sure not to let any misunderstanding finds its way in between the two, since they were needed to work together for three more months.

Yibo looked surprised. He was left tongue-tied at the sudden revelation. So, the rumor was not about _Them_! In repose, his face now looked relaxed.

**"Yibo... our show has been making headlines in the entertainment magazines since the start of shooting. We can safely assume that since you are the lead, this drama is already getting the most attention, these days and..."**

**_"No..."_** , Yibo cut his words. **_"The movie, Xiao Zhan is shooting for, right now, is the more eagerly anticipated. Ours is second in the list. I read news articles on a regular basis, sir"_** , _he_ said in a clear audible voice, with a straight face.

**"Yeah, yeah... right. I mean, one of the top two anticipated..."**

**_"The second most anticipated..."_** , Yibo corrected.

His Zhan-ge stood first in the list. His Zhan-ge was unbeatable. How could anyone even think of comparing anybody to his 'The Xiao Zhan'?

The director stood speechless.

**_"Sir, I know about this scuttlebutt. Last year I worked with ChenFeng in 'Love Contract' and since then the rumor about me dating her spread like wildfire. It's not true. Neither did I ever date her, nor do I have anything to do with her breakup and stuff"_ **

"Oh, okay okay... fine. I was just worried that any such news might create rift among the netizens since the actress has quite a big fan following"

_"Mn"_

"By the way, Yibo. Your agency has always released official statements, denying rumors about your love life. Why did not you deny anything in this case?", the director asked.

'Because I was angry with Zhan-ge. I loved Zhan-ge. I missed Zhan-ge. So, I did not deny such rumors. I wanted to let everybody and him know that I might be interested in other people too', Yibo's mind supplied.

 _"It never bothered me, sir"_ , _he_ replied instead.

"To avoid such rumors and the netizens' hatred, I think, your agency should make an official statement denying this glamour yard's furphies"

 _"Yeah... I will talk to them"_ , the young actor nodded in agreement.

"Good to know that you too think the same"

 _"I appreciate your concern, sir"_ , Yibo said in the most respectable tone.

The aged man smiled at _him_. "You are this acting industry's real gem"

 _He_ smiled back. Seeing the director quite pleased with _his_ response, _he_ bowed down again. _"Shall I take my leave, then?"_

"Sure... See you tomorrow. Good night"

 _"Good night, sir"_. Yibo walked away, with a mind floating in an ocean of confusion.

To be continued...


	27. Our Unrevealed Love

Staggering through the corridors and entering his makeup room, Yibo pushed the door closed behind him and walked towards the dressing table. Looking at his reflections in the mirror, he felt sad. Despite his tiring day, he was in a good mood since morning but something that happened a while ago, unexpectedly, robbed him off his feeling of contentment.

His conversation with the Director had disturbed his peace of mind. He usually never allowed the behaviour of others disturb his inner peace but he could not understand why was he suddenly scared and felt a little disorganized.

It was not a topic for him to overthink upon. Why would he? He was a public figure, accustomed to dealing with various kinds of rumors regarding his professional and private life from all kinds of people. He was in the habit of encountering innumerable embarrassing questions from reporters and fans.

And dating gossips were not something unwonted. Uncountable times he had been paired with various actresses, according to hearsay. Yibo had always ignored them.

He had heard from his manager that after the huge success of his drama series _‘Love Contract’_ , fans were very much appreciating his chemistry with the female lead, Lui ChenFeng.

 ** **“Wang Yibo is in a real life relationship with ChenFeng”**** became the hottest search in Weibo, besides ****“Xiao Zhan rejected the lead role offered to him in a fantasy drama that is to be adapted from a BL based novel”****

****** **

Pulling out _his_ mobile from inside _his_ pocket, Yibo unlocked the device.

3 notifications – 2 missed calls from Xiao Zhan and 1 message from the same.

Yibo clicked on _his_ WeChat to read the message from _his_ beloved.

 ** **“Baobao is missing his puppy**** – Xiao Zhan ** **”****

The message was sent to _him_ two hours ago. Yibo checked the time. It was 1:56 am. Xiao Zhan must had slept. He dropped the idea of calling _his_ person. Instead _he_ typed a reply for the elder one.

 ** ** _“Baobao’s puppy misses baobao too_**** – Wang Yibo ** ** _”_****

 _He_ then left a message for _his_ driver to get the car ready and keeping _his_ phone on the dressing table, _he_ hurriedly walked inside the bathroom to wash away _his_ make-up.

In fifteen minutes, Yibo was outside and _his_ car was already there waiting for him. Informing _his_ manager that he was leaving, _he_ got inside the vehicle and the driver drove away.

Leaning back against the seat, Yibo checked _his_ phone again.

1 new message. He clicked on it.

 ** **“Baobao’s puppy’s baobao is angry and jealous**** – Xiao Zhan ** **”****

Yibo smiled at the stupid text and typed back an equally stupid reply.

 ** ** _“What can Baobao’s puppy’s baobao’s puppy do… for his baobao to calm down?_**** – Wang Yibo ** ** _”_****

A response came in a few seconds, ****“Baobao’s puppy’s baobao’s puppy’s baobao wants to hear that baobao’s puppy belongs only to baobao**** – Xiao Zhan ** **”****

Yibo giggled noisily. _His_ driver glanced at _him_ through the rearview mirror. The younger man immediately gathered _his_ serious composure and put the phone to _his_ ear. It rang once and then the cute whining from the deep voice could be heard on the line.

“Say that you love me”, Xiao Zhan demanded.

Yibo chuckled softly and pressing _his_ hand to _his_ mouth, he whispered, _“I Love You”_

“Ahhh, that feels good”, the elder smiled back. “Are you returning home?”

_“Yes”_

“It’s good to shoot at a place, not far away from your apartment”

_“Mn… Zhan-ge, what happened?”_

“Oh, it’s nothing… I saw some non-sensical news on Weibo and so I was dramatically jealous over why is my dear puppy being linked up with that gorgeous actress”

****_“My baobao is a prince ascended from heaven. No one can be better looking than you. You are the real-life Wei WuXian. You truly have his beautiful face and brightest smile”_ ** **

****“And Wei Wuxian’s Lan WanJi is the Winner of the Heaven’s beauty contest. He is the most beautiful man just like your baobao’s puppy”** **

They both giggled adorably.

_“Zhan-ge, they are all rumors”_

“I know”

_“Our director was also asking me today about it. I was at first scared… what if they got to know about us”_

“No way… we both are being very careful”

Yibo paused for a few seconds. Not hearing the younger’s voice on the call, Xiao Zhan understood something was bothering _him_ , which was holding _him_ from speaking.

“Bo, share with me”

_“What?”_

“Whatever you are thinking?”

 _“Noth… nothing”_ , Yibo stuttered. _“You go to sleep. Tomorrow you have to wake up early”_

“Tell me”, he insisted.

Yibo thought something for a while. They were in this relationship together. Whatever was there, Xiao Zhan had the right to know everything about it.

_“Ge… Yu Bin will get married next year. He already announced it. Ha Peng got engaged last month. Meng Ziyi is on honeymoon with her husband. Zhao LiYing is pregnant with her second baby. Yang Zi also said that she is dating somebody who is not from this glamor world”_

“Hmm”

_“Why can’t we reveal our relationship? We have been lying to everybody since the day we are together”_

“We are even lying to our parents regularly”

_“Yes… why does it have to be like this, Zhan-ge? I want to tell everyone to stop linking me with strangers. I want to let everyone know that Xiao Zhan is the only one I will love to see my name with”_

“I am sorry”. There was a touch of sadness in the elder’s voice.

_“What are you sorry for… Zhan-ge? I love you, you know that, right? And I know you love me too”_

“Yibo?”, Xiao Zhan’s voice was still tinged with gloom.

_“Zhan-ge”_

****“Will we ever be able to tell anybody that we love each other? Are we committing an unforgivable crime? Why does the world think that a man loving another man is a sin?”** **

Yibo did not know what to say. Both of them kept quiet. Moments flew in between them, as they kept holding onto the phone, listening to the each other’s breathings.

****_“And it’s only because… we… we both are men, right gege? We will be judged based on our genders”_ ** **

****“Does that make us unacceptable, in the eyes of the judgmental society?”** **

There was again a long quietness in between the two of them. Both understood each other’s despair and dilemma. They both knew why were they having to hide their true selves from everybody else.

The elder decided to break the silence.

****“I hate this world, Yibo”** **

****_“And I hate its people, too, Zhan-ge”_ ** **

****__ ** **

A month later

_“Xiao Laoshi”_

“Lao Wang”

_“I miss you”_

“I miss you too”

_“Baobao, I feel like jumping around all the time”_

****“DON’T YOU DARE HURT YOUR FEET AGAIN”.** **

Xiao Zhan’s deafening shout could be heard through the phone. The elder was expecting the other person to yell back at him, as usual, but something really unusual happened today as Yibo chuckled softly at him.

_“Zhan-ge, will you not carry me if I sprain my legs again?”_

Hearing it, how badly Xiao Zhan wanted to take the younger one in his arms and ruffle _his_ hairs! Sadly, they could not. The distance in between them was so large that could be covered fastest only by a three hours flight.

“You want me to come?”, the elder asked.

****A life which had the two of them in the center, was not out of the ordinary. They had been the apple of each other’s eyes from four years before. But a life of them, which had ONLY the two of them, TOGETHER, as its center – well, this was something new, something worth discovering. Their life now had their warm affection, a new feeling which they called Love, it was a beautiful journey that they were walking side by side.** **

****

_“Huh? No, no, no… don’t stress yourself. You already have a tight schedule throughout this month”_

“Yiboooooo”, Xiao Zhan whined.

_“ ** **SHUT**** ****UP**** and spit it”_

“Nothing… How is your work going?”

_“Zhan-ge, I am only shooting the indoor sequences, these days”_

“That’s good. I am glad that your team is considerate enough and not putting much pressure on your recovering foot”

_“My leg is fine. It’s just that the doctor has advised not to run around much”_

“And what were you saying earlier, that you want to jump?”

_“That is because I love you, Zhan-ge”_

Xiao Zhan giggled cutely, “Thank you but I hate you”

_“The old Big Fat Lie of yours”_

They chuckled together.

“Hey, I am curious about the marriage of the female lead. What will happen?”, the elder asked.

_“Oh, I read the script. Well, it will be interrupted, offcourse. The male lead will reach in time and take her away… on a horse”_

“Horse… in a modern drama? My god! Don’t fall down. Be careful while you are riding”

 _“Okay”_ , the younger felt happy seeing the other’s concern for _him_.

Putting a slice of bread into his mouth, Xiao Zhan let out a huge sigh.

 _“Seems like you badly want to see me”,_ Yibo let out a titter in amusement.

“I want to but I hate our works. We are so busy”

_“Endure a little more, gege. Patience is bitter but its fruit is sweet”_

“Patience, my ass. I will take ten days leave, the next time we meet”

 _“But I can’t. I have work to do”_ , there was a hint of teasing in the younger’s voice.

“The next time when I will have you… wait and see what I do”

_“What will you do, ge?”_

“I will kiss you senseless”, the elder let out a suppressed groan.

 _“I can’t wait for that, baobao”_. Xiao Zhan laughed out loud.

Yibo went silent for a while, while flipping through the pages of _his_ script booklet and listening to Xiao Zhan chewing on his food, on the other side of the call.

 _“Are you finished with your breakfast?”_ , the younger one asked.

“Almost”

_“When are you going to get ready for work”_

“What is the time now?”

Yibo glanced at his watch. _“9:20 am”_

“The security team will come to pick me up at 11”

 _“Mn”_. Yibo unmindfully recited a few lines from _his_ upcoming scenes, while Xiao Zhan kept listening to _him_.

_“Done”_. The elder’s beloved finally exclaimed, after a while.

“Do you remember your dialogues?”

_“Yes… I just need to argue and yell at the antagonist, that’s it”_

Xiao Zhan laughed. “I am sure you will do exceptionally well in that”

Yibo frowned and putting down _his_ phone, _he_ requested for a video call.

The elder accepted the call and held his phone in front of him, showing Yibo his breakfast plate.

“ ** **HIIII, YIBO**** … See my bread toast”

****_“MY FOOT… WHAT WERE YOU SAYING? THAT I AM GOOD AT QUARELLING”_ ** **

“See you are arguing with me”

 ** ** _“THAT IS BECAUSE YOU STARTED FIRST”_****. Knitting _his_ eye brows Yibo made a disappointed face.

Xiao Zhan softly smiled. “Okay, I fight with you more than you do. Happy? … Now show me your dress”

 _“Do you like my shirt?”_ , the younger’s eyes glowed with a delighted expression on _his_ face.

“Yes… now keep your phone on the table and move back a little so that I can see you properly”, the elder suggested.

Yibo obeyed as _he_ placed _his_ mobile, leaned against the mirror, on the dressing table and stood up to move two steps behind.

_“Can you see me GG? This is Gucci’s tee shirt”_

“Wow! Darling… you look breath-takingly gorgeous. Blue looks amazing on you”

_“I too love this shirt. It’s fibre is very soft and comfortable. GeGe, get me a few like this. I won’t pay”_

“Me… for free… why me?”

 ** ** _“Because the spokesperson of Gucci is my Lover. If I won’t enjoy these privileges, who else will?”_****. Yibo threw _his_ head back and laughed before adding, ****_“and this is my order”_****

“As you please… your majesty. Your wish is my command”, Xiao Zhan said from the other side of the call, while taking a sip on his glass of milk.

The younger one pulled the chair and once again sat at the table, infront of his mobile which had _his_ most favorite person’s face being displayed right before _his_ eyes.

_“Ahhh… Zhan-ge”_

“What”, Xiao Zhan pouted.

_“Did they invite you to the ‘iQiyi All-Star Carnival Awards’?”_

“When is it?”

_“Probably two or three months later. My manager informed me this morning”_

The elder lightly scratched his chin. _“I don’t know. Probably I will get to know today once I meet my manager, today”_

_“Hmm… do let me know. If you are also invited and you have time to attend, only then will I say yes”_

Xiao Zhan let out a noisy chuckle. “Looking forward to share the same stage with you, if we get a chance”

Yibo did not respond but silently kept looking at his face.

“What are you seeing, Bo?”, the other person asked.

_“Are you wearing a red tee with black prints?”_

Xiao Zhan held his phone a bit farther from his face, so that Yibo could see what he was wearing.

“Yeahh, my normal track pants and a simple shirt. Why?”

 _“Wait a moment?”_ , Yibo left _his_ seat and went sideways.

Some seconds later, _he_ returned with a flower vase in _his_ hand.

“What is this?”, Xiao Zhan asked.

_“This was kept on the bed side table, over there. See here are some beautiful red and white roses”_

“So?”, gulping down the remaining milk from the glass, Xiao Zhan asked.

_“You are wearing a red and black shirt. Perfect combination of colours”_

“So?”

_“So…”_

“So, what, Bo-di?”

Yibo pulled out a white rose from inside the vase and held it in front of the mobile. _“Can you see this?”_

“Yeah… a white rose”

****_“Love has two colours – Black and White. That night I was so flabbergasted that I could not even give you a proper response to your reply to my love proposal”_ ** **

Holding his breath, Xiao Zhan’s was quietly observing the younger person through the screen.

Yibo stretched out _his_ arm, holding the white rose in between _his_ fingers.

****_“Lan Wangji is also accepting Wei WuXian’s love and his Wei Ying’s Lan Zhan is saying ‘Wei Ying… I will love you forever, too’. Black and White are the colours of WangXian. Black and White defines Soulmates and my love for you too, Xiao Zhan”_ ** **

Yibo’s way of talking, smiling, _his_ frankness, _his_ handsome features, beady eyes, chiselled jawline, wavy lips that had just parted to deliver the world’s most beautiful Love Declaration – staring at _him_ , Xiao Zhan fell in love all over again. He flushed faintly and lowered his eyelids as he noticed his lover’s unabashed fond stare at him through the video call.

“What are you saying?”

_“I am saying what I have already said a thousand times… ** **Xiao Zhan, I LOVE YOU**** ”_

Xiao Zhan lifted his gaze up to look lovingly at his beloved, when his eyes widened and his whole body froze, all of a sudden. With a terrified and shocked expression on his face, he was looking straight at Yibo.

The younger one chuckled at him.

_“Did you hear me, Zhan-ge? ** **I Love You. I have always had**** ”_

“WHO DO YOU LOVE, WANG YIBO?”

In a blink of an eye, Yibo turned around towards the source of the loud voice that came from behind _him_.

To be continued…


	28. Bitter Arguments

“WHO DO YOU LOVE, WANG YIBO?”

In a blink of an eye, Yibo turned around towards the source of the loud voice that came from behind _him_.

For a couple of seconds, there was a complete pause. Nobody talked, no body moved. The person on the phone was staring with an anxious expression on his face. A hushed silence prevailed. Seconds later, Yibo collected his mobile from above the dressing table and disconnected the call in a haste.

“That was Xiao Zhan. What were you saying to him?”, Du Hua’s voice sounded unnaturally heavy.

The normally cold, expressionless man got really nervous at the moment and he hurriedly wiped away the single cold sweat streaming down the behind of his ear by the back of his palm.

“Wang Yibo… what did you just say to him?”, Du Hua asked again.

Yibo closed his eyes for a fraction of second, drawing in a deep breath. He knew he needed to stay calm.

_“Nothing, I was just reciting his lines”_

“What lines?”

_“His script lines”_

“What?”

“What what?”. He seemed perfectly composed and it was really hard to know from his face or from the tone of his voice, if he was actually unaware of where their discussion was proceeding or not.

“What lines were you reciting?”

_“Are you an investigating officer?”_

“This is no joke, Wang Yibo. You two were chatting so casually. Why?”

_“This mobile is mine; the sim card is mine. I pay for my monthly talk-time bills. Why can’t I talk to whoever I wish to?”_

“Wang Yibo… this whoever is Xiao Zhan”

_“What difference does that make?”_

“You are to stay away from him. He is supposed to stay away from you, don’t you know?”, Du Hua raised her voice.

Knitting his eyebrows, Yibo crossed his arms, displaying his displeasure.

_“He will be going to work. He was reciting his script. I was helping him revise his lines”_

“Why were you helping him?”, she bawled at him.

_“Don’t you help your friend? I thought that you already know that he is my friend. He has been my friend from four years before”_

“And then… something happened in between the two of you, thank god for that, you both had stopped interacting like two…”

_“Like two… what… gays?”_

Du Hua went silent, unblinkingly staring at the actor’s face.

The atmosphere in the room had tensed up. Yibo’s manager quickly shut the door of his make-up room.

_“What do you think we are?”_ , Yibo asked.

“What I think does not matter. The thing that matters is what people will think about you… Stop interacting with him”

 _“I can’t”_ , he answered straightaway.

“Yibo”

 _“There is no reason for me to tell my friend that I won’t talk with him because I am concerned about this shitty world and its preaching”_. He spoke in a reproachful manner.

“You can disrespect everyone, be rude with the CEO of your agency but you won’t stop talking with him, is that what you mean?”

_“Right… Your being the CEO means your company sponsors me. We do business together. We earn money together. Talking with Xiao Zhan or not is something which is my personal matter and you are not allowed to interfere into my private space”_

Du Hua let out a frustrated groan.

“Xiao Zhan is one person who has gained as many haters as is his number of fans. People always fall more for rumors that concern him. I don’t want the fans to link our celebrity with someone as…”

 _“That someone is this nation’s number 1 public figure”_ , Yibo interrupted her.

“You are defending him”

_“Yes, I am defending my friend”_

The two people kept staring at each other; irritation and discomfort clearly written on one’s face while the other one remained standing with his vacuous looks.

Yibo’s manager interrupted their talks.

“Well… I think Yibo… if he is forcing you into this…”

 _“Have you gone crazy?”_ , Yibo at once snapped at her. _“Why will he force me into anything”_

“Yibo… you are not getting my point. Don’t interact with him. If someone records you saying all these things to a man, it will be a huge threat to your upcoming works and the career”, Du Hua said.

 _“Why are you all panicking over something so frivolous?”_ , Yibo said.

“You call this unimportant? Do you not remember what happened in the past? The fans of you were hell bent on bringing him down; the fans of his were day and night badmouthing you over your age, looks, acting, dancing and everything else. Don’t you know why all these situations arose in the past? It was all because people suspected both of you of dating each other. They had assumed that you two were in a relationship and so they hated you both. Tell me who will like to see Wang Yibo with a man where there are so many gorgeous……”

**_“WILL YOU PLEASE STOP?”_** , Yibo shouted. The other two people, abruptly paused, shocked at the way the young man reacted.

**_“STOP IT, OKAY… JUST STOP… STOP telling me that I should love a girl. STOP telling me that I should get a gorgeous girl for me. I will decide if I want an ugly girl or a pretty one. I will decide whether to love a man or a woman”_ **

****

“Mei Xiu”, Du Hua got hyper and turned to Yibo’s manager. “Please… please just make him understand that being linked with Xiao Zhan whether as a friend or as something else, will only disgrace his image. No one will accept their relation”

Mei Xiu looked at Yibo with pleading eyes. **“Please Wang Yibo, just calm down. You should not argue with her. We are saying all these for your own good. Xiao Zhan’s amity is not right for you. Even if he does something with good intentions, there will still be people who will find flaws in him. You should not let those negativity dawn on your success and life”**

“Yes… exactly”, Du Hua nodded in agreement. **“People have moved on from the untamed. It has been 4 years. Please don’t trigger the emotions of anger of the haters once again. It will cause both of you no good”**

Yibo did not say anything. He still kept glaring at her with increasing displeasure on his straight face.

Du Hua once again tried to explain. **“Yibo… Xiao Zhan has the biggest popularity, I agree. I will never deny that he is well-mannered, talented, with a clean character but his career has so many cracks in them. I know many of them are in the past and people, now, don’t even remember how his name got tangled into rumors. Still, I am advising you not to get yourself involved into his life. We cannot forever keep hiding things from the media. Sooner or later people may find out if you both try to hide something”**

 _“Mn… so you want me to stay away from him because his life has cracks in it?”_ , the young actor finally asked.

“Yes”

He let out a sigh and slowly turned back towards his dressing table, picking up the comb, starting to settle his hairs.

_“Okay… I think my shoot is going to resume. While arguing with you I forgot my script. Leave me alone for some time. I need to revise”_

Du Hua could no longer restrain her patience. Walking upto him, she turned him by his elbow. “Do you understand what I am trying to explain to you?”

Pulling his hand from her grip, he once again focused on combing his hairs. **_“Everything has cracks. That’s how light enters. He has too many cracks. That’s why he glows the brightest. I am proud of him”_**

“Yibo”

**_“I will never be able to explain to you that fans, shippers, movie ratings, careers, you, your agency… nothing matters to me. I cannot and will not give up on him, fearing that people, who I don’t even know, will refuse to acknowledge my feelings”_ **

He stepped back to sit down on the chair, concentrating on flipping through the pages of his script once again.

His manager walked upto him.

“Yibo…”, she tried to initiate a conversation.

 ** _“I won’t leave him”_** , he replied coldly.

“Yibo… no, actually I want to…”

Yibo lifted his face up. _“What? … Want to know why I won’t leave him?”_

“Because you love him, isn’t it? You both have been fooling around, telling lies all these whiles, am I wrong?”, Do Hua’s voice was barely a whisper as she gritted her teeth.

Yibo turned to shift his focus on her. **_“What if I say Yes? What if I admit to the fact that I do? I love him”_**

****

Anger poured through her. Her rage thrummed through her veins, yet she remained quiet waiting for the other person to continue.

**_“What will you do Mrs. Du Hua… you will ruin me? Just like you had ruined the careers of several people in the past who got in the way of your success. You are threatening me of wrecking my image in the industry? Go ahead. I am least bothered. I will leave these on my own, if I am required to but I won’t leave Xiao Zhan. Even if people spot us together somewhere, the media gets to know, people bashes us – even then I will not leave him, never again”_ **

****

A long silence prevailed in the room. Du Hua quietly stepped back and nodded.

“So, you are not afraid of being ruined? Okay. I will give you some more time to think about it and within that time I expect you to stay away from that person. He may not be a threat to you but for me…”, she paused for a few seconds, narrowing his gaze at Yibo. “well then… revise your scripts. See you later”

Du Hua approached the door. Yibo’s manager called him from behind. “The new offer that you came to talk about…”

She paused at the door step. “We will talk about it, when he will be in his right mood”

“Shall I tell them to give us some more time?”

“Yes”, and with that the CEO left the room.

Mei Xiu turned towards him. “Yibo”

_“……”_

“Did you really lie?”

Yibo did not respond.

“Yibo… you know I care about you. I genuinely do. We are related by work still I have been with you ever since you turned 20. Tell me the truth. Have you really been lying all this while?”

The stoic expressions of the young actor softened a bit. _“Mn”_

“What? … is it true that you…”

_“I do”_

“But you did previously too, isn’t it? I saw both of you from the closest. He never reciprocated, did he? Why are you putting your career on risk for him?”

 _“I don’t want a career, jie. I want him”_ , Yibo honestly admitted with a gloomy look on his face

“Yibo…”, she gently held his wrist. Yibo did not object as she continued, “I am 15 years older to you. I am more experienced than you are, do you believe that?”

Yibo nodded.

**“I am not your enemy, my dear. I am really giving you an honest advice. Its not easy. It won’t be easy to let go of this fame. This stardom is what the celebrities live for. It sounds easy to give up on everything, but sinking to the bottom is tough. Rather, it’s the toughest. You won’t be able to live without the cameras and your work and this popularity”**

_“I won’t be able to live without him too”_

“But he does not love you, does he?”

Yibo slowly nodded and let out a sigh. _“If he had not… if he tells me even now that he wants to go… I will let him go. I love him to my death. I can do anything for him but… but… I know that he will never ask me to set him free. So, I cannot leave him”_

Yibo’s phone vibrated for the umpteenth time. He had been ignoring the incoming calls and messages all these whiles. But now he finally lifted the mobile in his hand to look the screen.

13 missed calls from Xiao Zhan and 5 new messages from the same.

He held the phone in front of Mei Xiu’s face so that she could get a clear view of the screen.

_“See… How can I even think about leaving him?”_

She was too surprised and stayed silent for some moments before asking, “Do you two meet often?”

_“When we have less work pressure, we meet often. When we are busy, we get to meet just twice or thrice a month”_

“Yibo…”

_“Mn”_

“You two are… not just friends, are you sure about it? I mean it can be… you know… extreme adoration and respect for one’s friend that made him into believing…”

 ** _“We don’t see each other as friends do”_** , Yibo cut her words. **_“My soul meets his soul on my lover’s lips. He is that lover for me. Each time we kiss, we promise to spend a life of eternal bliss together and we don’t need any more adjective to justify our relationship. All words henceforth become superfluous”_**

****

Mei Xiu stood there speechless for many moments. Yibo too kept quiet.

She let a small laugh after a while. “You have learnt to speak a lot”

_“Because he is an idiot. When his brain stops working, I am required to speak and put sense into him”_

The kind lady smiled some more at him, as she tightened her hold on the actor’s wrist.

“Take care, then”

_“I will”_

“Of you too”

 _“He will do that for me”_ , Yibo smilingly replied.

“Hmm, okay… c’mon, the team must be waiting”

Yibo pointed at his phone. _“I need to…”_

“Okay 10 minutes… let the others wait”

“Thank you”, he said and she exited the room.

Yibo’s phone vibrated again. _He_ looked at the screen that was displaying Xiao Zhan’s number. _He_ pressed _his_ phone to _his_ ear.

_“Don’t worry. I am okay. I will call you later, alright?”_

“Yibo…”, the voice on the other side sounded sad.

 _“Mn. I am fine, love”_ , Yibo said.

“Are they gone now?”

_“Mn”_

“I was guessing that they might be talking with you and it’s a bad time to call yet I could not hold myself back and I really was so scar…”. Xiao Zhan’s voice sounded very anxious.

 _“Baobao”_ , Yibo called.

“What?”

_“Don’t be tensed. Why are you nervous? It’s okay… nothing happened”_

“Nothing happened? Didn’t they ask you about us?”

_“They did. I said that we were revising your movie’s love confession script”_

“Really? And they believed?”, Xiao Zhan innocently asked.

_“You think I am not a convincing actor”_

**“SHUT UP”**

**_“YOU SHUT UP”_ **

They both giggled cutely.

“Yibo… I love you. Say that you love me too”

The younger one stayed silent for a moment. A lone tear, unknowingly, rolled down _his_ cheek. _“Offcourse I love you too. What’s new in that”_

He could hear the elder’s soundless satisfactory breath on the line.

“Yibo”

_“Mn”_

“My good boy, my sweetheart, please listen to your gege this once, will you?”

_“Anything for my dear idiot. Say it”_

**“You too don’t take stress. If they get suspicious in future and ask you about us, about the relation in between us… the kind of question you won’t be able to avoid, then tell them I forced you into this friendship, okay? Put the blame on me. We will later figure out what to do. But you are, at any cost, not supposed to get into any argument with your agency, is that clear?”**

Yibo did not know what to say. The frustration that _he_ was holding into _him_ , some time ago in front of Du Hua, for so long came now at its edge, ready to break open.

 _“Have you too lost it?”_ , clenching _his_ fist, _he_ muttered.

“Yibo… see…”

 _“Stop lecturing me when I am not in a mood to listen to your shitty talks”,_ holding _his_ breath, Yibo suddenly squawked at Xiao Zhan.

The elder person was shocked at the way his beloved just yelled.

“Yibo”

 _“Zhan-ge”_ , Yibo pronounced his name, loud and clear. _“I won’t let you down. If you are to face the wraths, I too will face them along with you. Stop telling me something that I can’t do”_

“But Yibo, your agency, your career”

The irritation slowly crept up the younger’s spine. Was it possible to keep calm while putting his patience on the line?

_“What career? You again started with the issues regarding careers? What shall I do then? What are we supposed to do? Stop talking? Is that what you are trying to explain?”_

“Why are you shouting?”

_“You want me to calm down and agree to your bloody pulpitry?”_

“Yibo… Bo… Why are you losing your temper, honey? I am talking about the future. If such situation arises in future then we shall…”

**_“We shall what? Give up on each other? Then why are we even waiting for the future? If you don’t want me anymore then say it, I will never again try to talk to you”_ **

“Yibo… No… baby, I…”

The call got disconnected.

One of them sat down on _his_ chair and placing _his_ head on the dressing table, he broke out into loud sobs, ruining the makeup over his face. The other one had to go, take a shower and get ready for work, but he was too startled and felt tormented to do anything.

He pressed redial option on his mobile and tried reaching his beloved again and again. His calls went unanswered.

The first grave argument in between them and it felt so bitter. It was not like a minor wound. It was like a split in the skin that was making the whole arm throb unpleasantly.

To be continued…


	29. Mending Fences

Yibo was sitting expressionless on the backseat of his car, his arms firmly crossed, looking outside the window at the silhouette of the tall buildings standing against the black night sky. The moon was shining bright that night, yet his mind was overshadowed by profound sadness.

No, it did not help. He was wanting to check his mobile once again. This time would be the last and if his certain someone, who he was expecting, had not called or messaged then he would no more wait for him. That is final.

His hands untangled and shoved inside his pocket to bring out his mobile. He unlocked his screen and to his utter disappointment, there were only notifications of newly arrived emails from his manager and endorsements.

His face fell. Xiao Zhan had not called yet.

What was his dearest treasure thinking? That he was happy and relaxed.

Even the thought that his beloved and he had fought with each other, gave him a jabbing painful sensation across his chest. Since the day before yesterday, he was robbed off his mood to do anything. Each moment he wanted to leave everything and just run away.

But, offcourse as usual, he could not do what he wished to. Yibo had to stay at the sets and shoot, till the last bit of energy in him was drained out.

Yesterday and today, he had to work till late night because his shots were being taken repeatedly. None was coming out perfect. The director was not satisfied. He was not satisfied. He was not even in his mood to stand in the artificial rain and kiss the heroine. But he still had to. That was his god damn profession.

It was not like they had not talked for two whole days but everytime they did, they had only argued, rather Yibo had just feuded with him. He was so disturbed; he was so restless and his Zhan-ge did not even understand that all that he wanted to do was flee from there and go and hug his beloved and never return to the place where everybody was hell bent on pressurizing him about society’s acceptance and all the rubbish norms that he was least bothered about.

Every time… every single time whenever Xiao Zhan and he had a talk over the matter, all that they did was disagreeing with each other.

Xiao Zhan was explaining to him why he should go and apologize to Du Hua and not put his fame at risk, especially at a time when he was at the peak of his career and all that Yibo could think of, as a reply, to all of those explanations was that he did not care.

Xiao Zhan had immense patience in him. He hardly got angry even at those people who did to him nothing but injustice. He was in the habit of saying that **‘This is Life, learn from it and improve yourself’**.

Yibo was not like that. He would fail, he would stand up again and try harder but everything would be at his own will. He would not stand anybody’s dictatorship in his life.

It was not unusual for them to argue and fight, though, but this time it was serious. Yibo knew he did wrong. He hated himself for saying those biting words to Xiao Zhan. The elder one was only trying to calm him down and Yibo had yelled at him saying that **_‘If you are wanting to lecture me about career and agencies and netizens, every time we talk, then I am not the one, who you are expecting, to give into all these mind games. If you want to brain wash someone, go and get yourself a bloody bitch and don’t call me’_**

Yibo could swear that he had said all of them only out of rage and immediately after letting out those words, he had regretted. Xiao Zhan’s instant long silence on the call had scared the hell out of him.

It was not often that Xiao Zhan got seriously angry with Yibo and so, this time, the younger person had his hammering heart in his mouth at his beloved’s coldness towards him. Since yesterday afternoon, it had been more than 30 hours and Xiao Zhan had not talked to him, yet.

The big fat ego in between them forbade the younger one to call him back. He was also terrified witless about what was going to come for him, next. Despite that, he had gathered much courage and had sent an SMS to the other person this afternoon. **_‘Call me, when you are free’_**

The blue ticks indicated the receiver of his message had read his text but neither did he reply, nor did he try to contact him by any other means.

Yibo was irritated. Yibo was sad. His day was empty. His night was long. He wanted Xiao Zhan, right now, in between his arms, that’s it.

The doorbell rang thrice in a row, then three seconds of pause, followed by another two rings. Xiao Zhan put his coffee mug and script booklet down on the side tea-table and turned to look at the wall clock.

7:42 am.

Three door bells, a pause, then two? How could anyone know their code? And there was no way Yibo could be here early morning. Last night he had been shooting till 2 am. Xiao Zhan might not be talking with his person but he was naturally aware of the younger one’s schedule more than his own.

Furrowing his eyebrows, he got up from the sofa and with hesitation, walked towards the exit. He held his ear to the door and stood quiet. In a state of zeal, he forgot there was a peephole, that allowed him to look from the inside to the outside.

When no noise came, Xiao Zhan held the knob and turned it slowly. The door flung open and, in a moment, he realized he was being pushed backwards by a strong current. The face of the intruder instantly got out of his sight, before he could take a proper look, as he was being wrapped up in those familiar strong arms and all that he felt was being dragged, faster and faster, with no chance to stabilize his body balance on his own feet, until his back hit the couch and he sat down on it with the other person adjusting himself on his lap, without breaking the hug.

**_“ZHAN-GE”_** , the source of the ear-piercing scream was just by the side of his ear.

 **“SHUT THE DOOR…… QUICK”**. Xiao Zhan shouted back and stretched out his hands to encircle the other person’s waist, acting out of reflex.

**_“WHYARE YOU SO PANIC STRIKEN?”_ **

**“DON’T SHOUT… THIS IS A HOTEL. CLOSE THE FUCKING DOOR, FIRST”**

**_“YOU ARE ALSO YELLING AT THE TOP OF YOUR VOICE”_** , the younger one screamed.

**“MY EARDRUM, RIGHT NOW, LOST IT’S HEARING ABILITY”**

**_“DON’T SHRIEK”_ **

**“YOU DON’T SCREAK”**

**_“XIAO ZHAN”_ **

**“WANG YIBO”**

**_“SAY THAT YOU ARE NOT ANGRY WITH ME”_ **

**“I WON’T”**

**_“THEN SAY THAT YOU LOVE ME”_ **

**“I WON’T”**

**_“DON’T BE STUBBORN”_ **

**“CLIMB OFF MY LAP FIRST”**

**_“NO”_ **

**“YIBO MOVE”**

**_“I AM HERE FOR YOU”_ **

****

Xiao Zhan sighed and lowered his voice, “So? Who asked you to come? You can go now, if you wish to"

Yibo was sitting on the other’s lap with both _his_ legs around the elder’s waist, their chins tucked on each other’s shoulders.

_“Don’t ask me to go away”_

“Get off me, first”

_“I am sorry, Ge”_

“Just get off”

_“I love you, Ge”_

“Let me stand, Wang Yibo”

_“No”_

“Move”, the elder tried pushing the other person away. Yibo tightened _his_ hold onto him.

_“No, why did you call me ‘Wang Yibo’? First call me ‘Bo’”_

“You are a shit. Do you know that?”. Xiao Zhan got up from the couch, holding Yibo against him and walked towards the door, shutting it closed.

_“And I am tired too, Zhan-ge. I did not get to sleep the whole night. Now I want to sleep”_

“You came here to sleep?”. Xiao Zhan tried to put _him_ down on _his_ feet. The younger refused. **_“NOOO”_**

“Ahhh… stop shouting beside my ear”

_“Stay like this”_

**“Stupid koala bear”**. Xiao Zhan said and brought Yibo towards the sofa, making _him_ lie down on _his_ back. Yibo unwrapped _his_ arms from around the elder’s neck, allowing him to pull away.

Xiao Zhan extended his hand and removed the face mask, shades and cap off the younger’s head.

“Why did you barge in here into my hotel room with no prior notice”

Yibo laughed out loud. _“Zhan-ge, are you surprised?”_

“I was going to be very surprised but the way you screamed beside my ear, my astonishment vanished into thin air and now I am fed up”

Yibo giggled and sat up to hug Xiao Zhan once again, fitting _his_ head in the nape of other’s neck.

Xiao Zhan did not hug _him_ back. Instead he tried pushing the younger one away.

 _“I fought with you, over something so silly and I said those harsh words. It had made me upset, too. I badly wanted to see you”_ , Yibo said, refusing to break the hug.

“I am not angry”, Xiao Zhan answered coldly and forcefully broke the embrace to get up from the seat.

A minute later he brought over a cold-water bottle for Yibo.

 _“Thank you”_ , the younger drank from it. Xiao Zhan took the bottle, tightened its cap and was about to walk away when Yibo pulled him by the sleeves of his shirt and forcefully made him sit next to _him_ , again.

The elder person did not even turn towards _him_. He simply looked away.

_“Gege I am sorry”_

“Did I say I am angry?”, Xiao Zhan’s face lacked expression. He held his mobile in his hand and started scrolling through the messages of a random chat group, completely ignoring Yibo’s presence beside him.

 _“Ge, don’t be like this. Everybody is day and night pesteri…”_ , _he_ stopped abruptly, immediately changing their topic. _“I mean… everybody is giving a lot of pressure regarding work and I feel…”_

“Who is pestering you? Du Hua?”, Xiao Zhan asked.

_“No… no… Nobody. That was a slip of tongue”_

“Hmm”. Xiao Zhan did not stretch the topic further.

Without speaking another word, Yibo put _his_ arm around the other person’s shoulder, holding him close and tucked himself tight into him and said, _“I don’t understand why can’t there be two equally popular public figures in our nation. I don’t understand why does both of our agencies always aiming at over-smarting each other. I don’t understand why am I always asked to stay away from you. We have been together for just a few months and I don’t understand why is there so much hatred, already, among everybody for us. I don’t understand why are you, too, refusing to understand me”_

“Because you are keeping your eyes closed. Instead of sorting things out, you are being aggressive and arguing with people, who you are supposed to maintain a healthy work relationship with”, the elder slowly responded.

_“I don’t like them”_

“You still need to put up with them. Du Hua is a venomous woman. Don’t challenge her”

_“These morons have no good work to do, other than stalking us insanely”_

“Yibo, I have handled such pressure, before. I don’t want you to tangle yourself into any such thing that I have previously faced. It really brings down one’s own confidence within himself. How will you work with those people if you let them misunderstand you?”

_“ **ZHAN-GE** , you again started”_, Losing _his_ patience, Yibo snapped.

“You won’t even try to listen to me?”

_“You want me to stay away? Good. I will go”_

“Okay, go. Catch the next flight and go back. Don’t come to me ever again”, Xiao Zhan left his seat and went inside.

Sitting over there, Yibo kept staring at Xiao Zhan’s retreating back. _His_ eyes welled up with tears. If _he_ had been somewhere else, _he_ would have controlled his emotions, but right at that moment _he_ could not hold back and let the streams of water course down _his_ cheeks. Covering _his_ face with _his_ palms, _he_ sobbed.

 _He_ was feeling absolutely pathetic. Why did _his_ Zhan-ge have to be so rude with _him_? _His_ beloved had asked _him_ to go away and did not even bother to turn back, even once. _His_ sobs wracked _his_ body, barely allowing _him_ to draw in a breath.

A while later, _he_ dashed the tears from _his_ eyes with the edge of Xiao Zhan’s muffler, that was lying on the tea-table beside the sofa. Out of the blue, a bunch of clothes were thrown at _his_ direction, from behind. Yibo turned back.

“If you are done crying, go and take a shower. I am ordering your food”. Saying so, the other person walked away. Yibo looked at the pair of track pants, and a shirt, lying on _his_ lap.

 _He_ quietly gathered the clothes and headed towards the bathroom.

“The red shampoo bottle is empty. Take the blue one”, Xiao Zhan shouted addressing _him_ , hoping that Yibo heard him.

 _“My phone is running out of battery. Plug the charger into it”_ , came the reply in a slow voice.

Xiao Zhan exhaled a deep sigh.

This relationship with Yibo had made him realize Love to be the inexpressible comfort of feeling content from the bottom of his heart because he neither had to weigh his thoughts nor measure his words. He could be angry, sad, happy – let any emotion of his, flow unrestrained, yet his person would stay by his side, without questioning him.

He knew that it was going to be tough for them. It was going to be really hard. But he wanted to fight all wars because he wanted Yibo - Forever. His way of protesting against wrong while maintaining a balanced relationship with others might be different from that of Yibo’s but there was one thing common in between them. They wanted to stay together.

His dearest friend had bewitched him, his body and soul and Xiao Zhan never wished to be parted from _him_ , not in this lifetime.

Finishing their food silently, Xiao Zhan collected the dishes and put them aside on the table. He, then, came to sit down on the couch, turning on the TV. A minute later, Yibo too came by and gingerly settled himself beside him.

_“Zhan-ge”_ , the younger one tugged at his shirt.

He did not respond.

_“Zhan-ge, gege, ge”_

Xiao Zhan was still not looking up at _him_.

Yibo nestled closer to him and rubbed _his_ nose against the other’s arms, dropping _his_ head on Xiao Zhan’s shoulder.

_“Why is this government not legalizing homosexuality?”_

“It never will”

_“One day, it will… mark my words”_

The elder went silent for a long while, gathering his lost thoughts. Yibo tried having his attention once again. _He_ lifted _his_ head up and placed _his_ chin on _his_ beloved’s shoulder.

_“GeGe, will you not talk to me?”_

“No”, Xiao Zhan glanced at the person beside him.

_“Why?”_

“Because you hide things from me”

_“When did I do?”_

“A while ago you did. You refused to tell me who is pressurizing you”

Yibo looked crestfallen at the sudden accusation. _His_ lips quivered and eyes welled up, as _he_ moved away from the elder one, towards the other end of the couch.

_“Okay, I am bad. I hide things from you. I don’t listen to you. I lose my temper. I am unbearable. Is that it? Okay… I will go from here. You don’t have to put up with me any longer. You must have work to do. I better leave. I don’t need you. I should not have come here, in the first place”_

Big drops of tears spilled down _his_ cheeks and _his_ voice choked in an attempt to swallow the lump formed in _his_ throat.

Xiao Zhan’s went wide-eyed at the sight of the teary and despondent mess in front of him. His heart shattered at the vision of his dearest person sitting with a doleful look on _his_ face.

In a blink of a moment he narrowed the distance between them as he shifted closer to Yibo, collecting _him_ into his arms.

“Oh, my boy… my love… darling… what are you crying, sweetheart? Can’t I be angry with you for a while?”

He rocked back and forth with Yibo in his embrace. The other person instantly went silent as _he_ nuzzled _his_ wet face against the nape of the elder’s neck.

“When did I say that I don’t want to put up with you? You are the only man in my life. When did I say that you are unbearable? Instead, you are my most cherished person”

_“I am sorry”_. Yibo said

“I will not say anything to you, okay”. Xiao Zhan tilted his head and planted a peck on his dearest’s brow. “My dear… my honey. You know, gege loves you, right? Then why do you have to be so downhearted? Even if we fight… does that mean I have stopped loving you? Why are you so scared?”

The person referred to, obediently, stayed in the hug and remained silent as if enjoying the feel of the hug around _him_.

“What happened? Say something”

 _“You scolded me”_. With a sadly forlorn look in _his_ eyes Yibo pouted.

“Scold? … I scolded you?”

_“Mn”_

“You deserve that”, Xiao Zhan teasingly replied, struggling not to laugh.

To be continued…


	30. You & Me became "WE"

"What happened? Say something"

 _"You scolded me"_ , With a sadly forlorn look in _his_ eyes Yibo pouted.

"Scold? ... I scolded you?"

"Mn"

"You deserve that",Xiao Zhan teasingly replied, struggling not to laugh.

_"Why?"_

"Because you can't control your temper and spout non-sense", he pinched _his_ cheek.

 _"Zhan-ge"_ , making _his_ best sad puppy eyes, Yibo puled.

"Don't look at me like a mewling baby. This does not justify your earlier behaviour"

_"But I said I love you after that. You did not"_

"Does that matter to you?"

Yibo nodded innocently at _his_ beloved.

Snuggling closer, Xiao Zhan let out a contented sigh and putting the younger's face in between his palms, he gave _him_ a full soft kiss on his lips. **"If my giving a verbal declaration assures you that I love you then yes I do. I love you"**.

Yibo was really surprised at the sudden warmth of the other's lips that _he_ unexpectedly received. He laughed and holding _his_ beloved closer, _he_ brought _his_ face beside the elder's ear and whispered into it. _"I love you too"_

Xiao Zhan pulled away a little to look into the depth of Yibo's bright almond eyes. Slowly his hand reached up to touch his treasured person's face. He traced _his_ jaw, _his_ chin. His fingers wandered upto _his_ lips.  
  


"You should not be here, Yibo", Xiao Zhan slowly whispered.

 _"I know"_ , Yibo whispered back.

"Still you came"

 _"I can't help it"_. _He_ leaned against _his_ beloved for warmth. _"Every part of my body craves yours, Zhan-ge"_

A few seconds of pause followed.

"Then you have me, Bo... all by yourself", came the determined response, in a mumble.

Yibo closed _his_ eyes and searched for something within himself. The corner of _his_ lips rose up a little and his eyelids fluttered open. Cradling Xiao Zhan's face in _his_ hands, _he_ caressed his cheek, lovingly. _"Don't say such intense words. It tangles my mind up with yearnings"_  
  


Holding Yibo's chin, the other person looked at _his_ serene face that was hiding _his_ longings.

"What does this messy mind of yours desires?"

Yibo buried _his_ face into Xiao Zhan's neck. _"I have a list of urges"_

"Will I able to fulfil them?"

_"Mn... only you can"_

"Then tell me"  
  


Nuzzling _his_ nose against _his_ beloved's cheek, Yibo whispered softly. _"My hairs crave your touch"_

Without another thought, Xiao Zhan, comfortingly, ran his fingers through the other's hairs, down _his_ neck, a few times. Yibo drew in a deep breath.

_"My ears crave your voice"_

Xiao Zhan leaned his face towards his lover's ears and whispered words of fondness, adoration and love in each one of them and slowly pulled away, not before brushing his lips against his dearest's earlobes.

Yibo giggled softly at the tickling sensation. Xiao Zhan's eyes sparkled and he rested his forehead against the other's, their noses touched.

Yibo encircled _his_ arms around the elder's neck. _"My hands crave your skin. What shall I do about it?"_  
  


Xiao Zhan silently stared at _him_ for a while, before unwrapping one of Yibo's arms from around him. He held _his_ palm and dropped a kiss on its smooth centre before bringing _his_ fingers on his chest, directing them towards the buttons of his shirt.

Yibo, instantly, clutched onto it tightly. Xiao Zhan left Yibo's hand there and brought his own to lay it against his lover's cheek.

Yibo felt _his_ beloved's touch to be soft but firm. Xiao Zhan stroked _his_ cheek with his knuckles. Yibo did not close _his_ eyes. _He_ must keep this moment in his memory forever. Xiao Zhan leaned across _him_. His head bent down to Yibo's. His lover too lifted _his_ face up. Their mouths rested against each other's. Xiao Zhan's lips were smooth, perfect and Yibo's tongue slowly trailed its wavy outline.

Xiao Zhan held the sides of _his_ waist and pulled _him_ across his lap, their mouths never parting from each other. At that instant _he_ felt the safest, being held by _his_ precious person, the place where _he_ had long wished to hide himself forever, away from the commotion of the worldly crowd.

Breaking their kiss, Yibo rested _his_ head on Xiao Zhan's shoulder. _He_ felt tired... too much exhausted from being pressurized and pestered by everyone else around _him_. _He_ wanted some peace of mind and only this person in _his_ arms was able to pull _him_ back from _his_ anxious thoughts. Only _his_ Zhan-ge was able to provide _him_ the calmness that _his_ spirit was searching for. Only _his_ beloved had the ability to love _him_ the way _he_ wished to be loved right in that moment.

Xiao Zhan put his hands on both of Yibo's thighs and settled _him_ in a way that _his_ legs girdled the his own waist, locking himself up against the Yibo's body.  
  


Yibo's fingers nervously loitered around the first button of _his_ beloved's shirt for some seconds before the poor thing was parted from its paired hole. _His_ hands travelled down, one by one freeing each button from the tight grips of their matching joints.

 _His_ hand slowly slid inside Xiao Zhan's partly opened shirt and rested on the smooth skin of his chest. Yibo stroked the region, pressing _his_ fingers into his muscles, trying to remember the touch of every inch of the other's skin against the front and back of _his_ palm.

 _His_ free hand quickly held the side of Xiao Zhan's face and reconnected their mouths, takinghislower lip and nipping at it very gently but with a firm insistent pressure. Seconds later, Yibo pulled away.  
  


"The way you cried and complained, I thought you might be upset with me for being rude with you", Xiao Zhan said in between silent pants.

_"I was and so I decided to give you an opportunity to compensate our harshness"_

They, together, let out a soft chuckle.  
  


Xiao Zhan's hands skimmed Yibo's body as he slipped them under _his_ shirt. They moved over _his_ back, up and down, a few times, from _his_ shoulder to his waist and back to _his_ shoulder, until they finally came to rest on _his_ hip. He gathered his lover closer and his tongue once again lounged on Yibo's lips for a while before sliding along _his_ cheekbone. Yibo's face gradually started tilting as Xiao Zhan's tongue reached along _his_ neck, playing with the lobe of _his_ ear, taking it in between his teeth, sucking at it; then travelling to the hollow of _his_ ear, lingering there, then moving back across _his_ cheek, towards _his_ mouth; Yibo's lips that were parted now, welcomed _his_ beloved's tongue, letting _his_ own play over it.

 **"Tell me to stop now, Bo-di, if you are not ready. I may start wanting you in ways that will leave behind trails of destruction in both of us"** , Xiao Zhan growled.

Yibo's hands rested on the other's arms and _he_ began sliding his shirt off his shoulders, while whispering beside his ear. _**"Then destroy me. Play havoc with my whole existence and if I am shattered, keep each piece of my being with you"**_

Xiao Zhan stared hard and intensely into _his_ eyes. Yibo noticed his face beaming with desires. _He_ was too thrilled by the sight in front of _him_ and realized how impossible it was for _him_ to look away. _He_ leaned forward and pressed _his_ lips on Xiao Zhans' forehead. The elder's eyes glowed in excitement. Yibo felt every nerve cell in _his_ body beginning to quiver as _he_ felt more alive and real.  
  


Xiao Zhan's shirt finally came off and he let out a sigh... a deep shuddering sigh. Yibo bent _his_ head and _his_ lips touched the naked flesh of his beloved's shoulder. Their pulses rose higher together. Yibo's mouth trailed the region around, exploring the other's neck, kissing him all the way to the base of his throat. He then gradually lifted _his_ head up and sucked gently on _his_ beloved's Adam's apple, arousing every carnal desire within the elder one.

Xiao Zhan unclasped his hands from behind Yibo's back and placed them on the other's chest, slowly and nervously unbuttoning _his_ shirt too. In a few seconds, it was taken away and piled on top of his own that was now lying on the tea table beside the sofa.  
  


Grabbing Yibo's shoulders, Xiao Zhan pushed _him_ , making _him_ lie on his back. He settled himself properly on top of Yibo's chest and once againhis mouth fastened upon his lover's. Yibo hugged him tight, their chests against each other, rising and falling together.

Yibo's hands moved across his bare back to his bottom, helping him relax and go slow. Xiao Zhan realized how much had he longed for Yibo's fingertips grazing against his skin.

With a low moan, he released the younger's lips and holding _him_ tight by _his_ waist, he adjusted Yibo's legs around his hip, setting his own body in between them.

He slowly got up to sit on the couch, keeping his lover caged in his delicious prison. Yibo felt passion embracing _him_ as _his_ beloved softly planted a peck on _his_ nose-tip, that _he_ immediately returned by locking their lips once again, kissing him wickedly, chuckling into his mouth. Xiao Zhan's chest swelled with fondness. A minute later, they broke away, breathless, looking at each other for the eternity of seconds.   
  


Yibo pushed him back, making him lie on his back towards the other end of the couch and settled himself over him. Xiao Zhan's hands travelled down as his fingers reached out to pull down Yibo's pant zipper .

Yibo looked down at _his_ stomach and quickly caught Xiao Zhan by his wrist.

_"Zhan-ge... are we..."_

Xiao Zhan's fingers paused its motions and looking at Yibo into _his_ eyes, he smiled. "It's okay if you are not..."

 _"No..."_ , Yibo interrupted him. _"No... no... you are allowed to have me however you want"_  
  


Catching his lover's arm, Xiao Zhan got up to sit on the couch again, with Yibo on his lap. He buried his face into the other's neck, kissing _him_ there, breathing _him_ in. Running his fingers over the abs on _his_ abdomen, Xiao Zhan's hands shifted to the edges of Yibo's waistband. Inserting his thumbs into the brim of _his_ pants on both sides below _his_ waist, Xiao Zhan pulled it away in one swift motion, down half the length of _his_ thighs. Yibo's eyes opened wide at the sudden change of mood, the urgency and the hardness of his beloved's touch. _His_ breath jagged and movement froze and _he_ stayed quiet in Xiao Zhan's vice-like embrace.

The elder's eyes roamed all over _his_ body, taking in every dip and curve of his lover's chest and muscles on _his_ abdomen.

Nothing had made Yibo feel more naked than now when _his_ cherished person was reading _him_ like an open book, identifying each of _his_ deepest desires that _he_ never knew _he_ possessed. The lines in the book, for Xiao Zhan, were written in a language that none but him could interpret. Every inch of his lover contained a thousand pages, those that were kept before him to discover. Whatever secret Yibo had been keeping in _him_ forever, each one of them was now revealed.  
  


"Relax... relax, okay... relax. It's me". Xiao Zhan said and leaned forwards to reach _his_ throat, leaving an open-mouthed kiss over _his_ Adam's apple, feeling _him_ swallow, as one of Yibo's hands rested on his shoulder to cup his neck, keeping his mouth pressed against _his_ skin.

Yibo felt his beloved smiling against _his_ throat and _he_ hurriedly let go of _his_ neck, embarrassed. Xiao Zhan kissed _him_ one more time on _his_ throat before pulling away to look at _him_.

"Hey"

_"Mn"_

Yibo immediately responded as his gaze met Xiao Zhan's and _his_ hand moved up to glide _his_ fingers through _his_ beloved's hairs. No sooner was _he_ distracted than in the next moment _he_ felt being pushed away as Xiao Zhan quickly made _him_ climb down his lap and took _his_ pant, completely, off _his_ legs.

Yibo was surprised at first and then he giggled soundly. Xiao Zhan raised his brow and crawled upto _him_. He hugged Yibo's unclothed body, in a state of nature, tight in his embrace.

"What are you so amused for?"

_"Are you playing with me?"_

Xiao Zhan lovingly caressed _his_ naked back and kissed _his_ shoulder. "Who else shall I play with? My favourite toy doesn't even resist me"

Yibo hugged him back. _"I don't know how to do that... how to push you away"_.   
  


Moving _his_ arms below, they reached the brim of Xiao Zhan's trousers and _he_ carefully pulled it down _his_ beloved's hips. In a few seconds, the last little boundary in between them fell apart, allowing them to become equal as the two undressed figures remained clamped against each other, invading into each other's territories where none of the two had ever let anyone else set their feet into.

Leaving behind every trail of embarrassment, shyness, argument, jealousy, fight and all other negative emotions, they breathed in each other's scents and slowly pulled away from the hug to press their foreheads against each other, looking deep into their lovers' eyes, as they together fell back into the couch.  
  


Yibo's gaze rested on _his_ beloved, who was looking at _him_ lovingly, eyes filled with adoration, heart full of devotion. Xiao Zhan craved to touch that ethereal creation of Almighty, lying beneath him. He lifted his fingers and started to touch the fragile living art, gently, fearing that his dearest person would not be able to bear any harshness from his side. His eyes moved down to savour the sight of the perfect creation of a human being. The purity of the shining, flawless skin was such, Xiao Zhan felt that the moment became unforgettable as that was exactly when he was starting to fall in love all over again. His hand roamed around the muscles on Yibo's chest and it trailed down to _his_ perfect abs, tracing its curves slowly with his fingertips before bending down and dropping moist pecks all over _him_.   
  


This touch of care, this warmth of love... Yibo felt that _he_ could search for eternity and yet _he_ would never find another man like _his_ Zhan-ge. _He_ was experiencing this new sensation in _him_... the feeling of _his_ core being set to fire and _his_ whole existence was melting into a puddle under _his_ beloved's touch. Xiao Zhan's tongue was, tenderly but teasingly, traversing every curve of _him_. It felt like heroin in _his_ veins and _he_ was a grateful addict.

Yibo turned into that wet soil which was being casted by Xiao Zhan with delicate details, shaping _him_ up into a new sculpture which could never be reversed back to its original form, ever again. With every kiss that was planted on each inch of _his_ skin, Yibo's soul burnt with desires. The need to possess and be possessed was overwhelming.

Wang Yibo could never be the same again, not after this day - neither in this life, nor in many more lives those that were yet to come.  
  


Stretching out _his_ hands to cup Xiao Zhan's face that hovered over _his_ abdomen. Yibo brought him up to connect their lips for a long and hard kiss. When they parted for oxygen, _he_ realized _his_ hands were tightly clutching onto the other person's hairs in _his_ fist. _He_ loosened _his_ hold on _his_ beloved and carefully smothered his hairs, arranging them in the right order.

Xiao Zhan smiled at _him_ , instinctively moving a few inches away, to have a proper look at the whole of his lover's form and in the process, letting Yibo see the whole of the stark-naked form of his too, simultaneously.

Yibo, unblinkingly, stared at Xiao Zhan's bare chest for a while before allowing _his_ gaze to travel down and down till _his_ eyes finished exploring the exposed slim figure before _him_ that was caged inside _his_ arms. _He_ brought _his_ hand and touched Xiao Zhan all over his warm skin, trying to memorize and adore, slowly tracing the beautiful body on top of _him_ , making _his_ beloved shudder in ecstasy several times.

Xiao Zhan's eyes spoke volumes. He wanted _him_ , Yibo realized. Almost as much as _he_ wanted him but _he_ doubted _his_ Zhan-ge could possibly know how incredible he was in his lover's eyes. Every part of Xiao Zhan seemed to be etched out of the world's most brilliant gemstone.  
  


Curling his index finger and hooking it beneath Yibo's chin, Xiao Zhan lifted and leaned close, rubbing his nose upon the tip of his lover's, resting his mouth on the other's chin and giggling against _his_ skin.

_"What?"_

"I love you... I really, really, really do"

_"I know and I do too"_

Xiao Zhan once again let out a quiet chuckle and nuzzled into Yibo's neck. Yibo took him closer in _his_ arms and affectionately caressed his shoulder and arms.  
  


"I am being spoiled outrageously by my doting lover", Xiao Zhan said and moved his head up to kiss his lover. He was instantly kissed back with the same intensity. It was the first time someone had ever treated him like this and it felt right. Completely natural and wildly exciting. The flare of desire that shot through his eyes was not missed by Yibo. _He_ could not help but stare at _his_ beloved, thirsting for _him_ , thrill and delight pouring out of him. Xiao Zhan, in Yibo's eyes, looked prodigious. He looked stunning and breath-taking.  
  


 _"How beautiful are you!"_ , exclaimed the younger male.

"Says who? ... The Creator's most amazing creation", answered the older one.

_"Your eyes are like shining stars"_

"Your whole body is my enigmatic galaxy"

_"You make me want to be an astronaut. I would have loved to land on my favourite star"_

"And I should become an astronomer because I can't stop studying and appreciating the beauty of this intercosmic space in the form of you"

Yibo playfully hitXiao Zhan on his arm before giving him a peck on the cheek. _"Are we going to talk about the stars and galaxies, now?"_

"You started"

 _"You could have sto..."_ , _his_ words stayed locked inside _his_ mouth as Xiao Zhan pressed his lips against Yibo's, kissing them vigorously for a while before parting away to catch in some breaths.

"Do you want to be shut up like this?"

 _"Not a bad idea, though"_ , Yibo chuckled.  
  


Dropping his head down and kissing his lover, once again, for a while, they pulled back to look into each other's eyes.

"Did you do this before?", Xiao Zhan asked.

 _"I would have if you had not rejected my love two years before"_ , Yibo winked.

Xiao Zhan could not restrain his noisy giggle.

 _"Did you do it?"_ , Yibo asked.

"How could I, if you had not?"

Xiao Zhan kept staring at _him_ for a long moment. Yibo caressed his lips with _his_ thumb tip. **_"What?"_**

 **"Do you have a preference, Yibo?"** , Xiao Zhan asked.

_**"Of what?"** _

**"Of whatever we are going to do next"**

_**"Do you have any?"** _

**"I don't know"** , the elder shook his head.

Yibo snuggled closer to _his_ beloved, _**"How will we know what we prefer if we don't try both?"**_

Xiao Zhan inclined his face and laid his lips on Yibo's, which was like a freshly split-open fig. For a long time, they explored each other's mouth. Pulling away from the intense kiss, they stared into each other's eyes for an awkward second.

**"So, who shall..."**

_**"You go ahead, today. Next time, my baobao won't be spared"**_ , Yibo said as _his_ hand wrapped around the elder's back and slid down along his spine, resting at his hip. Xiao Zhan unconsciously shifted his body and sat up, smiling widely at _him_.

**"Bo-di's wish is my command"**   
  


Yibo widened _his_ arms inviting his beloved for a hug. Xiao Zhan instantly dropped himself onto _him_.

 _ **"Xiao Zhan"**_. His name was a tormented whisper in his dearest's lips.

He pressed a light, provocative kiss on the Yibo's mouth.

_**"Do you trust me, Zhan-ge?"** _

**"Offcourse, I do"**

_**"I trust you too. I would not mind if you wind up ravishing me"**_ , Yibosaid shyly. _**"From here I let you take control over everything in between us. Don't be in any kind of dilemma. Let's explore our hankering together"**_

 **"Then promise me something"** , Xiao Zhan said, looking into _his_ eyes.

 _ **"Okay... I will tell you if there is this slightest discomfort in me"**_ , Yibo assured him.  
  


Holding his lover's gaze all the while, Xiao Zhan's hand slowly slid down their bodies and his fingers found what the desires in him was yearning for. Lying over the perfect art, the amateur artist in this specific field of art, moved his hand in a surprisingly skilful manner, having in his mind the clear idea of how to cherish and worship every inch of this perfectly created sculpture that solely belonged to him.

His Yibo was the Superior Creator's most beautiful painting and right at that moment the brush was in his hand, under his control as he began with tiny strokes to get the colour of longing appear evident on his lover's face. The smooth movement of his hand gradually intensified and Yibo clung onto _his_ beloved, as the fire inside of _him_ burnt, making _him_ almost lose sense with pleasure.

The painter confidently and boldly continued with the strokes of the brush till his colour of love, devotion and trust blended with Yibo's burning desire, that resulted in the other person exploding and melting inside Xiao Zhan's fingers.

Xiao Zhan was too overwhelmed to describe his own emotions in a clear way. His whole self was drenched in the shower of new colours... colours of amor.   
  


Placing a hand on Yibo's cheek, Xiao Zhan quickly connected their lips, making sure not to deepen the kiss, leaving all rooms open for both of them to keep inhaling. Drawing all of his lover's attention towards their kiss who was still in the hangover of his recently released pleasure, Xiao Zhan quickly took his position, settling himself properly from where he could get a clear view of the person beneath him.

They continued kissing slowly. Yibo moved _his_ hand to Xiao Zhan's back, pressing him closer against _his_ own self. Their kiss was like opening up _his_ soul, tasting, feeling and seeing every colour of the rainbow in their own sensual way, almost like catching _his_ beloved's warmth inside _his_ heart in a bottle and sealing its cap so that the intoxicating smell of the elder one could never leave _him_.

Xiao Zhan felt like breathing in his person, through his mouth, like a cool inhalation of oxygen to satisfy the craving of his soul, like nothing in the world exist but the two of them.  
  


The pleasure sweeping through Yibo was unbearable. _He_ desired to be enraptured and fascinated. _He_ felt the urge to be claimed by _his_ person... connect with him in the way _he_ had never wished to be connected with anybody else. How could _he_? Nobody had previously loved _him_ , pined for _him_ the way _his_ Zhan-ge did. Yibo wanted to explore all the unsolved mysteries between them. _He_ wanted to be taken in every way possible by the only man in _his_ life.

 _He_ let out a groan, knitting _his_ eyebrows. Xiao Zhan pulled his lips away to look at _him_.

"What happened?"

 _"You will make me denote with impulse. How long am I going to wait?"_ , the younger one demanded.

"That's right, what am I waiting for so long?"

_"You are an idiot"_

Xiao Zhan laughed. The raw, primitive urge to join with _him_ , to mate with _him_ , felt nearly uncontrollable. Yet he clamped down on his urges and began to slowly caress Yibo at _his_ sensitive regions, finding the spot from where his artistic skills could once again resume to blend some more colours into the moment of their union.   
  


Yibo's eyes were luminous with heat and need. _"Yes"_ , _he_ entreated after a moment and Xiao Zhan knew exactly what to do.

Obliging, the elder male surged slowly in, sheathing himself in _him_ , until he was seated fully into the pleasurable warmth of devotion of his lover. As they connected, a sheer pain travelled through _his_ spinal cord, making Yibo cry out in both pain and pleasure. _He_ bit his lower lip hard, attempting to suppress the ache that made _his_ wracked body tremble. Sweat beads appeared on _his_ forehead and a drop of tear rolled down the corner of _his_ eyes, as _he_ shut them close, striving to endure the discomfort.

Xiao Zhan, immediately, sank into his man's embrace feeling Yibo's chest rise and fall with _his_ laboured breathing. He slowly pulled himself partway from the point where they were in contact, while brushing his thumb over his lover's tears, wiping them away.  
  


"Are you hurt, my love?"

Holding _his_ lower lip in between _his_ teeth, Yibo moved _his_ head. _"No... it's just a little"_

Xiao Zhan gently kissed _him_ on _his_ cheek and at the corner of _his_ eyes, before lingering his tongue over _his_ lips, silently asking _him_ to part them for him. Yibo obeyed and _his_ man, at once, took _his_ mouth in his, gently and carefully kissing them.

"Relax... I am here", Xiao Zhan said in between and his hand went behind Yibo's waist, rubbing and massaging his tailbone.

_"Zhan-ge"_

"My dear"

_"Zhan-ge"_

"Yes, my love"

_"GeGe"  
_

"Yes... you are doing very well. The hurt won't last, darling"

"Mn... _I... can't feel you"_ , Yibo said in a tone of complaint as _he_ shifted feverishly against _his_ beloved, looking for the pain that left _his_ body.   
  


Xiao Zhan palmed _his_ forehead, wiping the sweat away from _his_ temples. Dropping a kiss at the point in between _his_ eyebrows, he slowly returned to the place from where he was deriving warmth a while ago and withdrew almost immediately, once again. Yibo closed _his_ eyes and arched _his_ back, straining towards him, panting, _his_ nails digging into _his_ beloved's shoulders as _he_ clung to him.

"The pain will soon be gone... love", Xiao Zhan assured and dropped affectionate pecks on his lover's eyelids.

There was something enchanting about how lost, how abandoned, Yibo looked. Something magical was there about how the lower parts of their bodies reconnected, the upper halves locked in the tightest hug and Xiao Zhan started moving in a timeless, primal rhythm.

All these whiles, they kissed each other repeatedly. Their union had started to fill the gap of years of silence in between them. _His_ GeGe was right, Yibo thought. The pain had started becoming more and more pleasurable with every passing second as they got accustomed to each other's proximity against their skin, deep into their desires. Both of them together gained satisfaction, fulfilment and gratification from this moment.

Yibo remembered _his_ journey from _his_ falling in love to here - the pain, the hurt that was there in the beginning, from being rejected at first and then gradually being accepted whole heartedly by _his_ beloved during all these years, this feeling of being claimed by _his_ treasured man felt somewhat similar.  
  
  
  


At his climax Xiao Zhan groaned, as wave after wave of raw delight washed through him. He wanted to keep his violence to the minimum. But the beauty of his unification with his lover was too much, the wait had been too long.

His plunging grew more frantic. Yibo opened _his_ eyes and slowly kissed him all over his face, keeping him pressed to the point where they were joined, gently rubbing his bare back in circles, gathering _his_ beloved's hairs in _his_ fist and letting his Zhan-ge's head remain buried into the curve _his_ shoulder.

Ecstasy crested and broke over Xiao Zhan in powerful waves, leaving him spent and gasping.   
  


In the aftermath, Yibo held him closer, more delicately. Their harsh breaths mingled and Xiao Zhan laid down on top of _his_ chest, sinking into _his_ warmth while tilting his own head a little and kissing his lover at the base of _his_ throat.  
  


 _ **"Isn't this reality more romantic than any fairy-tale sequence that we shoot for dramas and movies?"**_ , Yibo whispered.

 **"They are fake. But my real person almost made me die of pleasure"** , came the reply.

Yibo had not expected such a powerful yet powerless response. Their intimacy had rattled both of them to the core.

 _ **"My first-time having sex and..."**_. Yibo's words remained incomplete as Xiao Zhan quickly lifted up his head, placing his forefinger over _his_ lips.

 **"We did not have sex. We made love"**. He kissed the younger one again on _his_ neck and rested his head back on _his_ chest.

_**"And it is the purest way to feed my soul"** _   
  


**"Yibo"** , Xiao Zhan said without looking up.

_**"Mn"** _

**"Was this comfortable for you?"**

_**"Perfect"** _

**"Shall we try the other way, next time, Yibo?"**

_**"Offcourse... we will"** _

**"Okay... we can then discover what kind of pleasure suits us the best"**

Yibo lifted up Xiao Zhan's chin and pressed _his_ mouth over his.

_**"Making love with you is never about you and me in any specific position. You send chills down my spine even when you drop a peck on my cheek. I am comfortable with anything that you will prefer"** _

The elder entwined their hands. **"I too am comfortable with anything that you want"**

_**"Okay, then you will decide what to do"** _

**"It's better, you decide"**

_**"No, baobao... it will make me very happy to satisfy you the way you wish to be satisfied"** _

**"But, Yibo, your pleasure matters more... it will give me more delight if you tell me what you want"**

_**"My pleasure is in your satisfaction, gege. You will decide which way should we go"** _

**"My delight is in fulfilling your needs, Bo-di. I want my puppy to decide for** _**his** _ **baobao"**

Yibo glared at _his_ beloved. _**"I said YOU"**_

**"I TOO SAID YOU"**

_**"DON'T ARGUE"** _

**"YOU ARE FIGHTING"**

_**"NO, I AM NOT"** _

**"NEITHER AM I"** , Xiao Zhan frowned.

_**"LISTEN TO ME"** _

**"YOU HEAR ME OUT, FIRST"**

_**"XIAO ZHAN"** _

**"WANG YIBO"**   
  


To be continued...


	31. Million Colours of Happiness

Yibo woke up from _his_ sound sleep to the ringing of the doorbell. Stretching _his_ arms out, _he_ tried to move _his_ sore body and… _he_ rolled out of the sofa, _his_ bottom landed on the floor with a thud.

 ** _“AAHHHH”_** , Yibo screamed, with _his_ eyes still tightly closed.

Almost instantly, a familiar voice was heard, approaching _him_.

“What happened? What happened?”, it spoke.

The familiar pair of arms lifted _him_ up and placed _him_ back onto the sofa, into the pillows, covering _him_ nicely with the warm blanket. Yibo stretched out _his_ arms again to touch _his_ person but the doorbell interrupted their moment, once more, and _he_ felt his beloved leaving _his_ side, even before _he_ could get _his_ hands on him.

Lying there with _his_ eyes shut, Yibo waited… _he_ waited… and _he_ kept waiting. It had barely been five minutes, what felt like eternity to _him_ , waiting for _his_ lover to return.

Very reluctantly _he_ opened _his_ eyes and _his_ hands automatically searched for _his_ mobile beside the pillows. It was not there. Instead the other person’s phone was lying on the table beside. Yibo checked the time. The screen read **3:15 pm**.

Letting out an audible yawn, _he_ looked around the room. All the curtains were drawn, preventing sunlight from penetrating through the thick glass window. _His_ fingers unlocked the phone, _he_ was holding, and _he_ unmindfully started tapping on random apps.

**“Good Afternoon”**

Yibo lifted _his_ gaze up, at once, from the mobile screen to look at the bright smile of _his_ beloved, that was being flashed at _him_.

Xiao Zhan was beautiful, that was the only thought to have popped up into Yibo’s mind as soon as he saw the man of sunshine before _him_.

“Your lunch… rather our lunch”. Xiao Zhan said as he carefully placed the tray of food on the tea table in front.

Yibo did not respond. Instead _he_ extended his arms wide at the elder one, signaling him _his_ need of a hug. Displaying all his teeth to his lover, Xiao Zhan right away stepped forward. Yibo slipped eagerly into the embrace as _his_ beloved pulled down the blanket from above _his_ body, until _his_ waist and clamped his own hands around _his_ naked form, letting the younger person surrender completely into the warmth that he gladly provided.

“Are you okay?”, Xiao Zhan asked.

_“Mn”_

“Did you sleep well?”, The elder person had slowly started to rock back and forth, while patting his lover gently on _his_ back, as if trying to put a child to sleep.

Who would not love to me pampered? For Yibo too, it was a Yes… not just a Yes but a hell Yes. _He_ knew _he_ was lucky, _he_ felt blessed to have found a partner, who _he_ did not have to even ask for affection. No sooner did _he_ wake up than _his_ beloved showered _him_ with hundred gestures to make _him_ feel special.

 _“Mn”_ , Yibo weakly responded.

The other person slipped his hands down _his_ waist and massaged _him_ there, gently, using both of his thumbs.

 _“Just a little sore”_ , the younger one slowly admitted, after a while and asked, _“Did you bring these pillows and the blanket?”_

“Yes… you were fast asleep and refused to go to the bedroom”

_“So… I… I fell asleep just like that?”_

“Just like what?”

_“That”_

“What?”

Yibo sighed. _“Nothing… keep quiet”_

Xiao Zhan chuckled and dropped a peck on _his_ head. “Why did you fall down all of a sudden?”

_“I did not realize I am not in my head”_

“Stupid”

_“Less than you”_

“Idiot”

_“Still less than you”_

“Koala bear”

 _“ummm… okay, that’s me”_ , Yibo said, wrapping _his_ arms more tightly around _his_ man’s chest and pulling him closer while lifting _his_ head up, demanding a kiss.

Xiao Zhan bent down and their mouths met hungrily for a long moment. Breaking the kiss, Yibo’s face finally displayed _his_ brightest and rarest grin.

_“So?”_

“So what?”

_“Say something”_

“What shall I say?”

_“Anything”_

“You are glowing”, Xiao Zhan commented, out of nowhere.

The smile that was plastered on Yibo’s face now reached _his_ eyes and _he_ slowly dropped _his_ eyelids, putting _his_ cheek back to rest against the other’s chest. The two of them went quiet, both did not know what to say. The silence in between them was comforting, yet it was a bit awkward. It was indeed unusual for one of them to sit calmly without teasing and messing around with his younger partner. It was odd for the other one, too, to not nag and fight like a school going kid with _his_ beloved.

 _“Stop spouting nonsense”_ , Yibo said and straightened himself, pulling away from _his_ beloved.

“I don’t know what else to talk about”

_“I too don’t know what to say”_

And their gazes once again drifted from each other, looking here there around the room.

Xiao Zhan hesitantly got up from the seat and walked towards the windows, parting the curtains allowing the outside light to enter and lit up the room. Yibo’s eyes followed _his_ man’s movements, all this while, unblinkingly.

Xiao Zhan turned around. “So… umm… will you like to take a shower?”

It felt strangely unfamiliar for Yibo to hear Xiao Zhan talking to _him_ in such soft, respectful manner. _He_ blinked a few times and stuttered, _“My… p… pa… pa… pants?”_ , _his_ voice almost died down before _he_ could audibly pronounce _‘pants’_.

Xiao Zhan tried to stifle a chuckle and snorted. He urged to tease his lover a little.

“The bathroom is there”, he pointed his finger towards a specific direction. “It’s not that you have to travel one mile. Just a few steps from where you are. You can go without your clothes, if you wish…”

His words stayed back in his mouth as he saw a big pillow, flying in the air, that was being thrown in his direction along with the ear shattering scream.

**_“BAOBAO”_ **

“Okay… okay…”, Xiao Zhan caught the pillow that was about to land on him and unable to completely suppress a shudder, he hid his face behind it.

Walking upto the behind of the couch, he picked up his trouser, lying on the floor, that the younger one was wearing until he had taken it off _him_ , some hours before, and handed it over to _him_. Yibo struggled a while to put on the pants from under the blanket. Xiao Zhan kept staring at him for a whole minute before he reached out to hold Yibo firmly by _his_ wrist. The other person lifted _his_ head to look up at him. Xiao Zhan leaned down, aiming directly for the other one’s lips.

His hands took the trouser away from his lover and removing the blanket from over _his_ bare body he helped Yibo slip _his_ legs into the pant, one at a time, and pulled it upwards till its edges reached _his_ thighs. Smiling into the kiss, Xiao Zhan mumbled in between _his_ breaths, “Let’s accept the fact that we have seen each other. You made love to me. I made love to you and…”

Yibo sucked on his mouth earnestly, forbidding him to speak further, as _he_ wrapped _his_ arms around his beloved’s neck and gradually climbed down the sofa, standing against Xiao Zhan’s body, allowing him to make _him_ wear the trouser properly.

 _“We made love. I know”_ , Yibo finally said, before pulling away.

“Yes”

_“I have accepted”_

“Me too”, Xiao Zhan nodded.

_“Looking forward to more”_

“Already?”

_“Already”_

“Yibo”

_“Zhan-ge… Another round?”_

“Now?”

_“Now”_

“No… go and take a shower and eat something”

_“Zhan-ge”_

“No”

_“Why?”_

Xiao Zhan threw his head back and laughed. “I am hungry, Bo”

Holding the elder one in a tight hug, Yibo drew in some warmth. “Okay… we will eat our lunch, first”

“Yes… Go quick and finish your shower”

Yibo hummed and was about to walk away when _his_ beloved pulled _him_ back, turning him to reconnect their lips.

Yibo pushed him away. _“Annoying man”_

“Why?”

_“You kiss me so much and then send me away to shower alone”_

“You want me to come?”

_“Seal your mouth”_

“I am serious Bo. If you want me to accompany you then…”

 _“Okay let’s shower together”_. Yibo at once agreed.

“I don’t know from where did I get you”, Xiao Zhan burst into laughter.

 _“From **‘Chen-Qing-Ling’** ”_, the other person answered.

**“Hmm… did Wei WuXian seriously lend me his Lan Wangji?”**

**_“No… Lan Wangji belongs only to Him just as Wang Yibo belongs only to You”_ **

“You are being too romantic, Yibo”

_“I think I am more aroused, now”_

They both chuckled together.

“Come back soon and eat a lot. I am not going to be the one to do all the work, the next time too, while letting you play dead”, the elder one teased.

His lover clenched _his_ fist and playfully hit him in his stomach. _“I will see you”_

Xiao Zhan cringed, “ **OUUCCHHH** … Domestic violence”

_“Go and file a police complaint”_

“Can’t wait to meet you in Court”

Ignoring him, Yibo walked away, while shaking with giggles.

“ **BO** … your agency and manager has been calling you since a long time. By now there must 200 missed calls and 1 lakh messages. Call them back when you are done showering”, Xiao Zhan said, while settling down on the sofa, arranging the blanket and pillows.

 ** _“LET THEM… WHO CARES? TODAY I AM ON A HOLIDAY”_** , came the loud response, followed by the bathroom door being shut with a loud bang.

 **“SLOW DOWN, DUDE. DON’T BREAK THE DOOR. I DON’T HAVE MONEY TO PAY FOR THE HOTEL’S BROKEN FURNITURES”** , Xiao Zhan shouted.

 ** _“YOU ONLY HAVE MONEY TO BUY UNTHINKABLE EXPENSIVE GIFTS FOR NO REASON”_** , Yibo shouted back from inside the bathroom.

**“SHUT UP”**

**_“YOU SHUT UP”_ **

Smiling to themselves, the two men were sitting across the table, while silently having their lunch, stealing glances at each other and averting their gazes before getting caught, staring.

 _“You annoying baby, give me your hand”_ , Yibo said, all of sudden.

Gulping his half-chewed food down his throat, Xiao Zhan looked at his lover.

“Why?”

_“What why?”_

“Why will I give you my hand?”

Pressing _his_ lips and pouting, Yibo glared hard at _his_ beloved. _“Shut your mouth and give me your hand”_. Stretching _his_ own arm out, _he_ kept _his_ hand on the table. Xiao Zhan stared at it for a while before placing his palm on the other’s awaiting hand.

Yibo gently held him and stared at it for a long moment, caressing _his_ beloved’s fingers with _his_ thumb tip. A while later, Xiao Zhan noticed the satisfactory smile playing on his lover’s lips as _he_ left his hand and focused on eating _his_ food.

“Did you read the lines on my palm?”, the elder person asked.

 _“Yes… the lines on your palm are on the backside of your hand… special and interesting case”_ , came the reply.

Xiao Zhan picked up a spoon from the side and threw it at the younger one.

“Brat”

Yibo laughed out loud.

“Tell me what did you see?”, Xiao Zhan asked again.

_“Nothing”_

“Tell me”

_“I said nothing”_

“Yibo”

_“Zhan-ge”_

“What did you see?”

 _“You will laugh at me, I know”_. Yibo looked at _his_ beloved.

“I promise I won’t”. Bringing his hand beside his temple and lifting his three middle fingers up in the air, Xiao Zhan gave his word.

 _“Ummm… you give me so many gifts. So, I thought I too should give something to you”,_ Yibo slowly responded.

Xiao Zhan’s eyes glowed in excitement. “Gift? For me? What gift?”

**_“Nothing special… actually my maternal grandfather had a ring, you know, family heirloom. He had given it to my father when my parents got married. My father had thought that if a girl was born to them, he will pass on that thing to their son-in-law. But… as you can see, I am born a man and not a girl…”_ **

**“Yeah, I saw that a few hours ago”** , suppressing his laughter, Xiao Zhan nodded understandingly.

**_“BAOBAO”_ **

“Okay… no more joke”, the elder put his hand on his mouth, hiding his smile.

_“I won’t say”_

“Yibo”

_“I am done eating and I am going to take another nap”_

“I am sorry, Bo”

Yibo frowned at the elder one before resuming _his_ speech.

_“Since I am born a… whatever…”_

“You are born a ‘whatever’? I thought that my lover is a man”, Xiao Zhan once again teased.

 ** _“Baobao”_** , pouting and whining like a child, Yibo made a face. Xiao Zhan pressed his forefinger over his lips, signalling the other person to continue speaking.

Yibo faked an anger. _“One more word, you utter, ge… I swear I am going to kiss you so hard that you will…”_

“Then kiss me… I said three words… it’s now seven… eight…”

Yibo left _his_ chair and in long strides, _he_ covered the distance in between them. Reaching upto _his_ beloved, he clutched the other person’s shirt, over his chest, tight in _his_ fist and bent _his_ head down to capture Xiao Zhan’s lips into _his_ , for a polite, chaste kiss.

 _“Satisfied? Now keep your mouth shut and listen to me”_ , Yibo breathed against the other’s skin.

“You said that I kiss you all the time. Who initiated it, now?”

_“This is your punishment”_

“What crime do I need to commit, to get punished daily?”

Yibo smiled at him and bringing _his_ lips against _his_ beloved’s cheek, _he_ dropped a light peck there and whispered into his ear. _“Be a good boy and we can do more”_

Xiao Zhan slowly rose from his seat and embraced his lover into his arms.

“Since, my Bo-di is born a man… then?”

Yibo hugged him back and continued, **_“… I robbed my parents off their plan to pass on the family heirloom to their son-in-law. Now it seems like they won’t be getting even a daughter-in-law, because my lover is born a man, too”_**

Xiao Zhan let out a chuckle. “So?”

**_“When I visit home, the next time, I will bring that ring with me. I don’t know if that thing will fit into your perfectly beautiful fingers or not and I know that this is sounding extremely cliched and you must be thinking what an idiot am I but…”_ **

**“Hey”** , Xiao Zhan interrupted _his_ speech and kissed _him_ on _his_ temple while tightening his arms around _him_. **“I will wear it, if you want me to”**

 _“Really?”_ , Yibo widened _his_ eyes.

**_“Offcourse… what can be more of a delight to me than my dearest person considering me worthy enough to possess such a precious thing? I will be honoured. But… talk to your parents about it, first”_ **

“Mn… I will”

The ringing of a mobile disturbed the quietness of the room and their moment in each other’s arms. Yibo got irked over _his_ ringtone and let out a frustrated groan.

Xiao Zhan chuckled. “Who told you to set my song as your ringtone? Now, you can’t even hate that sound”

 _“Zhan-ge”_ , the younger person whimpered.

“That must be your manager. Receive the call and give her some peace of mind before she gets a cardiac arrest, looking for you”

 _“Mn”_ , taking out _his_ cell-phone and looking at the screen, _he_ sighed. _“Okay, you finish your food, Zhan-ge. I am going inside to take the call”_

“Come back soon. We can resume doing our fun-activities”, Xiao Zhan winked.

_“You perverted soul”_

Their mouths once again mashed against each other for a quick kiss and Yibo walked towards the bedroom.

Receiving the call, the first thing that Yibo heard was his managers’ dead serious tone asking him about his whereabouts.

Yibo scratched his chin and thought if he should honestly admit to her that he came to see Xiao Zhan. His long silence on the line made Mei Xiu decide to continue speaking and her next words echoed inside Wang Yibo as if they were ravening downpour in a stormy night.

**“If you wish to let Xiao Zhan live, for God’s sake, leave that damn place and come back right now. Otherwise stay there and see him die”**

What Yibo heard on the call, had deeply shocked him, instantly, to the extent that his mouth was left open and he struggled for sometime to get her lines process in his mind.

_“What?”_

“Had you been a bit more careful, Yibo, I would not have been here, trying to reach you uncountable times in the last six hours”

 _“What the hell did happen, Mei Xiu Jie?”_ , Yibo could finally phrase a proper sentence and asked.

“Did not you check the social media and the emails that I had sent you?”

Yibo hurriedly put the phone call on speaker and tapped on the notifications on his screen to check the unread emails.

He began scrolling down, looking at the pictures one-be-one.

_“What are these pictures?”_

“Newspaper cuttings. You can read Chinese, can’t you? If you can’t then let me explain it to you… Li Qiang, an actor who rose to popularity from the movie _‘Splendid Suns’_ , released in 2010, in case you remember… Because of his overnight name and fame, all other movies of various actors released during the same time were declared flops”

 _“I see”_ , Yibo mumbled.

“ **For your kind information many of those other actors were from our agency YueHua Entertainment**. Li Qiang went on to give a few more successful dramas till the end of 2011 when all of a sudden, he became the prime suspect of a Japanese tourist rape case and that was the main reason of downfall of his career. Two years later, after much investigation, the court declared him _Not Guilty of the Crime_ but… he committed suicide soon after he was released from house arrest”

_“Suicide? … he died?”_

“Can you even imagine the kind of mental pressure that he went through to have thought that dying was easier than living?”

 _“I… I don’t know… what to say… I mean…”_ , Yibo was at loss of words.

Ignoring him, Mei Xiu continued, “2014, Zhang Yong… you know him?”

_“Offcourse, he used to be the household names during those times when I was in Uniq. It was revealed that he was a drug addict and was imprisoned for possessing certain unlicensed weapons”_

“No. Neither was he a drug addict nor did he have any illegal pistol. Those rumours were baseless. When he underwent a thorough body check-up, the doctors had found no trace of intake of drug in his system. Later his lawyer even showed the license of the gun, that was under his possession, to the police. Unfortunately, at the time when he was imprisoned, the license suddenly went missing”

_“Then… then…?”_

“Then what? … Nothing. His acting career came to an abrupt end. He could never gain back his lost fame and **coincidentally it happened just after he left the YueHua Entertainment agency because of the rising disputes in between Du Hua and him”**

“So?”, Yibo’s voice shook as his mind was starting to connect the links of the two stories narrated to him by his manager. He remained staring at the articles mentioning the same in details.

“The headlines were catchy, aren’t they?”, she remarked. “ _The fall of the Emperor_ , _Rapist behind an innocent face_. Do you like them Yibo?”

 _“JieJie… Does she… Du Hua knows?”_ , swallowing nervously, Yibo asked in a shaky voice.

He heard Mei Xiu’s sigh on the call. “Ever since the video of you entering the hotel where Xiao Zhan is staying, went viral, the whole of the nation knows where you are”

 _“Someone took a video?’_ , Yibo was surprised as hell.

“Yes”

_“What is she thinking of doing now? Ruin me?”_

“She won’t ruin you Yibo, be sure about that. But she won’t let anything else ruin you too. She won’t let anyone else be a hurdle in the path of your fame, too. From how much I know about her, she will not do anything to bring your image down, Yibo… but…”

_“But?”_

“She will destroy Xiao Zhan”

A long minute of silence followed and Yibo, suddenly raised his voice, “ _As if it will be easy”_ ,.

“This industry is toxic and the kind of power the agencies and the netizens hold, you know that”

_“Nothing will happen to my Ge. Do you think his agency will do nothing, if anyone attempts to harm him?”_

**“No…”** , she responded. **“They will fight back, we all know that but by the time his name gets cleared from the accusations, thrown at him, if any, Xiao Zhan will not remain Xiao Zhan anymore… be sure about that too”**

To be continued…


	32. Life’s Cruelest Irony

_"Nothing will happen to my Ge. Do you think his agency will do nothing, if anyone attempts to harm him?"_

"No...", she responded. "They will fight back, we all know that but by the time his name gets cleared from the accusations, thrown at him, if any, Xiao Zhan will not remain Xiao Zhan anymore... be sure about that too"

A sudden unknown fear seized his inner core and Yibo could not utter another word for a long minute. He feebly moved his legs and sat down on the bed and uttered a weakly, sick groan which aroused his own pity.

_"I can't leave him"_

"Yibo... I can understand". Mei Xiu made a failed attempt to comfort him.

 _"You cannot understand. Nobody can. It's impossible"_ , Yibo mumbled half to himself.

"Your bodyguards are already waiting in the parking lot of the hotel. Come back".

Her words belied her state of heart. She could not explain how much she hated to convince Yibo to return, leaving behind his life's most precious possession. She could guess atleast a little of what the other man was going through but was left with no other option. She heard him heave a sigh of tiredness.

**_"He will die"_ **

"I am sorry Yibo... come back, please. Tell Du Hua that you will never see Xiao Zhan, again. Don't lie. Be honest. Promise her that you will cut all ties with him"

**_"But he won't be able to live if I do that"_ **

"And if she takes an unexpected, drastic step against Xiao Zhan, out of fury, you won't be able to handle it, Yibo. Atleast... atleast for the time being, come back. The internet world is going crazy. Everybody knows that you are in a hotel, spending time with him. Let them calm down, first"

**_"I can't JieJie. Because of people who I don't even know, how can I leave him, who I love?"_ **

**"Try to understand, please. It has just been a while and stalkers have already started getting suspicious of you two. Weibo is already in a big mess. Everywhere people are discussing about how Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo disappears at the same time and spotted at the same place separately. This nation does not accept this. If the government calls a ban on you, things will be a bigger mess and Du Hua will make sure to keep your name safe, no matter if that would mean framing Xiao Zhan in fake, offensive cases"**

_"JieJie"_. Yibo's voice broke and his throat blazed in sharp pain as he tried to suppress his sobs. _"no... no... he does not deserve another blow to his career. I know he can handle things well. He is strong, he is patient but he is very delicate too. People must not bash that poor, innocent soul anymore"_

"Then come back... come back please. Let the world drift their mind to other things. Give them that time"

**_"But He will never be able to let go of me"_ **

"Wang Yibo... make him understand"

**_"How will I make him understand? What shall I say to him? The bond that we share – he loves it more than his life, I love him more than my own life. I will die before telling him that I wish to break off whatever is there in between him and me"_ **

Mei Xiu felt at a loss for words. Unable to articulate a coherent thought to say something in Yibo's favour that could lessen the pain he was undergoing through, she chose to remain quiet, listening to the almost inaudible rambling of the person on the call, like a mad man.

Some seconds later, he slowly fell silent and without saying another word, Yibo disconnected the call. Mei Xiu immediately wanted to call him back but she did not. She knew the other person was hurting like hell. He needed time... some time for himself to think alone and decide. She knew Yibo would come back. He could go to any length and take risks for himself but now when it was about Xiao Zhan, she knew he would give up everything without a second thought. Yet it pained her to think about the dilemma and heartache the young man must be suffering, right at the moment.

Yibo remained sitting on the bed, staring blankly at the screen of _his_ mobile, eyes frozen on the wallpaper of his beloved and _him_ eating ice cream. The picture was a bit blurry. Xiao Zhan's hands might had shaken, Yibo remembered _he_ was continuously and intentionally annoying him, not letting him take their selfie properly.

Still this picture was one of their favourites. This was their first date as a couple, the first time _his_ Zhan-ge had paid _him_ a surprise visit with a big bar of chocolate ice-cream and burgers and pizzas. This was their first cheat meal, after a long time, that veered from their regular strict diet routine. One single picture was stuffed with such jubilant emotions. How could anyone else, who were asking them to break off, realize the value of the uncountable memories that they had made with each other for so many years? Some were ecstatic, some were sour, but the memories were theirs, impossible to forget. Yibo did not know how let them go, nor could _he_ think of ways to make _his_ beloved do the same.

An SMS, almost immediately, popped up on his screen. He tapped on it and opened Du Hua's text that read. _" My head will burst, taking so much tension because of you. When you are done pissing the hell out of me, do come back from that crappy place, for God's sake, dammit. I am available in my office. Waiting to see you. We need to talk"_

They would talk. Yibo knew what was she intending to talk about. _He_ could guess a little what might be the consequences this time, if _he_ once again refused to do what he was expected of.

**_His_ beloved loved _him_ ; Yibo knew that. But if _his_ Zhan-ge was asked to leave this career for the sake of love and hold _his_ hand and flee, would he do that? Would Xiao Zhan agree to give up his fame and live a life of non-celebrity, together with Yibo? **

**Xiao Zhan would definitely do it, Yibo could undoubtedly bet _his_ life on that. But how could _he_ be selfish and ask _his_ Zhan-ge to give up on his passion? Yibo was an integral part of Xiao Zhan's life, but not his whole life. Xiao Zhan was an intrinsic part of Yibo's life but he did not comprise the whole of it. They had decided to walk through the journey of life, together. But tying each other with ropes of love, in the process, would only suffocate them. They were lovers like flowers that were meant to bloom together and not be the plants in a garden which would wither in harsh weather, despite standing next to each other.**

**But Yibo also knew, Xiao Zhan was that delicate tree which would not grow even in a favorable climate, if not watered on a daily basis. _He_ knew _he_ was that life-surviving water for _his_ beloved, on who the elder person's whole existence was depending upon. He might had rejected Yibo's love once, realized his own feelings late, but now... now he even refused to breath in the air that Yibo was not breathing in. How could Yibo leave this person?**

A feeling, what is called, terrified, powerless, anxious and stress were together creating a mess of _his_ thinking ability. _His_ energy was spent. He did not even realize when had _he_ let _his_ numb body fall on the bed, lying on _his_ side, staring at the opposite wall of the hotel room where there was a framed picture hanging from a hook. A picture of two children running around with a quote, in bold, below: **'Happiness is not in things. It's there in you'**

There was a time, Yibo remembered, when _he_ had million reasons to give up. It was then that _he_ had still chosen to stay. There were a million reasons for Xiao Zhan to stay away. But he had still chosen to come back.

Today, the world was telling Yibo, once again, to relinquish ... now when _he_ had more than a million reasons not to do so. **The saddest kind of sad must be something like this, when someone was asked to not cry, not hear, not see... just keep on living. Let his heart pump blood into all other organs of his body and continue breathing without feeling anything.**

Lying with _his_ back facing the door of the room, Yibo heard _his_ man calling _him_ several times, that _he_ was not responding to. _His_ beloved had hardly entered the room and Yibo could already feel his presence with _his_ whole being. The hair on the back of _his_ neck bristled. An unknown thought brought a shiver that coursed down _his_ body as the faint sound of footsteps approached the bed. Holding _his_ breath, Yibo waited. The bed beside _him_ dipped, a familiar arm encircled around _his_ body and another hand lifted _his_ head a bit and slid under _his_ neck. A familiar pair of warm soft lips was pressed on the bare skin of the back of _his_ neck and _his_ beloved snuggled himself against _him_ from behind and stayed still for a long time before starting to speak.

"Love... I was calling you. You were not answering. What happened?"

_"......"_

"Hey, Bo... I was waiting for you"

_"......"_

"Yibo-ge, Yibo-ge... look at your Zhan-di, once", Xiao Zhan laughed softly and stroked his lover's hairs, affectionately. Silent tears coursed down the corners of Yibo's eyes and soaked into the milky white bedsheet.

"Yibo-ge, Yibo-ge", Xiao Zhan once again called _him_ from behind and brushed his own face into his lover's hairs. He really liked the way Yibo smelled. Nothing in the world, for Xiao Zhan, smelled as good as the man he loved. His ambience scented of his precious person and that was what reminded the elder one, every time, that he was in love.

"Yibo-ge, Yibo-ge... you used my shampoo today. Then why is your smell making me heartily feeble and mentally dumb", the speaker giggled like an amused and excited child.

_"Zhan-ge"_

"Hmm"

_"Do you love your work?"_

The unexpected question, at such a time, surprised the other one and he asked, "Which work?"

 _"The things that you do. Acting, singing, being in this glamour world. The worldwide popularity, name and fame... money. You love them?"_ , Yibo uttered in a low, tired voice.

"Umm, yeah... actually I got habituated with all of these - this constant popularity in this industry. About our career, yes, I love acting, I love singing. I love painting too but... I love my man the most". Xiao Zhan chuckled. "Don't you love your career? Acting, singing, dancing, racing?"

_"Mn... that's right. I love them too"_

"And you love me the most, don't you?", Xiao Zhan rested his cheek lightly on the side of Yibo's head, holding _him_ close against his own body.

Yibo remained silent and unmoving.

"I know you too love me the most. Why don't we get an opportunity to act alongside each other once again? It will be of so much fun"

_"......"_

"You brat". Seeing Yibo not responding, Xiao Zhan pressed his mouth firmly on the back of _his_ neck, once again, kissing _him_ soundly and nuzzled his nose against _his_ skin.

"Feeling tired Yibo? Is your waist hurting? C'mon, let me give you a nice massage", and Yibo felt Xiao Zhan kissing _him_ warmly, a few more times on _his_ neck, showering so much love on _him_ as if _he_ was a small child that needed attention and tender touches.

Yibo kept lying quietly on the bed, dominated by profound sadness, fatigue engraved on every inch of skin on _his_ body.

Xiao Zhan brought his mouth beside his lover's ears and whispered into it. "Hey...Turn towards me, Bo-di"

 _"Let me be this like. It's more comfortable"_. Yibo wanted to hide _his_ wet face and tears.

**"Okay... actually Yibo, there is something that I wanted to tell you. I was looking for an apartment in Baotou. It is one of the least populated places in our country. We will buy a one-room apartment okay? A small one, not the usual kind that celebrities live in... unlike our other houses. They are too big, too grand and too luxurious. This one is not much spacious but cute. I was seeing the pictures of the rooms. It has one bedroom, one kitchen, one small dining room and a bathroom. Let's buy that. It can be a perfect place for us to have a break from the hustle and bustle of the big cities. No-one will find out. No-one can even dream of checking that place. Is that alright?"**

Yibo did not react to whatever _his_ beloved was talking about. Xiao Zhan could not even understand whether the other person heard him or not. He tightened his embrace around his lover and gently moved his palm over the younger one's arms.

"What happened? Tired? ... want to sleep for a while". For the umpteenth time, he kissed Yibo's shoulder and neck. "Take rest and then we can continue fighting. I am sending your clothes for laundry. Did you take your wallet out of your pant pocket? Where are your apartment keys?"

Xiao Zhan unwrapped his hand from around Yibo and was about to climb down the bed when the other one sat up and held him back by his wrist for a fraction of second.

_"Wait... my clothes are fine. I need them"_

"Now?"

_"Mn"_

"What will you do with them now?", the elder one asked, confused.

Yibo quickly got on _his_ feet and headed towards the bathroom, ignoring the question. _He_ slowly walked in and closed the door behind _him_ , leaning against it for support.

 _He_ took in some deep breaths. The urge to cry came and went a few times as _he_ brought _his_ hand up, pressing it hard against _his_ mouth, trying _his_ best to supress the desolation within that was sitting heavy inside _his_ throat. Powerful, hot tears spilled _his_ eyes and all he felt was utter despair, depression. It felt like death by a thousand whip lashes, for everytime _he_ thought about how to face the person sitting outside, waiting for _him,_ as soon as _he_ would step out of the bathroom.

Yibo sat down on the floor of the washroom and kept sitting there, motionless, his attention lost in thoughts, while he gazed off into the distance, till _he_ heard a light knocking on the door from the other side, a while later.

"Bo-di... you alright? What happened?". _His_ person was calling _him_.

Yibo kept quiet.

"Is there any discomfort? Want me to come in? Unlock the door, please. What happened? Let me see"

Even though _he_ was not answering, Xiao Zhan remained standing there, tirelessly waiting for _him_ to respond to his repeated questions. Yibo gradually rose up and pressing _his_ ear against the door, _he_ slowly spoke in an audible tone.

_"Go away. I am fine"_

_He_ heard _his_ beloved's small chuckle. "Okay... okay I am going"

Yibo opened the door of the bathroom and carefully closed it behind _him_ and took in a deep breath. _He_ came to stand in front of the mirror, adjusting the belt buckle of _his_ jeans and rolling up the sleeves of _his_ shirt while, intentionally, keeping _his_ focus on himself and refused to avert _his_ gaze towards _his_ beloved sitting at a distance, from _him_ , on the bed, whose wide pair of eyes were fixed on _him_ , observing _his_ every move.

Ignoring the other person, Yibo picked up the comb and brushed _his_ hairs, slowly.

"Where are you going?", Xiao Zhan asked.

_"......"_

"Are you going somewhere?"

_"......"_

Yibo's mobile, lying on the bed, beeped a few times, indicating the arrival of some new messages. Before Xiao Zhan could grab it and hand it over to its owner, Yibo literally jumped and snatched away the phone from him, not letting the other person take even a glance at it.

"Relax, dude", the elder one was surprised and amused at the same time over the unexpected reaction from his lover. "It's not like my touching your phone ever bothered you. What happened today? Are you cheating on me behind my back... huh?"

Yibo ignored his blabbering and checked the messages. New texts from Du Hua that read, _" Are you coming or not?"_; _" Wang Yibo... Come Back"_; _" There are new offers for you. This production house is willing to pay high. They wish to discuss the script with you"_; _" I want you in my office, as soon as possible"_

They desperately wanted _him_ back at work. Yibo sighed. Shoving the phone into _his_ pocket, _he_ turned back to the dressing table and resumed combing _his_ hairs.

"Who was that? Your manager?", Xiao Zhan asked.

 _"No-one"_ , Yibo answered.

"Is she telling you to go back?"

_"......"_

"Yibo, is that why you are getting ready, all of a sudden?"

_"......"_

"Hey... my spoilt baby"

"......"

Seeing the younger one not responding to him, Xiao Zhan climbed down the bed and walked upto him. His hands touched Yibo's waist and then he slipped his arms around _him_ from behind, drawing _him_ back against his chest.

"You little shit. Not responding to me, huh?", Xiao Zhan inclined his head and kissed Yibo on _his_ cheek before letting his chin rest on his lover's shoulder.

Yibo stood unmoving, looking at the reflection of them on the mirror, their bodies tangled into each other, arms intertwined, it was rather an intense position but Yibo's face displayed none of the emotions that could explain _his_ state of mind.

"Bo... why are you not talking with me? Is there something bothering you?"

_"No"_

"Work pressure?"

_"No"_

"Are you leaving now?"

 _"Mn"_. Yibo responded and forcefully pulled himself away from the firm grip of _his_ beloved. _He_ was intending to walk out of the room but the familiar pair of arms grabbed _his_ elbow tightly, pulling _him_ close against himself, again. Yibo's hands, voluntarily, rested against the other's chest, in an attempt to push him away.

"Tell her that I am not yet ready to let you go", Xiao Zhan said.

Yibo wanted to get out of his hold but needless to say _his_ man was strong enough to keep _him_ caged in his embrace... the hug was rough yet firm and Yibo could not fight against him. Every bit of _his_ energy would drain away and _he_ felt _he_ might die if he forcefully tried to break through the bars of love.

"Tell your manager that you will return tomorrow. Stay with me today", Xiao Zhan chuckled a little, pouted cutely and hugged his lover tight. "You said I have my rights on you. Let me enjoy the privileges of being the lover of the nation's handsomest man. It has just been a few hours and my lungs are not yet done, inhaling your scent". Xiao Zhan brushed his nose against the skin of Yibo's throat and left a chaste kiss on _his_ Adam's apple.

 _"I have work. I can't stay. Its urgent"_ , Yibo said in a resistant voice, the kind of tone that had put Xiao Zhan's mind in a daze. He did not hear his dearest person talking to him in such a way, for a long while. He broke the hug and looked at _him_.

"Is it that important?"

Yibo's face was empty as _he_ pushed away from his beloved, avoiding his gaze and turned and exited the bedroom. The elder one had to almost run behind _him_ , without tripping, to catch upto _his_ sudden fast pace.

Yibo picked up _his_ grey hoodie from the couch and slid _his_ arms into it, wearing it properly and pulled it over _his_ head.

"Are you seriously going, this soon? I am already missing you Yibo. Can't you stay a bit longer? This is the first time you are leaving so early", Xiao Zhan said, hanging his head down.

 _"I have work"_. Yibo's tone was indifferent. _He_ had said the words in a way that had left no room in between them to stretch the topic further. The elder one did not want to begin an argument at that moment. He hummed a "Okay" and kept observing his lover, who sat down on the sofa and slipped _his_ feet into the socks, one by one. _His_ composure was calm.

Xiao Zhan was having this feeling of discomfort in his heart that his person was distancing _himself_ from him inspite of them being so close to each other. He immediately wished to bridge the gap in between them as he walked upto Yibo and stood opposite to where the other person was sitting. He bent down slowly and tilted his head to plant two kisses, on each of Yibo's cheeks. He was expecting the younger one to look up at him and smile, as he normally did, but today Yibo, for some strange reason, did not react. _He_ wore _his_ socks and adjusted _his_ pants. Having finished, _he_ got up from _his_ seat and looked around for his cap and mask.

Xiao Zhan held _him_ by _his_ hand and then stretched out his arms wide at _him_ , waiting for his lover to hug him. He kept waiting for many seconds, staring at the other one who too was staring back at him, giving a deadpan look, without moving an inch.

A darker thought crossed the elder's mind and he slowly shook his head. "Even if I spent the whole day with you, I will start missing you the moment you leave. C'mon... give me a hug before you go"

 _"I am getting late"_ , Yibo replied nonchalantly and turned away.

Xiao Zhan immediately caught _him_ from behind.

"Yibo...", he called. "I asked for a hug"

_"I am getting late"_

"How much time will it take for you to hug your baobao? One hug... please"

_"I said... I am getting late"_

Xiao Zhan felt a little sad. "Are you angry with me?"

_"No"_

"I know you are. What happened?"

_"Nothing"_

"Did I do something wrong?"

_"......"_

"Saying 'no' repeatedly won't alter the truth that you are stressed out for some reason. Tell me Bo, what can I do to relieve your tension? Why are you having to leave?". Xiao Zhan lifted his hand up and gently caressed Yibo's cheek. "Stop avoiding me. Share with me your worries"

_"I am alright"_

"As if I don't understand. I know you more than you yourself do"

_"Let go of my hand"_

"How can I let go? As soon as you will leave, my heart will start asking about you all the time"

Yibo emitted a long, deep audible breath expressing tiredness, _"If you are done talking, leave me"_

Xiao Zhan shook his head. "Bo... are you hiding yourself from me? What happened to you, tell me now. I promise to fix everything"

_"......"_

"Shall I go to see you tomorrow? I can take a day leave"

_"No"_

"Then tell me now... what happened to you?", the elder one leaned in towards his lover for a kiss.

Forcibly pulling himself from _his_ beloved's grip, Yibo took a step back. _"Xiao Zhan..."_

Being denied of the kiss, Xiao Zhan made an unhappy face. "Yes?"

_"I have something to say"_

"What is it?",the elder's eyes were fixed on his world.

_"About what you were saying earlier... don't waste your money buying apartments and all. It's not needed"_

Xiao Zhan's face fell for a short second, that Yibo did not fail to notice. The elder one still forced a smile on his face. "You typical miser. Where will we meet the next week? You will visit me, right?"

_"I have late night shoots"_

"So, what?"

_"I can't come"_

Xiao Zhan was surprised and downhearted at the way Yibo was talking to him. He walked closer and collected his person in his arms. It felt all the more stranger when Yibo, stiffly, tried to loosen his grip on _him_ instead of hugging him back, which _he_ normally never did.

It finally was starting to pain a little. The ache was beginning to increase bit by bit at every push Yibo was forcing against Xiao Zhan's chest.

"Don't push me away", The elder person buried his face into his lover's neck.

Yibo stopped struggling and slowly mumbled beside his ears. _"Let me go"_

"No"

_"Xiao Zhan, let me go. My bodyguards are waiting downstairs"_

"Let them"

_"I need to leave"_

"Hmm... I don't know why am I not feeling like letting you go today"

_"......"_

"Yibo... hug me back and promise to meet me soon"

At one final shove, Yibo made the elder person stumble on his own feet as he was forced to move back, breaking the hug and _he_ resettled the cover of _his_ hoodie over _his_ head.

Xiao Zhan was on the verge of tears. He once again came closer and crashed his body against his lover, hugging _him_ tight.

"Bo... What did I do?"

_"Nothing. Just move away"_

"Do you think I forced myself on you? Was I... did I hurt you?", the elder's heart broke while letting out the words.

Yibo blinked a few times to relieve the stinging in his eyes. _"No"_

"Then what is the matter? Can't you share with me? I mean...", Xiao Zhan struggled to phrase what to say next. "Were you not happy earlier? I am sorry for causing you pain. You know that even if I did, that must be unintentional... don't you know? Stop being mad at me"

_"I am not mad. Just let me go, please"_

"Don't go like this. I will miss you a little too much and a little too often. Hug me, now", the elder demanded.

Yibo's hands remained stock-still beside _his_ body. _"Please, leave me"_ , _he_ said.

"You are hurting me so much. Hug me now and kiss me. I will not hold you back for today"

_"Stop it Xiao Zhan"_

"No... tell me when are we going to see each other after today? If you are busy the next week, then shall we meet after that? I will go to see you, okay? You don't have to come. I will go......"

_"Xiao Zhan... **LEAVE ME** "_, Yibo shouted at him while vigorously pulling himself away from him.

 _His_ beloved gasped at the way he was being treated at continuous and pushed back.

**_"WILL YOU JUST STOP TALKING NON-SENSE? DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS SIMPLE THING THAT WE CAN'T MEET?"_ **

"What?". Confusion and fear crossed Xiao Zhan's face.

Yibo did not answer.

"What did you say?", Xiao Zhan asked once more, just to be sure that what he heard the first time was not wrong.

Yibo drifted _his_ gaze from him.

"We won't meet? Why? Tell me why? Did anybody say anything about me?"

_"I don't wish to talk about it anymore"_

"Why...?

Yibo's voice toned _his_ voice down a bit. **_"I won't repeat myself so listen to me. I don't want to meet you, is that clear? Neither in this week, nor in the next week... never again in any of the upcoming weeks. I just don't wish to see you again... you are dis... dis..."_** , Yibo gulped down twice. **_"YOU ARE DISGUSTING. STOP BOTHERING ME. STOP NAGGING. IT IRRITATES THE HELL OUTTA ME, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"_**

Xiao Zhan stood in stunned silence, too shocked by his lover's sudden outburst of temper.

 _ **"STOP... STOP HOLDING ME BACK... bec... because... because..."** , _the younger one gulped down a few more times, probably trying to hold back his rage or pain or any other emotion, whatever was killing him from within, tearing the insides of his chest and throat as he was pronouncing those bitter words ****_**"... because I don't wish to stay here with you, any longer"**_

Tears gathered in the other person's eyes. He struggled to stabilize his shaky voice and spoke. **"You don't... what?"**

_**"I don't want to be with you anymore?"** _

Xiao Zhan was too shocked to think of a reply, immediately. He inaudibly mumbled, **"What did I do?"**

 _ **"I feel nauseated. Being with you irritates me"** , _Yibo gritted _his_ teeth. _**"Just look at the way you are clinging onto me. I am trying to say that I have work. I need to leave but all you can do, instead of being a bit considerate, is irking me to my limits"**_

Yibo's heart throbbed loud inside _his_ chest as _he_ intentionally kept hurting the other person with such sour words. Staying quiet for several minutes, all that the elder one could finally think of as a response was, **"I am sorry. I am... I will not do it again"**

Yibo sighed. _**"I seriously think that something is wrong with you so you are unable to get what I am trying to explain to you in a simple language. I don't want your 'sorry', okay? Just leave me because I don't want to spend another minute with you, Xiao Zhan"**_

 **"SHUT UP, BO... JUST SHUT THE HELL UP"**. Xiao Zhan hurriedly approached his person and embraced _him_ again, only to be pushed back, once more. He felt the muscles of his chin trembling like a small child and he looked at the person in front in search of a light that could wash away his sadness and soothe him.

 **"I am sorry... please forgive me if I have hurt you, unknowingly. Don't say all these things"**. For the umpteenth time, Xiao Zhan spread out his hands for a hug. Yibo stepped back and picked up _his_ hat and mask from the table and covered _his_ face with them.

**"Yibo... why are you doing this?"**

Keeping silent, Yibo took a last glance at _his_ beloved and approached the door. Xiao Zhan blinked his eyelashes heavy with tears, before he walked fast upto his lover and held _him_ from behind, wrapping his arms around _him_ , firmly.

**"What happened to you Bo-di? What did I do? Tell me please. I will rectify every mistake of mine, wherever I am wrong. Don't talk to me like this"**

Yibo looked at _his_ wrist watch. **_"Leave me"_**

**"No"**

_"Xiao Zhan, **LET ME GO** "_

**"NO"**. He pressed his forehead against the back of Yibo's shoulder and began to plead and apologize like a regretting criminal who had been sentenced to death.

 **"I am sorry... I am so sorry"**. Over and over, again and again, he chanted the words, trying hard to hold Yibo into his arms who had been constantly struggling to get rid of his embrace.

Xiao Zhan was unable to figure out which crime did he commit to get all of these, as consequences. His pleads drove him to his knees and he knelt down on the floor, clutching tightly onto Yibo's legs, standing against the door.

With much effort, the younger one could finally push him away, for the last time and freed himself.

**_"Don't come after me. I don't want you to create a scene outside of the hotel. Let me breath in peace for sometime, okay? Stop hounding me. Don't call or text me because I am not going to receive your calls or reply to your messages"_ **

****

And the door opened. Xiao Zhan did not have the strength to look up. He kept staring at the floor and heard the familiar footsteps stepping outside and the door shut closed with a bang. Yibo was gone, leaving behind this confused, wounded soul, who did not even know what were his mistakes. Streaming tears cleansed his smooth cheeks. Few droplets remained, forgetting their way as the path was swept from beneath them, consequently blurring the Xiao Zhan's vision. The pain that was coming in waves, Xiao Zhan did not know what he did to deserve all these. Everything was amazing, very perfect. It felt so good since the morning and then in less than an hour, his world was broken apart.

He could not believe that whatever happened sometime ago was not his imagination but the bitter reality. It felt it impossible to accept the things that were said to him earlier. He felt abandoned. The tears made wet tracks down his face and continued dripping from his stubble, wobbling chin. His hands opened and closed, rhythmically clenching as if there could be some violent solution to his pain if only, he could find it.

Yibo hurriedly stepped outside of the elevator and walked through the reception area, barely keeping himself from colliding with the few number of the people walking around as he literally ran towards the exit of the hotel. Three bodyguards were already standing there, waiting to receive him. They immediately wrapped a black shawl around him, covering him up as soon as he reached them and together, they walked fast towards the parking lot.

Leaning against the window of the flight, it had already been an hour since Yibo was sitting with his eyes closed, his cap on his face, giving an impression of him drifted into a deep sleep when it was just an attempt of his, hiding from the outside world. The air hostess had come twice, asking him for food or drinks. He did not even move, let alone responding to her.

A lady was sitting beside him with a small child in her arms, who she had been trying to put to sleep for a while, by now. The small girl was one of a kind, continuously asking for her father and mewling. Though Yibo was least interested in whatever was going around him still the baby voice of the child and her mother were reaching his ears and he was quietly listening to them talking.

Yibo could guess, from their conversations, the lady's husband to be a soldier in the military and it was not very frequent that he could visit home. His small girl was now whimpering _'Daddy... daddy'_. Ruffling her hairs and patting her back, her mother was trying to calm her down. _'Mumma loves daddy too and mumma misses him too. But mumma is not crying, right? Our hero will be back soon, my honey'_

How much might they be missing the person who was not close to them, right at the moment! How much might he too be missing his family - this innocent toothy smile of his baby, the love of his wife! Was he too in an equal amount of pain? Just like Yibo was in now, just like his Zhan-ge was in now.

The teary butterscotch eyes of his beloved man flashed in Yibo's head and what he felt within him was hollowness. The pain was still an open wound to him, that he had been pushing to the back of his mind ever since he stepped out of that hotel. When he had turned his face from Xiao Zhan, the last sight of his that Yibo remembered was a picture of grief, loss and devastation. It was the face of the one whose inner core was suddenly forced to meet with a jolt and he did not know what to do.

Stifled sobs escaped Yibo's mouth and he gulped down repeatedly to hide the soreness of his heart and suppress his cries. As much as he tried to hold them in, the pain threatened to come out in the form of silent screams. The stinging sensation that was slammed against his chest was heaved with emotion – unthinkable, inexpressible love for the man... the one... for whose sake Yibo was ready to even burn down the whole of his own existence, too. Yibo regretted nothing. The only grief that he had was his beloved was hurt too. He was hurt beyond imagination, Yibo knew. He had knowingly stabbed his beloved to the heart... his life, his love must had felt so broken, so disheartened... Yibo knew he himself was responsible for all of that.

Did his beloved deserve an explanation? Did he deserve to know why Yibo left him? Offcourse not. If he had known, he would not had let him go. **But Yibo needed to escape. Yibo needed to set his beloved free, push him away from the vicinity of the toxic environment that Yibo was stuck in.** The elder person was subjected to so much cyber bullying and baseless rumors in the past. Yibo knew how difficult was it for him to face the continuous hatred from people and still stay strong, when he never did anything wrong. Yibo could not let the past repeat itself.

A lone tear traced down his cheek, and just like that, the floodgates opened. The cap placed above his face hid the tears streaming from the corner of his closed eyes, as he wept, releasing the sadness and sorrow that had been holding inside of him for all this time but still he did not make a sound.

 ** _"I am so sorry, baobao. I love you too"_** , muttered the tormented lover of Xiao Zhan, under his breath.

To be continued...


	33. Love Closed Tight in Jars

Yibo glanced at his reflection on the glass door before one of his bodyguards pushed it open for him as he quietly stepped into the office room. Walking past the pairs of eyes, fixed on him, he went straight to sit at the chair before the desk. The room was in reticent silence. Besides Yibo and his bodyguards, two other people were present, whose gazes were quietly observing every move of the young actor.

A minute passed and neither opened their mouths to speak. Everybody waited for someone else to initiate a conversation. Mei Xiu, Yibo’s manager, finally walked upto him and offered him a bottle of water. Yibo nodded slightly to her, accepting it.

Gulping down some water, he wiped his lips by the back of his palm and looked up straight at the woman, standing at a distance from them.

_“The offers that you were talking about… may I have the scripts?”_

Mei Xiu immediately picked up four bookbinding from above the table and handed them over to Yibo, speaking on behalf of the other woman present in the room. “Yes… we are awaiting your confirmation. Considering your schedule till the middle of next year, you can choose any two from these. We have gone through the stories and all are good. All of the four production houses agreed to pay you a large sum of money for the dramas. Now, its upto you, which roles do you think, you will be able to do justice to”

 _“Mn… and the duration?”_ , Yibo asked, while randomly flipping through the pages of the first script binding, eyeing the synopsis written at the start.

“They did not inform. We will know once you sign on the offers”, his manager let him know.

Yibo stayed silent and checked the other three scripts too, one by one. A while later, letting out a breath, he dropped the booklets on the table, barring one and handed it over to Mei Xiu. _“I will do this one. The rest three… cancel them, I am sorry”_

“Why?”

_“I am not interested in the stories”_

“But… they are good”

_“No”_

“Yibo… what’s wrong?”

_“Nothing”_

This was when the other woman in the room parted her lips to raise an objection. “Won’t you even consider reading them in detail, once?”

 _“No”_ , Yibo was adamant.

“Do you know what kind of stories are they? They will take no time to create a buzz and gain public attention”

**_“Earlier, you asked me, not to do anything that would rise people’s curiosity level. Now you are saying otherwise”_ **

“Earlier I was talking about your private life and not your profession”, Du Hua approached him and standing face to face, she shot him a glare. “Male lead-oriented dramas sell the best. Pick one from them and be done with it”

 _“No”_ , the actor remained unaffected.

“Wang Yibo”

_“No”_

“And what’s wrong with your phone. Either reply to them or shut it off, please”. Du Hua narrowed her eyes, clearly irritated over the constant vibration of the other person’s mobile. It was then that it occurred to Yibo that his device had been vibrating at a continuous, notifying him of incoming calls and messages, for four hours by now. He got almost habituated with its repeated vibrating effect and did not even realize that his phone had started to shudder again. He quickly shoved a hand inside his pocket and without pulling it out, he rejected the call.

“It’s distracting me. Answer the call”, Du Hua said.

 _“What to do with my phone is my concern”_ , Yibo replied coldly.

The two women exchanged glances. Mei Xiu held Yibo’s hand. “Yibo, I know you need rest … okay go back to your hotel now. Have a good sleep and we will talk about the drama scripts tomorrow, is that alright?”

Yibo turned to her, _“But that won’t alter my decision. I am not mentally prepared to do any movie or show adapted from BLs anymore”_

“They are not BLs”

_“I don’t want friendship or even the kind of relation that colleagues share at work. Find me a romcom. I am ready to be paired opposite to any heroine”_

Du Hua frowned at him. “Is this the kind of professionalism you will show at work?”

Yibo remained silent and she continued, “I promised your manager not to ask you about anything that happened today. I am keeping shut because I don’t want to build any pressure on you. I don’t want your concentration to be drifted from your work, now that you have finally decided to be careful about your career and your reputation in this industry, especially at a time when you are continuing to be at the peak of……”

 _“I give a damn to your bullshit concern about my career and my fucking reputation”_ , Yibo snapped at her. _“Let them find someone else for those roles. I am not the one”_

Mei Xiu interrupted their heated conversation, in the hope that the young actor might be a bit polite to her. “Why someone else, Yibo? When you know that they are willingly pay a lot, then why not you? You are a perfect choice for this role. Do you know the second story will be adapted from a very popular English novel? You are not interested in portraying a romantic relationship with an actor, that’s alright… I understand. But this story is the friendship between two office colleagues. Why are you reluctant to be a part of this?”

As expected, Yibo really did not argue further and looked down. _“JieJie… can I go home?”_

His manager held his arm and tenderly caressed his back twice. “Offcourse… but please let us know your decision, my dear. We need to answer them, isn’t it? They did not even decide who to choose for the role of the other male lead. Once you give your confirmation, the casting director can start looking for the one who can complement you well, onscreen”

Yibo lifted his head up to look at her. _“Really?”_

“Yes”, Du Hua answered on his Mei Xiu’s behalf. “So, we want you to agree to do this drama”

**_“But… hearing about all these, now I am surer than I am not the one the production house is looking for”_ **

Du Hua looked confused. “Why is that?”

**_“Because no one can be a match to my acting ability, other than Xiao Zhan. Considering looks, well it’s impossible for anyone to stand next to me and look as attractive as me, if not Xiao Zhan. You can convince the Production House to approach my lover for this role. I am sure my er-gege won’t deny if he knows that he will be paired opposite me”_ **

****

“WANG YIBO”, Du Hua clenched her fist and tried to sound as polite as possible. “Shut your non-sense. I am not joking”

_“Neither am I. Why do you think my love for him is a joke? You need me to earn money. Let Xiao Zhan be casted for the roles, I will do all the four shows and bring money for you”_

Mei Xiu caught Yibo by his elbow and tried to drag him away from there. “Yibo… let’s go. Let’s go please”

**_“Wait”_** , freeing his hand from his manager’s grip, he took some steps closer to Du Hua and whispered in a low voice. **_“Mei Xiu Jie must have told you that I left him. But I hope that you are not having this misconception that I did it because I wanted to make you happy. Instead… I left him because I don’t want the venom of your fang make him sick. I left him because a pure person like him should better stay away from the pollutants like you. I left him, that’s true… but I did not sell myself to you, in the process. You are not allowed to take decisions for me”_**

“Wang Yibo”, Du Hua muttered under her breath. “Don’t get involved with him. This is the last time I am telling you… you have decided to distance yourself from him, I am glad… and I expect you never to go back. If you do……”

Yibo cut her words, looking fearlessly straight into her eyes. **_“I won’t… as long as I am assured that you will keep yourself miles away from him. If I hear or see you causing any trouble to my man… the consequence won’t be in your favour”_**

 **“How dare you THREATEN ME?”** , Du Hua yelled, losing her temper. **“I will kill him… what will you do? What can you do?”**

Yibo slowly regained his calm composure. **_“Nothing much… The moment you touch him, I will kill myself… after making sure that you will be blamed for it”_**

Du Hua’s expressions changed. Her face was dark with a feeling of violent anger that she felt was difficult to control.

“Take him away now”, She said through gritted teeth.

Mei Xiu had to almost drag Yibo out of the room. She remained holding his hand firmly in hers and Yibo, like a lost child, followed her as they climbed down the staircase and walked into the parking lot. They exchanged no words in between. Mei Xiu literally pushed him against the car, indicating him to get in.

_“JieJie”_

“Go back to your hotel room, now”

_“JieJie”_

“I will not hear you, until you stop displaying your rage in front of her. Just listen to her please. Can you still not understand that only she is capable of keeping you as well as Xiao Zhan safe by hiding the truth about your relation? You don’t know how much money did she feed the owners of the fancams that recorded your clip from today morning. She really spent a lot and only then were the clips and posts, from the internet, got deleted. Please Yibo… just listen to her”

_“I will”_ , Yibo’s lips quivered a little.

“Then why did you deny the drama roles?”

_“Jie, he too had denied being paired opposite to any actor in an intimate kind of relationship. He too had got offers in male oriented drama scripts and every time he had rejected each one of them. I can’t accept these roles. I can’t hurt him anymore. He is already in much pain”_

Mei Xiu pitied the condition of the person standing in front, his mind lost somewhere as he stared blankly at her.

_“I told him JieJie that he is disgusting”_

“Yibo”, his manager lightly patted his shoulder and spoke in a soothing manner. “He will be fine”

_“How will he be fine? I told him that his presence irritates me. I told him that I hate being with him. I told him that he is……”_

Mei Xiu pulled him in a hug and patted his arms. “Yibo… go back to your hotel. Sleep today”

_“He was crying JieJie. He won’t be able to sleep tonight, I know”_

Mei Xiu did not know what to say, how to phrase her words that could provide a bit of comfort to the aching soul in her arms.

_“Jie, shall I call him once? Shall I tell him that… I… I…”_

“Don’t… Yibo”

Yibo pulled away from the hug. Not a single drop of tear escaped his eyes. His face felt devoid of any pain. His insides were torn in so many pieces that his whole body now felt numb to the gnawing. He did not cry. His voice just sounded low.

_“Mn… I just wished to tell him that I still love him, the same… always the same… but it’s okay, I understand”_

“Do you want me to talk to him Yibo?”

_“Why?”_

“I will get his news to you”

_“No need… I will be fine”_

“Yibo. I am sorry”, she said in a tenderly sad voice.

“Don’t be, Mei Xiu Jie. I know it’s not your fault… Anyway, I am tired. I will like to leave”. Without waiting for her response, he slid open the door of the car and sat inside. His bodyguards stepped forward to close the door.

Mei Xiu was still holding Yibo by his hand. “Good Night”

Yibo nodded.

The door shut closed in front of her and the car drove away.

************************

Standing alone in the parking lot, Mei Xiu glanced at her wrist watch. It was 10:15 pm. She kept brooding for a long time, unable to decide what to do. Brushing away her hesitations, she tapped on her mobile screen and scrolled down the contact list. Finding the one she was looking for; she pressed the phone to his ear.

_“Hello… Mei Xiu”_ , a voice on the other side of the call greeted her.

“Yes… hello… umm, I know it’s already night time and…”

_“No, you are absolutely not bothering me”_

Mei Xiu smiled. “Thank You… actually, I want to talk to you about something”

_“Yes… please say”_

“The movie ‘Spell Binding’ is to be released in two months”

_“I have heard”_

“Well… is there any possibility that the cast may get invited to your show for promotion?”

_“There is… but we have not thought about it, yet”_

“You are the one who usually take the decision about which guests are to be brought to the show, isn’t it?”, Mei Xiu said.

**_“That’s right… I am responsible for these activities. The idea sounds good. There is no doubt that if we invite the cast of that movie to our show then the ratings will hit the sky. I won’t deny the truth that I had not thought about this earlier but I was a bit busy lately so…”_ **

**“I understand Huang Laoshi. Actually, you know Wang Yibo’s upcoming drama too needs promotion so it will be a win-win situation for both of us if you could make this happen”** , Mei Xiu explained.

 _“Offcourse, I will try Mei Xiu”_ , the voice on the line laughed.

**“Please, I request you… please, make sure that even if the whole cast is not available for the promotion, the male lead must be present”**

**_“Yes, I know. He is the only one with the ability to attract audiences like bees to honey”_ **

“Thank you so much, Huang Laoshi”

_“It’s okay Mei Xiu. You are very dear to me. Any request of you can’t be ignored just like that”_

Mei Xiu smiled. “Also, you can’t deny the fact that my idea will earn you huge profits”

 _“Offcourse, I am not denying”_. They both laughed.

“Okay I hope you will try your best”, she said.

**_“I will definitely make arrangements and invite Xiao Zhan to an episode of ‘Day Day Up’ within the next few weeks, whenever he is free”_ **

**“And I have one more request… please make sure that Yibo attends this episode shoot. I mean our main motive is bringing them together in a single frame, right? So, if Yibo is not available for some reason, please postpone the shoot… Fix the date at a time only when both will be available together”**

_“I see… you sound like a fan girl of Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo”_

“Offcourse I am… their fan”, she chuckled.

_“Me too… the whole nation is their fan”_

They exchanged a few more words and Mei Xiu thanked him again and disconnected the call. A little glow of satisfaction spread across her face.

Everyone in the glamour world is not bad. The world comprises of both good and evil. If there are people who inflicts pain upon others, then there are certain people who keeps the ability to apply ointments to those wounds and make sure that they heal properly.

Yibo laid on _his_ back, gazing at the ceiling with brooding eyes. _He_ was lost in _his_ thoughts, staring without seeing. _His_ hands clutched the sheets tight and the insides of _his_ chest felt like he was on the verge of breaking apart, irreparably. _His_ mobile, lying on the side table, had been vibrating since who-knew-when. Yibo glanced at the wall clock one more time. 3:10 am. _His_ Zhan-ge had to wake up early for a morning flight but Yibo knew _his_ man did not sleep even for a moment. He was wide awake the whole night. Yibo kept waiting, hoping that the other person might fall asleep for some time.

What would they gain by having to do all this, forcefully, except unimaginable pain, Yibo did not know! The only thing _he_ knew was that this was what _he_ was expected of and this was what he must do.

Another hour passed by. Yibo finally got up to sit on the bed and picked up _his_ mobile that had stopped notifying him of new messages and calls since the last ten minutes.

Did Xiao Zhan finally drift off to sleep?

Yibo unlocked _his_ phone. 73 missed calls. 151 new WeChat messages. Unable to reach _his_ lover through text messages and phone calls, Xiao Zhan had sent him over 20 voice mails too.

Turning off the read receipt of _his_ app _he_ read the messages one by one. Desperate pleadings, Distressed requests; Xiao Zhan had been crying vehemently in all his voice messages. His tone was wrecked with sadness, cravings.

** “Won’t you come back to me, Yibo?” **

** “Let me see you. Shall I visit you?” **

** “What did I do? Atleast tell me that” **

**“Yibo, I hate you”** , he said once and the next moment he was begging miserably. **“I love you, don’t you know that?”**

** “Please don’t avoid my calls. Please talk to me once” **

_His_ eyes once again dripped with tears. The salty release of Yibo calmly flowed into _his_ mouth and _he_ tasted his own sorrow, the sorrow that _he_ had intentionally brought upon themselves. _He_ fell back into _his_ bed, continuing to scroll through the hundreds of messages that _his_ beloved had sent _him_ in the past few hours.

Pressing _his_ forehead against the pillows, Yibo’s whole body trembled. _His_ fingers itched to press the call option and talk to Xiao Zhan once. Just one more time _he_ wanted to tell _his_ beloved that everything would be fine and _he_ would return to him just as _he_ always had. _He_ wanted to tell him that _he_ was really sorry for hurting him and _he_ wanted to promise him that _he_ would never do the same, again. _He_ wanted to tell him that he was not disgusting. Instead, _his_ Zhan-ge was _his_ life. But Yibo could not… _he_ could not call him and talk to him, no matter how much _he_ wanted to.

In the last voice clip that Yibo opened, _he_ could literally hear Xiao Zhan’s uncontrolled heavy sobs, pleading _him_ to reply. Yibo felt utterly helpless, leaden and dull. _He_ turned on _his_ side and faced the wall, _his_ fists closed so tight _he_ could feel the sweat trapped inside them.

************************

Xiao Zhan stared unblinkingly at his phone screen. Yibo could be seen online. But his messages were sitting in their inbox, unread. It did not take much investment of his intelligence to know that his lover had intentionally turned off his read-receipt and was now reading his messages. It was soon going to be morning and Xiao Zhan knew neither of them slept that night. He knew it was aching him, he was sad but he was very well aware of Yibo’s condition too. He had no doubt on Yibo or _his_ love for him. He knew Yibo wanted him without a pause, without a condition. The only thing that had hurt him was that his lover did not trust him enough to share with him _his_ worries and let him know what went wrong because of which _he_ took such a drastic decision, all of a sudden.

Yibo was younger to him. A whole of six years. At the age of 31, Xiao Zhan often talked stupid, acted stupid and Yibo had always handled him with patience and care. Now that Yibo was struggling within himself, all alone, against certain causes, unknown to Xiao Zhan, wasn’t this the time his beloved would actually take over the role of being the matured, elder one in their relationship? Xiao Zhan knew he had to keep his calm and be a little bit more understanding and soothe Yibo and assure him that they could together solve whatever issue had risen.

There was no point of getting angry, holding grudge against someone, Xiao Zhan knew, he could not live without. But how to get in touch with Yibo? How to talk to him if his lover kept on ignoring his calls and refuse to reply to his messages?

They were public figures, always subjected to scrutiny cameras. It was nearly impossible for him to go and visit Yibo on-set, unplanned. He just needed to talk to Yibo once and he was sure he could convince _him_ to meet him, in private. He was sure that they needed one face-to-face talk and Yibo would spill out whatever was there in his heart. But that one meet… how would Xiao Zhan make that happen?

Feeling helpless, he just gave way to his enormity of grief again. Bringing his palms closed to his face, he sobbed into his hands and the tears dripped between his fingers, raining down into his pillows.

He cried until no more tears came, but still the emptiness and sorrow remained. Sleep overtook him as the first rays of the sunlight peeped through the drawn blinds, casting thin golden stripes across his angelic face.

************************

Waking up could be really harsh, especially if the dreams were bizarre and realization of the reality being even more pathetic hit one’s mind as soon as he flickered his eyes open. Yibo woke up to the beaming sunlight through the white curtains and it did not take him long to realize that he was late. He was to wake up earlier but now he was late. He checked his mobile and there were only two messages from his manager, asking him to arrive on set. Everybody was waiting for him.

He was too late, he knew. His co-stars had arrived and might had probably started shooting but the usual punctual Yibo, after staying up till 5 in the morning, was late. He had to hurriedly get ready for the day but his still crouched figure remained unmoved. There was nothing left, nobody left, no reason to move, he felt.

At this rate, let alone shooting and leading a normal life, it would not take him long to slip into the pit of depression.

Sitting inside the vanity fan, Yibo was staring at his reflection in the mirror. A sudden unexpected rain had put a pause to their shooting and all of them were now waiting for the downpour to finally cease.

The next sequence that they were about to shoot had male lead’s father falling off a cliff when he had to arrive and hold his hand and bring him up. In the process he would get shot by the antagonist and fall off the cliff himself. The script page that had the scene, described in detail, was lying on his lap and Yibo’s mind was all blank. There was no similarity in between the scene that he was about to shoot and the scene that _They_ had shot during those times in 2018. Yet Yibo could not help reminiscing their **‘Chen-Qing-Ling’**. He could not help remembering his Zhan-ge. He could not just stop thinking about his beloved with every breath that he breathed in.

**It had been around a week** ; _he_ had not seen him or heard his voice… nothing at all. Every thing was empty. Yibo was hoping that Xiao Zhan would stop texting him, be angry with him but his man was one of a kind - patience never left his side, Yibo knew but this time too how could he be so tolerant? Did not he feel tired? Yibo had insulted him so much, hurt him so much, yet every single day he would keep on sending him uncountable messages, resolutely. He talked about his schedules, about his day, what he ate, what he did. Yibo never replied to him, yet he never stopped.

Yibo glanced at the clock again. He did not know what to do to kill time. Should he ask his makeup team to come and do his makeup? But they did not know when would the rain stop. He was already fully dressed. Doing the final touch up would hardly take fifteen minutes. Why would they come to do his makeup now?

His mobile beeped twice. He checked his inbox and there were two unread messages. Yibo sighed. He could have put his phone on silent mode if he genuinely wanted to avoid seeing the other one’s messages but offcourse he did not wish to do that. Being in touch with his beloved, however it might be, gave him an unknown assurance that he needed. It informed him that his Zhan-ge woke up, got ready for his shoots, had his food on time – all these gave him the confirmation that his man was doing fine.

Yibo read the messages: **“ Baby… Good afternoon. Had your lunch?”**

**“ Can we talk tonight? 5 minutes?”**

**“ 2 minutes? I need to hear your voice”**

Yibo let out a breath. His fingers almost went to type a reply but he restrained himself. _“Why are you doing this baobao? Let go of me. Please be safe, be healthy. The people around me won’t let you be at peace if you continue to engage yourself into me. You can get many more ‘Wang Yibo’ in your life but your parents will not have another ZhanZhan. This world will not get another ‘Xiao Zhan’”_ , Yibo’s mind supplied.

**“ Yibo… are you there? I miss you. Atleast turn your read receipt on. I will be happy to know that you are reading my messages”**

**“ Yibo… give me a reply damn it. You are making me suffer quite a lot. You cannot really understand what kind of anxiousness I am going through, without you”**

“What happened Yibo?”, Mei Xiu said as she walked towards him to sit on the chair beside.

 _“Nothing”_ , Yibo replied and tried to force a stifle smile.

“I know you are tired and getting bored. Just wait a little while. The papers are ready. They will arrive soon”, she assured.

Yibo leaned back against the seat and closed his eyes. _“Its okay. I can wait. Its not like I have got anything else to do. I can wait for some more time”_

Du Hua pushed through the door and stormed into the office where the former two people were already sitting. She was as usual hyper, almost at the edge of losing her patience and bursting out.

“Ridiculous. Highly ridiculous”, she cursed under her breath.

“What’s wrong?”, Mei Xiu asked.

“They will be dealing with one of the highest paid actors in this industry. Can’t they be a bit more punctual and arrive on time?”

“Actually, the traffic congestion today is really bad”

“Yibo has been waiting here for thirty minutes. You send him home”, Du Hua said. “Yes… Yibo you go back. Once they arrive, I will ask them to come again tomorrow. Why will Wang Yibo have to wait for them? They are fortunate that Yibo agreed to work…”

 _“Oh, stop it”_ , Yibo interrupted her, irritated. _“Do you take fun in harassing people?”_

Du Hua glared at him. _“Do you take fun in disagreeing with me over every other topic?”_

Yibo glowered back at her. _“I have no problem waiting for another half an hour”_

“But I have… you shall not wait any longer and that is final... MEI XIU, WILL YOU KEEP YOU MOBILE SHUT FOR A WHILE?”, Du Hua yelled at his manager.

 _“Stop shouting at her”_ , Yibo snapped back at Du Hua.

Mei Xiu rejected the incoming call and held Yibo’s hand. “Keep quiet. Let’s go home”

_“Why will we?”_

“The producer will be late. We will meet them tomorrow”

_“Shall I not sign for the show?”_

“You will… but not today”, Du Hua said.

 _“I did not ask you”_ , Yibo replied with a scowl on his face.

Mei Xiu had to literally drag him out of the office. Yibo did not raise another objection, till they reached downstairs. Her phone rang once again. Yibo looked at her.

_“Who is calling you?”_

Taking a glance at the screen, she looked round her. Yibo’s bodyguards were standing behind. She addressed them, “Can you please wait at the parking area? We will arrive in a few minutes… in fifteen minutes, is that alright?”

The bodyguards nodded and left. Yibo looked confused. _“What happened?”_

Ignoring his question, Mei Xiu dragged him towards the staircase and started climbing up.

 _“Where are we going? Let’s take the elevator? Why are we straining our legs?”_ , he asked again.

“Because no one uses the staircase and there is no CCTV around the Ladies’ toilet on the second floor”, Mei Xiu responded.

_“What? … Ladies’ toilet? Lad… Ladies’…? What will I do there?”_

“You will pee… now keep quiet”

Yibo giggled softly and let himself be dragged. 

Once they were standing in front of the toilet, Mei Xiu left his hand and opened the door to check in.

 _“What are you doing?”_ , Yibo whispered.

“Come, come”, his manager dragged him inside.

_“I can walk by my own JieJie. What happened?”_

Stepping inside, Yibo literally started to panic. _“JieJie… what if someone comes? They will call the police. Ladies may think that I am here to…”_

“Shut up for a while”. She pulled out a mobile from inside her handbag and dialed a number. Pressing the phone to her ear, she hummed a few times and whispered to the person on the line, “You have only ten minutes and I won’t do this for you daily, is that clear?”

 _“Who are you talking to?”_ , Yibo asked.

Mei Xiu shifted her gaze towards him, “Yibo… this is the first and the last time I am doing it. I had to buy a new phone for all of this non-sense and that too only because Du Hua keeps a record of whoever you are talking to on your own phone”

 _“Du Hua is spying on me?”_ , Yibo widened his eyes.

“I will explain to you later”, she handed the phone over to him. “Finish with this fast… in ten minutes. I am waiting outside”

_“Who is it?”_

Mei Xiu did not respond to him and hastily went outside, without delay. Yibo glanced at the unknown number on the mobile screen and held it beside his ear.

**_“Hello?”_ **

**“Once I get my hands on you, Wang Yibo… I swear, I will push you off the roof and then jump down myself… I will kill you, bastard”** , a familiar voice on the line shouted at him.

To be continued…


	34. Love is Irrevocable

_“Who is it?”  
_

Mei Xiu did not respond to him and hastily went outside, without delay. Yibo glanced at the unknown number on the mobile screen and held it beside his ear.

**_“Hello?”_ **

**“Once I get my hands on you, Wang Yibo… I swear, I will push you off the roof and then jump down myself… I will kill you, bastard”** , a familiar voice on the line shouted at him.

For a moment, Yibo was too stunned to say anything. He stood speechless holding onto the phone as the voice on the line once again addressed him – this time in a tone, calmer than earlier.

**“Listen… enough is enough. It has been two weeks and you did not even bother to check on me, whether I am alive or dead. Oh right, why will you? I am bad; I am disgusting. I hound you; I irritate you……”**

Yibo’s soul fell silent. He felt the chill in his blood that made him shiver, part of his shivering was because of an inexplainable woe, the remaining was because Yibo suddenly felt alive. The synapses of his brain that had come to a standstill was triggered by this voice, his favourite sound in the world.

This phone call was so sudden, so unexpected. With his one hand Yibo was holding the mobile while his other slender arm hanging down along the side of his body trembled a little, unconsciously.

That one person in the world who had the right to be bossy around _him_ , shout at _him_ , was right now on the line, doing what he was meant to do, what he had always been doing – expressing love, care, concern for _him_ without saying them direct at _his_ face. Yibo could recognize in a heartbeat, Xiao Zhan’s language of love - this was _his_ beloved’s way of conveying his attachment.

Yibo’s heart pounded faster. All of _his_ senses were alerted at once and _his_ lips parted, desiring to call out _his_ beloved **_“Zhan-ge”_**. _He_ was almost… almost… going to lose every bit of _his_ self-control and if _he_ could, _he_ would have jumped into the other person’s awaiting arms. But _he_ did not. Yibo’s voice died down in _his_ throat before they could leave _his_ mouth.

**“Do you have any shame, Bo? You escaped just like that… without even telling me the reason. Are you a human, Wang Yibo?”**

Yibo stayed quiet. _He_ wanted to say so many things but he actually spoke nothing. Yibo was bad at talking, bad at expressing, especially at times like this when _he_ wanted to speak a lot but _he_ knew _he_ should not and so _he_ did not and _he_ could think of no way to make the other person understand that Love was too weak a word to express what Yibo felt for Xiao Zhan. 

**“Will you at least speak a line, for God’s sake, damn it, Yibo… you are going to die in my hands I am telling you”**. Yibo’s beloved muttered through clenched teeth.

The younger man once again desired to call out **_“Zhan-ge”_** and once again _he_ refrained himself from doing so. This heartache of being unable to say a thing, all that _he_ was wanting to say – Yibo would describe it like an insatiable fire that burnt all the oxygen in _him_ body leaving _him_ listless and empty. _He_ quietly kept listening.

Xiao Zhan waited for some seconds and not getting any reply from the other side, he let out a frustrated groan. **“Wang Yibo…”**

**_“Why are you calling?”_**. Ending _his_ stunned calm and gathering _his_ dissipated fake coldness, Yibo finally spoke.

**“What?... I can’t believe you still have the audacity to ask me why am I calling you?”**

**_“……”_ **

**“Because of you, this blunder is created. I have been wandering like a madman for over two days, trying to get Mei Xiu’s contact number and then convincing her to get me to you and you are asking me why am I calling?”**

Yibo just sighed in response.

**“Open that damn mouth of yours and say something. When are we going to meet?”**

**_‘Now, right now… I wish to see you’_** , Yibo wanted to say but _he_ did not. **_“Listen Xiao Zhan, don’t act stupid. You are not a child who needed to be reminded every now and then what is and isn’t to be done”_** , Yibo replied coldly.

 **“You listen to me first”** , Xiao Zhan argued back. **“We were in this mess together and we still are. Come back and take my responsibility”** , gritting his teeth, Xiao Zhan expressed his rage and resentment.

It was not that Yibo had not expected Xiao Zhan to try to get in touch with _him_ by some other means since _he_ had avoided him for the whole of the previous two weeks, but right at this moment inside a ladies’ toilet, _his_ manager would be handing over a phone to _him_ and Xiao Zhan would be shouting at _him_ from the other side of the call – this was truly unanticipated.

**_“We can’t meet”_ **

**_“Can’t?”_ **

**_“I mean won’t. I am not wanting to see you again”_ **

**“Listen I am not asking you what you are willing to do or not. Where are you now?”** , Xiao Zhan was clearly much displeased.

**_“……”_ **

**“You don’t want to answer. Okay, I am calling Du Hua. She will tell me about yo……”**

**_“NO… I am at the office”_** , Yibo was dismayed and replied in a hurry.

**“Changsha?”**

**_“……”_ **

**“You will not reply? Fine. I will call……”**

**_“Yes Changsha…… idiot”_** , Yibo cursed in a low voice.

**“I heard you Yibo”**

**_“Good for you”_ **

****

Five seconds of pause followed and Yibo waited for Xiao Zhan to speak. _He_ could have switched off the mobile to avoid taking the conversation further. _He_ even thought about doing it but offcourse _he_ could not even bring himself up to hang the call, let alone turning off the phone.

Xiao Zhan spoke again. **“Shall I come?”**

**_“NO”_ **

**“Why not?”**

**_“Didn’t I say I don’t want to see you?”_ **

**“Who cares?”**

**_“Don’t come”_ **

**“There is an early morning flight tomorrow… at 6:20 am”**

**_“I said No”_ **

**“Listen to me Yibo… no body will know, I promise. I will make sure no body except you and me will ever know that…”**

**_“I am staying at a hotel”_ **

**“So what? I can manage. I will get my bodyguard sign on the visitor’s register. Nothing will happen”** , Xiao Zhan tried hard to convince the other person

 ** _“You don’t understand”_** , Yibo was starting to panic. **_“This is a VIP hotel. It’s not easy breach the security and you think nobody will recognize The Xiao Zhan of China?”_**

**“You brat… you are an absolute shit… What shall I do now, tell me? Then let’s meet somewhere else… what about my home? Can you travel to Chongqing?”**

**_“NO… NO…”_** , holding the phone, Yibo rushed out of the toilet and looked for _his_ manager. Mei Xiu was standing outside waiting for _him_. _He_ held her hand and pulled her inside the toilet… signalling her, trying to explain that Xiao Zhan wanted to see _him_.

Mei Xiu snatched away the mobile from _him_ and turned on the speaker mode.

“Xiao Zhan?”

Xiao Zhan let out a breath and _his_ voice immediately changed to the softer and calmer tone as he spoke in the most respectable manner. **“Thank you so much for your help, Mei Xiu Jie”**

Amidst all the tension, heartbreak and argument, Yibo could not help pondering upon Xiao Zhan’s sudden change of tone, that _he_ assumed to be _his_ beloved’s dual personality disorder. The one, gritting his teeth, shouting and cursing Yibo, was now a proper, well- mannered gentleman, while he was talking to somebody who was not Wang Yibo.

“Yeah… but you can’t come”, she sounded nervous.

**“You know I will and nobody can stop me”**

**_“No… please”_** , Yibo interrupted while pleading to him.

**“I will take tomorrow’s morning flight and…”**

Yibo and Mei Xiu exchanged glances. Yibo’s bodyguards would be present outside of the hotel where _he_ was staying. If Xiao Zhan came, the news will take no time to reach Du Hua even before he would reach Yibo’s door. 

Mei Xiu once again attempted to explain, “See, you should not let anybody know and for safety purposes, I think…”

**“You both think whatever you have to think. I am coming”**

“NO”; **_“NOO”_** , Mei Xiu and Yibo literally screamed in unison. Yibo looked helplessly at _his_ manager, unable to figure out what to do.

Mei Xiu elbowed _him_ , asking _him_ to somehow stop the other person from coming tomorrow. They could later figure out how to sort the mess in a sane calm mind.

Yibo took the phone from her hand and cleared _his_ throat. **_“Xiao Zhan… if you are anyway thinking that I am joking around then let me tell you in a loud and clear way that you truly are disgusting. The things that you are doing right now… do you even realize what could be the consequences? For your nonsensical desires, I am not willing to put my career at risk. Just don’t, don’t call me again. You are very bothersome. I hate you”_**

****

Xiao Zhan stayed silent for a long moment. The other two people on this side of the call too remained quiet, anxiously waiting for him to speak again.

Yibo’s head swam with half-formed regret. _He_ could have scratched the _‘disgusting’_ , _‘bothersome’_ and _‘hate you’_ part and said something else. Why did _he_ have to hurt _his_ Zhan-ge like this? That man was being so stubborn and it was really necessary for Yibo to keep him from coming over here, willing stepping into the devil’s den, yet the younger man knew that _his_ choice of words was very impertinent.

_He_ heard Xiao Zhan again. **“Will it really be a problem? I don’t want to put you into risks”** , his voice sounded dull, low and Yibo thought that _his_ chest would burst from the other person’s anguish.

“Then… don’t come here please. Its not the right time”, Mei Xiu said and Xiao Zhan’s humming in a toned-down voice convinced the other two people that he might back off from being as adamant as before. 

**“When will it be the right time for us, then?”** , he asked.

The younger one felt that _his_ melancholy mood hung over him like a black cloud, raining _his_ beloved’s sorrow down on _him_ , drenching _him_ in pain.

“Yibo will tell you later”, Mei Xiu said while looking the younger man, trying to tell _him_ through her eyes that this was the only way to handle the situation and Yibo too should strive to cooperate.

**“But… he…”** , Xiao Zhan paused for a moment. **“He does not talk with me. He never replies to my messages. Tell him to receive my calls. He expects me to listen to him, then shouldn’t he too do the same?”**

Yibo heard Xiao Zhan’s voice cracking at the end of the sentence. He let out a fake cough, trying to stabilize his tone but the despair in his heart, with which he was speaking the words, could not be hidden from Yibo.

**“Tell him to reply to my messages. If he does not then I too won’t do as he says”**

Mei Xiu was done with this man, head over heels in love with his lover, behaving like a teenager, determined to have just one glimpse of the apple of his eyes, by hook or by crook.

“Okay I am telling him…”, she had to agree to him. Yibo was going to interrupt. Mei Xiu held him by _his_ hand and shook her head.

“He will call you back”, she addressed the elder man on the line. Yibo frowned, pitying their condition.

How would Xiao Zhan move on in life, like this? It had been less than even half a month and _his_ beloved already refused to try living on his own, without seeing his lover. Yibo was really struggling hard to push him away but _his_ Zhan-ge was striving harder to make his way back.

**“Umm. Then tell him to promise me, right now, that he will listen to whatever I have to say”**

**_“Ok”_** , Yibo agreed to him; _his_ voice low, scarcely audible.

**“Promise me”**

**_“You are 31 years old, ge… I-I mean Xiao Zhan”_ **

**“Yes, you better address me with respect… nasty little kid”**

Yibo let out a frustrated groan.

**“Promise me, Bo”**

**_“I promise”_ **

**“Hmm… Although I am refusing to admit but I am very well aware that I cause you much trouble because of which you are so reluctant to see me”,** Xiao Zhan chuckled sadly to himself.

Yibo bit _his_ lip tightly in an attempt to hide any sound that wanted to escape from _his_ mouth; _his_ heart sank. His Zhan-ge was not troublesome. Yibo loved him. _He_ wanted to say that out loud… loud enough for the other one to hear and stop being sad. Yibo was behaving very rude and cold. _He_ knew _he_ was hurting Xiao Zhan just a bit too much for him to start thinking himself to be a pain in Yibo’s life. How desperately must had he tried to talk to _him_ just once to demand for an explanation and all that Yibo was capable of doing was intentionally causing pain to the one who resided right in _his_ heart.

**“Bo-di”**

Yibo involuntarily got alerted by _his_ name being called.

 ** _“What?”_** , _he_ tried to sound unaffected.

**“My people are looking for me. I have to get back to work”**

**_“Mn”_ **

“ **Today I will be staying till mid-night at the set… shooting for a rain sequence and just as you know, I hate these artificial rains… thinking about it makes me shiver. The last time I got a sore throat from it and this time to add to my bad luck, I even forgot to bring a thick jacket with me”** , Xiao Zhan informed.

 ** _“Why?”_** , Yibo could not help blurting out.

 **“You were not there to remind me”** , _his_ beloved whispered in a distant, sad voice.

Yibo was going to curse him and ask him to take medicines if he felt unwell after the shoot but _he_ replied with just a **_“Mn”_**.

Xiao Zhan went silent for a moment, perhaps giving his lover some time to ask him something in return. Yibo wanted to tell him, out of habit, to have his dinner on time since he was working late, to change with his wet clothes as soon as possible and to be careful of his contact lenses in rain but _he_ said nothing.

**“Bo-di”,**

**_“What?”_ **

**“I really have to go now. My shot is ready”**

**_“Oh”_ **

**“But I will call you when I am free. You don’t call me okay. My phone will be in my bag”**

**_“Ok”_ **

**“And… when I call you, you will talk to me, right?”** , Xiao Zhan was still unsure about it and that was evident from his voice when it shook.

 ** _“Mn”_** , was all that the younger person could say in response to his beloved’s queries, instead of **_‘I will wait for you calls too, Zhan-ge’_** that _he_ actually wished to admit.

**“Okay… I am going. Well… Mei Xiu Jie, thanks a lot”**

Mei Xiu, standing beside Yibo, quietly listening to their conversations, was flabbergasted and she only nodded a little. “That’s alright”

Just when Yibo thought that Xiao Zhan would disconnect the call, the elder’s voice once again called for _him_.

**“Yibo?”**

**_“Mn”_** , Yibo almost immediately responded.

**“About what you said earlier… cut that _‘disgusting’_ and _‘bothersome’_ parts, please. It hurts me, you know. I am very well aware that you are not intending to bring me pain yet you are causing my mind and emotions to ache a little too much”**. His voice was soft, almost fragile, as if his heart would break any minute. Perhaps he felt really broken and tired.

 ** _“……”_** , Yibo’s remained quiet. _His_ heartache was like a wolf eating at _his_ chest, tearing its way to _his_ trembling heart and would leave nothing but scraps behind it.

 **“And…”** , Xiao Zhan once again spoke, **“about the _‘hate you’_ part…”**, he let out an audible deep sigh and continued, **“I know what’s there in your mind… but I don’t know why you are unable to say to me what you really wish to say”**

**_“……”_ **

**“Don’t talk to me like this. Don’t tell me _‘I hate you’_ because I know you don’t. But if you are determined to keep on lying, then do it. I can’t stop you, offcourse, but that won’t change what I feel for you”**

Yibo felt as though _his_ body was being gripped in an ice-cold vice. _He_ made a failed attempt to put on a tough exterior and convince _his_ beloved that _he_ was no more bothered by the other person’s sorrowful voice. **_“I don’t know what you are…”_**

 **“sssshhhh…”** , Xiao Zhan interrupted _him_. **“… Let me finish first. In response to your _‘I hate you’_ , I just want to let you know that…… I love you too, Bo… as much as you love me”**

And the call was disconnected.

  
The young man’s eyes shifted to the side to look at _his_ manager and became glazed with a glassy layer of tears. As _he_ blinked, they dripped from _his_ eyelids and slid down _his_ cheeks. _His_ lower lip quivered as words slowly made their way out of _his_ mouth.

 ** _“He needs me. Shall I go to him?”_**. _He_ began. **_“Du Hua will never know. I will be careful. I promise. Shall I go and see him just once, please?”_**

“Yibo…”, Mei Xiu hugged _him_ tight as _he_ sobbed in between _his_ palms. “I feel so sorry for having to tell you this every time but… Yibo… don’t meet him, please”

 ** _“JieJie… when he had not reciprocated my feelings for him, in the past, even then I had not stopped loving him. I had never given up on him. I was clinging onto something non-existent in between us. Now when I know he is finally there, waiting for me, with arms widely spread, it’s difficult to force myself to push him away. I don’t want to do it anymore”_** , came the response in a voice engulfed in the tremendous mental suffering.

Changing side on bed, Yibo adjusted the blanket over his body to keep himself warm, hoping that he would fall asleep like this. It did not help. He had the urge to check his phone… for the umpteenth time to make sure it was not put on silent mode. The volume of his ringtone was already set to maximum, yet he felt nervous thinking that Xiao Zhan would call him and if he dozed off, he might not be able to receive his beloved.

His lock screen displayed the time - 5 am in the morning. Yibo had not shut his eyelids throughout the night, for no good reason.

**“He does not talk to me”** , the cracking voice of Xiao Zhan rang in Yibo’s ears again and again and each time his heart sank into the gloomy depths of sadness. He knew his Zhan-ge was willing to talk to him and he was impatiently waiting for that conversation which was yet to begin.

Late night shoot would mean - 2 am… 3 am… 3:30 am… but it was now early morning. The sun had risen and his beloved did not send him even a text message. Yibo was growing restive. 

Ignoring somebody, forcing oneself to forget something – they were not the means to erase the existence of feelings inside one’s heart. Societal pressure, people’s judgemental mentality could make Yibo stop seeing the one he loved with all his heart, for a while but how could he put an end to his habit of concerning for his Zhan-ge.

The cold nights, these days, evoked the onset of winters and Xiao Zhan’s shooting team had to shoot a rain scene in the middle of the night. He knew Xiao Zhan easily caught cold and on top of that he said he did not take his jacket on set.

**_‘How ridiculous!’_** , Yibo muttered and typed a message to his manager. _‘ JieJie! Zhan-ge did not call me. I am worried’_

There came no reply from the other side. Half of the nation was sleeping and Yibo was there staying awake with eyes wide open, anxiously looking over their old conversations in their WeChat inbox, from time to time.

Should he call Xiao Zhan, once? What would happen even if he called? No-one would eat him up. He would just ask his beloved if he had returned home or not and that was it. He would hang up the call, after that.

Or... should he send him a message? Even if Xiao Zhan asked him later whether he was worried about him, Yibo would deny… as simple as it. What was the big deal about it?

Thinking about what to do, for many more minutes, he finally decided to type a message. Xiao Zhan’s last seen showed the time from five hours earlier.

Yibo quickly moved his thumb over the keyboard. **_‘ I will be busy from 9 am onwards. Don’t call after that. If you want to say something, tell me now’_**. He would be working from the afternoon and was free the whole morning. Yet the tensed lover of Xiao Zhan lied.

The message remained _‘Delivered’_ but unread.

Half an hour passed by.

He closed his messaging apps, locked his phone and fell back on the bed.

 ** _“Wang Yibo, oh Wang Yibo. If your baobao starts to really hate you and never contact you again… trust me you will die”_** , he mumbled to himself in a quiet, lifeless voice.

Yibo eyes were gradually starting to close. He was dozing off a little, still making sure to check his mobile in between. Minutes later, clutching onto the device, he fell asleep, exhausted.

************************

This was not anymore unusual for either of them to go to sleep absurdly late at night… rather early in the morning and then sleep till the middle of the day. The once very punctual and hardworking actors – _‘Wang Yibo’_ and _‘Xiao Zhan’_ were now frequently late at work, making their colleagues wonder if they were physically unwell or not.

Whenever anyone would ask them about the same, one would put on a straight face and bow down to apologize; the other would jokingly brush away the topic, saying, “The proof that I am getting old and need more sleep”

Had anyone tried to know the truth, they would have found out that days after days the two ridiculously and stupidly-in-love people stayed awake together, the whole of the night – one would keep on sending messages, tirelessly make unanswered phone calls and the other one would lay himself on his bed and silently read those messages, without ever replying to any of them.

Today was no irregularity, except that after a long… long time, they were supposed to talk. They were supposed to have a conversation over phone that Xiao Zhan had requested for and he himself did not show up, leaving the younger man in a peevish, fretful, grumpy, impatient and restless mood, at first… that gradually turned into his genuine worry.

Yibo woke up to the beeps of his mobile. It notified him of an incoming new email. He ignored and pulled the blanket over his eyes, blocking the bright sunrays that were penetrating through the curtains of the room. His mobile beeped again and by the tune, the owner of the phone at once recognized it to be a WeChat notification. Something flashed his mind and with half opened eyelids, he grabbed the device from beside his pillow.

The lock screen read: 1 New email; 1 New message

Ignoring his email, he tapped on his Wechat. To his great disappointment, there was an unread message from his manager.

_‘ He must be busy or too tired to talk. You relax and go to sleep’_

__

Yibo’s chest ached. He checked Xiao Zhan’s inbox again. Neither did the elder person come online to read his message, nor was there any missed call from him. This was really strange. Yibo fluttered his eyes open and sat up on his bed.

 ** _“What happened to you Zhan-ge? I hope you are well, my love”_** , he sighed and decided to check on his newly arrived emails.

There was a group mail from _‘Day Day Up’_ management. All the four hosts were sent their scripts and activities details for the next episode shoot. Yibo almost had forgotten that he would have to fly to Beijing for ‘DDU’ shoot, three days later. He downloaded his script and checked on the topics, in a hurry.

His script seemed unusually lengthy, this time. He was given many more lines, in the form of questions, that were to be asked to the guests. Was Yibo going to interview somebody? This was surprising because he was normally the one to dance and take part in entertaining activities more than talking. The speaking job was for the other hosts. Yibo did not even remember if he was ever asked to prepare so much for this show, and that too within a short span of three days.

Who was he going to interview?

He read the questions one by one. The guests would be speaking about their upcoming movie _“Spell Binding”._

_Spell Binding?_

_Spell Binding?_

What? Where the hell was this movie coming from? And that too in their show?

Wang Han and Da Zhangwei were usually the people to deliver the introductory speeches. Yibo, out of sheer curiosity, decided to check on Wang Han’s introductory lines too, to know why was he required to do so much talking this time and that too including interviewing of the guests who were related to the movie _“Spell Binding”_.

The first few lines of greeting fans and thanking workers were as usual. Yibo’s eyes were hurriedly checking the rest of the lines from Wang Han’s script copy.

** “…… So, the time has come when we will be inviting our two brilliant guests from the much-anticipated movie _‘Spell Binding’_ , onstage. Its our great delight to have them with us today. **

** Let’s put our hands together and welcome the very gorgeous and stunning Yang Mi and the unparalleled male beauty of the nation Xiao Zhan……” **

****

Yibo could read no-more. His eyes stayed frozen on the two words, on that one name. Words left him and his heart fell silent.

After a long moment, when he finally parted his lips to speak, he realized there was nobody else in the room to ask or listen to him, what was going on in his mind. He checked the guests’ information details once again to be sure about it and letting out a huge sigh, Yibo mumbled to himself.

**_“Ge. It’s you?”_ **

****

To be continued…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another angstyyyy chapter😢 But I promise the next one to be better.  
> Chapter 35 Promo: Is Xiao Zhan really going to push Yibo off the roof, the next time they meet? Keep reading to know what happens next😒


	35. Wildly in Love With You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pardon the grammatical or spelling errors (if any). This chapter is not thoroughly checked.

_“He is not talking with me. What shall I do?”_

The utterly depressed voice on the call was almost on the verge on crying. Mei Xiu, by now, did not know any other way of providing sympathy and consolation to the achy spirit of the man on the line. She could only sigh in response.

_“JieJie… even our ‘Day Day Up’ shoot got postponed. When I asked the management team about it, they told me that gege had personally requested for a change of date. He must be so unwilling to see me”_

“Wang Yibo…”

_“I know he wants to stay away from me. He had promised to call but he never did. Not even one message of his showed up in my inbox ever since. It has been over a week. What am I supposed to do now?”_

She drew in a breath and tried to phrase words in a proper manner that could calm the other person down.

“Yibo, he might be ill. He might be busy”

_“No, he is not ill. I saw his airport pictures. He goes to work daily. Yesterday night he even attended a party. He is not busy. He prefers going to ceremonies over wasting his time on me. He loves me no more”_

What could Mei Xiu say in response? Under the pressure of maintaining reputation and keep Yibo from getting tangled into scandals, she had to ask him to get away from the life where his soul was stuck in but she had never thought that the young man would start suffering like this.

She understood that his life was a mess. His heart was an unorganized chaos. The only thing that he did throughout the day, for himself, was staring into his mobile and waiting endlessly for something. Mei Xiu had secretly peeked into his phone screen a few times and all that she had always noticed was Yibo’s particular someone’s WeChat inbox. Yibo had even changed the contact name and it was set to just a _Rabbit_ emoticon. It did not require much investment of intelligence to know who that was.

Mei Xiu understood Yibo, she pitied him and she despised herself for unable to do a thing for him. She had known Yibo for five years by now and she had grown so much attached to this quiet, calm natured person. She had seen him growing from a boy into a man. How could Du Hua not see it? She had been knowing Yibo for twelve years. How could she not see his silent painful sufferings?

Xiao Zhan was the only name Yibo had ever desired for, in his life. His _‘Chen-Qing-Ling’_ shooting days had molded him into a person that he himself did not know he could become. The whole of his life had started to revolve around that one man, that one co-star of him.

Societal pressure could forcefully pull him away from that one person, his mind was clutching onto with all his might but how could anyone rip his heart out that was residing inside Xiao Zhan’s chest?

On top of that Mei Xiu had been recently noticing the sudden change in the other actor who had totally stopped interacting with Yibo. She could not understand why was Xiao Zhan behaving like that. Firstly, they thought that he must be ill because of which he could not call Yibo that night. But the next day and the day after that… followed by a whole week, there were pictures revolving around the internet that Yang Mi and he were traveling together along with their team for the purpose of promoting their movie. He was perfectly healthy yet he never read the last message that Yibo had sent him. Neither did he call _him_ nor did he try to contact _him_ by any other means.

Yibo’s hoarse voice on the call was like that of a man who was internally devastated.

_“JieJie, do you think he has started to hate me? Hate me for being so pathetically rude to him? Hate him for being the one who just left him after having the most special moment of our lives together?”_

“No… he cannot hate you Yibo. You know your Xiao Zhan, right?”

 _“I know… and that is why I can understand how much I have hurt him. I was the one to have confessed my love to him. I was the one to walk away from him, two years before. I was the one to get back into his life, all of a sudden. I was the one who had promised to stay by him and then again, I am the one who abandoned him. He finally has started to think that there is no point in investing his emotions into someone…”_ , Yibo’s voice choked into his own words and he sniffed to keep himself from falling apart.

“Shall I try calling him?”, Mei Xiu offered.

_“He won’t receive your call. You have been trying to get in touch with him numerous times in the past few days. Did he receive your call? He never will”_

His manager had no words to console him. The _‘Day Day Up’_ episode featuring the two actors togethers were supposed to be shot a week back but Xiao Zhan had even requested to postpone shoot that Mei Xiu was eagerly looking forward to. That was the only way to give them a quick opportunity to see each other in person. Fortunately, the actor did not refuse to attend the show, that was a great relief though.

The final date was fixed two weeks from the previous one and they were now just five days away but during all these whiles Xiao Zhan never for once tried reaching Yibo. Not a single time did he call _him_ again. It was as if Wang Yibo never existed in his life.

The younger person, on the other hand, was quiet for the first few days before his patience was finally starting to give in. With every passing day, he was growing more and more restless and that was when Mei Xiu decided to call Xiao Zhan herself and ask him to contact his lover once. To her great disappointment, he never talked to her too.

“Wang Yibo… please be fine, my dear. Don’t worry. Everything will be alright”, she tried to deliver the usual consolation speeches, despite being aware that it was not what the young man was in need of. He only wanted his Xiao Zhan and nothing else.

_“Nothing will ever be fine anymore. Nothing is okay!”_

Mei Xiu sighed. “You know, they will be coming in five days. Please prepare yourself”

_“Mn… I know I am just a hollow plastic doll who will have to paint a happy face revealing no guilt, sadness, emptiness – emotion and will have to face him, knowing fully well how he despises me. How my lover hates me and how reluctant is he to see me before him”_

As Yibo was waiting in the drawing room of the _Tiāntiān xiàngshàng_ building, for their shoot to probably start in the next few hours, Da Zhangwei sitting beside elbowed _him_.

“Hey… I remember the last time Xiao Zhan visited our show, three years before, was with you. I am wondering how did our little baby boy from 2019 grew up to be a man and so much taller. You gained how many inches, tell me the truth”

Da-ge’s way of throwing his lines, jokingly, in a joyous manner made Yibo giggle a little. _“An inch and a half. I was 5 feet 10 inches back then”_

“So, now you are almost 6. I could not grow myself beyond 9 inches. What a pity! Lend me some of your height… you kid”

Yibo softly chuckled again. Da-ge put an arm over _his_ shoulder and drew _him_ closer. “You look good when you laugh”

 _“Mn”_ , Yibo smiled.

“You may have grown up but you will forever remain a kid for all of us here. Tell me Yibo, is there any problem?”

Yibo looked at Da-ge with expressionless eyes. Were _his_ dark circles too visible? But _his_ make-up artist was usually a pro at her work. No one should notice. How did Da-ge do?

Yibo knew in the past two weeks, _he_ had lost some weight but since _he_ was always in the habit of wearing loose T shirts and saggy pants, his shrunken figure should not be noticeable.

_“No… there is no problem. I am just having to work late night these days and…”_

“You are lying Yibo”, someone’s voice interrupted their conversation and Yibo looked up to see Wang Han approaching them with a soft smile on his face. He came and sat down beside the youngest man. Yibo was literally squeezing in between his senior colleagues. Da Zhangwei intentionally shifted a bit closer, pressing Yibo further and _he_ chuckled at them.

Wang Han slapped the other person sitting next to Yibo. “Stop bothering our baby boy, you old man”

Da-ge made a sulking face. “You are older, Wang-ge”

“But you behave like a kid. Yibo is the kid here. Let’s focus on him”

All three of them exchanged smiles.

Wang Han addressed Yibo, once again. “You are lying to us Yibo?”

_“What? … No”_

“Yes… I know you have no mid night shoots”

Yibo kept silent as Han-ge continued, “See… your manager is standing over there. We were having a conversation just a while ago about random topics and she told me she can return home early these days because you have no mid night hours shoots”

The young actor felt highly strung. _He_ did not know what to say in response.

“There must be some reason behind your deteriorating health. You can share with us. What is it that is troubling you?”, Da Zhangwei asked.

_“Please don't worry. I am absolutely…”_

The sudden huge chaos outside interrupted their conversation. They were sitting on the third story of the building and all the people inside the room turned towards the window, facing the main road, that was left open.

“I think they arrived”, Da-ge said.

“They are already late by an hour. I hope fans would let them enter the building safely”, Wang Han commented.

“Yeah the traffic congestion was pretty terrific today. It took them more time to make their way outside the airport”

“How do you know?”

“I had messaged Xiao Zhan. He replied to me half an hour ago saying that they were still stuck at the waiting room of the airport”

Yibo quietly listened to the two older men’s conversations. Xiao Zhan had communicated to them via messages. _He_ was the only poor soul about who nobody cared. _His_ Zhan-ge offcourse wasn’t even bothered about _him_ anymore. Why would he? Nobody had ever hurt him the way Yibo did.

 _He_ took in some deep breaths. Finally, the time has come. In a few minutes, _he_ would be standing before Him. Yibo considered himself decent at hiding _his_ mental turmoil and agitation, masking it with normal human emotions. _He_ would have to smile at their guests and greet them. Nobody would ask _him_ why was _he_ smiling because he was expected to smile. But Yibo felt scared. _He_ was so fucking afraid to face Xiao Zhan after almost a whole month.

_He_ needed something to be imperfect. _He_ needed something to go to shit. _He_ was suddenly feeling this urge in _him_ to run away. _He_ wanted everybody around _him_ to stop expecting anything from _him_ and let _him_ escape from the monster that _he_ was thinking himself to be.

When _his_ Zhan-ge would stand in front of _him_ , how would _he_ lift his face to look at him? _He_ would look like a freak. Everybody needed to be convinced that there was no pressure sitting on _him_ but Yibo knew _he_ was not that strong; _he_ could not be that nonchalant.

Someone tapped _his_ shoulder and Yibo was snapped out of _his_ train of thoughts. _He_ did not know where to look. In a state of confusion, _he_ glanced at _his_ side. _His_ bodyguard was standing next to _him_ , with a hand on _his_ shoulder, looking at _him_ with eyes that displayed concern.

“Yibo, come”, Wang Han’s voice reached _him_ and that was when Yibo looked at the direction where the rest of the people were standing. _He_ was the only one who stayed behind; others had gathered at the centre of the large room.

**Yibo’s eyes finally fell on the Man; _his_ world without that specific person, had always felt colder. It was the first time in a long time, Yibo was seeing him.**

**The much-awaited guest’s eyes met _his_ and they stayed locked. Those familiar well-structured and perfectly symmetrical bones of his face, those splendidly attractive pair of eyes – _his_ beloved was handsome from the tip of his hairs to the nails of his feet. People always thought that the colour of eyes was of most importance but for Yibo, _he_ knew, _his_ Zhan-ge’s would be beautiful in any shade. From them comes an intensity, a calmness – perhaps this was what meant to be a gentleman.**

Yibo did not know for how long did _he_ keep looking; _he_ only averted _his_ gaze when the other one looked away. The younger man was supposed to approach them and shook hands with their guests, welcome them as others did but _he_ stayed rooted to _his_ spot.

Xiao Zhan turned towards Yang Mi, the female lead of the movie that they came to promote, and gestured her to step forward. The actress threw a smile at him and walked straight towards Yibo, stretching her hand out.

“Hello… Wang Yibo. How are you?”

Yibo was so lost in the other man standing next to her that _he_ almost did not hear any other thing said to _him_. Xiao Zhan looked at _his_ direction for a short second, catching _him_ staring at him and Yibo did not even bother to look away. Why would _he_? _He_ loved _his_ beloved. It had been so long that _he_ had seen him from this close. Yibo, offcourse, wanted to turn _his_ head away… _he_ was just unable to do so.

But… Xiao Zhan was able to. He immediately looked at the other direction as Mei Xiu came towards him.

“Good to see you, Xiao Zhan. Hope you are doing fine”, she said.

Xiao Zhan shook hands with Yibo’s manager while Yibo greeted Yang Mi. _He_ heard _his_ beloved talking with Mei Xiu.

“I am good. I hope you too are having a nice day”, Xiao Zhan bowed.

“Aaahhh… always a perfect and polite man”, Da Zhangwei commented and approached him, putting his arm around his shoulder. “But you are late and we all got tired waiting for you two… felt like we are going to meet the President of our country”

“I am so sorry for causing inconvenience”

“Naahhh… he is kidding”, Wang Han said and everybody in the room broke into a laughter.

**Xiao Zhan’s smile reflected the warmth of the glowing sun. Yibo noticed everybody’s gaze fixed on him. Everybody loved him, everybody admired him, everybody was drawn to him. Xiao Zhan’s smile reflected his competence, both personally and professionally. Everybody wanted to be close to him just like Yibo did. If Xiao Zhan wanted, he could have more friends than hours in the day, but he had always wanted only _him_ , Yibo knew, but _he_ had hurt him, left him. Perhaps that was why today _his_ Zhan-ge refused to even spare _him_ a glance.**

It had been exactly twenty-eight days and everything was over in between them. Xiao Zhan could have anyone, almost everyone and today he was making it more evident by the way he was treating his co-stars and other people in the room, except Yibo.

He shook hands with everyone but Yibo. When Wang Han elbowed _him_ , signalling _him_ to do what _he_ was required to do, Yibo finally realized that they were at work and _his_ personal sentiments could not and should not be displayed over here. _He_ approached him, holding _his_ arm out for a handshake. Xiao Zhan, with an empty face, returned the favour and at once stepped back.

The emptiness Yibo felt was all consuming. _He_ felt emotionally bankrupt. There was nothing left to say in between them, nothing left to feel. **_He_ realized _he_ became Xiao Zhan’s past and that realization made Yibo feel like, if not for his parents, _he_ had literally got no other reason to live for.**

_‘Day Day Up’_ was a talk show. The conversations were supposed to be spontaneous. Yet certain parts of their interview segment were pre-planned and the team announced that they needed to practice it for an hour before they would finally start shooting for the episode.

Yibo was the one to interview the cast of the movie.

Everybody walked towards the door, heading for the shooting room.

Yibo stayed back. _He_ silently watched Xiao Zhan walking away from _him_ , with his co-actress by his side.

**_‘If he turns back once, I would know that my Zhan-ge is mine… if he cares for me, he would turn behind to see if I am coming or not’_** , Yibo’s mind supplied.

 _He_ waited for one second… two seconds… three… four… five… Xiao Zhan stepped outside of the room.

He did not turn back.

Yibo’s eyes welled up. _He_ blinked _his_ eyelashes to keep those tears from spilling off.

“Wang Yibo-er…… come… come quick”, Da Zhangwei called for _him_.

Yibo nodded and started taking gradual steps.

 _He_ had to now sit in front of _his_ ex-lover and look straight into _his_ eyes, with a fake smile plastered on _his_ face and interview him.

How would _he_ do that?

Some were scared of ghosts, some of heights or falling, some were scared of insects, some of darkness; at the current moment it occurred to Yibo that he was actually scared of none of them; he felt he was no more afraid of the dark nor of any insect; the only feeling in him was the hard hitting of his heart against his chest hat was threatening to break his ribs and rip apart his skin. His empty burning lungs were urging to cry out loud.

Xiao Zhan and Yang Mi were sitting just opposite to him, their eyes focused on the script that the actress was holding. Yibo was holding another script where his questions were arranged in an order.

The director was standing by them, giving them suggestions about how to carry on with the interview segment in a smooth manner.

During the time they were taking small minutes’ breaks in between, Yibo had noticed his beloved not sparing him even a single glance. Even during their question-answer session, Xiao Zhan had not once looked straight into his eyes. His eyes were following the script and the void, the black hole in Yibo’s head, deep inside his soul was slowly swallowing all his dreams and hopes.

Yibo had brought this suffering upon himself. Wasn’t _he_ the one to have told _his_ beloved that he hounds _him_?

 _‘Now look what happened. He gave up on you’_ , Yibo’s mind screamed at _him_.

Wasn’t _he_ the one to have wished that _his_ beloved would learn to live on his own, without getting Yibo involved into it?

 _‘He no more include you in his life. Are you happy now?’_ , Yibo’s brain once more supplied.

All that the younger man did was for the sake of _his_ love. Not that _he_ was on a sacrificing spree but _he_ just wanted the past cyber bullying not to repeat again. _He_ did not wish to make _his_ beloved hide himself into his shell once again, something that Yibo had seen occurring with him in the past. Xiao Zhan deserved nothing but love and Yibo was just making sure that everybody loved him like they always had been doing. _His_ Zhan-ge deserved to stay on top.

But in the process Yibo’s guilt and loneliness of _his_ heart was enveloping him, coldly, and his whole body shook. Everytime, _he_ was seeing Xiao Zhan treating _him_ as if _he_ was non-existent even though Yibo was present right in front of him at a two feet distance, _his_ breaths came in sharp pants and _he_ was trying to gain control but nothing was working.

Someone shook him by his shoulder and Yibo’s train of thoughts were interrupted as he looked around. The whole of the room was looking at him.

“What happened? I am calling you so many times. What are you thinking?”, the director tapped on his shoulder once more.

Yibo parted his lips but no voice came. It took him some time to gather his dispersed calm composure.

“Are you alright, Yibo? Feeling well?”, Wang Han came upto him.

Yibo turned to look at Xiao Zhan. His beloved too was staring back at him but his eyes – they were expressionless. Was he irritated that Yibo’s lack of concentration was causing inconvenience to everybody?

It Hurt! The intensity was beyond the poor man’s bearing ability! He wished to run away.

Slowly the anxiety and heaviness in him was starting to rise bit by bit. Yibo needed a break. He cleared his voice.

 _“Yeah, I-I… am good. I just need a few minutes… Umm washroom!”_ , he said and got up from his seat, handing his script to his director.

“Sure”, the director said but the young man had already started taking long strides towards the door.

Xiao Zhan kept looking at the back of the retreating figure.

************************

Trepidation swelled through him and Yibo almost rushed into the empty washroom, closing the door behind with a loud bang. He walked towards the basin and looked at his self in the mirror.

_“This is not the way to behave Wang Yibo. This is not how you are expected to behave. You have to hide yourself behind your facial expressions. Your words should mask the real you. Do you want to put him into trouble again? His manager is with him. Both of you will be in trouble. Behave Wang Yibo”_

Without pausing to draw breath, he mumbled to himself, all at once. His reflection looked lost and confused. He seemed to be a ball of tangled yarn. Yibo opened the tap and placed his hands below it, allowing the cold water to flow in between his fingers. He wished to splash some of it at his face in an attempt to cool down the burning sensation that was occurring within him. But he could not because his make-up would be ruined that way and they were to start shooting, for the episode, in an hour.

When did Yibo get to do whatever he wished to?

His eyes were fixed on the water flowing into the white marble wash basin when a clicking sound from behind made him look up at the mirror in front and he saw the reflection of the person who just entered.

**Xiao Zhan!**

Yibo froze. The arrival of Him over there, at that time, was least expected. He turned back and saw his beloved quietly walking inside and entering one of the toilets.

_“So, you will not even look at me? Fine… don’t look. You are punishing me; I am accepting. You will be happy to know that I am feeling absolutely miserable”_

Freshly gathered tears blurred his vision and he looked down on the floor, head hanging low. Some minutes later, the toilet door was heard being opened. Yibo could hear the footsteps of the other one stepping out and then approaching the main door of the washroom. There was another clicking sound of a lock and Yibo knew Xiao Zhan was gone.

Sadness was a feeling that was the unseen, unheard, silent killer. It was the pain that was too much to cope with, too hard to deal with and never understood. Yibo also realized _‘Love’_ to be something that he could not escape; no matter how hard he tried it ALWAYS would remind him, with every breath he was taking in, that he loved Xiao Zhan to bits and pieces.

A big water drop fell from his eyes and Yibo saw it landing on the tip of the brown leather shoes that he was wearing. He kept his head down, closed his eyes as the remaining tears spilled down his cheeks… and… **at that very moment a sudden familiar warmth surrounded his whole form as two known pair of arms engulfed him into a bone crushing hug.**

He breathed in that well-acquainted scent; his senses were filled with the heat that was enveloping him. Yibo inhaled deeply, again… savoring the sweetness of the expensive cologne that he could recognize without even looking at its wearer.

A chin rested comfortably on Yibo’s shoulder and the embrace around him tightened, making him feel that the world stopped on its axis.

**“When did I say that I am punishing you? Who told you that seeing you sad makes me happy?”**

Yibo even forgot to release the breath that he was holding and the other person’s voice once again was heard beside his ear.

**“You should stop pushing me away when you know that you can’t live without me… nor can I… without you”**

To be continued…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter on 13th. If I am able to finish early, I will update before the said date.


	36. Love is Enduring

A chin rested comfortably on Yibo’s shoulder and the embrace around _him_ tightened, making _him_ feel that the world stopped on its axis.

**“When did I say that I am punishing you? Who told you that seeing you sad makes me happy?”**

Yibo even forgot to release the breath that _he_ was holding and the other person’s voice once again was heard beside _his_ ear.

**“You should stop pushing me away when you know that you can’t live without me… nor can I… without you”**

Xiao Zhan knew each action of Yibo even before they happened. He knew a long silence would follow, then. Yibo would not say anything in response for some minutes. _He_ would try to maintain that brave façade, thinking that _he_ was day-dreaming and then _he_ would break out into loud sobs, returning the hug. Xiao Zhan was capable of recognizing and reading every micro expression of his lover. Prior to Yibo’s parting _his_ lips to speak, _his_ beloved would know what was _he_ going to talk about.

The sweet nothings that Xiao Zhan whispered beside Yibo’s ears were an echo, with the ability to tear down walls that the younger person had built high and deep.

Wasn’t Yibo supposed to keep himself away from the one _he_ loved? Wasn’t _he_ asked never to indulge himself into the other one’s life again?

Didn’t _he_ fear that someone would see them like this? Was _he_ not scared of Du Hua and her spies and everyone who expected him to not let even _his_ own heart be a hindrance to _his_ career in the industry? Didn’t _he_ make a deal to obey and act according to _his_ agency’s wishes and orders in exchange for _his_ beloved’s safety and no obstacle to his reputation?

Yibo had sincerely tried to do all of the mentioned above, expecting to make everybody happy and keep them satisfied. But in the end… here a vulnerable and lonely soul was standing, caged inside _his_ beloved’s arms, not bothered about seniors, colleagues, careers, society but just what _his_ heart was yearning for.

Yibo needed him, wanted him, loved him… to an extent that _his_ heart and mind couldn’t anymore think of setting any other thing as the priority of _his_ life.

A while ago when the person, who _his_ heart claimed to own, was standing only at a feet distance and yet it was occurring to _him_ that an eternity of time had passed in between them, creating an unfixable crack in the bond that they shared… inside of Yibo there were fireworks and rage, love and frustrations, panic and fear, that was when it had occurred to _him_ how wrong was _he_ in assuming that it would not be too difficult for the other one to let go of the sole purpose of his life.

What an absolute injustice did Yibo bring upon the person who desired for _him_ with all his heart!

Yibo wanted to apologize; Yibo wanted to hold him and request him to forgive _him_ this time and not ignore _him_ anymore. The moment _he_ realized that _he_ had lost _his_ beloved… _his_ heart yearned crazily for Xiao Zhan. _He_ could no more convince himself to let go of what belonged to _him_.

**“Am I not supposed to be the one who deserves a warm hug, and then a promise that you are never going to treat me the way you did earlier?”**

Hearing Xiao Zhan’s voice, the anxiousness and rapid pace of Yibo’s heart gradually started to slow as _he_ felt the firm touch of a familiar palm holding _him_ by the behind of _his_ waist and another palm rubbing _his_ back continuously in circles. _He_ stayed silent and sank into the embrace, wanting to feel the warmth radiating from the other’s person’s body more intensely, just to be sure that the moment was not a product of _his_ imagination. 

**“You are a weirdo; do you know that? You should be doing what I am doing right now but look at you… standing and crying; you are absolutely useless”**

Yibo got to smell the fragrance of love after a long time… and _he_ brushed his nose against the smooth fabric covering the chest _he_ was leaning against. _His_ mind was now devoid of any other thought of this world except that _his_ senses could recognize the propinquity and intimacy of the one who _he_ was clinging on to.

**“Give me a hug… damn it, you little nasty man”**

Without a single bit of hesitation, Yibo encircled _his_ arms around the other person’s waist, letting _his_ palms rest on the sides of the elder’s hip and tilting _his_ head, _he_ placed _his_ chin on the familiar shoulder of the one whose body was pressed against _his_.

Xiao Zhan smiled to himself.

_“Zhan-ge”_

Xiao Zhan tightened the hug around his lover, in response.

_“Do you hate me, Zhan-ge?”_

“I don’t”, the answer that came was immediate.

The younger one found credence in _his_ beloved’s tone yet _he_ shook _his_ head. _“I know you do”_

“Why will I hate you?”

 _“GeGe…”_ , Yibo called in a feeble voice.

“Why will I hate you, Bo?”

 _“Why will you not? You have every reason to hate me… for whatever I did, I said… they are unforgivable”_. In the furnace of pain, _he_ cried on _his_ beloved’s shoulder, letting the other person’s shirt beneath _his_ chin soak the water droplets that were coursing down _his_ face.

_“Please forgive me this once… I know I was stupid. I am bad… I promise I will never do it again… never again. No, no… never”_

Xiao Zhan felt his lover in his arms trembling. _He_ could not stop. No matter how many firm, reassuring, kind words were he whispering to _him_ , Yibo was still shaking. Each tear shed by his lover, Xiao Zhan realized, was a mark upon his grave.

“Yibo… I do not hate you. Do you hate me? … No, right? Similarly, I too don’t hate you. How can this extreme negative emotion as hatred develop in between us?”

 _“You do… I know”_ , sadness was residing into the depth of Yibo’s throat and that could be felt from _his_ hoarse voice that spoke again. _“You loathe me”_

“Loathe you for what?”

_“Loathe me for saying those harsh words to you. I behaved in the way I should not have. I spoke such ill words to you… two times, Zhan-ge… twice… twice… I-I should not have”_

Xiao Zhan trailed Yibo’s spine length by his knuckles, up and down, repeatedly. The feel of his body so close to his lover soothed _him_ more than _he_ had expected, the elder one knew.

“Whatever you said to me Yibo… I agree they were grating, raspy… they had hurt me but I don’t hate you for that. I may be upset but that was only for the time being. Hate is not an emotion to exist in between us”

Yibo shut _his_ eyes tight as they dripped with tears. _His_ walls… the walls that _he_ had built in between them were collapsing gradually with every step that Xiao Zhan was taking towards _him_. _He_ said nothing… just clutched _his_ beloved shirt tight in _his_ fist.

“I don’t hate you”

_“Why? … why don’t you? … you, offcourse, should because……”._

Xiao Zhan interrupted him and pulled away from the hug. Yibo was reluctant to let him go. _He_ slipped _his_ fingers into the belt loops of the elder one’s jeans.

 _His_ beloved looked at the wet patches beneath _his_ eyes and brushed his fingers across _his_ cheeks. Xiao Zhan looked more closely at the face of his lover. Yibo’s make-up was all ruined. _His_ mascara had smudged under _his_ eyes. _His_ hairs were disorganised. Yet the Xiao Zhan felt that his man was just perfect. This vulnerable form of Yibo had a hint of femininity, but _his_ strong bone structure, broad shoulders, wide muscular chest was all male. Xiao Zhan let his eyes linger on that flawlessly handsome lover of his for a little longer before he spoke again.

**“Let’s suppose you had said a hundred words to me in the past. Do you want me to forget the ninety-eight times your language had made me feel no other emotion but unconditional love… and stick onto the only two harsh words that you said… and start hating you for them?”**

**“Shall I forget that each day in the past four years, you had no other feel in your heart for me… except love? Even when I had denied loving you back, you never gave up on me… shall I forget that? Is this the right way to have a balance in a relationship?”**

Yibo gazed back, unguarded and calm.

**“What am I supposed to do… Bo? Seeing you keeping awake… staying online nights after nights… as long as I was not sleeping… do you think I do not understand what were you doing?”**

**“Is it mandatory to misunderstand you because of one fight we had? It does not matter whose fault was that… it does not matter how forgiving of a person am I… all that matters is the feelings that I bear is mutual. I know what am I to you. The whole world can see that, written on bold and block letters, on your face”**

Yibo’s eyes remained fixed on Xiao Zhan’s face, not unblinking but slowed. _He_ did not wish to speak of anything at the moment and encircled _his_ arms around _his_ beloved’s waist, pulling him against _his_ chest, desiring to feel every ounce of the elder man that was pressed against every ounce of _his_.

**“The way you were behaving downstairs… staring unflinchingly at me… turning into a stupid .jpg file… trust me, each person present there clearly could see which place I hold in your heart”**

**“You want me to forget, ignore all of these and hate you just because you called me _‘irritating’ ‘disgusting’_ just twice? …… _‘Two’_ is greater than the ‘Love’ in between You and Me? Twice is supposed to have more value than the uncountable happiness that you have given me?”**

Yibo closed _his_ eyes momentarily. _His_ lungs could still detect the scent of the exquisite cologne lingering in the air. The endearing words of love and the sweet aroma was enough to wipe away every doubt from _his_ brain and flood _his_ heart with endorphins.

With a sharp exhale, Yibo threw _his_ arms around Xiao Zhan’s shoulder. The two men exchanged a doe-eyed look, the slightly grinned expression on one’s face exactly mirrored on the other.

 **Love. Dammit.** This was just what Xiao Zhan needed to see at that moment for self-assurance – a confidence in his own self that he was not wrong. Yibo was so familiar to him – the way _he_ moved, the way _he_ smelled, the sound of _his_ heart Xiao Zhan could distinguish amidst any undisciplined chaos. He could never be wrong in making a judgement of _him_. He could never be wrong in identifying _his_ love for him.

His lover wrapped him in a warm swaddle of _his_ chest and arms and Xiao Zhan’s mind was at peace.

_“Zhan-ge… when you were not looking at me, downstairs… you were smiling at everybody but me… I really felt like you have started to hate me and will never talk to me again”_

Pressing his head into Yibo’s neck, Xiao Zhan smiled big. Love had many colours and Yibo loved him with every shade of _his_ heart, he very-well knew. 

“My manager was there with me. The cameras were capturing every move of ours. The way you were being all pouty baby, I was fearing that you may jump onto me and tear my shirt off”

Yibo laughed soundly. Xiao Zhan playfully hit _him_ in the stomach as they kept hugging, “sssshhhh… keep your voice low”

_“Anybody may enter?”_

“I have locked the door from inside, though”

_“So, you came with full preparations?”_

“No… when you left our interview rehearsal, I followed you because I wanted to check on you. I had no earlier intention of making up with you inside a locked washroom like this. But you looked so terribly devasted that I had no other option”, Xiao Zhan explained.

_“Zhan-ge… ever since you stopped talking with me, I was really worried about you. Were you ill?”_

“I had a light fever. My phone was out of order since I dropped it into my bathtub and it took me some time to get a new one because of my busy schedule. For a week I had to use a mobile from our company. I could not call you from that number”

_“And after that, Zhan-ge… you did not call me even then?”_

Xiao Zhan broke the hug and looked at Yibo. “I did that intentionally. I was waiting for you to try to get in touch with me, at your own will, but you did not. You manager did but not you”

_“I missed you Zhan-ge”_

“I too missed you. I missed the sound of your voice, the touch of your skin. Why did you leave Yibo? I know you love me. I never had any doubt on that but… I don’t know what had happened because of which you had pushed me away. What wrong did I…”

 _“You did not do anything wrong”_ , Yibo said.

“Then? … who did? Did anybody tell you anything?”

Yibo did not answer.

“I want to know why did you do this? You broke up with me? I never knew _‘breaking up’_ was even an option in between us. Whatever situation may arise, after all that we went through to come together, there cannot be any thing else to set us apart. I always had full faith in you. I still have. Am I wrong in putting my trust in you?”

 _“No… darling”_ , the younger one lifted _his_ hands up to cup _his_ beloved’s face. _“You said you know what you are for me?”_

“Yet… I do not know why the person, who claims to love me, left me all of a sudden without giving me any explanation”, Xiao Zhan shrugged _his_ hands off him.

_“Zhan-ge… listen to me”_

“What went wrong? Just tell me that and assure me that you have the same faith in me as I have in you”

Yibo remained quiet and Xiao Zhan waited for _him_. He could not avoid discussing about the topic. He needed to learn the truth. He knew he had Yibo’s heart to him but he wanted to know if his lover trusted him with all the worries of _his_ heart or not.

The dead serious expression on Xiao Zhan’s face told Yibo that it was not the usual _‘Zhan-ge-loves-you-and-wants-to-cuddle-with-you-now’_ , rather one of the rarest _‘Obey-Zhan-ge-otherwise-be-prepared-to-sleep-alone-on-the-sofa-the next-time-you-meet’_

“If I did nothing wrong then I deserve an apology, Yibo… which I never got”, the elder one said.

The person referred to moved _his_ head from side to side, _“I know. I know… I am sorry. I am so sorry Zhan-ge. I am very sorry. I know I was wrong”_

“You know?”

Yibo’s hands were shaking gently when _he_ reached out to held _his_ beloved’s hands into _his_.

_“Offcourse, I realize that… I know you don’t hate me but I can’t even complain even if you do or refuse to forgive me. Whatever I did Zhan-ge… I feel absolutely…”_

“Worthless?”

_“Mn”_

“Yes, you are”

_“Zhan-ge, what shall I do to make myself worthy of you again? You know I can do anything for you”_ , Yibo tried to wear a smile on _his_ otherwise wilting face that had a new layer of fear starting to appear when Xiao Zhan pulled his hand away from the younger’s grip.

**“You can do everything else for me except giving me the reason that I want to hear…why did you leave me? I don’t understand what is there to hide. Why do you even need to hide the truth from me? Do you fear that I will get angrier and leave you? Do you fear that I will get upset? Your behaviour is making me more upset? Just tell me god dammit and put an end to my tension”**

Yibo’s lower lip quivered as words slowly made their way out of _his_ mouth. **_“Your… your staying with me will break you. Our… our being together is forbidden. So… so… I pulled myself back because……”_**

**“because roaming around me is not permitted, right?”**

Yibo did not say anything. The sarcastic smile on _his_ beloved’s face tormented _him_.

**“Are you the same Wang Yibo who had confessed _his_ love to a man on an Award function night and had cut all ties with him when you were rejected at your face? Developing a crush and then love for a person of the same gender… you were never afraid of flirting with me day and night in front of everyone on _‘Cheng-Qing-Ling’_ set. I can’t believe that you are the same Wang Yibo who is now talking about _‘forbidden’_ and _‘not-permitted’_ love”**

Yibo’s eyes were red and _he_ kept staring back at _his_ beloved, digesting the bitter truths that Xiao Zhan was saying to _him_.

**“If you don’t have the courage to face the storms with me, then why did we even start in the first place? If you cannot share with me every minute problem that can create rifts in between us, then I think that there is no point in taking risks of staying together anymore. This world permits straight men, right? Go and find yourself a girl”**

The elder one turned away and took a step towards the door.

Yibo knitted _his_ brows and caught him from behind. _“Sorry Ge. Please don’t talk like this”_

“I don’t hate you offcourse but to be honest if you seriously want to end all terms with me then say it and go away”

Yibo shook _his_ head and hugged _his_ man’s waist tight. Xiao Zhan pushed his lover away, making it very evident _‘I-don’t-want-to-hug-you’_

Yibo once more approached him only to be pushed back again.

 _“GeGe…”_ , _he_ called.

Xiao Zhan turned towards _him_. **“Not hating you is no enough reason for us to stick by each other like this. Either you tell me Yibo what was the exact pressure you were under because of which you treated me the way I do not deserve to be treated or if you do not wish to tell me then let me go”**

Yibo’s heart broke at the way Xiao Zhan snapped at _him_. He knew he was very wrong. Everything that _he_ did in the past few weeks were wrong. _His_ Zhan-ge said it right – he did not deserve to be treated like that but Yibo wished to tell him that _he_ was hurt too. _He_ could not bear _his_ man ignoring _him_ again the way _he_ was being ignored when they were downstairs some time ago.

“Your ignoring me for a whole month is fine… but if I ignore you for a few days, it is not fine… how is that fair Wang Yibo?”

_“It is not fair, I know”_

“You took our relationship and me for granted, Yibo?”

_“No… no… I did not take you for granted”_

“You did Yibo”

_“I did not. I swear I did not”_

“Then why did you go, tell me that? Why did you decide to give up on me?”, Xiao Zhan asked straightaway.

Yibo kept quiet, looking at _his_ partner. Though there were things in life _he_ wanted to give up, _his_ man was never in the list.

_“I will tell you everything at the right time”_

“Right time? When will it be the right time?”

_“Zhan-ge…”_

“When will it be the right time for me to know why my lover had ditched me?”

_“Ge. I promise I will tell you”_

“When?”

“Zhan-ge…”

Xiao Zhan let out an audible sigh. “When you feel like talking… come to me. Until then, stay away”

 _“No… GeGe”_ , Yibo wrapped _his_ hand around Xiao Zhan. “You are mad at me, Ge… but don’t ask me to go”

“Step away”, Xiao Zhan said through clenched teeth.

_“er-GeGe”_

**“I said STEP BACK”**

_“GeGe… I understand you”_

**“You understand shit”**. Xiao Zhan raised his hand and Yibo was too shocked to even move when a slap landed on _his_ cheek. _His_ head turned in the other direction. The elder person though, had put little or no pressure, making sure that Yibo would not be hurt even a bit but it gave an impression that the hit was quite tight.

Yibo’s hand automatically lifted up to cover _his_ cheek and straightening _his_ posture, _he_ looked at _his_ beloved.

_“Zha… Zhan-ge”_

“What?”

_“I-I…”_

“You what?”

_“I know… in my naivety…”_

Another slap landed on _his_ other cheek. Yibo widened _his_ eyes as _his_ head was now turned in the opposite direction, yet _he_ was not at all hurt. _He_ looked back at the hitter.

_“Sorry”_

“After a month, all that you feel is sorry?”

“I also want to beg, plead, get down on my knees… and tell you that my life has no meaning in it if you are not with me”

Yibo was expecting Xiao Zhan to soften a bit but he did not. Instead he reached his hand out to grip _his_ throat in between his fingers and placing a hand behind his lover’s head, that acted as a cushion keeping _him_ from being hurt, the elder person slammed _him_ against the side wall of the washroom.

“Yes… you should get on your knees and only then shall I consider forgiving you”

_“You are not disgusting… you do not hound me. I lied to you both the times. I will get down on my knees and say sorry”_

The grip of _his_ beloved around _his_ throat strengthened a bit and Yibo could feel the pressure of those fingers. Those were the touches of love, _he_ knew. His Zhan-ge would never hurt _him_.

_“I am sorry”_ , Yibo whispered and a gentle smile played on _his_ lips.

Xiao Zhan stared into those eyes for a while and leaned in to rest his forehead against his lover’s. Taking in a breath, he remained like that for some seconds before whispering. “Very fine… I think we should leave”

He loosened his fingers that was holding onto Yibo.

_“Ge… I am sorry. I am very sorry. What I did was wrong”_

“Hmm”

_“Ge… I am sorry”_

“Hmmm”

_“GeGe”_

“Shoot is about to start. I think we should be present on the stage instead of spending hours inside this locked washroom”

_“Don’t stay mad at me”_

“I am not”

_“I am sorry. I will do whatever you ask me to do”_

“Really?”, he questioned raising an eyebrow.

 _“I promise”_ , Yibo said sincerely.

“Anything I ask?”

_“Anything”_

“Anything… except one explanation… I know”, Xiao Zhan said. Yibo’s gaze shifted from _his_ beloved’s face to the while marble floor.

_“I will tell you… lat-later”_

“Then we will talk later”

Yibo encircled _his_ arm around the elder man. _“Zhan-ge… don’t go”_

Xiao Zhan ran his fingers through Yibo’s scalp and smoothed _his_ messy hairs.

**“Splash some water on your face and come outside. Tell your make-up artist that you were not feeling well. So, you had to wash away some of your make-up”**

**_“GeGe… your shirt”_** , Yibo placed _his_ hand on _his_ beloved’s shoulder and rubbed _his_ palm over it. **_“My make-up had smeared on your collar too”_**

Xiao Zhan did not reply further. He pushed Yibo off him and unlocked the door and walked out, leaving his lover behind.

Everything was well-organized and the rest of the shoot went smoothly, in terms of acting. Yibo’s interviewing skills were perfect. Their _‘Day Day Up’_ team was amazed to see how freely and frankly could _he_ talk at a continuous, having very appreciable communicative skills. The way _he_ was asking their guests about the movie, their acting experiences and nodding understandingly at whatever explanation Xiao Zhan and Yang Mi were giving; it seemed as if the interviewer had as much knowledge about the same as that of the actors themselves.

Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo’s interactions were going to be the prime highlight of the episode and each one among the others, from the director to the staff members, were full of appreciation for their chemistry onscreen, when the two heart-throbs of the nation were sharing the same stage with each other.

But Yibo realized nothing was perfect. _He_ knew _his_ beloved was hurting and out of rage he had not looked at Yibo, direct into _his_ eyes even once, from the time they came back from the washroom. They had communicated only according to the directions given to them and written on the scripts. Xiao Zhan had spent a long time talking to his manager, in the corner of the room. Yibo understood he was having to explain to her why was there make-up stains on his shirt and what had taken him so long inside the washroom, especially when everybody knew Yibo too was present there, from before.

Mei Xiu, though, did not question _him_ about anything. She had just given an understanding nod and Yibo had smiled a little at her.

*******************

Once they finished shooting, Xiao Zhan and Yang Mi were approached for some sensuous photoshoots. As they were giving postures, the photographer asked them to stand closer in an intimate position.

Sitting on a chair at a distance, Yibo was sneaking glances at _his_ beloved from time to time. _He_ saw Xiao Zhan wrapping his one hand around Yang Mi’s slim waist and with the other hand he held the thin shoulder strap of the actress’s skin revealing gown.

Their deportment indeed was giving the feel of special affinity!

Xiao Zhan unbuttoned his shirt from the base of his throat and Yang Mi placed her palm on his bare chest and they continued shooting for the episode and movie promotion pictures.

Yibo sighed and looked away. He was not mad at why were they standing like that. Being in the glamor industry, they both were well aware of their profession. Yibo was not holding any grudge or being envious with what Xiao Zhan was doing as a part of his job. _He_ just desired to do the same, what the actress was doing and even more than her. _He_ too wished to hug _his_ man and kiss _him_ for a long time. _He_ wished to keep _his_ beloved as close to himself as possible till every inch of _his_ own skin start to smell like that of Xiao Zhan.

Yibo had missed him a lot… _his_ yearning for _his_ elder person had overpowered every other emotion of fear in _him_.

Yibo decided to try to talk to him once they were finished with their work. Unfortunately, _he_ could not as Xiao Zhan’s manager immediately came upto him and stayed by him for the remaining of the time while they were with them.

As the movie team was about to leave, Yibo wished to embrace _his_ beloved before letting him go. But… _he_ could not!

Xiao Zhan was surrounded by so many people and _he_ was not allowed to go near him. Xiao Zhan too refused to turn back at _him_.

They bid a final Good Bye to everybody and left.

Yibo did not know anything about Xiao Zhan’s schedule of this week and the upcoming week. What if _his_ beloved did not call _him_ or even receive _his_ calls and reply to _his_ messages? How would Yibo meet him again?

While thinking about something for a long time, _he_ did not realize _he_ was still standing at the door when everybody else had already left.

A warm hand embraced _him_ around _his_ shoulder and Yibo heard Wang Han’s voice beside _his_ ears.

“Young man. Any worries?”

 _“No”_ , Yibo smiled at him.

“Hmm… so, you are going to leave now, right?”

_“Yes, Han-ge. When are you leaving?”_

“In five minutes”

 _“Okay… bye”_ , Yibo smiled again.

“Hmmm… but before that, Yibo… let me tell you something”. Wang Han held Yibo’s hands and squeezed _his_ palms. A feel of elder-brotherly assurance that he somewhat understood what was going on in Yibo’s mind and that _he_ needed some support.

_“I am fine, Han-ge”_

“I know you are absolutely fine… but still…”, the older man took a pause. **“He is staying at _‘Hotel Ubique’_ ; Room Number 712. He will be staying there till the day after tomorrow… I know you may not be wanting to know this, but… just for your information… in case you decide something”.**

Yibo stood there speechless. _He_ did not know what to say.

 **“Wang Yibo-er…”** , Wang Han smiled. **“It’s okay to fall in Love. It’s okay to keep Loving… Sometimes it’s okay to let our hearts Love who they want to Love… You are not wrong. He is not wrong. The world that judges the two of you is the one that is wrong”**

To be continued…


	37. Reconciliation

Yibo’s mind was so numb, floating around from what was happening around him that he did not even realize that their car had already halted in front of the hotel where he was staying and his bodyguards had even opened the door, waiting for him to get off the vehicle and they would accompany him to his suit door.

Yibo climbed down his seat but remained standing, staring blanking around the parking lot.

“Shall we go?”, one of his bodyguards asked, gesturing him to start walking.

 _“ummm… can you lie for me?”_ , Yibo looked at him and asked out of nowhere.

The person referred to, gazed at _his_ direction with a surprised look on his face, trying to think of a proper reply.

_“Mr. Li. Can you lie for me? If you cannot then at least don’t tell anybody unless they are asking. In case they ask… well, I know you will have no other option… but till then, don’t let anybody know, please”_

Yibo was accompanied by three well-built tall bodyguards. All of them exchanged glances and sighed almost together. Yibo was expecting that someone will ask him what was he talking about but to his great astonishment, no one did. Instead, one of them asked something else.

“Hotel Ubique? … you want to go now?”

Yibo speechlessly stared at him. Was he really being that obvious? Did everybody know? How?

Xiao Zhan was right. Yibo’s love for his beloved must be written in block and bold letters on his forehead.

It occurred to him that he had been accompanied by these men for many years by now. They might be appointed by his agency but they had literally become his personal bodyguards in all these whiles.

Yibo smiled at them. _“Please don’t tell anybody”_

“We won’t”

Yibo got back inside the car and in a few seconds the driver drove away.

*******************

On the way, he dialed his manager’s number and waited for her to receive the call. Once she did, Yibo softly greeted her. _“Mei Xiu Jie. Good Evening. Did you reach your hotel?”_

“Yes, Yibo… I did. Where are you now?”

_“On my way”_

“You are still not there? Is the traffic too bad today?”

_“No… the road is infact pretty good. There is no congestion. Seems like everyone is at home, making preparations for tomorrow’s celebration”_

“Unfortunately, we have work”, Mei Xiu laughed. “Your parents must be missing you”

“Yeah, they are. I will visit them in a few days”, Yibo answered.

“Did you buy gifts for them?”

 _“I will… my mother had literally handed me a list of what she needs. I too gave them a lengthy list of my demands”_ , Yibo let out a soft chuckle.

His manager laughed. “Like parents, like son… How long will it take to reach your hotel?”

_“Well… JieJie… I am going home”_

“Home? … now? … to your parents?”

 _“No… I said I will see them in a few days. This is another home”_ , Yibo sounded excited. _“… and I am almost there. I will talk to your later”_

Who knew what Mei Xiu assumed… but being an understanding woman as she always was, she did not push Yibo further in giving an explanation regarding his private matter. She knew his bodyguards were with him and he would be safe.

Biding adieus, they hung up the phone.

Standing in front of Room Number 712, Yibo pressed the doorbell thrice in a row and waited. In the next fifteen seconds _he_ pressed it a few more times and continued waiting, tapping _his_ feet impatiently on the floor.

The door finally opened before _him_ and there _his_ man popped his head out, hiding his body behind the entryway – hair dripping wet, beads of water had accumulated on his forehead. He must had hurriedly come out of shower to check who was at the entrance.

****

**_“Hi”_** , Yibo softly smiled at him.

A few seconds of pause followed before the person on the other side of the door too replied with a **“Hi”**

Yibo’s smile broadened a little and _he_ took a step closer, **_“Hi”_**

Xiao Zhan stared back at _him_ for nearly a minute. His lover waited for his response, with a radiant smile that played on the whole of _his_ face.

He straightened a bit and answered with another, **“Hi”** , before pulling the door wide and stepped aside to make space for Yibo to enter.

The younger man, without wasting another second, walked inside and closed the door behind _him_. Xiao Zhan stepped a few feet away from _him_.

**_“Hi”_ **

**“Hi”**

Yibo noticed _his_ beloved wearing a flannel bathrobe; his eyes were red, his black hair wet and disheveled.

He took _his_ shoes off and pulled away _his_ face mask and hat and placed them on the wall shelf beside the door. Finally, the young sunflower turned with whole of _his_ attention focused on the only sun of _his_ life.

**_“Hi”_ **

Xiao Zhan furrowed his brows and replied, **“Hi”**

Yibo grinned at him, showing off _his_ cute dimples and took fast steps forwards, swallowing the painful distance in between them as _he_ collected _his_ beloved in _his_ arms, fitting his whole body nicely and pleasingly against _his_ chest, letting the elder man sink into the warm and tight embrace. Xiao Zhan’s steps, initially, had wobbled a little but recognizing the familiar comfort around himself, he let out a shuddered breath and immediately balanced himself to stand in the pleasant intimate position.

****

**_“Were you crying?”_ **

**“I don’t need you”**

**_“Why are your eyes red?”_ **

**“I am not obliged to tell you everything”**

**_“Awww, I did not even let my baobao finish his shower. Sorry”_ **

**“Leave me”**

Yibo tilted _his_ head and planted a quick kiss on _his_ beloved’s wet cheek. Before Xiao Zhan could react, Yibo squeezed him a little more.

****

**_“Why is my er-gege smelling of the body wash that I endorse?”_ **

**“I don’t know”**

**_“And the shampoo is my favorite too. Since when did you start using it?”_ **

**“I don’t know”**

Yibo pressed another kiss on _his_ beloved’s cheek and patted him tenderly on his shoulder.

**“Why did you come?”**

**_“To get two more slaps from you - the deserving punishment for me”_ **

**“Who am I to punish you? Go and do whatever you wish to”** , Xiao Zhan replied, trying to put up a nonchalant exterior, acting coldly towards his lover.

****

**_“GeGe… I am sorry”_** , Yibo whispered beside his ear. **_“I love you GeGe, you already know that more than I do… don’t you know? GeGe?”_**

Xiao Zhan attempted to push his lover away. The younger one refused to move and continued whispering words of affection beside his ears.

**_“I love you more than I hate this world. I want you more than I fear this world. I was wrong in putting my anxiety before our adoration for each other, I admit”_ **

**“I don’t want to know anything from you, Yibo. I have no interest in you and your explanations and I don’t even……”**

Yibo cut his words, **_“I thought about your safety, GeGe… It means more to me than every other thing, GeGe. I know I was wrong for not telling you the reason behind treating you in a way you do not deserve to be treated… You are my gem; you are my jewel; you are my treasure. GeGe, I love you. I have always loved you. You are the first person who I fell in love with. You are the only person who I will forever love”_**

**_“I got scared thinking about… what if anything happens to you. I wanted to keep you away from worries; I wanted to keep them away from you, who may cause you harm…… Gege, I love you. I never stopped loving you. Du Hua said that if I don’t keep my career away from scandals, she will make sure to bring your reputation down. GeGe, I love you… I can break up with you a thousand times, provided you will remain safe, no matter if I am hurt or you are hurt in the process”_ **

Xiao Zhan unknowingly hugged his lover back, wanting to derive more comfort from the slow and gentle strokes on his back. Yibo let him relax under _his_ touches as _he_ continued talking, ** _“You can get a thousand more ‘Wang Yibo’ in your life, but your career, your life… the things - those are your passion, you can’t have them back if you lose them. Your parents can’t have another ‘ZhanZhan’ in their lives”_**

**_“I thought you will gradually get over your heartbreak. I was so wrong, I admit… I should have known that my er-gege loves me just too much and I too love him a lot and I too can’t stay away from you”_ **

Even though Xiao Zhan remained quiet, his embrace around Yibo spoke a lot. The younger man recognized the other’s silent expression of love and _his_ hands quickly travelled down _his_ beloved’s back and rested on his waist as _he_ continued massaging him lovingly.

**_“I am not afraid of facing storms with you. For you, I can give up everything that I have. You know that, right? You know I love you, GeGe”_ **

Yibo took a pause as _his_ voice broke into silent sobs that _he_ tried to suppress by swallowing the painful lumps down _his_ throat.

**_“Don’t you know GeGe, that I love you? I do not fear ‘not-permitted’ or ‘forbidden’ love… I fear you… You are the one who I fear a lot. One scratch on you and trust me I will die. The past was very difficult for you, I know, when you were subjected to cyber bullying”_ **

Xiao Zhan pressed his forehead against his lover’s shoulder and a cried into _his_ neck.

**_“I can kill and get killed for you, baobao… but they don’t want me to kill. They did not ask me to get killed. They only asked me to keep you away… which I did… I can do it again… for you… not because I am on sacrificing spree or because I love you less…… everything is because, I am so so selfish. I am too selfish to even think of your happiness before mine. What is mine, I just want it to protect it. You say you are mine so I want to keep you happ……”_ **

Yibo cried, desperately. The man in _his_ arms cried harder.

Their bodies trembled and their dresses soaked each other’s unrestrained flow of sadness through their tear ducts.

Xiao Zhan hugged his lover back so tight as if he would evaporate into thin air if Yibo distanced himself away from him. Pressing his face into his lover’s crook of neck, he could only silently listen to what Yibo was saying to him and then he only sobbed in response. Since the day Yibo left, Xiao Zhan had not cried. He did not know why had he not let himself cry his heart out, like this. He had been stacking his agony deep down his heart. All these whiles, Xiao Zhan had only wanted to talk to Yibo once and reconcile. He knew his lover could not stay away from him for long. One face to face meet was all that they needed and the elder man knew that Yibo would not be able to hold himself back. Xiao Zhan was very well aware of the kind of control he had on Yibo. He knew his lover more than the latter was himself aware of.

But… this was not what Xiao Zhan had expected. This was not how he had thought they would reconcile. He was supposed to tell Yibo that he loved _him_ too but he was just standing there and letting his distress flow in the form of tears.

Yibo’s love for him was beyond comprehension, beyond people’s normal understanding ability. _He_ sure had hurt Xiao Zhan a lot, lately, but could anyone love him anymore? Yibo loved him to the extent that Xiao Zhan felt his whole self would perish if he was ever asked to measure the immeasurable love that his most cherished person had for him.

The two men stayed clamped into each other’s arms. They let their lovers continue holding as long as they wished to, as neither was willing to let go this soon. They did not know how long did they keep hugging like that; they did not know when had they walked into the bedroom; they did not know who took the initiative and pushed the other one on bed, lying down, still embracing each other so tight, so close that even their breaths came in unison. They could hear the pounding of each other’s hearts against their chests. The beats were too rapid to be distinguished from one another. It felt almost as if their impulses were now no more separate but united.

Neither remembered to even change their dresses. One month of separation and now that they finally met, they talked of nothing more. No word in the vocabulary could actually explain what was going on in their minds…… rather there was literally nothing that both of them were thinking about, at this moment. They had calmed each other’s storms and the silence in between them was now screaming _‘ Love’_ from every corner of the room.

Yibo was laying on _his_ back with _his_ beloved on top of _him_ , trapped in _his_ arms; Xiao Zhan’s head resting on his lover’s chest, quietly listening to the momentum of _his_ heart’s beats – the prisoner was genuinely in love with the bars of this prison. Yibo’s hug felt so tight around him; Xiao Zhan wanted to tell _him_ that all of his broken pieces were now stuck back together. Yibo was brushing _his_ thumb across the other’s cheek and the corner of his eyes, wiping away the new trails of tears that were coursing down unknowingly, from time to time. A few firm kisses were frequently planted on Xiao Zhan’s forehead as Yibo continued caressing his beloved’s back.

“Did… did they say they will harm me?”, Xiao Zhan spoke after a long time.

Yibo responded only with a _‘Mn’_.

Xiao Zhan lifted his head up and looked at the person cocooning him into _his_ arms, warming him against _his_ firm muscular chest. Yibo cradled _his_ beloved’s tear stained face and palmed _his_ forehead.

“Merry Christmas Eve, Bo”, Xiao Zhan smiled.

 _“Merry Christmas Eve to you too, love”_. Yibo pressed _his_ lips at the point in between Xiao Zhan’s brows and then pecked the tip of his nose.

The elder put his head back on the younger’s chest.

“My Christmas gifts?”

 _“Say what do you want?”_ , Yibo cuddled with him, gently patting _his_ beloved’s neck.

“You”, Xiao Zhan whispered against Yibo’s skin as he pressed his lips against his lover’s throat.

 _“You already have me, don’t you?”_ , Yibo said. _“See I am here, caged in your arms. I have nowhere to go. You can have me however you want”_

Xiao Zhan grinned. Yibo inclined _his_ head and the other one positioned his own face accordingly, as their lips brushed lightly against each other. Yibo glided _his_ fingers through Xiao Zhan’s hairs and held _his_ beloved still, their mouths met.

After a month-long separation Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo finally did. They kissed. They gently sucked on each other’s lips, making sure to not cause any pain to the other person, leaving a little space in between their joined mouths that enabled them to keep inhaling. They did not want to part, not anymore. Yibo held Xiao Zhan by the side of his jaw with one hand and placing another hand behind the elder’s waist, _he_ flipped _his_ beloved over the bed and settled himself above him.

Xiao Zhan encircled his arms around Yibo’s neck, keeping their lips in contact. _His_ lover lingered _his_ tongue unrestrictedly on whichever parts _he_ wished to. _His_ man did not fight for dominance. He let _him_ kiss him and silently enjoyed being kissed in a way that gave him the kind of assurance in his heart that nothing else could.

Yibo held Xiao Zhan’s face and _his_ thumbs felt the wetness of the tears that rolled down the corner of the elder’s eyes. _He_ pulled away from the kiss to look at the crying mess before _him_. _His_ beloved’s lower lips quivered, his chin shook and he sobbed. Yibo lovingly kissed his eyelids and dropped a fond peck on his chin.

****

**_“The bright side to break-ups is another first kiss”_** , _he_ said. Xiao Zhan’s sobs subsided and he let out a chuckle.

**_“GeGe… let’s get back to healing and hope for a better tomorrow”_ **

**“Please, have mercy on me… have mercy on my soul. I have given the rest of me to you and released to you all of the control. I dream of sharing the last “first kiss” with you. May this be that last “first kiss”. Let the remaining kisses we will share never have to be our……”** , Xiao Zhan’s words were muted as he felt Yibo’s hard kiss on his mouth and then _his_ tongue tracing his mole.

They broke apart a minute later and the younger male threw a comforting smile at the other. **_“No more first kisses. We are experienced kissers now”_**

Spreading _his_ arms wide, Yibo embraced Xiao Zhan and pulled him up to sit on the bed. _He_ then gave _his_ beloved a loud _‘muuuaaaahhh’_ on his temple and climbed down to stand on _his_ feet.

_“_

_No more kissing now. Let me get fresh, Zhan-ge”_

“As if I am too eager to be kissed by you”

_“Same here. I am least interested in kissing you”_

“Brat”

_“Stupid”_

“Go away”

_“I have no clothes”_

“I am not even surprised. Take mine”

_“Are you going to sit in your bathrobe all day long?”_

“I will change”

Yibo giggled. _“GeGe… this is Christmas eve. What shall we eat today?”_

“Ummm, wanna cheat your diet?”, Xiao Zhan winked.

_“Sounds wild”_

The elder person threw his head back and laughed. “Okay I am ordering something good”

_“Perfect”_

Yibo was about to turn back when _he_ was called from behind.

“Yibo… did… didn’t anybody see you coming here?”

Yibo’s lips stretched into a wide grin. _“Who cares?”_

Xiao Zhan’s face lit up. “Yeahh. Who cares? … By the way, tomorrow you are staying right?”

_“Hmm, I will. I cannot leave without taking my Christmas gift from you”_

Xiao Zhan pouted. “A gift on Christmas eve. Another on Christmas. Don’t you dare ask for a New Year present too. I will go bankrupted”

His lover smiled big. _“If you don’t give, I will steal away all your money”_

“080597… my Debit Card PIN. Make yourself comfortable”

Yibo leaned forwards and gave two long and loud _‘muuaaaaah(s)’_ on _his_ beloved’s two cheeks. _“It’s good that you did not try to tell me the wrong code, because I remember”_ , _he_ whispered beside his ear.

The elder man pushed his lover back and grabbing a pillow from the bed, he threw it at _him_ , “Clingy puppy… Get Lost from my eyesight”

_“Okay… okay… going”_

*******************

When Yibo stepped out of the bathroom, finishing _his_ shower, _he_ saw Xiao Zhan arranging food for them on the table. _He_ tiptoed upto him and wrapped _his_ arms around _his_ beloved from behind, encircling _his_ fingers to the elder’s wrist.

“Yibo… let me set the plates. Won’t you eat?”

Yibo pressed a few kisses on _his_ man’s bare skin behind his neck and placed _his_ head on Xiao Zhan’s back.

_“I should be happy now… then why is it paining, baobao?”_

Xiao Zhan turned around and hugged Yibo tight against his chest. “Not pain. Perhaps the happiness of having each other again feels too overwhelming”

 _“Mn…”_ , Yibo snuggled closer. _“Can you put your trust in me, again?”_

“You never lost mine in the first place”

Yibo remained quiet. Xiao Zhan brushed some strands of hair away from _his_ forehead.

“You think I did not forgive you, isn’t it?”

His question stayed unanswered and his lover in his arms squeezed _his_ hands a fraction tighter around him.

“You have seen me confessing you at 2 am, in the middle of the night. I have seen you hating everybody who broke my heart. We have kicked each other for the better half of the bed and after watching _‘The Exorcist’_ , you have held my hands and slept, too. We have seen so many sides of each other that You are now a part of my life; you have become my habit. I cannot stay mad at you for long”

Yibo smiled quietly. _“I did not forgive you yet for forcing me into watching that stupid horror movie. It had literally scared the shit out of me”_

“But it was fun, Bo… you can’t deny”

_“Fun… my ass. I will take you skateboarding one day, along the mountain roads and I will see how much fun…”_

“Shut up, Yibo”

_“You shut up, Zhan-ge”_

“Now you will pick up a fight with me over an incident that had happened centuries before”

_“Century? I think you forgot that you had also forced me into watching the three parts of ‘The Conjuring’ series and also ‘The Nightmare on The Elm Street’ and all of these happened within a span of four years”_

“You will remember only the bitter things about me, isn’t it?”

Yibo broke the hug and glared at Xiao Zhan.

_“I do not easily forget and forgive someone who had caused me trouble”_

“Oh, I get it… now a random someone and me are the same? Sure… go ahead and take your revenge over something so silly”, Xiao Zhan glared back.

_“Silly? … you call it silly? I could not sleep for three whole nights”_

“As if you suffered alone. I too did not forget that you made me stand in front of the bathroom everytime you had to **PEE** at night”

****

**_“STOP SHOUTING”_ **

**“YOU STOP SCREAMING”**

**_“I WON’T”_ **

**“GET OUT OF HERE”**

**_“WHY WILL I?”_ **

**“BECAUSE YOU ARE GETTING ON MY NERVES AND I CAN’T STAND YOU ANYMORE”**

**_“WHAT WILL YOU DO IF I REFUSE TO LEAVE?”_ **

**“I WILL CALL THE POLICE”**

**_“FINE… SEE YOU AT COURT”_ **

**“IDIOT”**

**_“IRKSOME”_ **

**“MONKEY”**

**_“DONKEY”_ **

**“CROCODILE”**

**_“HIPPOPOTAMUS”_ **

**“WANG YIBO”**

**_“XIAO ZHAN”_ **

****

Their voices rose above the silence of the hotel room as the two men continued with their cat fights for some more time before they settled down on the dining table and finished their dinner quietly.

An hour later they slipped into each other’s arms on the bed, tangling their legs together and drifting off to sleep but they were not talking with each other.

Why? … Because the two lovers had fought.

In the middle of the night Xiao Zhan stirred a little, perhaps dreamt of something uncomfortable. Yibo coaxed him, fed him water and put him back to sleep… oh and they kissed too… a light peck on the lips and forehead, with an assurance that the bad time had passed… yet they did not talk with each other.

Why? … Because the two grown-up men had quarreled and were now mad at each other. So, they wouldn’t talk.

To be continued…


	38. Relationship is Communication

The next day started good enough though. A chaste morning kiss was what the couple needed to forget their fight and get back together, once again cuddling and flirting tirelessly with each other.

Feeling a hand around his waist, Xiao Zhan turned on his side and snuggled upto the other person's warm chest. Yibo fondled him. He opened his eyes a little and looked up to see his lover halfway lying and halfway sitting beside him, _his_ arm around him, stroking his back. He pouted and Yibo at once leaned down to plant a quick peck on his lips.

Satisfied with that, for the time being, Xiao Zhan closed his eyes again and smiled a little. "Bo-ge?"

_"Mn"_

"What is the time?"

_"6:50"_

"Why did you wake up?"

_"I had a call to attend"_

"Your phone ringed?"

_"Mn"_

"I did not hear"

_"You were temporarily out... I mean dead"_

Xiao Zhan raised his hand and slapped Yibo on _his_ chest. The younger man did not react in response. Xiao Zhan opened his eyes again to see his lover unblinkingly looking at his face.

"Stop staring"

 _"You, sir, are very attractive. Therefore, I shall stare at you"_ , Yibo answered with a straight face.

Xiao Zhan blushed. Nestling into his lover's arms, he lightly slapped _him_ on _his_ shoulder.

"Stop flirting, will you?"

_"I am not flirting, Sir. I am being extra friendly to someone who is extra lovely"_

"Bo-ge, Bo-ge, Bo-ge... shut up. This is how you greet your elders early morning? Uffff, kids these days......"

And they broke into a fit of giggles.

The affection pouring out of their hearts were somewhat overdosed this time. When they were finished with their flirting session, Xiao Zhan decided to take a shower after breakfast. He knew another argument was going to be held soon, that would consume their next fifteen minutes, quarrelling over who would shower first but he was really surprised when Yibo agreed to let him use the bathroom before _him_ , without complaining. It was strange for Yibo too when Xiao Zhan agreed to eat the bland instant noodles for breakfast, without making faces, because Yibo wanted to compensate the over intake of previous night's extra calorie dinner.

************************

"Although I said, I never want a break up with you but now it seems like breaking up sometimes is good... good for health", Xiao Zhan mumbled.

_"I can't deny, I am actually quite amazed to see your sudden love for me"_

"I too am surprised to see that you are agreeing to most of the things that I want to do"

 _"It feels weird to have an obedient lover. I mean my Ge is pliable? I can't believe but it's not that I am complaining. I feel good"_ , Yibo said as _he_ stretched himself on the couch and laid _his_ head on _his_ beloved's lap, who was sitting with a paper binding in his hand, going through his shoot's script.

Xiao Zhan looked away from the page and focused on his man. "Hmm... Let's break up often then"

Yibo playfully hit him on his knees. _"Let's break up often then",_ _he_ mimicked _his_ beloved. _"Stupid man"_

Xiao Zhan laughed.

Pulling one of the elder's arm over _his_ chest, Yibo intertwined their fingers and closed _his_ eyes. _"Today is Christmas. Everybody is going on picnics and here we are locked indoors. Why can't we go on a vacation?"_

Xiao Zhan kept his script aside and ran his fingers through the younger person's hairs, gently massaging _his_ scalp. "Let the mess settle down this year. Next year we will go somewhere"

_"Italy?"_

"Canada?"

_"Let's go to Italy"_

"Why not Canada?"

_"Italy"_

"Canada"

_"I said **ITALY** "_

"I said **CANADA** "

_"But I want to go to **ITALY** "_

"I want to go to **CANADA** "

**_"I HATE YOU XIAO ZHAN"_ **

**"I HATE YOU TOO WANG YIBO"**

**_"BAOBAO"_ **

**"PUPPY"**

They went quiet, after a while. When Yibo dozed off to sleep, Xiao Zhan resumed memorizing his lines from the drama script.

Sometime later, Xiao Zhan gently tapped Yibo's chest to wake _him_ up, trying to gain _his_ attention.

"Yibo"

_"......"_

"Tsk... Bo"

Yibo moved only a little to turn and press _his_ face against _his_ beloved's abdomen.

"You lost weight", Xiao Zhan moved his palm all over Yibo's chest and the sides of his waist and back. "Who told you to act over smart and break up with me?"

Yibo chuckled quietly. _"What did you do to pass your time, baobao, when I was not there?"_

"Nothing. I messaged you, tried to call you and then used to get bored"

_"You could have painted. Painting, sketching helps you relax"_

"But they require peace of mind which I did not have. All thanks to you"

_"Stop lying. You love painting a lot"_

"I love you more"

_"LIAR"_

_"It's true. In a room full of art and you, I will still stare at you"_

Yibo pressed _his_ face more against Xiao Zhan's body and shook _his_ head. _"Look who is flirting now"_

When _his_ beloved did not respond, Yibo looked up at him to see him staring down.

_"What?"_

"Do you have a map, Bo?"

_"Why?"_

"I need a map... I cannot find my way back. I am lost in your eyes"

 _"Oh, Zhan-ge stop it... please"_ , Yibo giggled loudly. _"You are always in my mind but that does not mean I forget other things"_

"Am I? But you are never in my mind, Bo... you are always in my inappropriate thoughts... like..."

_"Like?"_

"Like... your clothes would look nice on my bedroom floor"

Yibo's cheeks were rosy as if _he_ was shy, which wasn't a lie at all. Not only _his_ cheeks but _his_ whole face turned red. Since the ears had been hidden among the messy curls of _his_ hairs, Xiao Zhan placed his hands over them, obviously to find them hot and as rosy as his lover's face.

"I am not flirting, Yibo. I am just thinking whether to ask you... if I can borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back"

 _"Zhan-ge......"_ , Yibo whined but _he_ lifted _his_ body, in _his_ beloved's arms, up a little and they kissed. After just a few delicate touches of their warm lips, Xiao Zhan tilted his head and Yibo felt hot breaths on _his_ neck, then the tender brush of the other's lips; burning as they made contact with _his_ skin. All previous thoughts stopped in their tracks inside Yibo's brain. Now there was only desire, one wish and they both knew it was just a matter of time before _' it'_ happened.

Xiao Zhan, hesitantly pulled himself back. "I think we should stop"

Yibo was clearly dissatisfied but still _he_ smiled and nuzzled _his_ nose against _his_ beloved's throat. _"Why can't we continue?"_

Xiao Zhan hugged _him_ tight in his embrace. "Because I have something to talk about and it's important"

_"Mn... can it not wait?"_

"No"

 _"But I want you to love me now"_ , Yibo demanded and Xiao Zhan pressed some more hot kisses along _his_ neckline and then his lips travelled up to _his_ earlobe. The arms around his shoulder tightened and Xiao Zhan cautiously held his lover and made _him_ lie down on his lap again, tenderly loving _him_ by palming _his_ forehead with one hand and his other hand was inside Yibo's shirt, his fingers drawing invisible patterns on the bare skin of Yibo's waist and stomach and chest.

"Bo-ge... Bo-ge... Bo-ge"

 _"Shut up"_ , Yibo muttered.

Xiao Zhan chuckled. "Why?"

_"The next time I kiss you, I will tie you up and have my ways with you and you cannot stop me"_

"Yes, I know... You should have been a business man and not an actor. Because you are pretty good in dealing with people like me. But that does not give you the independence of dealing with many men. Its either me or nobody else"

_"The next time you stop midway, Zhan-ge... I swear I will cheat on you"_

"Huh... as if anybody can love you more than I do"

_"So confident?"_

"Yes, I am... thank you"

 _"Mn... you are welcome"_ , Yibo faked a frown. _"Now say what you have to say"_

"Yibo... actually there is something that I want you to know... about my shooting. The drama that I am shooting for, these days"

 _"Mn"_ , came the answer.

"Ummm...... I had requested the director to postpone the shoot of a particular scene because I first wanted to talk to you about it and fortunately, he agreed to do so but you and me were not in good talking terms, for some time, so I could not tell you about it, earlier"

_"What is it?"_

"I never did this before so, I am... kind of nervous about how will you react to it. I mean I will get the confidence to do it only if you feel like supporting me but there is no pressure. If you don't want me to do it. I will offcourse never disappoint you. There is no pressure on you. You just think about it and I only wish to know what is there in your mind"

 _"What is it baobao?"_ , Yibo asked.

**"As you know the romantic scenes we usually shoot are mostly limited to hugs and light smooches. I mean we never did anything beyond that, right? Atleast, I never did anything more than that - scratch the hugs and bridal lifts and piggyback rides. But this time there is a love making scene that I am required to shoot with the actress. To pass the censorship, our team is offcourse going to keep it subtle but the fact that the lead characters are consummating their marriage will be pretty much direct and obvious... So, I was wondering..."**

_"What?"_

**"I mean, we are required to shoot in semi naked form. Basically, I will be wearing only boxers and I-I don't know what the actress is going to wear. She already gave her consent. I did not give yet and our team said that if either of us is reluctant to do it, they will cut out that scene. It is not necessary though. It's just for the sake of... you know, experimenting with something to see how the audiences receive and react to it and also... I mean they say that we share a good onscreen chemistry so it will add to the passion and... aa... and... "** , Xiao Zhan stuttered.

Yibo got up to sit and shifted closer to _his_ beloved, letting his head rest on the elder's shoulder. **_"You are seriously something else, baobao. Why are you even asking for my permission?"_**

**"Shall I not? I mean I must know what you think about it because you know... we are together and I have my desires only for you, I want to be with you and only with you and nobody else. I don't want you to doubt that"**

**_"Why will I doubt you, love? This is acting, isn't it? This is your job. This my job. Acting is our occupation. We earn money from it. Our professional and personal lives are totally different. You are a self made, independent man. You can take your own decisions. Moreover, this is something about your career. If you are comfortable with it, then go for it. I have nothing to say regarding whatever you are required to do as a part of your job. You know about it better than me. Infact, I will say, you should definitely do it. Why not? The actress gave her consent. You can act out the scene well, I know. Then why do you need my approval?"_ **

**"So, you don't have a problem?"**

**_"Problem? ...... never... You say, I am your partner. We stand by each other, support each other and correct each other when either of us is wrong. You are not wrong. Why will I have a problem?"_ **

**"And will you not be envious?"**

**_"Do you feel jealous when you see me kissing onscreen?"_ **

**"No"**

**_"Why?"_ **

**"Because you are acting. I just wish to do the same"** , Xiao Zhan smiled sheepishly. **"I too want to kiss you"**

Yibo too laughed with him, **_"Perverted old man... To be honest, yesterday when I saw you doing the sensuous photoshoot with Yang Mi, I was never jealous. I just wanted to hug you too and do more to you"_**

"Now tell me who is more pervert?"

" _Okay that's me"_

They both laughed.

Yibo pressed a kiss to the side of Xiao Zhan's throat and was hugged back tight in return. _His_ beloved wrapped his arm around _his_ shoulder and kissed _him_ on _his_ head and let out a sigh.

**_"Do it Zhan-ge... Don't ask for my permission. We give each other much amount of space in our lives. I know at the end of the day you will come back to me. Just... don't cheat on me, otherwise you will get killed"_ **

"As if I am you... those impure thoughts of cheating on your lover can come only to you"

_"But... you are getting old, so I thought you might be needing more... you know when I am not around"_

"Okay... I will call you to me and then eat you out if I am required to fulfill my sexual desires"

_"Done... one call and I will come running to you"_

"Hmm... sounds good"

_"Only good? It sounds the best"_

"Hmmm"

_"Mn... Zhan-ge..."_

"What?"

_"Who in the world throws jokes like this on a sensitive topic as 'cheating'?"_

"We do it"

_"Because we are weird?"_

"Only you... not me"

_"Then what are you? ... a rabbit?"_

"Yes, I am... if you agree to be a pig"

_"Shut up, you sexy old man"_

"Is this a compliment or an insult?"

_"My intention was to compliment your yummy flawless figure... but you can take this as an insult, if you wish to. I don't have a problem, offcourse"_

"Nonsense"

_"Shameless"_

Xiao Zhan sighed and they stayed quiet. No talking... just silence in between them while they stayed into each other's arms, rocking back and forth and enjoying the warmth that was providing a feel of content and immense love. They both had always loved silence. It meant that they did not need to fill up the space in between them with words. Love can do that. They just enjoyed existing together.

"You are still six years younger to me, do you know that?", Xiao Zhan was the one to break the silence after a long time. "And you are forever going to stay younger than me but I really am amazed to see how matured and understanding you are. This is exactly why I was refusing to give up on you"

Yibo lips rose upwards into a grin.

"This world won't get another Xiao Zhan I agree with it, as you said before. But do you know that your Zhan-ge would never get another Wang Yibo in this lifetime?", and he pressed a firm kiss on his lover's temple and keeping _him_ in his arms, he only tightened their hug. Yibo was enjoying being pampered like this.

_"Mn... and I too would not get another er-gege like you. You are the best. Sitting next to you, in your arms like this, I can hear you even when you are quiet. You are fluent with me in your silence too"_

"I hate you", Xiao Zhan let out a deep breath.

_"I hate you too, ge"_

"Yibo... I know during the past few weeks you were stressed out for many reasons. If I were in your place I too would have panicked. Still, I will suggest you to share with me your worries, okay? You will do it, right?"

_"I will gege. Don't worry about me"_

"Yes... having a proper conversation builds up faith. I know we trust each other without any hesitation still... its necessary, don't you agree with me?"

_"I agree, Zhan-ge"_

"Hmmm... You know, I had once gone to meet someone in the middle of the night. We were inside an elevator, kissing. That person could somehow sense that I was tired and I needed rest. Later while we were chilling on the rooftop, he told me that Caring about each other is love, having fun and doing all good things with each other is Love... but sharing about my problems, letting the other person know why am I worried or what are the things that I don't wish to do and talking about the things that I think may create misunderstandings in our relationship, is Love too. I had learnt all these from that person. He is so intelligent and he had taught so many good things to me. Don't you think whatever he said are so true and right?"

Yibo looked at his beloved, fondly, and smiled at him. _"Yes... he was right"_

Xiao Zhan kissed _him_ on _his_ cheek. "I know you are worried for many reasons. But don't argue with Du Hua. You need to work with her, right? Maintaining a healthy relationship with people at work is a good thing to do. Yesterday my manager was asking me about the make-up stains on my shirt"

_"What did you say?"_

"I told her that it was you. I told her that we had hugged and that was how my white shirt had those colour patches on it"

Yibo widened _his_ eyes. _"You told her?"_

"We are not committing any crime, are we? And they are the people who are the closest to us. They know every move of ours. It took me such a long time to accept who am I, in reality...... how can we expect them to accept us this soon? Let's give them some time. Du Hua just scared you. She won't do anything to me. Be patient with her. I will talk to her, if need be. Otherwise you can try to explain to her about us. Be patient, love. Give them some time. Losing temper will cause us no good. You are always so understanding with me. Let's try to understand her point of view too. She cares about you, Yibo"

_"How can you say that Zhan-ge? She literally threatened me about causing you harm"_

"So, is it necessary that we need to answer her back with equal threats? I worry about you so much Yibo. Please don't make me worry more. I won't interfere in how you decide to handle people at your work. But I will interfere if something bad happens to the one who I love. So, you better take care of yourself"

Yibo pulled _his_ beloved in a hug and dug _his_ chin on the other's shoulder.

_"It's a good thing that my sweetheart is elder to me. He can act matured when I cannot"_

Xiao Zhan smiled while embracing _him_ back.

"Promise me that you will take care of yourself and sort out the problems"

 _"I promise"_ , Yibo said.

"Good boy... Now tell me what was that early morning call about?", Xiao Zhan asked.

_"Mei Xiu Jie... asking me to go to Changsha office to sign for god knows what new things"_

"Today?"

_"Mn"_

"But today is Christmas"

_"I have to work on my own birthdays. How can I be lucky enough to get a holiday on Jesus Christ's birthday?"_

"But today is a holiday"

_"I have unofficial, unannounced working day"_

"But this **SO WRONG** "

_" **UHH**... baobao, stop shouting beside my ears"_

"Mmmmpphhhh... I won't let you go"

_"We will meet soon"_

"Bo-ge, Bo-ge"

_"What?"_

"NOOOOO"

**_"GeGe... We are going to meet on the 31st night MangoTv New year ceremony, remember? We both are invited... it's just five days from now and then we have holidays till the 6th of January"_ **

"But there will be no possibility of our private interaction. The whole industry will be present there and we are not allowed to attract unneeded media attention. Then, on the 1st Jan...... both of us will visit home. Our parents are waiting"

_"I know... I need to do shopping for my parents"_

"Me too... will you help me choose gifts?"

 _"Offcourse..."_ , Yibo smiled big and they kept hugging.

**"Bo-ge... let me know your schedule of the 31st night okay? And your changing-room number too... as soon as you get the details"**

_"I will"_

"And when are you going today?"

_"4 pm. My flight is at 6:30"_

"Bo... Five days I can't keep waiting"

Yibo pulled away from the hug.

**_"I will stay with my parents till 4th January. Let's catch the 5th morning flight and meet at Beijing. Will that be alright, GeGe?"_ **

"Your apartment?"

_"Mn"_

"Okay". Xiao Zhan's face finally lit up.

And their mouths linked for a hard kiss. The passion they shared traveled through every nerve beneath their skin... and if anybody could hear their hearts, they would know with every beat, Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo were vowing to stay connected till their last breaths. There would never be anymore separation. Hooking fingers, eyes closed and lips joined, they were promising each other a limitless love.

To be continued...


	39. Hearts Afire

Looking at the three legal document sheets, Yibo let out a deep sigh and smiled to himself.

Was that smile sarcastic or fake?

_“I thought I am booked for the whole of the next year. Where am I supposed to fit three more shows, JieJie?”_

He looked up at Mei Xiu who was standing across the table beside the chair where Du Hua was sitting.

“Two of them are reality shows. In the first show, you have to make a guest appearance. Shooting will last for a week. The second one is a rap singing show. Shoot span is of two months. Only the third offer is a movie and it is expected to be done within the first five months of 2024”

Yibo let out a stifled laugh. _“We are yet to finish 2022 and here you all are preparing my schedules of 2024? … very sad”_

“And how is that sad?”, Du Hua remarked. “Are you not willing to accept the offers? They all are good”

Yibo laughed some more and dropped the pen that he was holding, carefully on the table as he started to arrange the papers spread in front of him and pushed them towards Du Hua.

_“Yes, you are right and I cannot deny that you know me really well. You can read my mind”_

“What happened Yibo?”, Mei Xiu could sense another argument soon-to-be taking place in between YueHua’s CEO and the young actor.

Du Hua rose from her seat and walked towards Yibo. The latter, too, stood up, facing her.

“Why are you doing this? The last time you rejected the two dramas, I did not force you after that. You take random breaks from shoot; I talk with your shooting teams to let you have holidays. But still you are being stubborn like this. Neither do you take care of your health, nor of your career. How will we work Yibo, if you refuse to maintain even an understanding relationship with me?”

Yibo kept looking at her while she reached out to hold his hands and squeezed his palms. “Are you not willing to communicate with me like you used to do before? Still angry with me Yibo for whatever happened? You know what… I was having a conversation with your manager some days before over phone and she gave me a nice advice that I must be patient with you. You are so young. Only 25. You may not understand what is good for you and what is bad. Whose company would bring you good fortune and who will cause you harm”

_“Stop it please…”_ , Yibo pulled his hand away from her grip. _“Stop it… don’t drag Xiao Zhan in here, please. Don’t talk about him. His company is the one I am living for. Don’t speak ill of him”_

Du Hua shifted her gaze to Yibo’s manager. Mei Xiu’s expressions changed all of a sudden and she almost panicked. “Don’t mind him please. I will talk to him”, she assured, pointing towards Yibo.

Yibo smiled at her. _“No JieJie… I won’t sign on those papers”_

“Why?”, Du Hua asked.

_“Because I won’t be working with you anymore. I am not that competent actor who is suitable to meet your demands and handle all these craze”_

The other people in the room stood speechless, shocked at the sudden jolt that came with Yibo’s words.

_“But you don’t have to worry… I will not give you the tension of setting up plans to degrade my image or Zhan-ge’s reputation with the intention of taking revenge because I am leaving your agency, that’s for sure but I won’t join anybody else’s”_

“Wang Yibo… what craziness is this?”

 _“I said don’t worry… I will finish with all of my pending works till the end of the next year and then I will retire from the industry. I don’t really feel like being in this mess any longer. You can have rest of all the money that I will earn from my next works. I don’t need them. Just don’t drag me into this anymore. Leave Xiao Zhan. Let him live. I want to live with him. Leave us alone. If not today, then tomorrow the world will know that he and me are invested into each other in a non-platonic relationship”_ , Yibo chuckled. _“It will create more pressure on you… my Zhan-ge will be under stress if you try to harm him by putting unnecessary false blames on him. So, I am making sure never to cause you any trouble. You have taken care of me for a long time. Thank you for that. Now it’s time. Free me”_

The surprise, at the sudden revelation, stayed on the woman’s face for a whole minute before Du Hua let out a loud laugh, moving her hand in front of her face.

“Do you know what are you saying?”

_“I know”_

“If you leave this industry, what are you going to do? You can do nothing as a normal person anymore. You are an influential public figure; do you know that? It’s impossible to step out and be with the common people, leading a common life”

_“I will do it. You don’t have to worry about me”_

Du Hua gritted her teeth. “And why are you doing all of this? Did he make you his object of……”

Yibo cut her words. _“Please don’t bring him into this. He is a very nice person. He tells me to respect you, be polite with you; a perfect gentleman as we all know him to be. That is not an appearance he puts. Zhan-ge is truly a gentleman. Don’t disrespect him. He is to be always respected and especially before me… I can’t stand anyone insulting him”_

Mei Xiu came upto Yibo and turned him by his shoulder to face her. “What are you saying? You will retire now? Now? You are 25 Yibo… The whole of your career is waiting”

 _“Yeah…”_ , Yibo smiled. _“… someone else, back at home, is waiting for me too”_

“You cannot do this”

_“I can… and I will. If not a non-celebrity then I can become a full-time sportsperson too. There are numerous doors open for me”_

Du Hua was clearly losing her cool. “But why are you required to leave this industry”

_“Because I can’t avoid the scandals that, you fear, may devalue my esteem in the entertainment industry. I am staying with Xiao Zhan now. I did not leave him and I won’t even try to, anymore. You did not get to know about it because my bodyguards and driver had hidden the truth from you on my request. But I now realize that my hiding it from you doesn’t change the fact that I love Xiao Zhan……”_

“Yibo”

_“Yes… I take interest in men. That’s the truth. I am interested in Xiao Zhan. Not now… it has always been like this. Since the day I decided to step into the shoes of Lan Wangji”_

“Whatever you are doing Yibo… rethink your decision. This is no healthy way to escape the truth”

 _“I am not escaping the truth. I am escaping from you because you ask me to deny the truth of my own self”_ , Yibo replied straight at Du Hua’s face.

 _“I honestly won’t engage myself with any other agency. Either its YueHua for me or no one. So, you can sit back and relax. With ‘Wang Yibo’ being gone, you too will be relieved of some major stress in your life”_ , he smiled.

Du Hua tried to convince him to get with the times but Yibo seemed to have taken his firm decision.

_“I do not hate you. I have known you for 12 years by now. How can I hate you? I am not even mad at you anymore. Just let me go. Don’t harm Xiao Zhan because that would not bring me back. Your hurting him will only cause me pain, wherever I will be… Moreover, I am promising to finish all of the contracts that I had signed for. I will attend all shows, endorsements and events. I will not argue with you any longer”_

“You are being foolish, Yibo”

_“I know I am… anyway…… I need to go now. I have a KFC photoshoot tonight at Shanghai. My flight is in a few hours”_

Mei Xiu was also required to travel with him so Yibo looked at her, expecting her to follow him out of the door. Instead, she gave him an empty stare.

Du Hua picked up the contract papers from the table and handed them over to Yibo, once again. “Please don’t do this Yibo… it’s not about money. I swear… I only care about money - this is not true. I care about you too”

_“I am a homosexual”_

“Yibo please…”

_“I am in a romantic relationship with Xiao Zhan”_

“Please…”, she pleaded and held his hands.

_“Our country did not legalize homosexuality, yet”_

“Yibo…”

_“And you all are not ready to accept me with him”_

Du Hua went silent.

 _“I cannot be with anyone who does not accept him with me”_. Yibo gave the papers back to her and took some steps behind, approaching the exit. Du Hua’s hold on Yibo loosened.

“Wang Yibo”, she called him in a low tone.

 **“I Quit”** , came the reply in a mumble and Yibo walked out of the door with his bodyguards following him.

**31st December 2022**

While waving his hand at the ear shattering screams of the people, Xiao Zhan could finally make his way from the parking lot to the entrance of the building. Neon lights flashed everywhere like police sirens but they were much more colourful. The continuous sounds of camera shutters and flash lights were deafening his ears and blinding his vision. Yet he turned around to wave at the cheering crowd and bowed respectfully. His bodyguards and the police were having a hard time controlling the fans who were trying hard to break through every barrier that was keeping them from reaching him.

**“ASIA’S BEAUTY”**

**“ASIA’S BEAUTY”**

The horde of fans screamed.

Xiao Zhan stood there for another minute, smiling and waving at everybody before he turned back and let out a breath, stepping inside.

The gallery was supposed to be calmer, atleast Xiao Zhan had expected that. Only VIP members and their staffs were allowed entry into the building and he was looking forward to sit quietly at a corner and give his ears some rest. But as he was gradually walking further towards the celebration hall, it was clear that whoever was present inside were no less crazy than the fans standing outside.

A few security guards on the way bowed at him. Xiao Zhan, as gentleman as everyone knew him to be, acknowledged their greetings, bowing in return and he finally entered the hall.

The music, inside, was so loud that it made his skin tingle and his lungs felt like mush. Over the roar of music, a distant, hazy chatter could be heard. Xiao Zhan couldn’t make out any words, but the sounds of laughter and ladies’ discussions rang in his ears and wouldn’t seem to stop.

The room was not brightly lit. He took a quick glance at his watch. 8:13 pm. Was it already New year? Why did not they turn on some lights for everybody to recognize each other properly?

He looked around. A few familiar faces could be seen, in the dimly lit room, who were jumping in a huddled group as the song that was playing got louder.

The organizer of the function came forward and greeted him. They shook hands and the man, very politely, asked him to join the other celebrities in the dance.

Xiao Zhan smiled at him, courteously rejecting and took his seat on a nearby chair in the front row of the VIP box. His manager sat down beside him.

He leaned towards her, almost shouting into her ears. “When will the party begin?”

“It already began”

“I mean the main ceremony”

“After 10 pm”, she shouted to make herself audible through the loud music.

“Why did we come so early?”

“I don’t know. You are not required to perform. You are one of the Chief guests. Why are you bothered?”

“Because I am required to stay here till midnight without any reason”

His manager laughed at him. “You are _‘The Xiao Zhan of China’_. You are expected to be present here without complaining”

Xiao Zhan frowned.

A few people came to him. He greeted them but every time gently turning down their invitations to dance, until Jonny Huang literally threatened to lift him up and throw him in the dancing crowd if he refused to go. Xiao Zhan had no other option. Jonny Huang and Zhang Yixing dragged him to join them and they danced.

Having Xiao Zhan in between them, everybody’s eyes were on him. He danced alternately with Yang Zi, Dilireba and Yang Mi. Someone passed on some expensive looking masks decorated in gold and silver to each one of them. All lights were turned off barring the glowing disco ball hanging on top of them from above the ceiling.

The music grew louder as the whole room danced together. Xiao Zhan did not even know with who was he matching steps with. He just knew he was definitely getting more and more tired and was feeling quite lonely amidst the crowd. Someone came and gave him a gentle hug, whispering beside his ear, “How are you?”

Xiao Zhan recognised the voice and out of natural instinct, he held the person’s hand and bowed a little, greeting him. “I am good, Wang Han ge. Thank You. Would you like to dance?”

“Oh my god! Please spare me. I just came to see you”

Xiao Zhan was sure none of them was able to see each other’s face clearly, yet he could hear the other man laughing softly. He too flashed a smile at him.

Wang Han left and a minute later someone else threw herself at his arms. He danced with her for a while before recognizing her to be Yang Zi.

“Will you like a drink?”, she shouted beside his ear.

“No… no… I am not drinking”

They continued dancing, melting into the roar of the music.

“C’mon Xiao Zhan, everybody is drinking. One sip you can take”

Xiao Zhan was still on medication and he knew Yibo would be arriving anytime soon. In case he got drunk, it would really be very embarrassing for his manager, before the media, and Yibo would definitely not approve of this carelessness. So, he kindly refused. “Not today… please”

She nodded at him - a very understanding person she was, as Xiao Zhan knew her to be.

Someone’s shoulders, accidentally, bumped against his from behind and they both immediately turned around to apologize to each other. What the heck was actually going on! Could people not turn on the lights? The ladies were wearing high heels and ankle length gowns. Anybody could trip and fall down. Xiao Zhan had been to uncountable parties but today it seemed darker than usual.

Another person held his hand and they swayed their bodies, taking a few matching steps, along with the flow of the music.

“Xiao Zhan”

“Hey Yu Bin”, Xiao Zhan beamed with delight and hugged his ex-costar, recognizing the voice.

“You are alone today?”

“Who else shall I be with?”

“C’mon… there are so many actresses”

“I am dancing alternately with each one of them”, there was a hint of teasing in his voice.

Yu Bin laughed and kept holding his hand, dancing some more. “Sorry dude… need to go. I brought my fiancé”

“Is it? Give my regards to sister-in-law-would-be”

“Why shall I? You should come and meet her yourself, A-Zhan. Last time it was fun. She often talks about you”

“Haha… seems like she is already fond of me. I promise to visit soon. Now don’t keep her waiting… go go”, Xiao Zhan patted his back. They hugged and Yu Bin left.

Xiao Zhan thanked his senses and his ears. Fortunately, he was still capable of hearing properly and distinguish between voices over the tremendous loud sound of the music in the room, else it would have been impossible to recognize people in this state.

A while later the music changed to a soft soothing tone. The melody was sweet, drifting though the crowdy atmosphere and it seemed to have calmed everyone down with seconds. People adjusted their positions with their partners and Xiao Zhan could see a group of ladies walking towards the middle of the dance floor and slowly swaying their bodies with the sweet melody. A collection of violinists, harp players and pianists were spotted at one end of the hall where there was some light. Xiao Zhan knew someone would soon come and offer him another dance. He already felt too weary to continue. He must escape and sit somewhere and wait for the actual ceremony to begin.

Just as he was about to make his way out of the crowd, a dark figure, almost of his height, crashed against his body and pushed him back, bringing him again on the dance floor.

Xiao Zhan had already inhaled the familiar enchanting fragrance and before he could take a proper look at the person, a sudden kiss was pressed on his cheek.

Xiao Zhan closed his eyes and smiled before wrapping his arms around the person, taking _him_ in a tight hug. His heart was pumping fast and he was sweating from all the previous dancing. Feeling his back being soothingly rubbed, he let out a long, relaxed breath and waited for his heartbeats to slow down eventually.

This was the only person, Xiao Zhan knew, who had instantly recognized his tiredness and he was no more required to push himself to dance. He could just stand there, hugging, and rest a while. He buried his face into the other’s shoulder and softly called out.

“Darling”

A hand was placed on his chest and was lightly pushed away. Xiao Zhan was confused. He looked at the person in front; face covered under the mask and _he_ grabbed Xiao Zhan’s shirt at the base of his throat, pulling him slowly towards _him_ , as if _he_ owned him.

_“There are people around, Xiao Zhan. Keep your hands off me”_

“Men are dancing with men. Ladies are dancing with ladies”

_“But you can’t with me”_

“Why?”

Xiao Zhan heard only a chuckle in response. He leaned in. “You kissed me out of nowhere and I can’t even touch you?”

_“No, Xiao Zhan”_

“Very fine… No hugging but may I demand for another kiss on my other cheek?”, Xiao Zhan said in a whisper.

_“Beg me”_

“Your Majesty, please”, Xiao Zhan leaned in some more.

Another soft chuckle was heard. A very sweet romantic music was playing in the background. The room was still dark; so dark and crowded that it was certain no one would be paying attention to them.

“Please… your Honour”, Xiao Zhan whispered again and, in a moment, his lower lip was captured in between two familiar teeth. He recognized the taste of the other’s mouth. The kiss was full on, open-mouth, almost sensual. And he loved it. It barely lasted for five seconds; yet he loved how their lips fit like two puzzle pieces.

“When did you come?”

_“A few minutes before. You?”_

“Around thirty minutes ago. I was feeling lonely”

_“There are so many people in here”_

“But you were not here”

 _“I saw you dancing, ZhanZhan. What about trying some more steps with me?”_. And Xiao Zhan felt the touch of the other person’s fingers, intertwining with his own. The entirety of his being began to slowly move with purposeful clarity and absolute control, aiming to follow the strides that his man took along with him. With that soft music, those romantic beats, Xiao Zhan felt alive; one arm of his lover was encircled around his waist and the reality felt awesome.

“How am I supposed to be worthy of the Nation’s Best Dancer?”

_“Mn… you still have rooms for improvement”_

“If you teach me some more, I can also be the best”

Their steps advanced and retreated together.

_“Are you still feeling lonely?”_

“What if I say Yes?”

_“I can help you get rid of your loneliness?”_

“How… you even refused to let me stay in your hug for some time”

_“Well… hugging is not the only option”_

“Then?”

Yibo did not answer the question. Instead, _his_ hand around Xiao Zhan’s waist tightened and _he_ kissed him once more on his cheek.

“You are kissing me but I can’t kiss you back. How unfair?”

_“Baobao is looking extremely gorgeous today. People will kill to throw themselves at you”_

Folding his arms around Yibo’s neck Xiao Zhan whispered beside _his_ ears. “But I throw myself only at this dashing creature dancing with me. I desire for no-one but you”

_“And what if people see?”_

“It’s dark and crowded”

_“Your manager?”_

“Far away”

_“So?”_

“You can let me kiss you, Yibo”

_“I can but I won’t”_

“I am being subjected to injustice”

Yibo laughed softly and leaned to kiss _his_ beloved. Xiao Zhan moved his face away.

“If you don’t let me kiss, I too won’t let you”

_“Testing my patience, baobao?”_

“Yes… what can you do?”

_“I can do so many things… just don’t wanna ruin your expensive Gucci suit, tonight”_

Xiao Zhan chuckled. Yibo brought _his_ mouth close to his ear and kissed on his earlobe. _“This place, amidst the forest, is strange but very interesting at the same time”_

“How?”, Xiao Zhan asked.

The music played over the dance floor fused with their bodies. They were twisting, turning and holding hands, they changed sides. They were happy.

_“Have you ever been to this place before?”_

“Nope”

_“This is actually a picnic spot. There are tree houses and tents around this place. This building is solely meant for various VIP functions but the surroundings are used by Non-VIP people. On special occasions like Valentine’s Day, Christmas, 31 st Night, 1st Jan - people come here with friends and family”_

“Tree house?”, Xiao Zhan hugged his lover tight as they continued dancing to the rhythm of the romantic beats. “Tents? … wow. I have never been to a tree house before”

_“Me neither”_

“But… we cannot go there. It must be congested”

_“I have heard something similar. People come over here all round the year and we cannot expose ourselves, offcourse, but…”_

“But?”

_“But today these places are empty. The police department made sure that for tonight no-one is allowed to use those places. The non-VIP people are forbidden to be around here, after 8 pm”_

“And why is that?”, Xiao Zhan asked.

Yibo pressed a quick kiss on his beloved’s forehead and the elder man smiled.

“Why can’t others come?”

_“For security purposes. Stalkers may install cameras or sneak into the changing rooms of the celebrities”_

“Okay… nice”

_“Hmmm… want to go and check out?”_

Xiao Zhan pulled away from the hug to look at Yibo. He could see only the sparking mask covering his lover’s face.

“Check out what?”

_“A tree house”_

“Now?”

Yibo leaned it and without warning, he kissed Xiao Zhan, for the umpteenth time, on his lips. _“Now”_

“How?”

Yibo unwrapped his hand from around Xiao Zhan’s waist and took some steps behind and turned and walked away. Xiao Zhan was confused. Where did Yibo go?

He followed the direction Yibo went but his lover could not be spotted. He looked around the dance floor. People were engaged into dancing and he was sure no-one noticed a thing.

His phone vibrated in his pocket. Xiao Zhan pulled it out to read the newly arrived message.

_‘ Back door… 15 minutes later. Don’t take off your mask. Just walk straight. I will be waiting for you’_

There was another message.

_‘ Do I need to remind you that you don’t have to be honest with everybody? Tell your manager you are feeling nauseated and going to take rest in your changing room’_

Xiao Zhan typed back. _‘ There is security. How can I escape?’_

A reply came almost immediately. _‘ Want a kiss? And…… may be a gift too. I have a gift for you. Come quick’_

‘This brat’… Xiao Zhan cursed under his breath and before he knew what was he supposed to do and make a nice plan to escape the place, he already found himself lying to his manager and then quietly exiting the party hall. He followed the signboards and found himself walking without knowing where was he heading to.

‘What the fuck? Why the hell am I listening to his shitty demands now?’

************************

While Yibo was walking through the hallway, he noticed the two female figures approaching him from the opposite direction. Seeing them slowing their movements, he walked faster, pausing for a second to bow at one and went past them.

“Yibo”, one of them called him. Yibo did not turn. He literally ran from there.

“See… now he is completely ignoring me”

“And that hurts you, isn’t it?”

“He is getting ruder day by day”

“Then calm him down. Why don’t you tell him that you are worried?”

Du Hua sighed. “He really thinks I am his enemy just because I opposed his love?”

“He truly hadn’t expected you to support him because you have always been disapproving Yibo’s friendship with Xiao Zhan. But he had not expected to be threatened by you, either”, Mei Xiu said.

“What shall I do? Let him continue his affair with a man?”

“Why can’t you?”

“That will ruin him”

“You can protect him. You know you are capable enough to keep all problems away from damaging his career”

“Xiao Zhan will do him no good, Mei Xiu… you don’t understand”

“But you can very well understand that Xiao Zhan loves him like no-one else”. Mei Xiu held Du Hua’s hand. “You have been knowing Yibo for twelve years. You know, he trusts you. He always had. If you suddenly start blackmailing him emotionally, hurt him…… with the intention of separating him from the one he loves, he will naturally try to distance himself from you… isn’t it?”

“Mei Xiu… This world won’t approve”

“But you and me can approve, right? You know Xiao Zhan is very good… very very good. He is really the best person. Let them be with each other…… Yibo loves his profession and now he is ready to leave all of that for Xiao Zhan”

“He is stupid… Yibo is stupid”, Du Hua argued.

“I know he is stupid. But we are not, right? Let’s support him. If you think he is immature, childish, adamant then why don’t you shield him?”

Du Hua pulled her hand away from Mei Xiu’s grip. “You are supporting their acts?”

“I love Yibo. I love Xiao Zhan too. You always refer to Yibo as your boy. Why can’t you love what he loves?”

“He already has decided to quit. I have no more say in this regard”

Standing in the middle of the hallway, Mei Xiu again held Du Hua by her elbows. “Please… you know he relies on you. Any problem he faces, he always calls you for help. Please don’t let his trust fade away so easily”

“Mei Xiu… you are too good for this world. But others are not”

“We are not ‘others’. You are not ‘others’. You have never let Yibo know your point of view. Please talk to him. He is a very sensible man. He will understand how to keep a balance of everything. It will never be a problem to keep his private life from attaining media attention. He just needs a little bit of your help”

Du Hua kept staring at the other lady for a long minute and then jerked her hands off and walked away. Mei Xiu let out a breath and followed her towards the party hall.

************************

The campus of the building was huge, so huge that Xiao Zhan had been walking for over ten minutes, but had not reached his destination yet. He felt like he would have to walk for another thirty minutes to finally find his way that would lead to the exit door.

He feared if he would be able to go back into the party hall again or not. Although he had informed his manager that he needed to take rest, yet he knew she would be looking for him after a while, if he did not return. It occurred to him that he should go back the way he came and call Yibo and tell him that they would catch up later. It would be of a huge risk to disappear suddenly.

But Xiao Zhan did not do it. He kept walking. Who knew which invisible force was pushing him to move that he was desperately wanting to see his lover once. Yibo had called him and he would not go, was that even possible? He had been cursing Yibo all along but still he wished to reach _him_ as soon as possible.

His mobile rang. He pressed the phone to his ear and muttered under his breath. “If I get lost, who is going to find me?”

The person on the other side of the call laughed. _“The exit is clear. Get out from there and turn left. I am waiting”_

Xiao Zhan disconnected the call and hurriedly discovered the back door of the building. As Yibo said, the door was closed but there was no body guarding that place.

How strange!

He quietly pulled it open, stepped outside and closed it behind him.

Xiao Zhan looked around. It seemed like he was standing in the middle of a forest. Not too dense but it was definitely a forest. No-one was around. The dew on the tall grasses drizzled his shoes and the edges of his pants.

He turned left and walked a few feet and there he spotted his man, leaning against a tree. The sparkling mask was still on _his_ face.

All other thoughts disappeared from his mind and he literally ran upto Yibo and picked him up in his arms, spinning around wildly.

_“Wooaaahhh… GeGe… put me down”_

Xiao Zhan did but did not let _him_ go. He hugged Yibo tight and let out a happy sigh. “There are so many uncertainties in my life but one thing I know for sure; my love for you”

_“There you are, Zhan-ge… saying these romantic things into my ears and giving me butterflies”_

“So, is this my new year gift? A living gift”

 _“Hahaha… Zhan-ge”_ , Yibo patted Xiao Zhan’s back. _“Did you run all the way till here? Why is your heart beating so fast?”_

“I was scared”

They stood for time in each other’s arms and Xiao Zhan calmed down slowly. Yibo was still tenderly pressing his shoulders. _“Sorry, Ge… I called you here. Actually, this place is the safest for us to meet. No-one will come here to find us”_

Xiao Zhan broke the hug. “You should have arranged for two chairs, atleast. Who makes his date stand like this?”

_“Are you my date?”_

“You invited me to come here… so what am I?”

Yibo laughed and pulled Xiao Zhan in for a kiss. When they parted away for breath, Yibo grinned at him. _“Can I ask my tonight’s date to look up?”_

“Above is the clear sky”, Xiao Zhan said without breaking eye contact.

_“Up the tree”_

Xiao Zhan looked up and his eyes went wide with amazement.

“Wow, is this a tree house?”

_“Yes”_

“Is this the picnic spot?”

_“Yes… my sweetheart”_

Xiao Zhan kept looking above their heads. “It’s beautiful”

Yibo held Xiao Zhan by his hands. _“Come… let me take you to a date in a tree house”_

“This one?”

_“No… there is another… a few feet away from here. Let's go”_

Holding hands, they walked into the forest.

To be continued…


	40. You & Me make "US"

_"Zhan-ge... be careful. Stop looking at me. Pay attention to your feet. I am just behind you"_

"Why are we having to climb up a rope, Yibo? There should have been wooden stairs, leading to the entrance"

 _"Talk less. Don't fall down. It's dark"_ , Yibo reminded again.

Climbing up the rope ladder, Xiao Zhan was the first one to twist the knob of the wooden door and step in, before bending down to stretch out his arm for Yibo to offer help. 

_"Are you stupid?"_

"Why?"

_"Move away from the door. How am I supposed to get in?"_

"Oh", Xiao Zhan broke into a loud laughter and rolled aside on the floor, making space for Yibo to enter.

"This is gorgeous!", Xiao Zhan exclaimed and looked around the small wooden house. The ceiling height was lower than average for two men as tall as Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo, yet there was a sense of calm and coziness inside.

Like an excited child, Xiao Zhan peeped through the curtains of one of the two small window openings, facing each other on the opposite two walls and carefully looked out at the night sky. Yibo walked towards the bed and sat down on it relaxingly.

_"I am glad you are liking it. It took me some time to make sure that you could be away from the crazy chaos of the inside party, without anyone noticing"_

Leaning his back against the wall beside one the windows, Xiao Zhan turned towards Yibo. "You think nobody has noticed that we are missing?"

_"But nobody called us to enquire about our whereabouts"_

"I don't know. I messaged mom and dad that I will be busy for the next few hours so they should not call me before tomorrow morning", Xiao Zhan grinned.

 _"And... you have put your phone on silent?"_ , Yibo asked.

Xiao Zhan pulled his mobile out of his pocket and without turning it on, he dropped it on the small round table beside. "Here it is... Even if someone calls, it will not ring. No-one shall disturb me while I am with Yibo"

Yibo tittered. _"I too have informed Maa, not to call me before tomorrow morning and here, I am abandoning my phone too"_ , _he_ shoved _his_ hand inside _his_ pant pocket to bring out _his_ own phone and placed it on the bedside table.

_"No-one shall disturb me while I am spending private time with my darling"_

The two lovers exchanged a small affectionate smile, a knowing glance and then the desire to be in each other's embrace got irresistible within a moment. The younger male spread _his_ arms wide at _his_ beloved, inviting him into a hug.

_"Come"_

Even after all this time, this voice of affection still made the elder man feel butterflies in his stomach upon hearing those words, to know that Yibo was calling him to hold him tight; Xiao Zhan was desired irresistibly. The space in between Yibo's arms was his home.

A beaming smile appeared on his face and he took fast steps to the bed where Yibo was sitting. He fell to his knees and slid the remaining distance until he ended up between Yibo's spread out legs. Xiao Zhan's arms circled _his_ waist and he placed his head on his lover's chest to feel the warmth and happiness he was being given.

Yibo felt such love and calm when _his_ beloved was in _his_ arms, like his heart felt content, all other thoughts forgotten, _he_ started running _his_ fingers through the elder man's hair and softly kissed the top of his head. They just held each other for a bit and then Xiao Zhan raised his head to look at _him_.

"How fortunate am I to have found such a romantic partner who brings me to such interesting places"

Yibo bent over and looked into his eyes. _"And what about me? Can you tell me how fortunate am I to have found a partner who says he misses me even when he is among so many attractive people?"_

It finally came to Xiao Zhan that they both had not taken off their glittering masks from their faces. He reached out to take off Yibo's mask first, followed by his own and looked at his lover carefully.

Yibo's face was strong and defined, _his_ features, as if, moulded from a jade stone. _His_ perfect lips looked soft and captivating, ripe for kissing. Xiao Zhan wanted to feel them with his own lips but decided not to do so.

"Did you look at yourself in the mirror, Bo... before coming here? Your face today looks all babyish", he chuckled, "... big eyes, soft skin and a button nose"

Yibo smiled and lifted the other man's chin with his index finger. Before _he_ could say anything, Xiao Zhan gently held _his_ necktie and pulled _him_ down to plant a soft peck on _his_ nose tip.

"Button nose... my favourite... and in this navy blue T-shirt and this glazy silver tie, my lover is looking exceptionally glamorous today – neat, smooth, sculpted, perfect - just the way I prefer...", Xiao Zhan pulled _him_ further towards him, holding _his_ tie, "... I missed you and I cannot wait to kiss you"

Yibo at once pressed their lips against each other for a long searing kiss to show him just how much he too was missed and that it was difficult for Yibo too to restrain himself from kissing him senseless.

 _"Just the way my Xiao Zhan prefers"_ , Yibo mumbled into kiss.

They broke apart to inhale in some air before resuming to sloppily lick into each other's mouth.

"My gift?", Xiao Zhan demanded, managing to let out the muffled words without breaking the kiss.

Yibo pulled away. _"Which gift?"_ , furrowing _his_ brows, _he_ acted all confused.

His beloved lightly hit him on the stomach. "You said you have a gift for me. Where is my gift?"

 _"So, my darling came here for the gift? I was thinking that he came for me"_ , Yibo faked an anger.

Xiao Zhan giggled softly. Still sitting in between Yibo's legs, he brought his head closer to his lover's stomach and then thinking about something he moved back.

"You are wearing such expensive branded clothes, Bo... very dangerous"

_"Why is it dangerous?"_

"I am resisting the temptation to ruin it"

Xiao Zhan's pair of lips, swollen from the hot kissing, rose up in the form of a smirk. He touched the smooth fabric covering Yibo's skin and drew invisible patterns with his fingertips, on _his_ chest and stomach for a while, feeling _his_ firm ripped out muscles from above _his_ shirt. The buttons on _his_ shirt were slowly unbuttoned and Xiao Zhan slid his hand inside.

Yibo chuckled. _"What are you doing?"_

"Seducing my man"

Their eyes locked for a small second and both of them burst into laughter. Xiao Zhan brought his face close to Yibo's stomach again and pressed his lips on _his_ warm skin through the opening of _his_ shirt. The younger man shivered in his arms.

Xiao Zhan looked up at his face. "What if they are looking for us?"

Yibo held him firm by his shoulders and pulled him up, making him sit on the bed beside _him_. Taking their shoes off, they settled down properly facing each other.

_"Let them... We are busy"_

Xiao Zhan hugged Yibo around _his_ waist and dropped his head on _his_ shoulder. "We are busy doing what?"

 _"Kissing... the world's most interesting task",_ replied the other person.

Xiao Zhan broke into a silly grin which reflected on the lips of his lover too.

"You have spoiled me so much, Bo... that now I don't wish to leave this place. Let's buy this tree house and stay here forever"

Yibo held Xiao Zhan's head and tucked it below _his_ chin. _"I am sorry Zhan-ge for hurting you. I should not have done that"_

"Tsk...... Where is this coming from, now? Didn't I say it's okay? I already forgot. I know you love me. It was just a tough phase that we both had to face. But our relationship is not at all affected by that, can't you see? Why bother, Yibo? Let it go"

Xiao Zhan's hand held the side of Yibo's face in a warm caress, his fingers cupping _his_ chin and lifting it up to give a kiss on _his_ forehead. Yibo smiled at the exploding love his beloved was showering on _him_. Pressing him tightly against _his_ chest, Yibo nuzzled _his_ nose against Xiao Zhan's bare throat. _He_ tenderly ran _his_ palm all over _his_ beloved's back. _He_ loved to touch _his_ man – not always in a sensual way. _He_ just loved to touch him – anywhere, be it his face, his hands, his neck, his silky hair and even those parts of his body where _he_ knew nobody had ever touched Xiao Zhan except _him_.

Xiao Zhan patted _him_ gently by rubbing his hands over _his_ shoulders and Yibo felt his warmth seeping into _his_ being and _his_ beloved was comforting _him_ without speaking any word.

Their embrace was tight and Xiao Zhan felt like melting into the younger man's arms like ice-cream on a warm porcelain bowl, like he belonged next to Yibo, like Yibo belonged next to him. And Xiao Zhan did not wish to break the hug. It felt so peaceful to be in here, nobody to disturb them, a calm silence engulfing them. He did not wish to let Yibo go for he knew the moment they would part, the aching to be in _his_ arms would begin anew.

"Yibo", Xiao Zhan called and in a moment his lover angled _his_ head that made it easier for _him_ to seek _his_ beloved's mouth and their lips pressed against each other's in response. Yibo felt the elder's body loosen under _his_ touch and they hovered right there, quite soundless for so long, simply feeling each other's presence.

When they pulled away for breath, Xiao Zhan held _him_ tighter, tugging at _his_ tie. "You are too dressed up today"

His lover let out a fascinating laugh. _"You think so? ... I too agree that these are a bit annoying"_

Xiao Zhan nodded and untied the necktie, loosening it from around _his_ neck and throwing it somewhere on the floor.

 _"Hey... I have to return this dress. Don't be naughty"_ , Yibo affectionately pecked Xiao Zhan's cheek.

"Do you have to return this coat and shirt too?", he asked and unbuttoned the rest of Yibo's dress and slid them off _his_ shoulders, throwing them on the floor.

Yibo let him do whatever he wished to. _"We still have to return to the party, Gege"_

"I will kidnap you and flee away. Nobody will be able to find us", Xiao Zhan whispered beside _his_ ear.

_"Sounds tempting"_

"Very much"

Yibo cupped his beloved's face and looked at him. He saw beauty. Xiao Zhan's eyes were a rich violet that stole Yibo's breath while looking through his soul. His hair smelled like the world's most addictive drug that was making Yibo lose sense. His hands around _him_ were strong yet at the same time gentle. And his wavy lips and the small prominent mole below his lower lip... oh, how much Yibo craved for it. _He_ wanted to kiss that mouth.  
And so _he_ did. _He_ kissed Xiao Zhan again. And _he_ loved it. _He_ loved the way his beloved's body melted into _his_. The way the elder male relented as his hand grabbed _his_ hairs at the back of _his_ head into his fist and held _him_ tighter and tighter, Yibo loved that strength with which he was being held. They continued devouring each other's mouth for a long time... what seemed like ages.

When they broke away, Yibo kissed both of the other man's eyelids and spoke in a low husky voice. _"Zhan-ge... If you don't want me to tear your lavish Gucci suit off, let me get you out of this, quickly"_

Xiao Zhan placed his teeth on a portion of skin on Yibo's chin and sucked on it gently. "When do I ever refuse you?"

It barely took a second for Yibo to register _his_ beloved's consent into _his_ head and _he_ grabbed Xiao Zhan's hand and pushed him against the bed. Xiao Zhan fell back into the soft mattress, head dipping into the warm pillows and he let out a loud laughter as his lover started to unbutton his shirt in quick finger movements.

Discarding _his_ beloved's clothes on the wooden floor, Yibo climbed on top of him and claimed his mouth into his _._ Xiao Zhan began to chuckle into the kiss.

_"What?"_

"Aaahhh... my man is quite bold today. During our first time, you were quite shy, I remember"

Yibo smirked at _his_ words. _"I can be bolder, baby... wanna see?"_

"How will I see, if you don't show me?"

They broke into a fit of more giggles and Yibo fell on top of _his_ beloved's warm chest. Resting _his_ head on Xiao Zhan's shoulder, _he_ took in some deep breaths.

_"Xiao Zhan?"_

"Hmmm"

_"I love you"_

"Okay"

_"I love you so much"_

"Yeah"

Yibo lifted _his_ head up. _"When I first saw you in 2017, in our 'Day Day Up' program, I had developed a huge crush on you. I was really desperate to have your phone number"_

"Hmm... but you were so coward that Han-ge had to ask me for it on your behalf"

Yibo smiled. **_"I was nervous... I thought that it would be good if I could just talk with you for a while. Had I known that I was about to lay undraped with this man, five years from then... I would have proposed to you long back"_**

Xiao Zhan laughed out. **"Had I known that I would so much enjoy the weight of this man, in a bare state, on top of me, I would not have refused to reciprocate your love two years before"**

**_"Your loss. You lost two years of fun with me"_ **

**"What kind of fun?"**

**_"Naked fun"_** , Yibo began to chuckle. Xiao Zhan continued to laugh along with _him_.

 **"Now that I have accepted and confessed my love... why is my lover still keeping me deprived of this unique kind of naked fun?"**. The elder man moved his hands and tugged at the other one's pants.

Yibo pressed _his_ head on Xiao Zhan's shoulder. _"Shit"_

"What?"

_"You are making fun of me"_

"Losing patience?"

_"Dear god, I cannot fight against the thoughts that are going through me now. Your very smell is flooding my senses"_

"Let me see how impatient you are"

The elder person cupped his lover's neck and pulled _his_ head up. They stared at each other, deep into each other's eyes. Xiao Zhan was full of wonder and love, Wang Yibo was full of curiosity and passion. No words were spoken but a story worthy of them was communicated.

  
Yibo leaned in and softly kissed up and down _his_ beloved's neck and throat. He let out little whimpers of anticipation. Yibo worked _his_ way back to Xiao Zhan's tender, smooth lips. As they kissed, Xiao Zhan hugged Yibo's strong, muscular body, pressing _him_ more firmly against his own form.

_"Zhan-ge"_

"Hmm"

Yibo's hands travelled down and holding _his_ beloved's belt, _he_ had already started to slowly unbuckle it.

_"Shall I?"_

"As if you are waiting for my permission"

_"You are not going to refuse anyway, I know that"_

"Very intelligent, Yibo", he playfully slapped the younger man on _his_ shoulder.

They both laughed softly to themselves over their own awkwardness and madness in love.

In a short time, the man lying beneath Yibo was unclad as _he_ pulled out his pants away from his legs and adjusted himself in between _his_ beloved's thighs, spreading them open around _him_.

"This is maddening me", Xiao Zhan said pointing at Yibo's brown jeans and he opened the zip of _his_ pants, helping his lover get out of it. Once they were done, Xiao Zhan dropped it on the floor and looking at each other they both burst out into a deep loud hearty laughter.

_"I have seen it all"_ , Yibo said.

"I too have seen it all"

_"As if you did not see me before"_

"But I am finding something newly exciting this time"

_"Shameless"_

A titter rippled across the otherwise silent room. It was a laughter that Xiao Zhan could feel in his lungs. Yibo quickly stole a warm, sweet kiss from him.

"The windows are open, Bo"

_"But the curtains are drawn"_

"Its 31st December. Do you even realize how chilly the weather is?", Xiao Zhan remarked.

_"It's not at all cold. I have such a hot man sharing his warmth with me"_

Xiao Zhan pinched his lover's cheeks. "You are such a flirt, Bo-di"

 _"Only for my hot Zhan-ge"_ , Yibo whispered and dropped himself once again on top of _his_ beloved and their lips brushed against each other – not innocently, like a tease but hot, fiery, passionate and demanding. When they pulled apart, Xiao Zhan's brows furrowed in dissatisfaction as he chased his lover's distant lips.

_"ssshhhhh... Ge"_. Yibo's voice had the lilt the other man knew so well – _his_ words were simple but the tone... very seductive. Xiao Zhan's head helplessly fell back into the pillows. The smile playing on his lover's lips, he recognised Yibo's desire to play with his yearnings.

Yibo's one hand encircled around Xiao Zhan's waist and his other hand caressed his neck, slow and gentle. _He_ was making _his_ beloved wait, testing his patience; Xiao Zhan could hardly bare it.

_"Shall I go and close the windows?"_

"No". Xiao Zhan at once responded. "No", he repeated.

Yibo smiled and leaned in to suck on _his_ beloved's shoulder blades, the nape of neck; Xiao Zhan wanted _his_ lips, _his_ kisses along his throat and his whole body and Yibo gave him what _he_ knew he wanted.

Yibo planted _his_ mouth on his Adam's apple and at the same time _his_ hand holding _his_ beloved by his waist moved down in between the elder's legs, just below his abdomen and gently brushed _his_ fingers along the other man's sensitive skin. A wave of pure pleasure ran through Xiao Zhan's entire body.

A soft moan escaped his lips and he closed his eyes shut.

The dancer's fingers danced along with the rhythm of the beats that their hearts played together. He touched Xiao Zhan so skilfully up and down that the elder man held his lover for dear life, choking on the cool air of the room.

_"Xiao Zhan"_

"Hmm"

_"Look at me"_

Xiao Zhan's eyes were tightly shut and he groaned. "Shut up"

Yibo abruptly stopped the movement of _his_ hands and _his_ beloved's eyes fluttered open. The younger male chuckled.

"No funny business", Xiao Zhan warned. Yibo moved in for a kiss and Xiao Zhan felt _his_ lips once again against the skin of his chest before it travelled upwards to meet his lips.

**"Yibo... you are going to get a good beating from me, I am telling you"** , Xiao Zhan clenched his teeth, when they parted for inhaling.

 ** _"Why is it, sir?"_** , Yibo teased.

**"Do you have a death wish? What did you stop for?"**

Yibo grinned and brought his face close to his beloved's ear. **_"To see how much is my man longing for my touch"_** and Xiao Zhan found his lover's fingers once again resuming its tactful motion around his delicate skin, down in between his legs – a gesture that made his head spun with pleasure.

Kissing Xiao Zhan's neck again and again was like turning the key to the engine. Once that was done, Yibo knew he would be all _his_. It was not that _his_ Zhan-ge was not already _his_ but _he_ knew _his_ beloved had extreme patience in him. It was so hard, very hard to make him lose the last bit of control over himself. But this man had loved him. _He_ was familiar with even how _his_ Zhan-ge's heart beats. _He_ knew how to make his man give in.

Yibo knew what Xiao Zhan wanted _him_ to do and _he_ was there to fulfil all of his desires – emotional and sexual. Every bit of Xiao Zhan's body craved his lover's touch and he clutched onto _his_ shoulders tight and Yibo's wrist moved more rapidly around him, down there.

Yibo pressed a kiss at the centre of Xiao Zhan's throat softly, with just the right hint of passion, then working _his_ way down all over his chest and abdomen and _he_ settled _his_ head in a more appropriate position in between _his_ beloved's legs.

As soon as his lover's moist, plump lips imprinted on his sensitive region, Xiao Zhan lost all rational thought and was just consumed at the thought of how amazing one touch of his lips could be that hitched his breath.

Gently caressing _his_ beloved's skin with _his_ fingers, Yibo was pressing lingering kisses against pretty much everything that _he_ could reach. One hand curled tightly against the bed sheet and another holding Yibo's hairs in his fist, Xiao Zhan felt his heart would explode at the pleasurable sensation that was occurring inside his stomach.

He breathed hard and a while later his resistance finally gave in as he melted into a soft puddle just like a slice of butter melting inside one's mouth. Yibo let out a soft chuckle and _he_ climbed up to pepper some more kisses on Xiao Zhan's bare chest while continuing to seduce the skin of his inner thigh by grazing _his_ fingers on it.

Xiao Zhan's cheeks flushed red and he tried to suppress his giggling but ended up bursting out in loud laughter.

Seeing his beloved so happy and satisfied, a feel of contentment completely enveloped Yibo's soul.

 _"Why are you giggling for?"_ , _he_ asked.

"It tickles"

_"Huh?"_

"It tickles"

_"Where?"_

"There... aahh... Bo, your fingers", Xiao Zhan continued hard to restrain his laughter.

 _"Down here... it tickles, GeGe?"_. Finding his beloved's reactions amusing, Yibo teased him some more.

"Stop playing with me, brat... will you?", Xiao Zhan clenched his teeth and Yibo laughed soundly.

 _"Baby is so impatient... what do you want?"_ , Yibo said teasing _his_ beloved as _his_ fingertips drew invisible patterns on all of the regions where _he_ knew would send electric tingles into the elder's body.

_"What do you want, baby?"_ , Yibo asked again and Xiao Zhan cupped _his_ face in his hands to join their lips. _His_ beloved's body scent was intoxicating. Yibo moved _his_ mouth to kiss Xiao Zhan's earlobe, then down his neck to his collarbone before coming right back up for the lips _he_ knew would be waiting.

Xiao Zhan was the first to break the kiss. He held Yibo firmly by _his_ waist and flipped him over the bed, with his lover now lying on _his_ back and the elder person on top of _him_ , adjusting his legs on both sides of Yibo's hips.

"Enough of teasing me...", Xiao Zhan hissed under his breath and he brought his face closer to Yibo's and pecked _his_ chin, his mouth travelling down to rest on _his_ throat and he peppered _him_ with kisses.

 _"Haha, GeGe... I think I am quite a pro at youuuu...... aaahhhh"_ , Yibo's words stayed locked inside _his_ mouth and only a soft whimper escaped _his_ throat when _he_ felt _his_ beloved's touch right at the place that made every feel in _him_ go numb, except for this amazing sensation that Yibo did not think _he_ was in the awareness to describe.

Xiao Zhan held _him_ by _his_ chin and softly kissed _his_ cheek.

"Why did you stop?", Yibo held his wrist, trying to direct its motion on _him_ , as _he_ felt Xiao Zhan's hands pausing its movements around _him_.

"Will you like to try me, Yibo?"

_"Now?"_

"Yes"

_"Zhan-ge... will that be okay?"_

Xiao Zhan pressed his lips on Yibo's. "Offcourse... why not?

 _"It will hurt you, baby"_ , Yibo said while cradling his beloved's face in between _his_ palms.

"Too much?"

Yibo smiled at him. _"No... just a little"_

"Even if it's too much, I will still be wanting to do it with you"

Yibo flipped Xiao Zhan over while _he_ took a position where they were just an inch apart from connecting.

_"Are you sure?"_

Xiao Zhan nodded, **"This waiting to make love with you has been too long. I am offcourse sure about it; I am sure about you and about us. I know once we go there, once we are that intimate, I'll be more in love with you and I want you, only you and nobody else. I want you to lead me. You trusted me the last time we did it. This time I need to feel the same. This is something I want; that feel – the desire and determination that I'll keep you, that you want me to keep you. That's all it is"**

Yibo did not need any further assurance to be convinced about how much Xiao Zhan was craving for _him_.

 _"Look at me, baobao"_ , Yibo said and their eyes met.

It had always been written in their gazes, a chemistry, a seed of love, an invitation to learn about the other. Their gazes lasted a full of five whole seconds, enough for each other to hear their unspoken yearnings. Nothing needed to be said, so many years of pining and separation had already taken care of the message.

"I am looking at you Yibo and I gave you a long speech about how much you are desired and let me tell you that there is nothing innocent about the way I want you so stop wasting time and..." Yibo shut him up with a kiss.

They both knew it was coming. They both wanted it. What delighted them the most was that they both knew they were wanted by their other halves.

Yibo slowly sheathed himself into the spot from where warmth radiated. It was not like in films or stories but more magical, more real. Xiao Zhan's eyes shut tight. It took them some time to get adjusted to the pain and discomfort before the pleasure took over them, spreading through their souls.

Yibo hugged Xiao Zhan tight in _his_ embrace and slowly increased the pace of movement of the lower half of _his_ body as _he_ let the other man dig his nails into _his_ shoulders, pressing his face into _his_ neck. Yibo knew Xiao Zhan would leave marks over _his_ skin, feeling the intensity of the kisses that his beloved was planting on _his_ arms and shoulders but _he_ really did not wish to stop the feeling of his teeth against _his_ skin.

Their union made their togetherness unique; their bonding special. It made them each other's twin souls; each other's companions by divine design.

They continued with their love making session for another whole hour. In that silence all of their secrets were laid bare, all of their passions and the spark of love that existed between them. Yibo continued to move in rhythm, as if the dancer in _him_ was tapping his toes to the beats of the music that _he_ was well accustomed to; in that moment, in _his_ love, in _his_ growing rhythm, Xiao Zhan felt strong. The music of the singer and the steps of the dancer found their ways into the secret places of each other's souls.

Xiao Zhan did not need paradise because he had found Wang Yibo.

Xiao Zhan did not need dreams because the best one was right there in his arms, proclaiming _his_ love for him.

Reaching _his_ climax, Yibo's energy was spent and he fell with _his_ full weight on _his_ beloved's chest. Xiao Zhan reached out for the blanket beside and threw it on top of their entangled bodies, feeling more warm, safe and romantic.

They remained silent.

Yibo's slow breathing was the sweetest melody to Xiao Zhan's ears.

Xiao Zhan's touch around Yibo's form made the younger male feel that attraction for _his_ beloved so deep, as if this was the start of a song, something that played on and on, something so soothing to _his_ soul.

"Love?"

_"Mn"_

"You okay?"

_"I should ask you this first"_

Xiao Zhan hit _him_ with fake rage and a lot of genuine affection. "Why are you not asking, then?"

_"Untangle your legs from around me, let me move"_

"No... wait"

Yibo's chuckle was light and laced with a hum of amusement at the matter. They remained unmoving for a long time before Yibo slowly slipped to the space beside Xiao Zhan, on the bed, keeping _his_ beloved locked into _his_ arms. _He_ adjusted the thick blanket on top them and gently massaged his waist. _"Awww, baby... are you hurting, baobao?"_

Xiao Zhan snuggled closer to Yibo's chest, enjoying the pleasing affection being poured onto him. "Talk less... put some more pressure"

Yibo kissed his forehead and rubbed his beloved's back putting some more pressure up and down his spine, shoulder and tailbone.

"Yibo"

_"Mn"_

"Stay like this with me"

_"Forever"_

"Don't part from me"

_"Never"_

"Okay"

_"_

_You know Zhan-ge, I will never leave you"_

"I know... still it feels good to hear from you"

Yibo lips rose up into a gentle smile. Xiao Zhan looked at _him_ and smiled back. They could see how their growing happiness came from deep inside to light their eyes and spread into every part of them. They could feel each other's joy in the way they both relaxed into each other's embraces. It was beautiful.

_"Baby"_

"Hmm"

_"Happy New Year, Xiao Zhan"_

Xiao Zhan looked around. Their watches, mobiles were lying far away and he could not even check the time.

"Is it past 12?"

_"Mn"_

"How do you know?"

_"Can you hear the sound of fireworks? Its new year, love"_

Xiao Zhan smiled big; his eyes crinkled at the corners. **"Wow... what a great way to welcome new year. I am lying unclothed into my Bo-ge's arms after enjoying an awesome sex..."**

 ** _"....ssshhhh...... it's not sex. Its love making in between you and me, remember?"_** , Yibo returned him a broader grin.

**"Yes... a passionate love making between Yibo and me...... Happy New year to you too, darling"**

As soon as the last syllable escaped the elder's lips, he found himself interlocked in a kiss. The tender touch they shared made the room around them disappear. There wasn't anything else in the world except the burning flame of their love.

To be continued......


	41. Yin to his Yang

“Wow… look, the red one is extremely beautiful… and the green flaming balls look like a colorful cake”

Xiao Zhan was so excited that he had even clapped his hands a couple of times, looking at the trail of sparks of the fire crackers as they flied though the air and then broke into, what seemed like, multiple comets.

“Did you see that fountain shaped firework and the one beside it, looking like a cone? … hey, hey there is another…… Bo-ge”, Xiao Zhan shook Yibo by _his_ shoulders.

“There, there… outside. Look… I said look”, he held _his_ chin and directed them towards where his finger was pointing to at the sky.

_“Yes, I am seeing…… there is another red spider like effect in the sky, much like fine lace”_

“Beside it, there is a green flower like aerial pattern”

 _“Indeed, these are beautiful. We can still go back and take a close look at them if you wish to”_ , Yibo suggested.

“No”, Xiao Zhan wrapped Yibo’s arms more tightly around his body, which was already there squeezing him in a cocoon hug, and adjusted the blanket over them, snuggling into its warmth. His bare back was pressing against Yibo’s chest and he rested the behind of his head on his lover’s shoulder, while continuing to look outside the window.

“I feel good to be here. I don’t want to go”, Xiao Zhan smiled and turned his head to take a look at the man sitting behind him; their naked bodies tangled in a hug. Their mouths met for a slow, soft and smooth kiss before they were interrupted by another roar of fireworks up in the sky.

A single spark of light exploded into thousand extraordinary particles of light, giving the appearance of a multicolored flower decorated up in the sky. The beauty of the flame captured the attention of the couple.

_“Shall I bring your shirt, baby? Are you cold?”_ , Yibo asked and bent _his_ head to press _his_ mouth on Xiao Zhan’s bare shoulder and neck. His skin felt the graze of his lover’s lips and the gesture made his head spun in pleasure.

“No”, a small deep moan answered back. He knew the younger man’s intense kiss would leave marks on his skin that he would not want anybody to see but he really did not wish to stop the feel of his lover’s ever-growing love for him.

Yibo rested _his_ chin on _his_ beloved’s shoulder.

“Are you sure our agencies won’t file a police complaint, reporting us missing?”

_“Mn… don’t worry about that. It has just been five hours since we left the party”_

“What the hell!”, Xiao Zhan pulled away from Yibo, eyes widened. “We have been making out for four goddam hours… what?”

Yibo brought him back into _his_ affectionate embrace, once again, adjusting the blanket to keep the warmth inside. _“How can it be four hours? We are sitting here like this for the last thirty minutes”_

“Okay… cut these thirty minutes from four hours. What were we doing the remaining time?”

_“Mn… but it felt normal. Like I would not mind continuing for another four hours”_

“No, no Yibo… it was too much today. We should seriously start getting dressed up now”

_“Was it really too much?”_

“Offcourse… you hungry lion”

 _“Really… I was hungry? and what about my baobao who was not even willing to get me out of……”_ , Yibo’s words stayed in _his_ throat as Xiao Zhan pressed his palm over _his_ mouth.

“Shut up…”

Yibo removed his hand and pressed a kiss on Xiao Zhan’s cheek. _“Okay… but what to do of the mess that we created over here?”_ , _he_ chuckled.

“Let’s keep tonight’s rent, along with a note on that table… and about the damaged bedsheet and blanket, I am not going to pay for them… you will”, Xiao Zhan faked a rage and hit Yibo on _his_ shoulder, before untangling their arms and legs from around each other and got up to get dressed.

Yibo giggled softly and followed him.

**********

“Yibo”

 _“Mn”_ , Yibo replied, while rolling the sleeves of _his_ shirt.

“I have something to say”

_“What?”_

“First promise me that you are not going to over react”

**_“XIAO ZHAN…WHEN DO I OVER REACT?”_ **

“ **EVERY TIME** …… When I confessed my love to you, you cried… when I hugged you some days before, inside the washroom, you cried… If you cry one more time, **I AM GOING TO THROW YOU OUTSIDE THE WINDOW** ”

Yibo looked daggers at _his_ beloved.

**_“STOP TALKING NONSENSE AND TELL ME WHAT IS IT”_ **

Xiao Zhan stared angrily back at _him_ , “Before we leave this place… I have something to give you. I had totally forgotten about it”

_“Give me? What?”_

“A new year present”. Xiao Zhan shoved his hands inside his pant pockets, struggling to find what he was looking for.

“It was supposed to be in here… but…”. He paused to look carefully into the inside pockets of his suit. “aahh… got it”

Yibo’s eyes shone with excitement. _He_ came closer to _his_ beloved. _“Give it to me”_

“Patience, darling”. Xiao Zhan brought a small red velvety box from inside and held it in front of Yibo.

_“Oh, a ring… are you going to gift me a ring?”_

“Not a ring”. Xiao Zhan moved his hand away when Yibo attempted to take the box from him.

_“Give it to me, Zhan-ge”_

“No”

 _“Baobao, give it to me”_ , Yibo narrowed _his_ eyes. _“I said **GIVE MY GIFT** ”_

“I will… I will… but not like this”

Yibo was clearly losing _his_ patience. _“Baby… give that to me”_

“Wait…”, Xiao Zhan raised his hand up and took two steps behind. “You don’t move. Stay there”

Yibo did not say anything, but silently kept looking, frowning at the elder male.

Sudden surprise and shyness spread all over _his_ face and _his_ heart was left hammering in _his_ chest when _he_ saw Xiao Zhan getting down on one knee and holding out the small box before _him_.

**“Had you been a girl, I would have proposed you now for marriage, but… never mind……”**

Yibo let out a silent laugh. Xiao Zhan continued, **“Since my lover is born a man and not a woman… so, I love a man and not a woman…”**

 ** _“Shut up, Zhan-ge… what are you saying?”_** , Yibo giggled and covered _his_ cheeks with _his_ hands, trying to hide _his_ flushed face.

Xiao Zhan threw his head back and laughed. **“anyway, the end line is… I love you Wang Yibo. Happy New Year, darling”**

****

**_“Stupid… Stand up first”_** , Yibo laughed some more. Xiao Zhan waited for their laughter to die down and then he stood up and pulled Yibo closer to his chest.

His lover threw _his_ arms around him and hugged him tight.

**_“You are so bothering… GeGe”_ **

**“Yet, you are happy with me”**

**_“Shut up… will you show me what is there inside the box?”_ **

**“Oh yes… you are blushing so much that I forgot to give you the gift”** and he opened the box. Yibo’s astonishment reached _his_ mouth from _his_ eyes and _his_ jaws dropped in amazement as _he_ looked at the thing peeping from inside.

****

**_“You… you… this chain… Ge, its mine”_ **

**“Yes, it’s yours… Who else deserves this, if not you?”**

Xiao Zhan unbuttoned the top three buttons on Yibo’s shirt and leaned forwards to drop a peck on his lover’s exposed chest. He held the necklace in both his hands and tied it around Yibo’s neck and kissed _his_ throat and then the pendant hanging against Yibo’s bare skin.

**“Your neck used to look so empty without it”**

Yibo held the ox-head Gucci pendant in between _his_ fingers and pressed a kiss over it. **_“You repaired the broken chain?”_**

 **“Hmm”**. Xiao Zhan bent his head and planted a kiss on Yibo’s finger tips that was holding the pendant and murmured slowly. **“** **Just where it belongs** **”**

Yibo once again wrapped _his_ arms around _his_ beloved.

**_“This pendant is You for me. The first gift that you gave me. It used to remind me so much of you that I did not dare to repair it and wear it again… Thank you”_ **

Xiao Zhan returned the hug.

**“I hate you, so much”**

Yibo made a face and slapped _his_ beloved lightly while holding him in _his_ arms. **_“I too don’t love you at all and I won’t give you your New Year present”_**

Xiao Zhan knitted his brows and pulled away from the embrace. “You have a new year present for me? What?”

_“But I won’t give you”_

“Bo, please”

 _“No”_ , Yibo nuzzled _his_ nose against Xiao Zhan’s Adam’s apple.

**“BO-GE”**

_“ **NO** … I won’t give”_

**“YIBO… GIVE IT TO ME NOW”**

_“Uffff… why are you shouting? Wait here”_

Xiao Zhan put up a face of an annoying cat.

Yibo broke their hug.

_“Wait here”_

He walked upto the bed and picked up _his_ coat. Shoving _his_ hand into its inside pockets _he_ brought out a white envelope and handed it over to Xiao Zhan.

“What is this?”

_“Open it”_

Xiao Zhan carefully pulled out the paper from inside and took at quick glance over the first few lines written on it.

An emotion of pleasant surprise crossed his face.

 **“Yibo…”**. Xiao Zhan looked up at his lover’s face.

 ** _“Yes, Sir”_**. Yibo was smiling.

**“You… you… Oh My God!”**

**_“You are welcome”_** , Yibo laughed.

Xiao Zhan’s face beamed with delight. **“You actually bought that flat in Baotou… oh my goodness… really? I am so happy”**

**_“Yes, you said you wanted to live there with me. So, I did some research about that place and yes you were right - it’s one of the least populated places of our country. The media won’t reach us. We can meet over there. That would be our new home - Yours and Mine”_ **

Xiao Zhan hugged _him_. **“If I could, I would have brought the moon from the sky and give it to you to express my joy. I can’t even say how happy am I. You fought with me that morning when I was talking about buying this apartment for us and then you left… I did not realize that you were actually listening to me”**

Yibo planted one small kiss against his beloved’s temple. **_“Baobao… I too am eagerly looking forward to have a home with you”_**

**“So, earlier plan cancelled? Let’s meet at our new place on the 5 th Jan”**

**_“No, stupid… the flat which I bought is not a VIP apartment. It is unfurnished. There is not even a bed, let alone wardrobes and dining table. Where are we going to eat and sleep?”_ **

They both laughed loudly.

**“So, we first need to buy furniture for our home?”**

**_“Yes baby”_ **

Xiao Zhan looked again at the property papers. **“aww, such an adorable gift, Bo-ge. I love it so much. How I wanted to buy this place! After you left, I did not get another opportunity to think about it again”**

Yibo gave _his_ beloved a soft peck on his nose tip. **_“Sorry baby… see I came back to you and I came along with our home”_**

And they kissed some more.

“Let’s go back”, Xiao Zhan suggested.

_“Okay… but both of us are looking completely wrecked. I have my make-up kit with me. Come to my changing room. We need to look presentable”_

“Yibo… if anyone finds out, we are certainly going to die”

They giggled soundly.

_“GeGe, my make-up skills are really bad. Please help”_

“Don’t worry. I am a pro make-up artist too”, Xiao Zhan winked.

_“Aaahhh… my painter partner. What a privilege am I enjoying!”_

They laughed together.

Xiao Zhan pulled out his wallet and kept some money on the bedside table. There was a notepad and a pen beside. Yibo quickly wrote a short note for the owner of the tree house.

_“GeGe”_

“What?”

_“How much did you pay?”_

“I think it’s enough”

 _“Actually… GeGe”_ , Yibo scratched _his_ head. _“About the door lock… umm, I broke it open”_

“What?”, Xiao Zhan stared at _him_ for a while before letting out a sigh. “What am I going to do with you?”

 _“Sorry… please pay for the door lock too”_. Yibo came closer to _his_ beloved and rested _his_ head on his shoulder.

“Don’t touch me… brat”. Xiao Zhan kept some more money on the table and let out another sigh. “I am seriously going to be bankrupted soon”

Yibo chuckled. _“Sorry”_

“By the way, Yibo… I paid for the bed sheet and blankets too. You made a mess out of them. So, you are going to give me my money back”

_“I am going to give you shit”_

“Wang Yibo, is this how you respect your lover on a New year”

_“And what are you doing? Asking money from this poor soul… you cheapskate, annoying…”_

“You are a brat”

_“You are an idiot”_

“Shut up and climb down the ropes carefully. If you fall down, I know you are going to make me pay for this expensive suit of yours, too”

_“GeGe… are you are more concerned about your money and not me getting hurt?”_

“No… I am not concerned about you. I hate you”

_“I hate you too. Shut the door properly and be careful with your steps”_

“You don’t have to worry about me”

_“Stop getting on my nerves”_

**“WANG YIBO”**

**_“XIAO ZHAN”_ **

Sneaking into Yibo’s changing room, the two men quickly closed the door behind them. Xiao Zhan sat on the chair at the dressing table and Yibo seated himself on the table in front of _his_ beloved, leaning against the big mirror while setting _his_ two legs on both sides of the elder’s body. They stared at each other for a while and holding their stomachs they burst into a heavy laugh loudly and heartily.

“It was fun, Bo”

_“It was adventurous”_

“Which part was more adventurous? The bed session or the rope climbing experience?”

_“Undoubtedly, I will choose the former, Zhan-ge”_

They laughed some more, uncontrollably, and stopped only when they gasped for air.

“Okay… cease. Now quickly get me the hair brushes, Yibo, and your make-up box… Let’s get ready”

Yibo pointed towards the bag pack lying on the couch beside.

Xiao Zhan got up from his seat and holding his lover by _his_ shoulder, he made _him_ sit on the chair. He brought Yibo’s bag to the dressing table and pulled out the necessary items from inside the bag.

When everything was arranged on the table, Xiao Zhan fondly gazed at Yibo’s face and leaned down to kiss _his_ lips softly.

“I love you”, the elder male whispered.

 _“I love you not”_ , came the reply and they giggled for a short second before Xiao Zhan grabbed the make-up brushes and lightly brushed the contouring shadow around the perimeter of his lover’s face, including _his_ forehead, cheek bones and jawline.

It took them around thirty minutes to get ready and look presentable, before Xiao Zhan finally dropped the colour palette on the table and settled himself on Yibo’s lap.

“I could not do it as perfectly as our make-up jiejie does but you look good”

Yibo clasped _his_ hands around the elder's hip. _“Mn… it’s okay Zhan-ge. You too look good”_

“I will miss you, Bo-di. But I can’t even make you stay. You need to go home. Uncle and Auntie are very important”

Yibo patted his waist gently. _“Offcourse, they are and you are no less”_

“I know”

_“We will meet in five days. Did you place the order of my parents’ gifts?”_

“Yes, they will arrive tomorrow at your house. Don’t worry about that”

_“I am not worrying… I am just saying that you are the world’s best and most…”_

Their moment was interrupted by the loud bang of the door being opened all of a sudden as Du Hua along with the managers of the two actors entered the room, without prior notice. Startled by the sound, Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo turned around and spotted the three women standing at the entrance, brows knitted, glaring at them disdainfully.

“Have you two totally lost it?”, Xiao Zhan’s manager came forward, staring at the two men sitting on the chair while clinging onto each other in an intimate position.

Xiao Zhan jumped off Yibo’s lap, in a second, while the latter one rose up and spitefully looked at their unwelcomed visitors.

_“Did you all forget the basic manners of knocking at someone’s door before entering?”_

“Yibo… Quiet”, Xiao Zhan held _him_ by _his_ wrist.

_“Zhan-ge…”_

“Yibo”

The younger man pressed _his_ lips together, almost forcing himself to keep _his_ mouth shut.

Du Hua directed her gaze towards Xiao Zhan. “He is careless and negligent but aren’t you the elder one, Xiao Zhan? Couldn’t you stop him? Instead of forbidding him from continuing with these silly acts, you too happily joined him”

 ** _“DON’T BLAME HIM”_** , Yibo shouted at her.

“Yibo… No”, Xiao Zhan held _his_ hand and pulled _him_ towards the side of his chest. “Bo-di… this is not how I expect you to behave”. He shook his head at his lover.

_“Zhan-ge…”_

“No”, the elder man wrapped his hand around Yibo’s waist, ignoring the people standing before them.

Yibo sighed but did not say anything more.

Xiao Zhan turned towards Du Hua. **“I know it was a reckless act. We both are really sorry about that”**

“Sorry? Did you even check the time? It has been six hours”

**“We are sorry”**

“How can you Xiao Zhan?”

**“Why can we not?”**. Xiao Zhan narrowed his eyes as he gazed at the three of them. **“Had you allowed Yibo to peacefully meet me in private, without putting hundreds of restrictions on him, we could have managed to keep our personal matters away from gaining other’s attention”**

“So, you are blaming me now?”

**“I am not blaming you. I am telling you that instead of burdening Yibo with the thoughts of various scary possibilities or teaching me what is right and what is wrong, you should first know your limits. An agency’s task is to sponsor a celebrity and not interfere into the business that concern his private matters”**

To be continued……

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is an early update because I am so eager to finish with this story😂


	42. Settling Storms

“So, you are blaming me now?”

**“I am not blaming you. I am telling you that instead of burdening Yibo with the thoughts of various scary possibilities or teaching me what is right and what is wrong, you should first know your limits. An agency’s task is to sponsor a celebrity and not interfere into the business that concern his private matters”**

Du Hua narrowed her eyes in gathering anger. “And here I was wanting to have a peaceful talk with you… expecting that you, being the more sensible person as the world knows you to be, will understand the seriousness of the situation”

 **“May I know what made you think that Yibo and me are not being serious and simply fooling around here?”** , Xiao Zhan asked.

“You both left the party without telling anyone and we three were having to cover up for you - telling lies after lies, finding non-sense excuses so that no one questions why the two chief guests disappeared all of a sudden and that too exactly at the same time and none of you were receiving our calls, dammit”, Du Hua shouted at him.

**“Today we were absent from the party but this is not what turned you against us. You have been opposing our relationship since the start. This is why we chose not to attend your calls”**

“I oppose whatever is in between you two because this is absolutely unacceptable. This can harm Yibo’s career and his reputation is all that I care about”

**“Trust me… I care about Yibo and his image to the extent that you will have difficulty envisaging it”**

“Then why don’t you give up chasing him”

A look of bitterness swept across Yibo’s face. _He_ clenched _his_ teeth, trying hard to tamp down _his_ rising rage as much possible.

**_“I want not him but you to give up chasing me. Whatever happened, Zhan-ge is not to be blamed for it. I had asked him to come out of the party”_ **

“You told him and he had to go?”, Du Hua snapped at him.

 ** _“I am apologizing for that. Don’t tell him anything”_** , Yibo said.

What was right or wrong or justified or unjustified before Love? Yibo would apologize a thousand times for an offence _he_ never committed if that would mean people would not accuse Xiao Zhan of anything.

 _His_ Zhan-ge was the world’s best man. He did not deserve to be treated like this, especially for something that was solely Yibo’s idea. _He_ could not stand _his_ love being insulted, whatever might be the reason. _He_ could not see Du Hua or anybody else misunderstanding Xiao Zhan.

Mei Xiu quickly approached the two men standing in the middle of the room. Holding Yibo by _his_ wrist, she attempted to part _him_ from Xiao Zhan. “Yibo, come with me… we need to talk”

 ** _“No… I won’t go”_** , Yibo immediately tried to shrug her off _him_.

“Yibo… we need to talk about something important. Go with her”, Du Hua said.

Before Yibo could react further and pull himself from her grip, _he_ sensed _his_ beloved’s hand around _his_ waist, tightening more.

 **“I think you heard him the first time. He said he will not go”**. Xiao Zhan was hugging Yibo securely against his chest… so tight as if he was unwilling to let _him_ move even an inch, afraid that his lover would vanish if he loosened his hold onto _him_.

“Xiao Zhan”, the older actor’s manager tried to interrupt.

 **“I think I too was clearly audible the first time… Yibo will not go. Leave him”** , Xiao Zhan’s voice was calm but sounded determined. The other three people were quite staggered to see the change in expressions on the elder man’s face, his jaws were clenched tight, brows furrowed as he stared at Yibo’s hand that was in Mei Xiu’s grip. She silently let go of the hand.

He turned towards Du Hua. **“I believe that both of us are matured enough to handle our lives by our own selves. Please stop forcing Yibo into anything that he wishes not to do. I know we have been a little careless…”**

“A little careless? The government officials are present here tonight, Xiao Zhan”, Du Hua cut his words.

Xiao Zhan inhaled and exhaled twice, trying hard to keep maintaining his calm composure. Yibo sensed his discomfort and lifted _his_ own hand up to circle it around _his_ beloved’s waist, from behind, without anybody noticing.

Looking straight at the elder male’s face, _he_ called. **_“GeGe”_**

Xiao Zhan did not respond to _him_. Keeping his gaze focused on the woman in front he said, **“I agree we have been too careless. It was not right to be so clumsy especially when we know that the censor board chairman is present here too”**

“It’s good that you realize, Xiao Zhan. I am honored. I hope your lover too realizes this soon”, Du Hua once again shouted at his face, a hint of taunt reflecting in her voice.

**“Don’t tell anything to Yibo. Had I not agreed to go with him, this would not have happened”**

It literally pained Yibo to see Xiao Zhan apologizing on _his_ behalf.

 ** _“Zhan-ge… please”_** , _his_ voice shook.

“What please? …… Do you know the terrible blunder that you both created? You both have been the major topic of discussion on social media, all over the world, for the past few years. Had you realized before how risky it would be for you to disappear together then we could have prevented both of you from being secretly recorded, do you know that?”, Du Hua said.

The words escaping her mouth came as a complete shock.

“Yes… someone recorded both of you. Do you even understand how serious the situation is? You think that I am standing here to blabber nonsense and act as a villain in a love story?”

The two men found no words to argue back. Their eyes and their mouths were frozen wide open in an expression of sudden fear. This should not had happened. Someone had their clip. What kind of clip?

Du Hua tapped her fingers on her mobile screen and held the device in front of their faces. A clear picture of Yibo exiting the back door of the building, followed by Xiao Zhan, a while later.

The actors stood in stunned silence.

“Did you see this? This is what I have always feared and this is exactly what happened today. Now tell me what do you expect me to do? How can I tell the people outside, who were asking about your whereabouts, the truth?”

**“Who recorded this?”** , Xiao Zhan asked.

“Somebody from the staff who was intending to leak this clip on social media and tomorrow’s headlines would have been _‘The Xiao Zhan’_ and _‘The Wang Yibo’_ were spending the 31st night with each other”, Du Hua threw another bitter taunt at them.

**“What will that person gain from it?”**

“Public attention… Bloody attention seekers. Don’t you know to what extent can paid stalkers go to ruin your reputations in the industry?”

An uncomfortable silence spread across the room.

 ** _“We are sorry”_** , was all that Yibo could mumble, holding _his_ breath.

 **“We are sorry”** , Xiao Zhan repeated after _him_.

This could truly lead to a serious issue, both of them realized. It was not wrong in what they were doing, but the way they were handling could have been better. It would not have been so difficult if they were not tagged as celebrities by the society. But their profession made them the topmost public figures of the nation. They had to accept that and act accordingly. There was no escape route; the only thing that could be done was being more careful about certain things that they would not want to let others learn about them.

“I don’t need your sorry… just teach him to talk to me with respect. I am still eight years older than you, Xiao Zhan”, Du Hua raised her voice at the two of them, pointing her finger towards Yibo.

Xiao Zhan took a quick glance at his lover in his arms.

**“I know we should not have done this but still… Yibo and me are not alone to be blamed. You don’t let him visit me. What can we do about it? Give us an assurance that you will not stop him from seeing me and I promise whatever happened today will never repeat itself in future”**

“That is not possible”

**“Why is it not possible?”**

“This is not allowable”

**“What is not allowable? The fact that we like to be with each other? I think that is something which is our concern. You don’t have to bother yourself”**

Du Hua said no more words but kept looking as Xiao Zhan continued, **“Okay… he will be respectful towards you. But for that just let him do what he wishes to do and I assure you that you will never have to lie again because of us”**

“Our country will not approve of your relationship”

 **“We can take care of that. We are not planning to make any official announcement, anyway. Our agencies are the closest to us. You will anyhow notice us sharing wardrobes, visiting each other regularly. So, we don’t want to hide the truth from you. We don’t even expect you cheer for us. Just let us live our private lives the way we wish to do. We don’t want your interference. I am not intending to pick up a fight with you. This is a request. We want no body’s suggestions or advises about what will be good or bad for us. We are grown up enough to take our own decisions”** , Xiao Zhan said all in one go.

“And what if anybody spots you… anybody learns about you? Can you realize the risk? Our country won’t accept this relationship”

**“No-body will know what relationship we share behind the closed doors. Moreover, we can always tell others that we are friends or best friends and nothing more than that”**

“You mean you will deceive others by this _‘friendship’_ tag, Xiao Zhan?”

Xiao Zhan let out a shaky sigh, while Yibo interrupted their conservation, startling both of them as he spoke.

**_“He means to say we don’t wish to invest our energy trying to wake up people who are pretending to be asleep”_ **

**“If you let us be with each other in private, we will not look for opportunities to meet in public and take such risks again”**

“Xiao Zhan…”

 **“Moreover, let me tell you this loud and clear… you are no Dictator to force us into accepting what decision to take in our lives. Even if you don’t allow us to be together, we will still not let go of each other. So, it will be a win-win situation for both of us, if you agree to co-operate”** , Xiao Zhan explained.

Du Hua’s face darkened and in a fit of rage, she clenched her fists tight.

“You both still think that I am your enemy isn’t it? Well, let it be then. I have no issue with being wrongly assumed to be a villain in your story. I just want my money back… Ask Yibo to pay me back and he may do whatever he wishes to”

 ** _“Which money?”_** , Yibo asked, raising his eyebrows.

Du Hua shoved her hand into her purse and brought out a piece of paper. She held it in front of their faces. “If you both had got caught today, you would have been banned from standing even close to each other, by the government. I saved you from this. I signed this contract with the person who had recorded your clip. I paid him a large sum of money and took the video from him. I convinced him to delete this clip from his camera and I contacted Xiao Zhan’s agency’s CEO and convinced Mr. Li to pay another big amount, added to mine, to the security team so that each of the CCTV footages, from tonight, can be personally checked by your managers before they are handed over to anybody else”

Looking at the paper and reading the amount written on it, the two actors felt as if their brains had stopped working like some sort of emergency shutdown and they were unable to operate on a normal level.

****

**_“Oh my god… this amount is huge”_** , Yibo muttered as _his_ gaze stayed frozen on that paper, _his_ whole body motionless. **_“This is blackmail. That person has literally taken a fortune in exchange of one clip. Did you actually pay him this much?”_**

“No… Xiao Zhan’s agency paid fifty percent”

“What?”, both men exclaimed in unison.

“Yes, and Yibo… you are going to pay me back… a hundred times of what I have paid to save you both”

 _“What are you saying?”_ , Yibo knitted _his_ brows.

“Prepare to come back to YueHua and sign the contract for those shows that I offered to you the other day”, Du Hua said

Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo exchanged glances.

“If you are planning to retire then I will blackmail you. Either you will resume with your work in the industry or take a retirement and get ready to be banned by the government from meeting Xiao Zhan ever again because I am going to make this clip viral”

Xiao Zhan at once snaped angrily at her. **“Enough… I understand you are trying to convince Yibo into agreeing with you but this is no way to treat him. Don’t threat him or pressurize him. He knows what is right and what should be done. Your preaching is not required here”**

“I am not lecturing”

**“But you are talking to Yibo in a way which is unacceptable for me”**

Du Hua went silent. Yibo too did not say anything in response.

“By the way why will he retire?”, Xiao Zhan asked.

“Oh… you don’t know about it?”, Du Hua let out a sarcastic laugh. “This is so wrong. Yibo… your Xiao Zhan should know about all your idiotic deeds”

“What deeds… Yibo?”, Xiao Zhan looked at Yibo.

_“I did not do anything. She is speaking nonsense”_

“Yibo”, Xiao Zhan furrowed his eyes.

_“I am sorry, GeGe”_

“I asked what did you do?”

“He sacrificed his career for his love, Xiao Zhan”, another loud, sarcastic laugh of Du Hua followed. “He said he won’t work in the industry again and had quit YueHua company”

Xiao Zhan carefully checked Yibo’s face for a while - the younger male’s head was hung low and _he_ was clutching tight onto Xiao Zhan’s suit.

**“What am I going to do now?”** , Xiao Zhan said, his question directed towards his lover. **“What am I supposed to do? … Convince her to let you be with me or convince you to stop keeping me in the dark and for fuck’s sake OPEN YOUR MOUTH DAMMIT AND SPEAK”** , he roared angrily at Yibo.

The women present in the room were appalled to see the polite gentleman’s temper on hair-trigger.

 **“ARE YOU TESTING MY PATIENCE, YIBO?”** , he yelled out those jagged words, again.

The other three pairs of eyes were now focused on Yibo who stood there in complete silence, without even looking into the other man’s eyes. The person who was normally in the habit of denying listening to anybody and do what _he_ thought to be right, was now standing with a gloomy expression on _his_ face, looking down at _his_ feet, _his_ fingers curled into the fabric of the edge of Xiao Zhan’s suit, clasping it tightly in _his_ fist.

**“DO YOU THINK I AM SHARING A JOKE OVER HERE? WHY DID YOU DO IT?”**

**_“I am sorry”_ **

**“ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW? YOU TOLD HER THAT YOU WILL ABANDON YOUR WORK? IS THAT HOW WE DECIDED TO HANDLE OUR MATTER?”**

**_“Zhan-ge”_** , Yibo looked up at him. _His_ eyes glittered with unshed tears.

The women felt themselves at loss of words to notice that Xiao Zhan had not let Yibo out of his arms, yet. Neither did Yibo let go of him. They were practically holding each other in a side hug and yet a dispute arose in between them.

**“WHAT CRIME ARE WE COMMITING YIBO, THAT WE ARE NEEDED TO ESCAPE FROM OUR PROFESSION?”**

Yibo stayed quiet.

Du Hua was now thinking if she should interrupt or not. Xiao Zhan’s manger might had guessed her dilemma. So, she decided to speak up.

“Xiao Zhan, Boss wants to talk to you”

Xiao Zhan turned towards her.

“He just wants to know if your parents need more security for the next few days since you will be visiting home and fans may follow you all the way to Chong Qing”, she quickly said.

Xiao Zhan finally let go of Yibo and politely replied to her. “Thank you for letting me know. I will talk to him after we are done with this party”

He then looked at Du Hua. “So, what did you decide?”

“What did Yibo decide tell me that first”

“I don’t know about him. He may do anything he wish to”, Xiao Zhan turned his back towards Yibo.

Du Hua was going to say something when Xiao Zhan spoke again, in a dead serious tone, staring straight at her direction. **“We are very politely letting you take a decision which will be in favour of our agencies as well as us. Earlier you talked to Mr. Li and took care of the video clip matter. I really am thankful for that. But please…… Yibo should not be troubled further for any reason. You call me protective; you call me crazy; I will not mind. Whatever indifference may arise in between us, that is something we will handle. I may throw my temper at him but that is because I have my rights on him but you don’t have it. So, Yibo must not be mistreated anymore, keep that in mind…… Anyway, I will be waiting to hear from you and yes… Yibo will let you know about his decision too, as soon as possible”**

Xiao Zhan was almost sure that he heard Du Hua curse under her breath.

“Ok… ask him to see me after his holidays in my office and sign on the shows that we have selected for him. After that he may do whatever he wishes to”

“I do not order him anything because he is capable enough to take the right step for himself. I have my faith in him and I support him… You too should do the same”

Du Hua remained quiet for a while, trying to find a response for Xiao Zhan.

“You both are too adamant”. She finally said to herself, shaking her head and turned behind to proceed towards the door. The other two ladies followed her.

“I don’t think you will need any make-up artist, right now. Its better you two quickly gather your mess and come outside in fifteen minutes. And for God’s sake don’t come together… I cannot lie anymore” and they exited the room.

The two men were left behind. Yibo waited for a whole minute for _his_ beloved to speak. Xiao Zhan adamantly kept silent. Yibo walked upto him and hugged him from behind.

_“Baby”_

“……”

_“Baobao… are you angry with me?”_

“……”

_“Sorry, Zhan-ge”_

“Move back”, Xiao Zhan responded in a stern tone.

 _“Zhan-ge”_ , Yibo rubbed _his_ cheek against Xiao Zhan’s ear and _his_ hold around _his_ beloved’s waist tightened. _“I will go home early morning. Will you not talk with me?”_

Xiao Zhan turned to face Yibo and holding _his_ face in his hands, he wiped the unshed tears from _his_ eyes before they could roll down _his_ cheeks. Bending his head to peck _his_ nose tip, Xiao Zhan wrapped _him_ in a warm hug.

“What am I going to do with you, Yibo?”

In his embrace, Yibo felt like all the storms in _his_ heart have calmed down and a peace, _he_ had never known before, spread across _his_ chest. _He_ believed that _his_ beloved’s cuddles were the only antidote _he_ had to this world.

 _“You don’t have to do anything. I am always yours”_ , the younger male answered slowly.

“Then why do you anger me on a daily basis?”

 _“Because I love you”_ , Yibo chuckled.

“Shut up…”

_“Zhan-ge”_

“Stupid brat”, Xiao Zhan cursed and hugged _him_ more tightly against his chest. Yibo kept _his_ head buried into _his_ beloved’s neck.

_“What do you think, Gege? Why did she help us?”_

“I don’t know. I just want your mind to be at peace”, Xiao Zhan answered nonchalantly, focused more on rubbing his palm up and down Yibo’s back.

Yibo dug _his_ chin on _his_ beloved’s shoulder. _“I can’t believe that she said I need to sign on those shows and then she will let me be with you”_

“She did not say that”

_“But she meant that, isn’t it?”_

“Hmm”

_“Why do you think she asked me to meet her after our holidays?”_

“She wants to settle things with you, probably”

Yibo broke their hug and circled _his_ arms around Xiao Zhan’s neck.

_“Baobao… don’t be mad at me”_

_His_ beloved kissed _his_ forehead. “I don’t want you to do this”

_“I won’t do it again”_

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

_“I was angry… very angry at her. I would have certainly told you sometime later. You were so happy during the past few days. I did not want to spoil your mood, baby”_

Xiao Zhan dropped a peck on Yibo’s lips. “Don’t worry. I think all that she needs is you to be back to their agency. You are one of their biggest sources of income. They cannot afford to lose you”

Yibo hugged Xiao Zhan close. _“Do you think when we will meet, she will give me permission to stay with you?”_

“I don’t think so. She can at most, very reluctantly, for the time being agree to let us see each other to avoid drawing any unwanted attention”

_“But she helped us, isn’t it? She indeed took care of the matter to keep us safe”_

“It seems like she really does wish good for you, Yibo. It’s just that our relationship came as a shock to many and she does not like me”

_“But I don’t like anyone who does not understand my baobao. Zhan-ge, you are a part of me”_

“They need more time to accept us. Gradually she may, willingly, agree to let you be with me”

 _“Mn… hope so”_ , the younger person murmured in a tiny sigh.

They stayed quiet in each other’s embrace for a while.

 _“Will you talk to your agency about us, Zhan-ge?”_ , Yibo asked.

“I have to but I will do it later. Let’s solve this mess with Du Hua first, alright”

_“Mn… I will miss you baobao. We are going to meet in five days, remember?”_

“Offcourse and don’t tell anybody that we are meeting. I will catch the early morning flight and arrive at your apartment”

_“Okay”_

“Let’s go now”

_“Mn”_

Yibo kissed Xiao Zhan on his cheek. _“As soon as we step outside, you don’t know me… I don’t know you”_

Xiao Zhan smiled at _him_. “Yes… you proceed first. I am coming a few minutes later”

Yibo pulled away from the hug and turned back to walk a few steps towards the door when two arms, all of a sudden, clasped _his_ waist from behind in a slow, luxurious hug. _He_ could feel Xiao Zhan’s chest rising and falling against _his_ back and he whispered beside _his_ ear. “By the way… I forgot to tell you”

Yibo shivered at the tickling sensation on _his_ neck as _his_ beloved breathed against _his_ skin.

“I don’t think we will be able to meet before you leave for home”

_“Mn”_

“Have a safe journey Yibo… The gifts for your parents will arrive tomorrow”

_“Okay”_

“And don’t take stress. Call me when you arrive at the airport”

_“Mn”_

“Bo-di, you know that I am always beside you, right? … Do you know that you have become my…”

 _“I became your?”_ , Yibo asked while unconsciously holding _his_ breath.

Xiao Zhan rubbed his nose against his lover’s soft hairs. “… and just like that you became the lyrics of my favorite song”

Yibo blushed. _“You too… even in all this chaos, my heart peacefully sways to the gentle rhythm of your beats”_

“I know”, Xiao Zhan replied. His arms were locked firmly around Yibo’s form. No drug in the world could match upto the power this one single embrace held, that had the ability to cure a thousand wounds in the younger male’s heart.

“I have something else too that I want to let you know”

 _“What?”_ , Yibo asked.

_“The make out session was mind blowing, Bo-di. Looking forward to more”_

And they laughed out loud.

“See you soon… Now, Go”, Xiao Zhan pecked _his_ neck and let go of _him_. Yibo smilingly walked out of the door.

Xiao Zhan rose up from the chair once again and putting his hands on both sides of his waist, he was restlessly pacing up and down between the kitchen and the living room, mumbling unintelligible words to himself.

No… no… he needed to calm himself down. At this rate he might fall sick. He knew how much his lover and he were looking forward to be with each other in the last two days of their vacation. Everything would be fine, Xiao Zhan had faith in their fate. Yibo would be fine. He would be fine. They would together be absolutely alright.

Xiao Zhan thought about doing something to distract himself from overthinking. He looked around the living room of the apartment. He had already set everything; put a load of Yibo’s unwashed clothes in the laundry, arranged _his_ shoe rack and kept _his_ skateboards and helmets in their proper locations.

He had also arranged Yibo’s wardrobe and had baked cookies for evening snacks. What else to do?

Xiao Zhan had arrived at Yibo’s apartment by the morning flight and had spent all the day doing normal household chores which he was definitely a pro at, unlike his lover who was a living mess.

It was 5:30pm and Yibo had not arrived yet.

_He_ had gone to meet Du Hua in her office to discuss stuffs – like those things which were left unsettled in between them the last time when they were standing face to face. Xiao Zhan had offcourse offered to tag along with _him_. Even though Yibo agreed to let him accompany, but at the last moment, Xiao Zhan decided not to go as it would not be right to interfere into how Yibo would want to sort things out with _his_ agency. Xiao Zhan too had to meet his agency and manager and give them a truthful and trustworthy explanation about what was going on between him and Yibo.

But he could think about himself later. He would not mind getting scolded by them for any reason but no one should tell Yibo anything. Whatever was in between them, Xiao Zhan was a major part of it. Yibo should not face the insults all by himself; rather _he_ should not face any wrath at all as long as Xiao Zhan was alive. He should have gone with Yibo. He should not have left _him_ alone. Xiao Zhan regretted to have changed his earlier decision.

And to add to his worries, Yibo’s power bank and mobile was running out of battery. He could do nothing except waiting for _him_ to return and only then he would know what did……

The doorbell rang, interrupting Xiao Zhan’s thoughts. He jumped up from the sofa and literally ran towards the door, pulling it wide open. The expected familiar figure was standing at the entrance.

“Yibo”

_“Baby”_

Xiao Zhan pulled _him_ inside and their bodies at once collided; their hands plastered around each other’s sides in a quick tight hug. The elder man could feel the tenseness of his lover’s muscles in between his arms. Their hearts were pounding hard against each other’s chests and Xiao Zhan slowly patted Yibo’s head to organize the chaos that he knew was going on in the younger person’s mind.

“Bo-di… It’s okay, my sweetheart… don’t worry”

Yibo dropped his duffel bag on the floor and buried _his_ face into _his_ beloved’s nape.

_“_

_Zhan-ge, hold me tight… I may fall down”_

“Yes, my darling…”, Xiao Zhan held _him_ firmly in his embrace. That was a feel of complete comfort for Yibo. It was not only acceptance but support.

_“GeGe”_

“Yes, my heart”

_“I met her”_

“I know… did you sign on their contracts?”

_“Yes”_

“Good. You did the right thing”

_“You won’t believe me Ge, what Du Hua said to me”_

“It is alright. I don’t want to know anything that causes you discomfort. Whatever she said, don’t think much about it. It does not matter”

Yibo pulled away from the hug to look at Xiao Zhan. _“It matters Zhan-ge and it matters a lot. I could not believe my own ears when I heard her saying that to me”_

Xiao Zhan cupped Yibo’s face and kissed _him_ softly in between in brows. “It does not matter. Even if she is not with you… I will always stand by your side”

_“Zhan-ge”_

“ssshhh… come and sit”, Xiao Zhan held _his_ hand to walk inside of the room.

Yibo stayed rooted to the spot, pulling _his_ beloved back by his elbow. _“Zhan-ge… listen to me, first”_

Xiao Zhan turned to look back at _him_ as Yibo continued.

**_“Zhan-ge… m-my-my agency approved of my dating”_ **

Xiao Zhan stood motionless and stared at his lover as if the latter had just produced a dinosaur from _his_ pocket.

****

**_“Zha-Zhan-Zhan-ge… she said I-I can date”_**. Yibo felt more nervous looking at _his_ beloved who was staring back at _him_ like a pop-eyed toy from one of those claw machines at the fun fair. Perfectly funny but Yibo did not dare to laugh.

**“Dat-Date? Who?”**

**_“Offcourse… You. Who else will I date?”_ **

**“What?”**

Yibo tried to smile a little. **_“She said… I mean - Du Hua said I can date you. I mean… I can – like… I can be with you. My agency permitted me and…”_**

**“And…?”**

**“She said she has talked to Mr. Li, the CEO of your-your agency and convinced him to not forbid you from meeting me. We just have to keep this thing in between ourselves. Except our parents and closest relatives, no one should know about it besides you and me and our agencies”**

Something needed to be said but Xiao Zhan’s brain stuttered at whatever information Yibo gave right now and his mind went blank. He searched within himself for something reasonable to say but he could only part his lips. Words had left him.

_“Zhan-ge, I can move in with you… did you hear me?”_ , Yibo shook him.

“You want to?”

Yibo nodded.

“And Du Hua approved of it”

Yibo nodded again.

“She talked to my agency too?”

_“Yes”_

The elder’s brain formulated no thoughts other than to register that he was shocked.

“Why?”

_“I think… she kept her promise. You asked her not to trouble me anymore and she listened to that. I accepted her offers and she accepted us, in return”_ , Yibo scratched _his_ head. _“Zhan-ge, are you shocked too?”_

Xiao Zhan slowly smiled at _him_ and reached out to bring his lover closer to him.

“Oh my god! Yibo…”

Yibo put _his_ palm on Xiao Zhan’s mouth. _“But… we can’t tell this to anybody. Even if we are standing on the same stage together… we can’t talk unless we are asked to”_

“I understand Yibo… I am totally at loss of words”

_“Seriously Ge… this was unexpectable. I was so shocked that I could have suffered a cardiac arrest right on the spot. But I wanted to come home and break the news to you”_

A feel of relief, delight, extreme joy, unexplainable excitement reached deeper into their souls and the happiness was slowly starting to reflect on their faces and they realized what a great thing had happened to them.

Being two celebrities from the glamor world, they knew the kind of power an agency possessed. It would have been so difficult to fight with everybody and stay emotionally strong to defend their forbidden love. But they were still willing to do it. They were ready to take all risks for the sake of satisfying the demands of their hearts.

But now… when their own agencies were ready to accept them, this solace was equal to heavenly bliss. Their agencies were ready to co-operate – nothing could come as a bigger relaxation for either of the actors.

Their gazes stayed locked and their eyes welled up as they laughed out loud. They could now live with awe and their agencies would no more question their unquestionable love. Their hearts were filled to the brim with overflowing joy.

“But, will it not be difficult for you, Bo… to hide the truth?”, Xiao Zhan teased his lover, after stealing a quick peck from _his_ lips.

 _“Why?”_ , the other person knitted _his_ eyebrows.

“You… standing beside me on stage and not looking at me, unblinkingly, in a way that you are seeing the whole galaxy in front of your eyes and suppressing your desires to throw flying kiss at me in front of so many people… can you do it?”

Yibo playfully landed a light punch on Xiao Zhan’s stomach. **_“ZHAN-GE”_**

His beloved wrapped his hands around Yibo’s hip and lifted _him_ up, against his own body, in the air.

“Hey”

_“Mn”_

“Mei Xiu Jie deserves a big Thank you from both of us”

Yibo leaned down to drop a kiss on the elder’s forehead. _“Offcourse”_

“And I will talk to Mr. Li tomorrow. If everything finally settles down peacefully… then we will meet Du Hua, is that alright?”

_“No need Zhan-ge”_

“Yibo…”

Yibo pouted. _“As you wish”_

Xiao Zhan laughed and put _him_ down on _his_ feet. Their mouths met for a brief smooch.

Yibo pulled away first. _“Zhan-ge. I have brought something for you”_

“What?”

Yibo winked at him and then bent down to pick up _his_ bag that was lying on the ground. He pulled the chain and shoved _his_ hand inside. After much struggle _he_ brought out a small envelop from inside it.

“Another envelope? Did you buy another house for me”, Xiao Zhan asked.

Yibo held him by his hand and walked upto the sofa, making him sit on it.

_“Shut up and close your eyes Zhan-ge”_

Xiao Zhan smiled at _him_ and did what he was asked to do. Some seconds later he heard Yibo’s voice, asking him to look.

And as he opened his eyes, he found his lover before him, on the floor, on one knee… holding out a golden ring in front of him.

Xiao Zhan let out a chuckle. “Very romantic… what is this?”

_“My grandfather’s ring… our family heirloom, remember?”_

“Aaahhh… right”

_“This was supposed to go to my husband, if I was born a girl… but”_

**“Since my lover is born a man and not a woman so…”** , both of them spoke in unison, matching their voices and laughing loudly in amusement.

_“Xiao Zhan…you deserve this. No one else but you. If my baobao can go down on his knee and gift me this pendant, I too can go bow before you and surrender my love to you”_

_His_ beloved grinned at _his_ words.

“Uncle, Auntie agreed?”

_“I had four days to convince them and eventually they did”_

Xiao Zhan’s face beamed with ecstasy and immense bliss. “Get up on your feet first… you spoilt brat”

_“Not before you give me your hand”_

Xiao Zhan stretched out his right hand and Yibo carefully slid the ring into his ring finger. _He_ brought _his_ beloved’s hand up close to _his_ face and leaned forwards to press a kiss on his knuckles.

Looking at the polished gold ring, Yibo murmured, **“ Just where it belongs”**

“It really fits well, Yibo”

_“And you are now my family… I love you”_

That moment created a warmth in Xiao Zhan’s soul. It filled in him pure emotions full of love. If that was not happiness, he did not know what it was.

Yibo came forwards and encircled _his_ arms around Xiao Zhan’s neck. _His_ beloved held _his_ waist and leaned back on the couch, Yibo rested _his_ body weight on top of him.

****

**_“Zhan-ge”_ **

**“Hmm”**. Their gazes were locked on each other.

**_“You know the risks of your commitment to me, right?”_ **

**“I know… we cannot tell openly to the world that we are in love, is that it?”**

**_“People around us may not attempt to hold us back but they have not accepted us, yet”_ **

**“We need to give them time, Yibo… may be a long, long time”**

**_“And staying with me during this long time, Ge… you understand all the implications and complications of it, isn’t it?”_ **

**“I understand, Yibo… and I still choose you”**

**_“GeGe… there will be times when we will fight, there will be misunderstandings but we will have no one to talk to besides each other”_ **

**“I promise to keep patience with you Yibo”**

**_“Zhan-ge… outside we will have to keep pretending that we are each other’s no-one. May be a friend or an ex-colleague… but never more than that. It will hurt us”_ **

**“And even after that, I promise to stay committed to you… I will love you forever… so much that the hurt will not bother you, nor me”**

Yibo sighed with pursued lips and shook _his_ head for a bit. The corners of his mouth slowly turned up and _he_ smiled big. _“Seems like you truly are sincere about this”_

“Were you thinking that I was playing with your feelings all this while?”

_“May be”_

“Yibo”, Xiao Zhan pouted.

Yibo giggled. _“God! I love you so much”_

“Really?”

_“Umm… I am not sure though. Shall we test it?”_

“Test what?”

 _“How much we love each other”_ , and Yibo’s hands had already started to move at a rapid pace, undoing the buttons on Xiao Zhan’s shirt.

Happiness was in everything. It was in their loud giggles, in their passionate kisses, in their hot breathings, in their warm touches and in their soft moans. The felicity that they felt were fresh, just as deeply as a sunflower felt the radiations of the sun while it bloomed. This delight was bringing forth different emotions in them.

Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo were bursting with life in the joy of their hearts beating together – playing a music that sounded so loud and clear to the ears of their souls.

**“I have got my real-life Lan WangJi. I will forever be grateful to _‘Cheng-Qing-Ling’_ and Wei WuXian”**, a muffled voice spoke in between desperate panting.

 ** _“How can you get Lan WangJi? Wei Ying’s Lan Zhan will stay forever his. Accept Wang Yibo who belongs only to you”_** , replied another voice amidst _his_ pleasurable moaning.

**“Just as Xiao Zhan belongs only to you”**

**_“Just as Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi belong only to each other”_ **

****

****

**THE END**

Epilogue in the next Chapter.


	43. Epilogue - Forever in Love

_“Zhan-ge”_

“……”

_“Tsk… Zhan-ge”_

“……”

_“Zhan-ge… Ge… GeGe”_

“Go away”. Xiao Zhan was in deep slumber when Yibo’s constant nagging beside his ears dredged him up from his dreams.

_“Where will I go, Zhan-ge? This is my home”_

“Hmm”

 _“Zhan-ge”_ , holding him by his shoulder, Yibo shook him again. _“Zhan-ge”_

“Hmm”

_“Wake up baby”_

Xiao Zhan turned on his side to face Yibo, rolling straight into _his_ arms. “What is the time?”

Yibo gently patted his back, like putting a child to sleep. _“11:50, baby”_

“What? … go to sleep, sweetheart”

_“No… you open your eyes first, GeGe”_

“……”

_“Baby”_

Xiao Zhan had no other option. Hi eyes, very reluctantly, fluttered - open and shut, as he fought sleep, his vision working on focusing. Yibo flashed him a big smile.

“You little monster. Why don’t you let me sleep, Bo?”

_“Aaahhh Zhan-ge, how can you curse your life partner like this? You have no shame at all”_

An irritated Xiao Zhan slapped his lover on _his_ legs and forced himself to sit up on the bed.

“It’s not even midnight. I hardly slept an hour or two. You know I was so tired the whole day… my current shooting schedule is too hectic and you woke me up for no good reason. Now what am I going to do? Sit like this the whole night?”

Xiao Zhan complained, like a mewling baby.

Yibo held his head and turned him to face _him_. Leaning in to drop a kiss on _his_ beloved’s mouth, Yibo smiled.

_“Don’t sulk. Sit here. I will be back in five minutes”_

Yibo jumped down the bed and ran outside.

Xiao Zhan let out a big yawn and check the time on his mobile. 11:55 pm. He waited for two minutes and then shouted from the room, addressing Yibo.

“Are you in the kitchen, sweetheart?”

He could hear Yibo’s answer in a shout. _“Two minutes, Ge”_

“What are you doing, YiBo?”

_“Ge, you sit there. Don’t go to sleep”_

Xiao Zhan did not respond. He waited for another three minutes before calling for Yibo, once again. “Are you washing the dishes?”

_“NO”_

“What are you doing?”

_“Wait, GeGe”_

“Yibo… don’t jam the sink”

_“I WON’T”_

“Yibo, the unwashed cups are there on the slab. Be careful. Don’t break them”

_“I WON’T GE. RELAX”_

Xiao Zhan let out another big yawn followed by a huge sigh. He had willingly signed up for this life and now he could not even complain. To who would he complain? His own family would mock at him.

_“Tan-Tanaaaaa”_ , Yibo entered the bedroom. Xiao looked up at _him_. His lover was standing at the door with a balloon in one hand and a freshly baked cake in another.

“Oh God!”, Xiao Zhan lifted his hand up and pressed his palm over his mouth.

Yibo smiled big at him.

_“Happy Birthday To You_

_Happy Birthday To You_

_Happy Birthday My Dear Baobao_

_Happy Birthday To You…… Yeaahhhhh”_

“Yi-Yibo”, Xiao Zhan did not know what to say.

Yibo came forwards and carefully placed the chocolate cake on the bed before Xiao Zhan and handed him the balloon. Encircling _his_ arms around his beloved’s neck, Yibo kissed him passionately on his lips.

_“Perfect”_ , the younger man mumbled as they broke apart. _“Just as I have planned. I wished you exactly at 12:00 and kissed you”_

 _He_ sat down on the bed beside Xiao Zhan and held him by his hand.

_“Happy Birthday, Love”_

“Thank You, Love”

Xiao Zhan quickly stole a sweet kiss from his lover’s cheek.

“I don’t know what to say…”

_“Oh, it’s alright Zhan-ge. I know you are happy”_

“Happy and worried”

Yibo raised a brow. _“Worried?”_

“What did you do to my kitchen, Yibo?”

_“ZHAN-GE”_

“Yibo, please… tell me that you have cleaned the oven and the table”

 _“Zhan-ge… not again please. I have put so much efforts to bake it. I even checked the softness of the bread. It’s perfect. Can’t you be just happy?”_ , Yibo whined.

“I am happy Yibo”, Xiao Zhan kept the balloon aside and looked at the cake. “But how can I erase my last couple of years’ birthday memories? They come haunting me whenever I see your baking”

Yibo looked at _his_ beloved’s face for a while and then turned to climb down the bed. Xiao Zhan hugged _him_ from behind, wrapping his arms around _his_ body.

“Aww, babe is angry… Sorry, Bo… You see I am so happy”

Yibo pushed him behind and climbed down the bed, standing to face _his_ beloved from a distance.

_“This happens every year… every year, I will do something for you. I will plan to make you a dish and then you will complain about your kitchen. Go and marry your oven and cups and plates. I don’t want to live with you”_

“Yibo…”

_“What? With every passing day you are growing more and more irritating. But I am still putting up with you, thinking that I love you so it’s okay to forgive sometimes… but is this how you will pay me back, Zhan-ge?”_

“It’s okay… come here”, Xiao Zhan spread out his arms, calling Yibo for a hug.

_“NO”_

“Yibo…”, he tried hard to suppress his laughter that came out as a snort. “Today is my birthday, babe… See its already 12:10”

Yibo thought something for a while and then quietly returned towards the bed drop himself into _his_ beloved’s arms. Xiao Zhan smiled at him, embracing _him_ tight.

“Keep your voice low. Panther and Dragon will wake up”

_“Don’t worry about them. They slept long ago. Let’s cut the cake”_

“Where is the knife Yibo?”

_“I forgot to bring”_

Xiao Zhan laughed at _him_ and before Yibo could get out of his arms, he stole a kiss from _his_ lips.

Yibo brought a knife from a kitchen and lighting up the candles on the cake, Xiao Zhan joined his hands to say his prayers before he held the silver knife and placed it on the cake, slowly cutting a small slice from it.

Yibo reached out to pick it up and fed it to _his_ beloved.

Xiao Zhan took a small bite from it. “Wow… its super. This is one thing you can do just perfect… baking”

_“ZHAN-GE”_

“Okay, okay…”, Xiao Zhan chuckled. “… there are many more things you can do perfectly like…”

_“Like?”_

“Like… taking care of Panther and Dragon and…”

 _“And…?”_ , Yibo leaned forwards and their faces were just an inch apart.

_“And you make perfect love with me”._

Yibo giggled in amusement. _His_ warm breaths fell on Xiao Zhan’s face and the elder man slowly pushed the birthday cake aside on the bed and pulled Yibo into his lap. Their lips met for a searing kiss and Yibo slowly caressed his throat by the back of _his_ knuckles. When they pulled apart for air, _he_ whispered into _his_ beloved’s ear, _“Horny?”_

Xiao Zhan laughed. “What if I say yes?”

_“We will do it”_

“What if I say No?”

_“We will still do it… because I am”_

Xiao Zhan laughed again, followed by Yibo. _His_ beloved’s bright smile was infectious; even after all these years Yibo felt like every time the elder male laughed, he blew into _his_ body a newly exciting, passionate life.

_“The cake indeed tastes perfect, Zhan-ge”_

“How do you know?”

_“I tasted it on your lips”_

They kissed again.

_“GeGe… Happy 42 nd Birthday… in next eight years, you will be completing half a century. I mean you will grow old. So, from today I decide to pray for your good health so that you are free from diseases and you do not feel wea……”_

“Yibo… I hate you”, Xiao Zhan made an angry pout and pushed his lover away from his arms.

 _“I love you too”_ , Yibo let out a happy titter. _“Happy fifteen years, Xiao Zhan”_

Xiao Zhan creased his brows. “Today is our anniversary?”

_“No… but this year we are going to complete fifteen years of togetherness”_

“How is it fifteen years Yibo? As far as I remember we should be completing eleven years”

_“And what about the four years from CQL shooting till we started dating”_

“Well… I did not love you then”

Yibo picked up a pillow from the bed and threw it at Xiao Zhan.

_“I HATE YOU. DO YOU KNOW THAT? I WON’T LIVE WITH YOU”_

“WHY?”

_“WHY DID YOU SAY YOU DID NOT LOVE ME THEN?”_

“BECAUSE THAT’S THE TRUTH”

_“YOU LOVED ME, ZHAN-GE”_

“I DID NOT, YIBO”

Yibo sighed. _“Who was the one who was literally suffering from depression during our separation phase?”_

Xiao Zhan pulled Yibo by _his_ wrist and holding _him_ into a hug, they both stretched their legs and fell into the bed. “Okay, that makes it thirteen years… not fifteen”

_“I said fifteen”_

“Okay fifteen”, Xiao Zhan gave up arguing and kissed Yibo. “When is our anniversary exactly?”

 _“Ufff… not again Zhan-ge”_ , Yibo let out a frustrated whimper. _“How many times do I need to remind you?”_

“You made me memorize twenty dates and it’s not possible to remember all”

_“It’s 5 th September GeGe”_

“Is it? What about 31st December, Bo?”

_“Our Second Sexversary”_

“You brat”, Xiao Zhan hit Yibo on _his_ shoulders. “Then 28th November is our First Sexversary?”

 _“Yes”_ , Yibo sounded pleased.

_“Are you human, Wang Yibo?”_

Yibo laughed. They embraced tight and with a few more sweetly annoying chit-chats, _he_ felt Xiao Zhan’s body going limp and his eyes growing heavier and heavier. Yibo cradled him into _his_ chest and they both finally slipped into a deep, peaceful sleep.

********************

The sound of the mobile scattered his dreams and Xiao Zhan stirred, realizing he needed to receive the call. He opened his eyes and saw Yibo in a sound sleep into his arms. He slowly pushed _him_ aside and reached out for his ringing mobile on the bed side table.

Looking at the incoming id on his mobile screen, he smiled to himself and received the call.

“MaaMaa”

Yibo moved a little and wrapped _his_ leg around Xiao Zhan’s waist, snuggling closer.

“Thank you Maa. Tell Papa that I heard him and I love him too and Thanks to him”

.

.

“Okay give him the phone”

.

.

“Hello Papa… Thank you so much”

.

.

“Yes, I have a holiday today. Yesterday I told you, remember?”

.

.

“No… Yibo too has a holiday”

.

.

“Yes, he will be travelling to Singapore the day after tomorrow…… yes, afternoon flight”

.

.

 _“Who is it Zhan-ge?”_ , Yibo groaned in _his_ sleep.

“Papa… wanna talk?”

 _“Later”_ , Yibo mumbled and pressed _his_ face into _his_ beloved’s neck.

“Maa wants to talk to you, darling… wait I am turning the speaker on”

Xiao Zhan turned on the phone’s speaker and a cheerful voice on the other side of the phone greeted Yibo.

“Is my baby still asleep?”

_“Mn”_

“Ohhh… A-Zhan, this hippopotamus sleeps so much”, she laughed on the line.

“Oh yes, he is in the habit of staying up late and wake up late”, Xiao Zhan said, turning to face Yibo and dropping a kiss on the forehead of the man lying in his arms.

“How was his cake?”

“It was perfect Maa. Did you help him?”

“No… he baked it all by himself”, she laughed again.

“Wow… the cake really was soft and perfect… by the way Maa…”, Xiao Zhan pressed another kiss on Yibo’s forehead and caressed _his_ leg that was wrapped around his waist. “… your son told me the previous night that he does not want to live with me, anymore”

“Again?”

“Hmm”

“Yibo… Yibo…”, the female voice on the call called for the younger male.

Yibo opened _his_ eyes and snatched the phone away from Xiao Zhan’s hand.

_“Maa… he is intentionally complaining to you without any reason because… because this monster simply intends to turn my own mother against…”_

“Oh, shut up Yibo, pay some respect to him. He is such a sweet person – so polite and well mannered…”

Xiao Zhan snorted and pressing his lips together, he winked at Yibo as the voice on the speaker continued, “… and here you are – an impolite boy. Why do you have to irritate him on his birthday? Just let him take rest, okay? He has been working throughout this week and……”

 _“Maa… Maa…”_ , Yibo cut her words, literally shouting. _“He just now teased me. Zhan-ge teased me. He is doing all of it intentionally, I am telling you… this holy terror of my life…”_

“SHUT UP, YIBO”

“MAA, YIBO SLAPPED ME”, Xiao Zhan pulled the mobile away from his lover’s hand and shouted, addressing the person on the call.

_“MAA, HE IS LYING… I DID NOT HURT HIM”_

“MAA, HE DID. YIBO SLAPPED……”

_“I DON’T WANT TO LIVE WITH YOU, XIAO ZHAN”_

Xiao Zhan smirked at _him_ , bending down to avoid another hit that was coming his way.

“CAN YOU HEAR IT MAA, HE SAID HE WILL LEAVE ME… AAAHHH! DOMESTIC VIOLENCE”, Xiao Zhan screamed.

Yibo snatched the phone once again and disconnected the call. Xiao Zhan attempted to get out of the bed when Yibo pulled him by his elbows from behind and pushed him onto the bed, firmly. Before _his_ beloved could make another attempt to escape, Yibo settled himself on top of him, pinning his hands against the bed, over his head and adjusted _his_ own legs on both sides of Xiao Zhan’s waist.

_“Acting smart, GeGe?”_

“No… Taking revenge from you”

_“What kind of revenge?”_

“The day before yesterday’s”

_“When I called Mom and Dad and complained to them?”_

“About how I escaped the responsibility of taking Dragon to the Veterinary, the previous week for the injection”

_“Was that not your fault, Ge?”_

Xiao Zhan did not answer. He pulled Yibo down by the collar of his shirt and joined their mouths for a hard kiss. Yibo’s smooth lips fell open at the brush of the other’s tongue, welcoming him, making their intimate moment feel just perfect, as always. Their tongues danced together for a long minute, before Yibo pulled away to pepper kisses along _his_ beloved’s neck.

Xiao Zhan let of a soft moan and gripped his lover’s hairs tight in his fist. Yibo slipped _his_ hand inside Xiao Zhan’s shirt and touched his bare skin while continuing to suck passionately on his Adam’s apple.

“Yibo”

 _“Mn”_ , Yibo lifted _his_ head to look into Xiao Zhan’s eyes.

“Seems like Panther and Dragon have started to bond really well. I see them fighting less than before”

_“Do you think so?”_

“It’s really difficult to pet a dog and cat together under the same roof”

_“Whose idea was it, anyway?”_

“You wanted a dog; I wanted a cat and we ended up having both”

_“But still they turned out to be less hopeless than we are, Zhan-ge”_

They both laughed together.

Yibo sank into Xiao Zhan’s chest and relaxed when _he_ felt _his_ beloved’s arms hugging _his_ body tight.

“Yibo”

_“Mn”_

“I will call Maa later and tell her that her son keeps me very happy. He bakes cake for me, takes good care of our two children and loves me a lot”

_“I will also call Mom and tell her that I have found the perfect partner in her son. He does all the shopping, keeps our home organized and loves me so much”_

“Bo-ge?”

_“Mn”_

“On a second thought, I think you were right. I have loved you since forever. So, it really is fifteen years of togetherness for us”

_“Mn… I know I am always right”_

Xiao Zhan smiled to himself and gently rubbed Yibo’s back.

“But… when is our anniversary exactly?”

 _“ZHAN-GE”_. Yibo whined.

“Okay… sorry sorry, I have noted down our dates in my diary. You don’t have to tell. I will take a look at it”

Yibo lifted _his_ head up and pecked Xiao Zhan on his lips.

“Get up and freshen quickly. I am hungry”

_“Okay. I am going to take a shower”_

“Shall I join?”

_“No, baby… you are going to arrange the bedsheet, right now”_

Xiao Zhan pouted. Yibo leaned in for some more kisses before climbing down from above him to walk into the bathroom.

_His_ legs were stretched; _his_ ankle resting on top of the table in front and Yibo was half lying on the sofa, with their dear ‘Panther’ above _his_ abdomen while _he_ was giving his entire furry body some relaxing petting strokes.

Xiao Zhan was standing at a distance, quietly observing them, while buttoning up his shirt.

_“You are done, Zhan-ge?”_ , Yibo asked.

“Yeah”

_“Your security team is late today”_

“Hmm… they will be arriving in fifteen minutes. The traffic is really bad”

_“Ok… and when will you be back?”_

Rolling the sleeves of his shirt, Xiao Zhan called their pet. “Panther”

Hearing his master’s voice, the puppy immediately started to wag his tail and turned his head to look at the direction from where the sound originated.

“Can you go and play on your own, baby? Papa needs Daddy for a while”

The puppy kept looking at him, wagging his tail faster than before and it seemed like he understood what the elder man was trying to explain. He obediently climbed down from above Yibo and lazily walked into the bedroom.

_“Very bad, Zhan-ge… I was giving him a massage”_ , Yibo said as _his_ beloved threw _him_ a broad smile, his face lit up with victorious glee.

Approaching the sofa, Xiao Zhan jumped into Yibo’s waiting arms and giggled as he was wrapped up in the warmest hug.

“I don’t have late night shoot today. I should be back by 9”

_“Okay”_

“Will you wait for me at dinner?”

 _“Of course”_ , Yibo said, gliding _his_ fingers through _his_ beloved’s hairs.

A minute silence followed.

“What is it Yibo?”, Xiao Zhan asked.

_“Mn?”_

“What are you thinking?”

_“GeGe?”_

“I am listening”

_“I am tired of getting regular marriage proposals. Can’t I even announce that I am in a relationship?”_

Xiao Zhan looked at his lover.

“They will ask who is it? How will you tell? Our country has not legalized homosexuality yet”

_“But you see… in all these years, situations have changed a lot. Our government is not as much strict as it used to be ten years before. Du Hua has bonded so well with you that she is now one of our closest friends…… Every day, someone or the other sends me love letters and gifts and I can’t really ignore them all, each time, Zhan-ge. They are not fan letters. They are often the people who I had earlier worked with. Didn’t you teach me that I should maintain healthy relationship with me colleagues? All these things get me stressed out. I feel frustrated”_

“I understand, Yibo”, Xiao Zhan truly had nothing more to say. He too had faced such embarrassing situations many times in the past. Even a week ago, his own costar of the drama he was currently shooting for, had invited him, thrice, to a dinner date. It was indeed discomfiting for both of them when he had politely refused her all the three times.

“Yibo”

_“What?”_

“Tomorrow you are going to Singapore. Come back and we will discuss about it”

_“Zhan-ge, you have been saying this since a long time… when are we actually going to announce?”_

“It’s difficult Yibo… you know”

_“Even an indirect announcement will do, Ge. I am not talking about hints and all. I am not asking you for a public display of your affection for me. An indirect announcement refers to something clear… I want everybody to know that our relationship statuses are no more single”_

Xiao Zhan bent his head to drop a peck on the base of Yibo’s throat.

“We will surely talk about it. Finish your work and come back soon. I will seriously plan something nice with you”

_“Promise?”_

“A sincere Promise to my Bo-ge”

The arrival of the flight that Yibo was about to board was delayed by an hour. Sitting in the airport’s waiting room, he was quietly observing a couple trying to feed their new born baby and change her diaper.

 _His_ mobile vibrated, notifying _him_ the arrival of a new message. _He_ unlocked the screen and smiled to himself.

The same text for the third time in a row.

_‘ I am missing you. I will miss you more. Seven days is too long. Can’t you come back sooner?’_

Yibo quickly typed the same reply for the third time.

_‘ Stop being like a teenager in love, GeGe…… you have grown old’_

_His_ beloved sent _him_ a set of _‘sad’_ & _‘crying’_ emoticons in response. Yibo was almost about to let out a noisy giggle but _he_ restrained himself and shoved _his_ mobile into _his_ pocket.

Some minutes later, the device vibrated again, demanding _his_ attention. _He_ checked the screen.

_‘ Xiao Zhan tagged you in a new post’_

Yibo was really surprised. A Weibo notification? _His_ Zhan-ge and _he_ had never tagged each other in any of their social media handles, in the past eleven years. How did such a thing like this happen, out of the blue? They had not even talked anything about it.

Yibo quickly tapped on the app and saw Xiao Zhan’s recently updated post of a watercolor painting – _two men on a beach, their hands linked, their faces directed towards the horizon – the line where the heaven touched the ocean, where the yellow ball of fire was spreading largeness of its rays into a grateful sky. It was the reflection of the dawn; the orange gold stretches far and wide were clearly indicating the promise of the rising sun. A bike was parked on the beach, at a distance from them. A cat and a dog were playing around._

And then there was _his_ beloved’s caption: ‘I suppose… growing old with you will be quite exciting. Looking forward to spend this lifetime with my Wang Laoshi @UNIQ-王一博’

Words were stuck in _his_ throat as Yibo unblinkingly kept staring at _his_ mobile screen. _He_ wanted to shout out loud. _He_ wanted to scream with uncontrollable delight. If this wasn’t magic, Yibo did not know what it was. It was as if _his_ Xiao Zhan had bewitched _his_ very soul.

Just then, there was an incoming call from this person – the only man of _his_ life.

Yibo pressed _his_ phone to his ear.

A long peaceful silence followed. They both knew they were not required to say anything much, at the moment. Yibo was just listening to the calm breathing of the other man on the line.

“So… anything else my sweetheart wants me to do?”

 _“I want you to admit that you are Aphasia… because you made me speechless”_ , Yibo said and let out a contented sigh. _His_ chest was about to burst out with overflowing pride.

“Wang Yibo?”

_“Mn?”_

“You don’t have to say anything…… I know you hate me”

_“I know you hate me too, Zhan-ge… the most, in this world”_


End file.
